by Sherry Ewing
“Ye shall live, Killian. The lady will travel to Berwyck from time tae time but she must never learn that ye know of her. There are aspects of her life that she must complete before the two of ye can at last be together.”
“And just how will I know this person is the woman ye are saying is destined for me?” he growled out. “There are lots of people who venture to Berwyck.”
“Ye shall know. Just remember… ’tis of import that ye heed my words about allowing this time tae pass between ye, else ye shall ruin more than yer own future.”
“I hear them,” he grumbled, yet there was a slight nagging inside his head when Shona spoke of this mysterious lady he would one day meet. But he ignored such a whispering, for his only wish was to get the hell out of the healer’s hut and drown himself in wine. Mayhap if he got drunk some of this conversation might make sense.
“She will be worth waiting for, Killian,” she repeated. “Ye but need tae trust me…”
He left the hut and went toward the stables to thoroughly dunk his head in the horse trough. He was not sure if the water cleared his head from the jumbled thoughts racing across his mind but at least his face was clean. What did some middle-aged woman know anyway? he mused.
Making his way to the garrison hall, he went to his room and changed into clean garments before heading back toward the tourney field. Now… where had Lady Beatrice gone? He went in search of the lady as though his talk with Mistress Shona had never occurred.
Chapter 27
The Oak Tree Tavern
The Year of Our Lord’s Grace, 1153
Ella sat at a corner table, her back to the wall while she clutched the cup of ale in trembling hands. Hands that were no longer aged by time. Hands that were young again just like the rest of her body. If only they would stop shaking.
Gazing at her younger self in the reflection of the water had still been just as shocking as it had been the first time. She had rinsed her mouth out before picking up the hem of her dress and started walking in the direction of the tavern. She knew the way. She had been there before.
Luckily, she had sewn a few coins into the hem of her gown so she was not completely without monies on the off chance the time for meeting Simon was not yet. She doubted such would be the case, which was why her eyes continually went to the tavern door each time it opened. Still… she kept expecting to witness another version of herself creeping into the tavern but at least that had not happened. Apparently, Time was indeed a master manipulator and in this instance she was grateful she was not ripping open the fabric of Time. ’Twas one less thing to worry over!
Ella took a drink then put her head in her hands. She was not sure how much more she could take, even while she knew she was destined for living her life all over again. She briefly pondered how many times she would recite that mantra in her immediate future. Shit! Just the thought of existing almost another thirty years before laying eyes on Killian again just about broke her heart… Thirty years until she could kiss him again! That is if she did not kill him first.
A gust of wind blew through the room while the candles flickered on the walls when the door opened to admit a weary traveler. She would have recognized him anywhere. A person did not forget the father of ones child and her breath seemed trapped in her throat when the knight pulled back the hood of his cloak and made his way toward the barkeep. His black curly hair was just as unruly as she remembered, his shoulders just as broad. If she had not been so in love with Henry at the time of her encounter with Simon, she would have appreciated the handsome man who had come to love her. Tall, with light blue eyes, he appeared so much like their son that tears welled in her eyes. Ella realized she had cared for him after all.
He turned at the bar, leaning an elbow on the edge while he took a sip from his tankard. Their gazes met across the space between them, his eyes widening as he inspected her. He cocked his head to one side as though debating whether or not he should seek her out.
Ella knew this outcome, just as she knew others that would happen between them, so she had no issue when Simon made his way across the room to stand before her table.
He held out his hand to the vacant bench. “May I?”
She knew she must not appear so eager. As far as Simon was concerned, they were strangers. “Sit?” she asked and at his nod, she casually took a sip from her cup before setting it down. She waved her hand about the room. “There are plenty of other places to take your ease. Choose another table.”
“Ah… I see,” he said, taking another drink while his eyes swept the other occupants of the tavern.
Ella folded her hands in her lap. “See what, good sir?”
“You are awaiting your husband, of course.”
“I assure you, I am not married nor am I waiting for a husband to join me.”
“A young woman with your fine looks unwed?” he questioned good-naturedly. “Why, I can hardly believe my good fortune.”
Her lips twitched at the compliment. It had been so long since they had teased one another. “I see not how my marital status, or lack thereof, is any of your concern.”
“Any man who would not take you to wife is a fool,” he murmured before sliding across the bench to sit across from her.
“You do not even know me,” she answered with a raised brow.
“Call it intuition. How many fools have let you slip through their grasp?”
“I have only encountered one of late who would fit such a description,” she laughed, “present company not included.”
Simon’s chuckle was a familiar reminder of her previous time with this gentleman before her. He would, after all, be Faramond’s father one day. “I suspect there may come a time when you may also call me a fool.”
“Only time will tell, sir,” Ella replied with a smirk.
“Mayhap we should introduce ourselves. I am Lord Simon of Hull and who is the enchantress before me that I cannot take my eyes from?”
