by Mary Calmes
I stopped walking and froze where I was, looking at her like I was seeing her for the first time. “Shit, what am I doing here?”
“Stalling.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re scared,” she said. “It’s okay to be scared, but you gotta dive into the deep end sometime and trust that you’re not gonna drown.”
“I love him.”
“I know.” She nodded. “He’s the only one you’ve ever cared enough about to fight with. That’s how I knew, that’s how I always knew.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
She scoffed. “Men don’t listen to women, straight, bi, or gay, not at all.”
And she was right, at least in my case. I would have never believed that Rand Holloway wanted me for anything at all.
“So?” She prodded me, the warm smile on her face that I adored.
“So I think you should stay here and help me pack.”
“I think that’s a phenomenal idea.”
Chapter 12
DRIVING A truck with a trailer is harder than it looks. The whole adventure becomes particularly dicey when turning. I had cut the angle too closely, and now I had to back out to try another shot at it. I was outside looking at both the trailer and the signpost for the ranch, so entrenched with how to make the turn that I didn’t hear the truck stop behind me.
“What the hell are you doing?” someone yelled.
I turned around, and you could have knocked me over with a feather. “Rand.”
He closed his truck door as he got out and walked around the front to the gravel. I moved forward, but I wasn’t quite sure how I was doing it. I stopped a few feet away and stared at him. He had never looked so good.
“I repeat,” he snapped at me, “what the hell are you doing?”
“Well, I just got back from dropping Phil at the Winston Petting Zoo, and out was fine ’cause it was a straight shot, but in….” I winced, turning back to look at the trailer. “I mean, I can’t back up and go straight because there’s that dip on the other side of the road, and if I cut it too sharp, then—”
“I meant what are you doing here?”
“I just got back from dropping off the cow.” I scowled at him. “Were you not listening?”
“What cow?”
“My cow.”
“You don’t have a cow,” Rand assured me.
“Not anymore, no,” I agreed.
“Wait. When did you have a cow?”
“I had Phil.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Phil,” I reminded him. “Phil was my cow and he went to a petting zoo today.”
“What?”
“Why are you having trouble grasping this?”
“Are you—Jesus, Stef, that was not your cow to—”
“Tyler said since you let me name him, he was mine, and Chris and Everett agreed.”
“Did they?”
“Yessir,” I said, breathing in his manly scent, taking a step closer to him. “How did the hiring go? Did you let someone else talk to the guys, too, since you know you suck at it?”
“I suck at—”
“Tyler said you suck at hiring, remember? And you have to admit, Pete was a really bad choice.”
“You never even met—”
“You know, I think I got this,” I said, turning to walk back to the cab of the truck.
I was grabbed hard and spun around to face the man.
“What are you doing here, Stef?”
I squinted at him. “I live here.”
His eyes widened. “You what?”
“Isn’t that what you said you wanted? I could’ve sworn that’s what you—”
“I thought you weren’t coming.”
“When did I say that?”
His breath came out in a rush of air. “I thought I….” A hand came to my face, and he brushed a strand of hair back out of my eyes. “I was sure I missed my shot.”
I stopped breathing, and my throat went completely dry. “Why?” I croaked out.
“’Cause you were gone for so long I… and then I was cold to you, and I didn’t wanna be, but I couldn’t… help it.”
“You missed me,” I got out, even as my heart started pounding like a drum.
“I missed my chance ten years ago,” he said slowly, his voice husky as he cupped my face in his hands. “I will not let that happen again.”
“You were young, Rand.” I smiled through tears I didn’t realize had filled my eyes. “Give yourself a break. We both needed time to grow up.”
“I can’t lose my love twice,” he whispered to me, his jaw clenching as he spoke, the muscles flexing. “That’s just stupid.”
His love. I just stared at him. It was all I could do. His love.
“Say something.”
I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck and drew him down to me. I felt like I was freezing; my teeth were chattering, and I was trembling, terrified the moment would pass, unbearably happy that I was there with him.
It was not a smooth Hollywood embrace. I clutched at him, keeping him close, my hands in his hair, on his back, making sure he couldn’t get free. When I kissed him, I felt the sigh of pleasure just come up out of me. I had been holding on for so long, holding it together and being strong. I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me; I let no one see a trace of uncertainty or fear. There was only my iron will and my strength, my drive, my purpose.
“I was mad at you for so long,” he said into my hair, holding me close, pressing me tight against him. “And with wanting you at the same time… damn.”
“You should have told me,” I heard myself say, breathing him in, kissing his throat as he spoke.
He moved me suddenly out to arm’s length, and I smiled in spite of myself. He was treating me like I belonged to him, and I thought my heart was going to explode from my chest.
“So where is all your stuff?” he asked me.
“In the house.”
“And where do you work?”
“In Lubbock, with Ben’s dad.”
“Really.”
“Yes, really, I have an office and everything. It’s working out great.”
He grunted. “That’s quite the drive you have every day, Mr. Joss.”
“I know.” I smiled big at him, absolutely adoring him. “And your truck gets shitty gas mileage.”
