by Lily Rose
“On accident my butt,” Marie jabbed.
Kyle put his arm over the back of my chair. “I don’t think it was an accident either.”
“Well, it was,” I said defensively.
“And then?” Axel raised an eyebrow.
Kyle took over. “Let’s just say she liked what she saw and asked me out on the spot.”
I didn’t know why I bothered hiding things from Axel. Since Marie was my best friend, it was nearly impossible.
Marie laughed. “Best story ever.”
“I really did go in the wrong room on accident.” I didn’t want people to think I was some weird creeper who didn’t understand boundaries.
“How is that possible?” Axel asked. “You know how to read, and you’ve been in the locker room before.”
“It was my first day at the gym, and I was a little lost,” I said.
“But I helped her find her way.” Kyle was enjoying this more than he should.
Marie clapped her hands in excitement. “I’m telling that story at your wedding.”
I kicked her under the table.
“Ouch,” she said under her breath.
“You tell people we’re getting married?” Kyle asked.
“No,” I blurted. “Marie just wants me to get married so bad she thinks every guy I meet is my future husband.”
“I wouldn’t mind marrying you,” Kyle said. “You definitely keep me entertained.” His fingers rubbed the back of my neck.
Marie looked like her greatest dream had just come true.
Axel watched Kyle closely until the food came.
When the plates were set in front of us, I was grateful we had something to do other than talk. Tonight was supposed to be a fun and carefree double date, but it turned into a wedding planning session.
“How do you like yours?” Kyle asked.
“It’s good. Yours?”
He stabbed his fork into one of my meatballs then ate it. “Delicious.”
I took a piece of his chicken and ate it. “Hmm…pretty good.”
“How about we split our food half and half?” Kyle grabbed his plate and prepared to switch them.
I was immediately taken back to my first date with Hawke. The night had gone in a similar way, and we swapped our food like we’d been together for years. Seeing Kyle do something so similar just made me nauseous. “No, I’m okay.” I pulled my plate back toward me and kept my eyes downcast.
Marie gave me a questioning look.
I ignored her and kept eating.
5
Wrong Turn
Hawke
I was such a jerk.
Why did Renee have to forget her wallet? Why did she have to stand by my door with day-old make up on her face and messy hair? It was so obvious she spent the night.
I didn’t want Francesca to see that.
She was seeing some guy and that severed my heart into infinite pieces. Knowing she was with someone else…kissed someone else…made me sick. I had no right to feel that way. After all, I ended our relationship. I turned my back on her and left without a backward glance. We were madly in love and happy…but I threw it away.
I had no right to be upset about it.
The thing that hurt the most was her reaction. Francesca didn’t care in the least. She walked into my apartment like nothing happened. Renee’s presence didn’t affect her at all. She examined my apartment and furniture and complimented the way it looked.
She really was over me.
I didn’t want her to be hurt over Renee. I wasn’t a sadist. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t want her to care.
Because I cared.
After my evening boxing lesson, I met Axel for a drink. We got together throughout the week, playing basketball or drinking our problems away. I thought our relationship might change when he got engaged, and I was surprised it hadn’t. He didn’t spend all his time with Marie, which was unexpected.
If I had a fiancée, I’d be with her all the time.
“How was your workout?” Axel asked as he drank his beer.
“Fine.” I was angrier than usual, so I was grateful I had a punching bag to take it out on. My coach asked if there was something on my mind, but I lied and said everything was just fine.
Axel started talking about the office and the portfolio he was working on. “Dude, you’re smart for opening your business. I hate having a boss.”
“Then do it.”
“It’s not so easy…” He shook his head and looked around the bar. “I wish I’d inherited something from my dad but I didn’t get anything except his old tools and Chevy.”
What? Was I missing something? “Sorry?”
“Oh.” He shook his head like he realized his mistake. “Francesca’s boyfriend inherited a law firm. Now he runs it and pretty much does whatever he wants. He even…” Axel continued talking but his words came out as a blur.
She had a boyfriend?
So, that guy she was seeing wasn’t casual?
She actually had a relationship with him?
Did she love him?
Did they talk about marriage?
“I know jealousy is an ugly color, but I’m totally jealous,” Axel continued. “I’m all about working hard for things that you want but it would be nice to just be handed something for once, you know.”
I didn’t listen to a word he said. Someone stabbed a kitchen knife through my chest, and I was bleeding all over the place. This shouldn’t bother me. I knew this would happen eventually. She was too perfect not to be chased after. I knew she would see other guys and eventually fall in love again but…I guess I didn’t prepare myself for reality. “He’s a lawyer?”
“Yeah,” Axel answered. “I don’t know what kind. I didn’t get a chance to ask because Frankie didn’t want me to ‘interrogate’ him.” He rolled his eyes. “She’s a drama queen, I swear.”
“So, do you like him?” I hoped he was a loser that Axel hated. Then they would break up.
I’m such a jerk.