“Ella,” she replied, again giving no more information to Simon than she had to Henry.
Simon reached across the table for her hand and kissed her fingertips. “’Tis indeed a pleasure, ma cherie.”
A shiver raced through her body, welcomed despite the love she felt for Killian. She shook her head knowing what was in store for her. She would not give any further thoughts to her Scotsman tonight. This moment belonged to Simon. She offered him a small smile. “My lord…”
He watched her carefully and finally realized he still held her fingers in his hand. He released them, and Ella swore she saw a hint of regret when he did so.
“Mistress Ella…” his words trailed off as though he was as confused as she had been when they had first met.
“Aye?”
“You may find this strange but I feel as though I know of you.”
“I assure you, we have never met before this eve.”
“The moment I espied you across the room, I felt compelled to make your acquaintance. Have you ever experienced the like?” His smile was wary yet she could see the joy on his face while small lines crinkled near his eyes.
“Not ’til I met you,” she whispered.
He held his palm upwards on the table. A simple offering, yet the implication was monumental at least in Ella’s mind. She took his hand. Let their journey begin…
Chapter 28
Hull Castle
Several se’nnights later
* * *
Ella’s fingers trembled while she made a second attempt to take needle and thread to the fabric in her hands but ’twas useless as she stared at the knot. Memories of her time with Lady Katherine and the woman’s aversion to sewing anything by hand almost had her smiling… almost. But there was nothing about Ella’s current situation to smile about, not given the fact that she was living under Simon’s roof.
He had been courteous to a fault. Had taken her on outings and even bought her enough fabric from the village that she would have cloth for more than a dozen gowns. Ribbons and baubles had also
shown up in her room amongst her things. A small bouquet of wildflowers brightened her table in a vivid display of color in an otherwise stark chamber.
Not that material things were of import, but ’twas nice to be spoiled for a change. She sighed while becoming lost in thought. A person’s life and the way they lived it were all that mattered. Simon had gone beyond himself in his attempts to win her heart. He deserved better than what she could offer him.
Simon would no doubt feel betrayed once she bore him the news and she could not delay its telling any longer. She was not sure if she could stand the hurt that would certainly appear upon his face, along with the disappointment that was sure to follow.
She set the fabric down and stood, her hand automatically traveling to her stomach. She was pregnant with Killian’s child. With everything that had been going on around her, how had she not thought of when her last monthly courses had occurred? Her fate had somehow changed. Killian would sire a child and he would never know the babe was his.
But Killian was not her immediate problem. How could he be when he did not even know of her in this place in time? Her thoughts went to Simon. She knew how much he cared for her. How would she ever explain to him that she carried another man’s baby within her? He would throw her from the gates without haste!
She could no longer put off the inevitable. Wiping the tears she had not even been aware of shedding from her face, she left her bedchamber and made her way to Simon’s. He would be surprised to see her at his door but this was a conversation to have in private.
Ella went down the darkened passageway and she wished the place had more sconces placed upon the stone walls. If she were to stay, she would have seen that the corridors were properly lit.
She raised her hand to knock upon the closed portal in front of her while a chill swept over her. Get it over with Ella and let whatever is to happen… happen. She knocked, and the door was soon opened by a servant who then went back to his master to help him with his cloak.
Simon looked up briefly before taking a ring from the servant who was finishing seeing Simon dressed for the morn.
“Ella, my dearest, I was just about to send someone to your chamber to see if you would care for a stroll by the river. ’Tis a fair clear day,” he declared before finally leveling his gaze upon her. “Ella… whatever is the matter?”
“Simon… I must needs have speech with you,” she whispered, so softly he leaned forward to hear her.
“Of course,” he said before waving to his servant. “Leave us.” The man quickly bowed and left, quietly closing the door behind him.
Now that they were alone, Ella was uncertain where to begin. Simon came to her and her knees buckled. He quickly took her about the waist and led her to a chair by the fire. She opened her mouth several times before her lips snapped shut. How she hated to hurt him.
Simon studied her for several moments. “You are leaving me,” he finally blurted out reaching for her hands.
“What?” she asked. Did she really hear him say those words or was it just her imagination?
“You wish to leave,” he said in a calm flat tone.
“Nay. I do not wish to leave but you may be tossing me from the keep after what I must tell you.”
The air rushed from his lungs. “I am relieved.”
“Simon…” she gulped and felt a small amount of comfort from the warmth of his hands.
“Tell me what has you so distraught, Ella. We can work through anything as long as we stay together,” he declared, his heartfelt declaration almost tore her apart.
“I do not know how to easily say this, and I will pray you will not be angered when I tell you my news.” She waited with bated breath while he reached up to run a finger down her cheek, a more loving look she had never seen on his face. “I am pregnant.”
His hand dropped and his smile quickly faded. He rose and went to the window to open the shutter. Gripping the edges of stone with white knuckles, he hunched over before he once more stood to full height to stare out silently at the river below.