“Best we get you somethin’ else to drive.”
“That’d be good.”
He was thinking about a lot of things. I could tell as all the emotions blew across his face. “So.” He cleared his throat, pulling me close again. “This is where you’re gonna be?”
“Yessir.” I sighed, my cheek against his chest. “If you still want me.”
He didn’t say a word for several minutes, so even though I was terrified at what I would see, I stepped out of the embrace and looked up at his face. His eyes were so dark, and he was just staring down at me.
“So do you… want me?”
“Do I want you?”
I waited breathlessly.
There was the heat of his breath on my face before he grabbed me and kissed me like he was a drowning man and I was the air he needed to breathe. One hand was in my hair, tangled deep as he tugged it gently back, his other sliding over my ass as he deepened the kiss, his mouth slanting over mine. It was ravenous, and as he pressed me tightly to his chest, I felt the shudder that tore through him.
“Please,” I begged him, tearing free, needing it to be clear between us, “can I stay?’
He lifted his face to the wind, and the breeze blew his hair back from his face. I watched him take a deep breath, and then he looked down at me hard. I lost myself in his eyes and heard the prayer in my head. Please give me this man. He should be mine. I don’t deserve him, it’s true; I’ve messed up a million times, and I’ve broken my share of hearts. But I know the real thing when I see it, and this is it. Give me the real one. Give me the man I’m going to keep forever.
And then suddenly he smiled, and it was a good one. It lit his eyes and took my breath away. “Oh, you’re staying.” He beamed down at me. “You think I’m lettin’ you off this ranch a second time? You’re mine, you belong to me, and that’s how it’s gonna be, ’cause I ain’t fixin’ to worry about this no more. We’re done with you bein’ anywhere but right there with me.”
I watched the relief as it washed over his face, saw it lower his shoulders, smooth out his entire stance. He looked, finally, relaxed, at ease for the first time in all the years I had known him.
“Go get in my truck, and I’ll drive this one in.”
I bolted for the other truck only to be grabbed and yanked back into the man’s arms. “What?”
He just waited.
And it came to me, what he needed. “I love you, Rand.”
“I love you, Stef.”
I arched an eyebrow for him, and he rolled his eyes before he shoved me away. I laughed all the way over to the truck.
He made driving the truck and trailer look really easy. I was scowling when he made it back up to the house from where he had parked it. His knowing smile was not to be missed.
“You’ll practice,” he said as he came up the steps.
“Like it’s a skill I need to have on my resume,” I said irritably, walking into the house, letting the screen door bang shut behind me.
The squeak came a second time, and he was suddenly all over me, grabbing me tight, lifting me to press against his chest. I wrapped him up in my arms and legs, taking the black cowboy hat off and putting it on my head as he carried me up the stairs, his hands cupping my ass.
“I’ll get you a hat,” he said. “It looks good on you with all that pretty blond hair you got.”
“You just like it because it’s your hat on my head, Holloway. It’s that simple.”
He growled, leaning in, bumping my chin with his nose so I had to let my head fall back to give him access to my throat.
I smiled as he licked and bit down my neck, loving how possessive he was, how he needed to mark me. I kissed his eyes, his face, his temple, his chin, his throat, and finally his mouth. His smile fired his eyes, and I did not miss the fact that he couldn’t seem to stop.
When I squirmed free, I backed him up against the wall and made quick work of his belt buckle, snap, and zipper. The cock I released was hard, already leaking, and a beautiful sight to behold. I traced the vein on the side with my tongue, licking, kissing, and breathing in the scent that was Rand’s alone, spicy, like smoke and rain mixed together.
“God, Stef, don’t… tease, just… oh.”
For the teasing comment, I swallowed him down my throat. He moaned hoarsely as he bucked into my mouth. Pulling back, I laved the length of him, making him slick with saliva before sucking faster and harder, missing no part of him.
“Stef… I can’t… stand,” he barely got out. “I’m gonna come if you don’t stop.”
I wrapped my slick hand around his penis and jerked him off while my mouth did wicked things to the flared, throbbing head.
“Fuck,” he roared, grabbing me, lifting me up in one fluid movement and hurling me down onto the bed.
I watched the quick striptease, unable to tear my eyes away from each glimpse of golden skin and rippling muscles that he uncovered. Every inch of the man was gorgeous, and now he belonged only to me.
With a growl, he came down on top of me, and I was very pleased to have caused such a violent, visceral reaction. I made him crazy, and that was very good.
“Get your clothes off and wrap your legs around me.”
I made quick work of my jeans and T-shirt, and in seconds I was naked under the man of my dreams. I watched him squeeze lube into his palm, and seconds later a finger slid between my asscheeks. Instantly, I pressed back, wanting more.
“Don’t do that,” he cautioned me, “unless you want another.”
“Please.”
He caught his breath as he added two more fingers to my quivering, needy hole, and groaned as I pleasured myself on them.
“Jesus, Stef,” he groaned. “You’re so beautiful.”
“Show me.”
“Shit… it ain’t gonna be… it can’t be—”
“Slow?” I asked him, smiling playfully.
