“I have an idea, Gus. Get in that hunk of junk and drive it to the first fireplug you see and park it. Let the cops tow it and have Miss Elaine fight with the town over it. I think—and this is just a suggestion—but I think you should park it as close to the police station as you can. And, when you get out, wipe off all your fingerprints, just to be on the safe side. It is registered in her name, right?” Gus nodded.
“You won’t need it anymore, so that’s one less thing on your list to worry about. My detectives will find where your car is, and they’ll heist it for you. Since the car is in your name, there is nothing she can do about it. Unless you were dumb enough to put that in her name, too. Were you?”
“No, I didn’t put her name on it. But I have to be honest with you, I did think about it; the business, too. She was harping on me about that, last fall, but I just didn’t get around to it.”
Barney laughed as he climbed behind the wheel of a snappy Mercedes-Benz. “I’ll follow you, and, Gus, you’re in good hands now.”
Two hours later, Barney’s car was loaded with all of Gus’s belongings. After a forty-minute drive, they set about unloading the car at Barney’s place. Gus was never sure what to call Barney’s digs. Was it an estate? A minicastle? A palace fit for a king named Barney? Barney said it was just a house to sleep in that happened to have a six-car garage, with a high-end car in each bay. A house that sat on five pristine, manicured acres, which held a tennis court, an Olympic-size swimming pool, a four-bedroom guesthouse, and another building where his live-in housekeeper and gardener resided.
The inside of the palatial house was just as spectacular as the outside, but in a different way. Inside, it was all home and hearth, with comfortable furniture, fireplaces that worked, and a kitchen that would have been any chef’s idea of perfection. It was homey, and it smelled like Granny’s house. Barney had told Gus once that one of his rules was he always wanted his house to smell like something was cooking or baking, and he had succeeded.
Gus looked over at his pudgy friend—at his owlish glasses, his thinning hair, his kind eyes—and got all choked up. “I don’t know what to say, Barney.”
“Then don’t say anything, okay? You know I hate it when you go all mushy on me. I have an idea. Let’s pitch a tent and sleep out tonight. We can make a campfire and roast some weenies and marshmallows. We can tell ghost stories, or you can tell me horror stories of your marriage, whatever pleases you. It will be like old times, but now we’re legal to drink beer. What do you say?”
“I say let’s do it. Barney, did you ever have anyone kiss you until you thought your tonsils were going to pop out?”
“Yep.”
“And you didn’t marry her?”
“Nope.”
“But why?”
“Well, for one thing, I wanted to keep my tonsils. So I won’t get sore throats. You get sore throats once your tonsils are removed. For another thing, when a woman kisses me, I want it to be because she loves me and wants me to be the father of her children.”
“Ah.”
Chapter 4
GUS ROLLED OVER, UNCERTAIN FOR A MOMENT AS TO WHERE he was, something that it seemed was becoming a habit. He reached out, thinking he was in bed with Elaine, until he felt the stubble on Barney’s face. He whooped and sat up, waking Barney.
“What the hell!”
“Bad dream, Barney. Sorry. Damn, it’s raining.”
“Granny always said April showers bring May flowers,” Barney said, sitting up. “I feel like crap. Been awhile since I downed six beers, a bag of marshmallows, and four weenies. Do ya think we’re too old for this crap, Gus?”
“Nah! You’re never too old for your memories. They just come out different in real life. We never did get around to the ghost stories. That’s probably why we feel like shit this morning. We didn’t complete the ritual.”
“Yeah, well, we aren’t ten years old anymore, either,” Barney groaned. “Let’s pack up the sleeping bags and head on into the house to get cleaned up. Then we can sit down and have a good breakfast. After that, I’m heading out to the farm to see Granny and the aunts. What are you going to do?”
Gus thought about it. What was he going to do? “Guess I’ll sit around here and wait for you to get back. Bring Wilson with you, okay?”