“I am sorry, Simon,” she moaned as she watched the anguish cross what she could see of his face. He wiped at his eyes before turning towards her, his hands clasped behind his back.
“What of the father?”
She thought quickly. There was no sense telling Simon the truth. She did not wish to face the repercussions of him learning of her original roots and possibly end up in the same situation as she had with her son who still needed to be born. “Dead,” she whispered, lowering her head with the lie.
“How?”
She raised her eyes to meet his, feeling her own tears on the edges of her lashes. “Does it matter?” Even thinking of Killian as dead made her heart falter. She did not know his fate after he pushed her into the time gate, only that he lived in this time at a far younger age, just as she herself was doing.
He sighed, almost as though in defeat. “Nay, I suppose not. Did you love him?”
“Aye, not that such an emotion does either me or the babe any good,” she confided. She would not denounce the love she felt for her child’s father no matter how much she hurt the man in front of her.
He flinched at her admission of loving another. His back remained ramrod straight. “I see.”
“I did not mean to hurt you, my lord, and for that I am deeply sorry.”
He turned away from her again to stare back through the window. Ella watched him taking several deep breaths as though to gather his composure.
“You must know I care for you, Ella,” he muttered as he refused to gaze upon her.
“As I care for you,” she answered.
He quickly turned to watch her. “Do you?”
“Aye, how could I not feel an amount of fondness for you, Simon?” She stood to go to him but he held up his hand. She returned to her seat uncertain as to what judgment he would pass upon her.
“But not as much as you loved him,” he surmised.
She could not answer him, not when her heart truly belonged to a man she had yet to meet. She had a sense of déjà vu. Once she had been sitting in Simon’s solar thinking only of Henry. Now here she sat in Simon’s bedchamber thinking only of Killian. Had God stepped in and changed her fate yet again? What would such a change do to the future events that must come to pass?
Simon cleared his throat bringing Ella out of her reminiscing. “You do not need to answer my question. I can see for myself such is the case.”
“I do not know what to say to ease your suffering.”
He came to sit next to her, his hands forming a steeple on the arms of his chair, possibly contemplating their future together. How was she to convince him they should marry while she carried another’s babe in her belly? If he tossed her from Hull, Faramond would never be born.
Simon dropped his hands to his lap, fingering one of his rings. “I have a proposal.”
“I am listening.”
“I am a man who goes after what he wants. You, Ella, are what I want for my wife. I cannot explain why I am acting so rashly after knowing you but a short period of time, but I do know my feelings. I am in love with you even if you carry another man’s child.”
She gasped for she never thought in her wildest imagination he would utter such words, not given her circumstances. “I do not know what to say, Simon.”
“Perchance with time you may one day have a greater amount of affection for me, but I have enough love in my heart to carry me through ’til you do.”
“You cannot possibly think we should remain together?”
“Why not? You have a better plan or place to go?” he asked with a raised brow, even though he knew her answer.
“Nay, I do not.”
“Mayhap his family will take you in?”
She shook her head. “There is no other place for me to be, other than at Hull.”
“Then we will strike a bargain, you and I.”
May God help me and give me strength… here come his terms. “Go on.”
“We shall wed, posthaste. If you birth a daughter, then I shall claim her as my own. If, however, you have a son, you must know I cannot leave him Hull, not when that would deny my true son his inheritance if we are so blessed. If such is the case, we shall tell them of your husband’s death. ’Twill not be hard to convey the truth of the matter. If a girl, no one need ever be the wiser.”
“You would allow me to keep my daughter or son and raise the child here?” She was shocked, certain Simon would send her babe to the farthest corner of the earth. He was a prideful man, and this seemed more than she could have thought possible, given their past relationship.
“The child is still yours, Ella, unless you wish to be rid of it. If such is the case, I can make that happen just as easily.”
Her arms went protectively around her as if keeping her baby safe. “Nay, I would wish to keep my child no matter if ’tis a boy or girl.”
“As long as the child brings you pleasure, then I, too, will be content. Our happiness is all that matters to me.”
“You are more than fair, my lord,” she replied with a sense of relief ’til their eyes met. He was not done with her as yet.
“There is more.”
She nodded. “I expected there would be.”
“I never and I repeat never wish to know or have you speak his name. Is this perfectly clear, my lady,” he hissed and for the first time Ella was aware of the full extent of his anger hovering just beneath the cool façade he showed her.
“Aye, my lord,” she whispered bowing her head in submission, hoping her voice sounded contrite enough to pacify Simon.
“Good! We shall have many happy years ahead of us after the birth of your child.”
“I am certain we have much to look forward to, my lord,” she agreed.
“We will have many children…”
We will have one son.
“…and if your child is a son, then he and my heir will foster together. I have a distant cousin who has been eager for me to produce a son so he can train him to be a great knight,” he beamed, appearing to be pleased with thoughts of his own offspring.