“Yeah, I can’t—I missed you, and—”
“I got it, cowboy,” I told him, my eyes narrowed in half. “Fuck me through the mattress.”
He let out a low, primal groan before he withdrew his fingers and gripped my thighs as he parted them, lifting my knees up over his arms, angling me against him.
I felt the head of his shaft against my passage for a second before he buried himself inside me deep and hard. Arching up off the bed at the same time he pounded down into me, I had him farther inside than ever before.
“Fuck, Stef!”
I clutched at him with arms and legs as he plunged in and out of my body, bent over me, one hand fisted on my cock. He supported all his weight on his other as he thrust into me, shifting his angle so he slid over my prostate with each new lunge.
There was no other way for me to show him how I felt about him, how much I craved him, how I needed him, how much I loved him and wanted to be with him always. Words were meaningless in the face of passion.
“Christ, Stef, you feel so good.”
He was filling me, stretching me as most other men could not, his thick shaft causing my muscles to grip him tightly. The hammering thrusts built heat inside me, sizzling up my spine until I was ready to explode.
“Come for me, Stef,” he whispered into my ear, his breath wet and hot.
I yelled myself hoarse when my back bowed, and just for a second, I thought I’d died before euphoria infused every cell of my body. My shuddering orgasm, my muscles bearing down on him, clenching tightly, proved more than he could take. He thrust to the hilt one final time, and I felt liquid heat fill me, overflow me, and run down the crease of my ass. He collapsed on top of me, pressing me down into the bed.
“Kiss me.”
The demand made, I lifted my head for his blistering kiss. He bit and sucked and devoured my mouth, his tongue tangling with mine as I returned all the heat I was given. In me, he did not have a passive partner, and I could tell he loved it.
“You were made just for me,” he said, leaning back and panting, staring down into my face. “Only for me… this is gonna be a forever thing, Stef, me and you.”
“Me and you,” I agreed, offering up my heart to him. “I’m not gonna run away. I don’t want to. I’ll stay as long as you want me.”
“Then you’re done, ’cause like I said—I want the forever.”
“I’ll try not to make you crazy.”
“Don’t do that,” he said, rolling off of me, pulling me sideways into his arms. “I don’t want you to change. I like you just how you are.”
“I love the ranch, Rand,” I said, coiling around him.
“I know you do,” he said, holding me tight, close to his heart. “It’s one of the many reasons I can’t live without you.”
His words, his actions, filled me with peace. It was so good to be home.
Exclusive Excerpt
Two years after riding off into the sunset with ranch owner Rand Holloway, Stefan Joss has made a tentative peace with his new life, teaching at a community college. But the course of true love never does run smooth. Rand wants him home on the ranch; Stef wants an exit strategy in case Rand ever decides to throw him out. Finally, after recognizing how unfair he’s being, Stef makes a commitment, and Rand is over the moon.
When Stef gets the chance to prove his devotion, he doesn’t hesitate—despite the risk to his health—and Rand takes the opportunity to show everyone that sometimes life’s best surprises come after the sunset.
Coming Soon to
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
Chapter 1
EVEN THOUGH it was late for it, just after seven, I had stopped at the local market to pick up groceries on the way back t
o the ranch. I wanted to surprise Rand when he got home, with me being there and with dinner. Originally I had told him that I would have to stay late for a department meeting, but it had been cancelled, and instead of going for drinks with the others, I bailed. Even after two years, I still got excited at the thought of going home and being there when the man I loved walked through the door at the end of the day.
So since I had decided to cook, I had to stop and pick up supplies, and I was standing in the checkout line when Mrs. Rawley, who owned the store, came out of the back to see me. It was nice of her to make the effort.
In the small community of Winston, where her store was, the people were divided between those who didn’t give a damn that I was gay and lived with my boyfriend, rancher Rand Holloway, owner of the Red Diamond, and those who were vocally and adamantly opposed to the idea. And while those who whispered when I walked by, muttered under their breath, or tossed off slurs when my back was turned were in the minority, there were still enough sprinkled around town to make me conscious of where I chose to conduct my business and spend my money.
After so long, I knew where I would and would not be accepted, but now and then, people still surprised me. What was nice was that more often than not, someone who I thought was just waiting to do or say something hateful or snarky was actually just looking for the opportunity to offer a warm handshake or a smile.
“Can I have Parker carry that out to the car for you, Stef?” Mrs. Rawley offered.
“I was gonna ask,” Donna said, clearly exasperated. “For crap’s sake, Mama, I wasn’t raised in a barn.”
I enjoyed the mother-daughter interaction, which was mostly exasperated and sarcastic. “I’m good,” I told Mrs. Rawley. “Be nice to your kid.”
“Thank you,” Donna snapped.
“Respect your mother,” I said, grabbing my bags.
“What he said,” she shot back at her eighteen-year-old as I left with the jingle of bells at the front door.
As I started toward my car, my snazzy red-and-black MINI Cooper, I saw the police cruiser parked beside me and the SUV that had me blocked in.
