by Lori Wick
Jordan’s glance flickered back to Holly’s face, and the unreadable look she sported made him drop his hands as though he’d been burned. Holly felt bereft at the loss of his touch.
“I’ll see you when I get back,” Jordan’s voice was now stiff. Holly didn’t move a muscle as she watched his tall, lean form walk away. Only minutes passed before she heard the beat of his horse’s hooves as he rode from the stable yard.
Her hands came to her arms then, touching herself in the place where his hands had lain. Holly’s heart could have easily left reality and gone into dreams over the words Jordan had said, and the look she’d seen in his eyes, but she swiftly reined in her thoughts.
He’s in love with Sunny,she reminded herself,and all thf hoping in the world is not going to change et thing. If you let your heart stray, you’ll only hurt more than you do ryjht now.
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sunny and holly listened with rapt attention to Rand and Chelsea’s details of their trip. They had gone north to stay with old family friends, Lord Philip and Lady Denise Briton, whose hospitality and estate size worked together to allow one to lose oneself figuratively, sometimes literally. Rand and Chelsea had slept late, enjoyed leisurely teas, gone horseback riding, and wandered the area in restful peace and comfort. The Britons were often away from home, but hospitality was always extended at their front door.
Rand and Chelsea looked very relaxed when they returned, and didn’t appear to want to move an inch from the upstairs salon, not even when Binks announced that Holly had a visitor. Sunny was not at all sorry to have Rand and Chelsea to herself for a moment, and as she began to pace just a bit, they both stared at her.
“Did something happen that upset you while we were gone?** Chelsea wanted to know.
“Not really, but I want to talk to you, and I don’t know how to start.**
Rand felt a bit alarmed. If he didn’t know better he would have said she was planning yet another scheme. Sunny had done nothing of the sort since she’d come to Christ, and even though she was as lively and fan-loving as ever, the frantic search for happiness was gone. Rand hoped it would stay that way.
“Actually, it’s about my birthday present,” Sunny finally said.
Rand found himself relaxing; birthday gifts he could handle.
“Your birthdayiscoming up,” Chelsea encouraged her. “Did you have something special in mind?”
“Yes,** Sunny answered with a smile. **I wish for your blessing, because I want to move into Ravenscroft.**
If Sunny had told them she had eloped while they had been away, she couldn’t have shocked them more.
“If I don’t have your blessing, I won’t go, but I hope you’ll hear me out.** Sunny waited for her brother’s nod before continuing.
“I tell in love with Ravenscroft the first time I saw it, and I think it would suit me very well. I probably feel that way because Grandmama Sunny and I are alike. I can’t really explain it beyond that, except to say that Ravenscroft has utterly captured my fancy.”
Sunny’s eyes were shining with such peace and warmth that Rand and Chelsea could only stare at her. Chelsea knew at that moment that she had never really faced the fact that Sunny and Holly would move away someday. There were several points Chelsea could have raised in argument, but she didn’t really believe any of them herself. Rand, being the logical person that he was, spoke his very valid thoughts.
“You can’t live at Ravenscroft alone, Sunny.” Rand’s voice was regretful, and Chelsea knew he wanted to grant Sunny’s request. “Even if youVe a passel of servants around, youcannot^at 18 years old, go off and live alone.**
“IVe given that quite a bit of thought,” Sunny told him, still very much willing to bow to his judgment. “And if it*s all right with you, I’ll write Aunt Lucy and ask her to live with me. She’s a bit eccentric, but I do care for her. She and I have written to each other often, and the last time Holly and I were with her, she told us how much she would love to live in the country.**
Rand nodded slowly in thought. Aunt Lucy was the last person who would have come to his mind, but in some ways she was perfect for Sunny. In other ways…well, for the moment Rand’s mind refused to think on it.
“Write Aunt Lucy, Sunny, and see what she has to say. We’ll keep this quiet for the time being, but we’ll definitely move as far in that direction as we can go.”