“Yeah, sure. You should hang out in my office in case the detective or lawyer fax something over. You need to be on top of everything from here on in. Phil Ross is the detective, and Jillian Jackson is the lawyer. Everyone calls her Jill. You’re going to like them both. They’re both animal lovers, so that’s a plus. Unlike Elaine, who does not like animals. Does she like anyone except herself, do you know?” Barney asked as he rolled up his sleeping bag and stuffed it into a sack, then pulled the drawstring. “We don’t have to worry about the tent. Tim will take it down, dry it out, and pack it away.”
Gus finished with his sleeping bag and waited until Barney pulled down the zipper of the canvas door. The rain was coming down in sheets. They made a run for the house but got drenched in the process.
“We’re wet to the skin. You want to stomp in some puddles before we go in? Fling some mud the way we used to?”
Gus grinned as he kicked off his shoes, which were already soaked, and ran like a crazy man around the yard, Barney whooping and hollering right behind him. Twenty minutes later, they rolled in a huge pile of mud beside a flower bed that one day soon would be sprouting with blooms. They were ten years old again, yelling at each other and pelting mud pies in every direction. Finally, exhausted, they lay down on the grass and let the cool rain clean off the mud.
“I needed to do that, Gus. I really did. I think you did, too. Now we have to go back to being the responsible adults everyone thinks we are.”
Gus was the first one up on his feet. He reached down for Barney’s hand. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Barney. I’m sorry if I don’t say it often enough, but I love you. I couldn’t love and respect you more if you were a blood brother.”
“I feel the same way. The only difference is I have a brother who isn’t worth a good spit. Hell, I don’t even want anyone to know he’s related to me. C’mon, I’ll race you to the house!” Barney bellowed.
Gus grinned as he wondered what Barney’s millionaire clients would think of him if they could see him now. They’d probably run for the hills or pull out their hair. The visual was so funny to Gus, he burst out laughing. And Barney wouldn’t give a good rat’s ass. Anyone worried about their tonsils simply wouldn’t care. Gus was still laughing when he stripped off the soaking-wet clothes and stepped into a shower with twenty-one jets to pummel his sore body. For sure, he wasn’t ten years old anymore.
Wilson leaped up, hopped over Winnie, and raced to the front door. Company!
“Oh, Lord, who is it this time? Don’t tell me Augustus has returned,” Rose said as she ran after Wilson and Winnie, who had finally woken up long enough to wonder what the commotion was all about. She let loose with two sharp barks to show she was still in the game.
They came from all corners of the house: Iris and Violet from the packing room, Myrt and Gert, Shady Pines star ambulatory residents bounding down the steps, their aprons flapping in the breeze they created. Henry, another resident of Shady Pines—and their driver—stuck his head out of the doorway to the dining room to see what was going on. Six other residents of Shady Pines hung over the upstairs balcony, peering down into the foyer.
“This can’t be good,” Violet hissed.
“Augustus is sending in his big gun to plead his case,” Iris hissed in return.
“We have to let him in,” Rose said. “We don’t have any other choice. We’ll give him fifteen minutes, that’s it.” Rose then waved her arm to indicate that all the other spectators should disappear.
Rose waited till the house turned silent before she opened the door. She smiled, but it was more like a grimace. The three sisters greeted Barney warmly and headed for the kitchen. That’s when Rose remembered the l
edger she had been working on. Well, she’d just close it and hope for the best. Wilson and Winnie continued to bark now that a friend had come to visit, a friend who always had treats and was good for a few belly scratches.
Right off the bat, Barney knew he had interrupted something of major importance. The Blossom sisters were nervous and jittery, and it took them a full five minutes before they offered him coffee. Their expressions clearly showed they hoped he wouldn’t take them up on the offer. He didn’t.
I should have shoved the ledger in the oven to hide it, but Violet is baking two peach pies, Rose thought. Talk about cooking the books, had she done that. She sucked in her breath and said, “It’s so nice to see you, Barney. How long are you staying this time?”
“Actually, I’m leaving early this evening for Hong Kong. I’ll be there for six months. I just wanted to drop off these presents. French perfume!” Barney said, holding out the shiny black bag he’d brought with him as though it were the Holy Grail.
“Well, that is just so sweet of you, isn’t it, girls? We’ll be sure to wear it on Sunday when we go to church. Right, girls?” Iris said as she sniffed the expensive perfume. Rose and Violet nodded.