“Actually, I do.” He shrugged. “It caught me by surprise.”
Crap.
“He’s not uptight and serious. He jokes around a lot, particularly with Frankie. He doesn’t let her get away with anything, and he calls her out on her crap. And he didn’t seem threatened by me at all. It’s like he couldn’t care less about my opinion.”
“Isn’t that a bad thing?”
“No. I like a guy that doesn’t care what anyone thinks. Less drama that way.”
This was getting worse.
“And he’s really successful and good-looking. I’m not going to complain when I know there are so many worse choices out there.” He watched the TV in the corner of the bar.
I felt dead inside. I stared at the surface of the table and ran my fingers through my hair.
Axel turned back to me. “You okay, man?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I didn’t sound convincing whatsoever.
Axel continued to eye me. “I thought you were okay with Frankie? Whenever you guys are together, it’s like you’re friends again.”
No, we just have a connection again. “I just have a headache.”
Axel wasn’t buying it. “Do you still have a thing for her?”
I’d always have a thing for her. “No.”
He leaned back against the booth and didn’t touch his beer again. His eyes were on me, cold and calculating. “Dude, I asked if you were okay with this and you said you were.”
“I am okay with it,” I snapped. “Can we talk about something else? Like sports? Music? Anything?”
He shook his head slightly. “What do you want me to do? I can’t ask you to step down from being the best man.”
This was getting out of hand. “Axel, I don’t have a thing for Francesca. I’m totally and completely over her. I admit it’s weird knowing she has a boyfriend but that’s natural. It’s always going to be weird when your ex is in a new relationship.” I held his gaze and hoped he would believe my
bogus story.
Axel finally drank his beer again, which told me he wasn’t skilled at reading people. “Okay. I’m glad I was wrong. It took me a long time to understand you two were never getting back together. I remember the way you used to be together. It just seemed like…”
We were forever. “Relationships come and go and the world keeps turning.” I took a long drink of my beer in the hope it would wash the depression away.
“Why did you break up to begin with?”
Did we really need to take a trip down memory lane? “It was a long time ago…”
“But you never really told me why.” Axel didn’t know anything about my childhood, or the fact I had an uncontrollable temper that could lead to unforgiveable acts. He didn’t understand I was a monster—and I would hurt Francesca.
“It just didn’t work out.” I watched the TV just so I wouldn’t have to look at him. I wanted to leave and find somewhere to lick my wounds. Painful blows had been inflicted on my heart, and now it didn’t beat the same.
It would never beat the same.
I needed to suck it up.
I was the one who left. She was on her knees in front of my door, but I still turned around and took off. She said we were soul mates, and I agreed with that statement.
But I still walked out on her.
There were times I wanted to beg her to take me back. There were times when I wanted to call her just to hear her voice. But then I remembered what I’d done to her in that bar all those years ago. I grabbed her by the arm and threw her across the floor. At the time, I thought I was grabbing Axel.
But that didn’t change anything.
The hatred burned deep inside me, and that feeling led to anger and despair. I would always be a shadow of a man. I would always be dangerous. No matter what I did or what promises I made to myself, I would never be good enough for her.
This was how it had to be.
It didn’t matter how much I loved her or what we had. It was gone anyway, buried deep in the past. Despite my jealousy and lingering possessiveness, I knew I had to turn the other way and ignore it. Francesca had moved on like she was supposed to.
This was what I wanted.
I knew she would find someone that would treat her right and make her happy. He would have a normal family and lack all the serious issues I possessed. He would love her and never let her go.
This was what I wanted.
So I should be happy for her. I shouldn’t look at her like she was still mine. This day was going to come eventually, and I had to embrace it as much as possible. It didn’t matter what we had between us, as earth-shattering as it was.
It simply wasn’t possible.
When I went home that night, my shoulders were heavier than they’d ever been before. An invisible weight rested on them, and sometimes it was hard just to walk. An anvil lay against my chest, making it difficult to breathe.
I sat on the couch and looked out the window. The city was at my feet, and I sat on my iron throne. I accomplished everything I dreamed of, but it felt oddly empty. My life had never been complete…since she left.
The loneliness ate me alive most of the time. It was easy not to think about it when Francesca wasn’t in my life. But now that she reappeared, her presence was a constant reminder of what I’d lost. She emitted a small beacon of light, something no one else could see but me. It shined bright despite its dullness, and I could see it in the darkest places. Sometimes it was difficult to resist the pull. I wanted to go to her and feel safe again, feel loved again.
But then I remembered she didn’t feel that way anymore.
And she shouldn’t.
I pulled out my phone and sent a message to one of my regulars. She was a model for Cosmo, and she had the figure of a swimsuit model. She was foreign and embarrassed of her poor English, so she didn’t talk much—which I preferred. Thinking of you.
She responded immediately, like always. Yeah? Be more specific.
Come over here and see.