“My pleasure. It looks like I interrupted something,” Barney said, eyeing the ledger on the kitchen table. “I won’t keep you if you’re busy. I just wanted to pop in and say hello.” The relief he saw on the women’s faces was almost comical.
Rose shrugged. “Household expenses, that kind of thing. I hate to let things go because then I can’t remember to make the entries.”
“Gus is a CPA, Granny. Why don’t you have him take care of that for you?”
“Because . . . well, we started out with an old friend who does our taxes. We can’t just take that away from him because of Augustus. It wouldn’t be right.”
“And Augustus doesn’t need to know our business,” Violet snapped. “That young man has loyalty issues,” she snapped again.
“Whoa! Whoa! Are we talking about my friend Gus, your grandson, Rose, and your nephew, Violet and Iris?” Barney spread his hands wide to show he wasn’t buying whatever it was the Blossom sisters were trying to sell him.
“One and the same,” Rose said smartly. “We do thank you for bringing us the perfume. I know how busy you must be, since you said you’re leaving this evening. You did say that, didn’t you?”
Barney knew he was being dismissed, and he didn’t like it at all. What the hell is going on here? Suddenly, he felt like he were ten years old again and had just failed his social skills test given by three stern taskmasters. In spite of himself, he shivered, and he didn’t like the feeling. Not one little bit.
“We know Gus sent you!” Violet blurted.
“He did not send me. I came here on my own. I come to visit each time I’m in town, and the three of you know it darned well. Whatever your issue is with Gus, it shouldn’t have anything to do with me.” Barney waited to see if he’d get a slap upside the head. He was so relieved when it didn’t happen, he felt weak. “He does know I’m here and asked me to bring Wilson back with me.”
Three sets of eyes stared at Barney. “Ask Wilson if he wants to go with you. If he does, he’ll drag his basket to the door. If he doesn’t, he’s staying here,” Rose said coldly.
Barney felt like a fool, but he leaned down and said, “Wilson, Gus wants me to take you to him. Get your basket and let’s go.”
Wilson showed Barney his teeth before he trotted over to the handmade rag carpet by the stove, where Winnie was watching what was going on. He plopped down, showed his teeth again, then barked.
“Guess that’s your answer, Barney. Wilson is smart. He knows he was dumped here by Augustus just the way Augustus dumped us.”
Barney threw his hands in the air. “You all need to have a meeting to clear the air. Gus loves you three more than anything in life. Can’t you cut him a break? He’s miserable.”
“Young man, tell that to someone who cares. We-do-not-care! You probably should leave now before the three of us pitch a hissy fit. Thank you for the perfume,” Violet said.
Iris reached for Barney’s arm and escorted him to the front door.
Barney looked around over his shoulder, and was certain eyes were watching his every move. Many eyes. Too many eyes. Unfriendly eyes. Shit!
At the door, Iris opened it and literally shoved him outside. “Thanks for stopping by, Barney. It might be wise to call for an appointment the next time you feel the need to visit.”
Bang! The door slammed shut. Barney heard the deadbolt snap into place. He could hear Wilson and Winnie barking their heads off. What the hell is going on inside that house?
If I were a cat, my tail would be between my legs, Barney thought as he pulled up to one of the bays of the garage attached to his house. He pressed the remote, and the door slid upward. Gus was going to be devastated when he saw that Barney didn’t have Wilson with him. He’d personally known Wilson since the day Gus got him at the age of six weeks. He considered himself the dog’s godfather and had bought him his first collar and leash. Never once had Wilson showed him his teeth. How am I going to explain this to Gus?
Gus practically flew out the door as Barney pulled his car into the garage. He whistled for Wilson, who always came at the sound. When nothing happened, Gus felt his shoulders slump. Even his dog had abandoned him.
Barney lowered the garage door. He stood with his hands on his hips, the rain pelting him for the second time that day. “He showed me his teeth, Gus. He didn’t want to come with me. I wasn’t about to force him, and those old ladies were in no mood for me today, French perfume or not. I gotta tell you, something is going on out at that farm. And, yeah, you are part of it, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Those ladies are up to something. I felt like I was being watched the whole time I was there, and they could not, I repeat, could not, wait for me to leave. They have a hate on for you right now. They said you had no loyalty. I tried to defend you, but they didn’t want to hear it. I wouldn’t go out there for a while if I were you. Maybe never!” Barney said dramatically as he stomped in a puddle and ruined a second pair of shoes. “C’mon, let’s go in and get some fresh coffee. They were baking pies at the farm. Among other things,” Barney said through clenched teeth.
“What should I do?” Gus asked as he held the door open for Barney.
“Hope for a miracle, would be my advice. I told you not to marry that gold digger.”
“That’s what Granny called Elaine. Well, they all did,” Gus said as he followed Barney through the house and up the stairs. He, too, had to change his clothes and shoes again.
At the top of the steps, Barney bellowed to Maggie, his housekeeper, to make fresh coffee. Gus hoped she heard from wherever she was, because he was chilled to the bone.
Gus was the first one down to the kitchen. He marveled at the place setting Maggie had laid out. He knew he could get used to being waited on like this in no time. And he liked the roly-poly little housekeeper with the laughing eyes. He wondered if, in the days to come, he’d ever be able to afford a housekeeper. By the time Elaine got through with him, he’d be lucky to eat at Burger King five days a week and starve the other two days. His eyes burned then when he remembered his grandmother telling him that God never gives you more than you can handle. That was easy to tell a little kid who didn’t understand that his parents didn’t want him because he was a burden. They’d just dumped him at his grandparents’ when he was four years old and took off. He’d never heard from them again. God must have been out to lunch that day, because it was more than he could handle, just like now.
Gus was finishing his first cup of coffee when Barney appeared in the kitchen doorway with a pile of papers in hand. “The first report from Phil Ross. It is not pretty, Gus, so be prepared. There’s a fax from Jill, too. She’s coming out here later this afternoon. I invited her to dinner on your behalf. More casual that way, and you two can get to know one another.
“I’m going to gulp this co
ffee and head out. I have meetings right up until it’s time to head to the airport, so this has to be good-bye for now. Man, I hate leaving you like this, Gus. I really do. But, the good thing is, I’m leaving you in good hands. That much I do know. I’m just a phone call away, and if you really need me, I can be on the first plane home. I mean it, Gus.”
Gus nodded, his eyes on the papers lying on the table. He wondered exactly what was not pretty and what he needed to be prepared for. What could be worse than his wife claiming his house and stealing his car? And being mean to Wilson—that was the biggie for him. He looked up at Barney, waiting to see if his friend had more to say. He did.
“Phil said he is going to drop your Porsche off in the parking lot behind Gilligan’s, and you can pick it up later, or he can have someone bring it out here. He had to hot-wire it, but he did get your car back. If I were you, I’d drive one of the cars in my garage and park yours in there, at least for now. Elaine still has a key to it, so if you take it into town, and she spots it, then it’s gone again. By the way, Phil also said that her Beetle was taken to the impound lot, and she hasn’t picked it up yet.”
“Damn! He actually got my Porsche back! That’s great. Good idea, too, about me not driving it, as long as you don’t mind me driving one of yours.”
“What’s mine is yours, you know that, Gus. So we’re good here, right? At least for now. I can go off knowing you’re in good hands and not worry too much.”
“I don’t know what to say, Barney. I just wish there was something I could do for you to repay you. You have everything. What’s a guy like me supposed to do?”
“I’ll tell you what you’re supposed to do. You need to find away to make peace with those old ladies. I don’t care if you have to slither on your belly to make it happen, just do it. This whole thing is killing them, Gus. So work on that, and we’re square.”
The two old friends hugged, both their eyes burning. “See ya when I see ya,” Barney said, popping open his umbrella, which was as big as one of those monstrosities one sees at the beach. Gus watched from the kitchen as his best buddy in the whole world approached a large puddle. A very large puddle. He knew before Barney knew that he’d stomp in it. Once a kid, always a kid. He would have done the same thing.
The Blossom Sisters Page 4