6
Plans
Francesca
Every day at The Muffin Girl was exactly the same. From morning until noon, it was chaotic, and there wasn’t time to even glance at the clock. Orders poured in, customers filed inside for the flavor of the day coffee, and I worked on my creations in the back. I spent most of my time making wedding cakes, something I hadn’t anticipated before I opened the shop. I assumed I would spend time baking new creations. I did do that, just not very often. But I couldn’t trust anyone else to do the cakes right.
Liz walked by with flour smudged on her cheek. “Marie is here.”
“Send her back.” I was adding the frosting to the cake, making sure it was exactly perfect.
“Sure.” Liz grabbed a set of cookie boxes before she headed back to the front.
“Liz?” I never took my eyes off the cake. “You got flour on your cheek.”
“Oh.” She wiped it off with her forearm. “Thanks.” Then she disappeared to the front of the bakery.
Marie came to the back a moment later, wearing a tight gray dress and a necklace with teal beads around her throat. “Another day in paradise?”
I dipped the spatula in the bowl of water before I dabbed more frosting on it. “How many times do I have to tell you to come back here? You don’t need to ask permission every time.”
I grabbed the piping bag and started making the ivory beads along the bottom layer of the wedding cake.
“I really liked Kyle the other night.” A smile was in her voice.
“He’s a real hoot.” He was the cockiest guy I’ve ever met, apart from Hawke.
“And I can tell he really likes you too.”
“He likes the fact I walked into the locker room and asked him out when he was naked.”
“I think it’s more than that…”
I set my tool down then removed my apron. “What time is it?”
“Oh, don’t change the subject.”
“What?” I asked. “We were talking about Kyle. That’s not a subject.” I grabbed my phone and eyed the time on the screen. “Dang, it’s already one?”
“Time flies when you’re in a fairytale.”
I looked down at my shirt, which was covered with flour and frosting. “Yeah…I look like a princess.”
Marie moved to a stool then glanced at me with excitement in her eyes. “Kyle is really something. Why did it take you so long to go on a date with him?”
I knew Marie only cared because she was my best friend. She always had my best interest at heart. But, her nosiness got on my nerves sometimes. “If he’s so dreamy, why don’t you go out with him?”
“Because I’m already marrying the dreamiest guy ever.” She held up her ring finger, where the huge rock sat.
I cringed. “Axel is not dreamy. He’s more like a nightmare.”
Marie didn’t push the argument. “I’m going shopping for my dress on Saturday. You want to come?”
“What kind of question is that?” I wanted to throw my spatula at her. “Of course I’ll be there. I’ll cry every time you put on a dress, and I’ll down all the wine they have to offer.”
“Great,” she said. “I’m getting a designer gown so we’ll start at Saks Fifth Avenue.”
Marie was picky about clothes since she worked for a magazine, and I wasn’t surprised she wanted her wedding dress to be the top-of-the-line. I’d always planned on wearing my mother’s wedding dress on my big day. “Sounds great. I’ll make the reservation.”
“Best maid of honor ever.”
“I know.” I wasn’t going to be humble about it. I was going to the moon and back for Marie, but I didn’t mind in the least. I wanted the very best for her, and not just because she was marrying my brother.
“Have you talked to Kyle?”
“Not since we went out.”
Marie pressed her lips tightly together like she wanted to say something.
I dared her with my eyes.
She made the right d
ecision to back off. “So, you want to get lunch? I can tell you haven’t eaten today. Well, you haven’t eaten something besides frosting.”
“I’d love to.”
I just finished making homemade pizza when there was a knock on my door. I was currently rocking flannel pajama bottoms and a tank without a bra. Whenever no one was around, I let my true colors out. I was a messy slob, and I liked it that way.
I checked the peephole and hoped it was just Marie swinging by to discuss wedding plans, but it was Kyle.
Kyle had his arms across his chest. “Are you just going to stare? I know I’m beautiful, but it’s rude to gawk.”
I wanted to smack him upside the head.
I unlocked the door and cracked it. “Why don’t you ever call before you stop by?”
“Why should I call?” He walked inside without waiting to be invited. “I would come by anyway even if you said you weren’t up for it.” He sniffed the air then headed into the kitchen. “What smells so good?”
I shut the door and released a growl. “If you’d called, I would have had time to put on some make up and change out of my pajamas.” I followed him into the kitchen, crossing my arms over my chest to hide my hard nipples through the thin fabric.
He eyed the pizza on the stove. “Mmm, this looks good.”
“Thank you.”
He turned to me as he leaned against the counter. His eyes looked me up and down, and the corner of his lip upturned in a smile. “You look perfect the way you are.”
I knew he was just saying that. My hair was in a loose bun, and there was a hole in the crotch of my pants. “Uh-huh.”
“You do.” He slowly came toward me then moved his hands to my hips. That ghostly smile was still on his mouth, and his eyes lightened noticeably when he came near. “Honestly, I think you look better without make up.”
“Liar.”
“Baby, you know how I am. I don’t say cheesy lines just to say them.”