Rand earned a huge hug from his sister and watched quietly as she dashed from the room. He stared at the closed portal until he felt his wife’s eyes on him.
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“I never really thought she’d move away.”
“Oh, Rand, I was just thinking that myself. Fm awfully glad I came home so rested, or Fd be bursting into tears.”
Rand stared at the drops pooling swiftly in her eyes. “It looks like it’s going to happen anyway.”
“I think you’re right,” Chelsea said with a sob. Thinking he might very well cry himself, Rand pulled her against his chest.
*
Sunny wasted no time in writing to Aunt Lucy, and everyone was a little surprised at how swiftly the plans moved. Sunny’s birthday passed in a flurry of preparation, for she was determined to be at Ravenscroft by Christmas. Brandon heard of her plans and came one afternoon. He saw Rand first, and the older man could see that the young duke was barely holding his temper in check.
“Aunt Lucy has the sense of a peahen, Rand. How in the world are they going to do on their own out there?**
“I don’t have many reservations, Hawk, and the ones I do have, I’ve discussed with Sunny. Remember, they’re not headed off into the hills.” Rand’s voice was dry on that note. “They’re very near the village and only 20 minutes from here or Bracken. Lucy is bringing a very loyal staff” with her, and I’ve just hired a man who will go to Ravenscroft as head of housekeeping. He also understands that he is to keep a careful eye on things, especially Sunny and Aunt Lucy.”
“I still don’t like it,” Brandon said firmly.
“What don’t you like?”
Both men turned to find Sunny in the doorway of the study. In her preoccupation she hadn’t realized anyone was inside and had opened the door without knocking. Brandon looked at her, his brows low, and when Sunny caught his look, she stiffened. She knew in that instant to what Brandon had been referring. He watched as her chin came into the air and she worked at controlling her own temper. She opted for retreat.
“I need a book, but I can come back later.”
“Don’t go,” Brandon said when she would have backed out of the room. “I want to have a word with you.”
“If by having a word,” Sunny told him directly, “you mean to tell me how foolish it is to move from Willows’ End, then you can hold your tongue. I don’t want to hear it.”
“Is that right?” Brandon’s voice had become smooth.
“Yes, it is.”
“Well, Iamgoing to have my say, Sunny, so you might as well come in and sit down.”
Sunny did as she was bade, barely aware of Rand’s heading for the door. He prayed that Brandon would not dig himself in too deeply and left them on their own.
“Aunt Lucy is a dear,” Brandon began without preamble and worked at keeping his voice level. “But she is also very absentminded.”
“What does that have to do with our living together?” Sunny wanted to know.
“It’s not just Aunt Lucy; it’s the entire situation. You haven’t pulled one of your schemes in a long time and…” Brandon went on relentlessly telling her why he was opposed to the move. Sunny was left with no doubts that he was very much against it. In his mind Sunny was much too independent, and this move was only encouraging her to be more so. It took some time for him to see that she was just as upset as he was.
Brandon brought his tirade to an abrupt halt. How in the world had he actually thought to reach her by scolding her? Her eyes were shooting purple sparks, and Brandon knew that he’d lost her for the moment. Before he could make amends, she
stood, her gestures very final.
“I can see that some things never change.” Sunny’s hurt over his words had turned to fiery wrath. “I’m still a child in your eyes, a baby sister to be exact. You’re very used to getting your way, Brandon, but this time you’re about to be disappointed. Iammoving to Ravenscroft, whether you like it or not.”
She swept from the room on those words, and Brandon was left alone, calling himself every class of fool. He decided against searching her out right then and walked to the stables with a thoughtful heart. His ride back to Bracken was made while talking over his dilemma with the Lord.
“So when is the big move?” Jordan asked Sunny on his return from London, as he tried not to look across the room at Holly. The three of them had been talking, and between Sunny and himself alt
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was fine. Holly, on the other hand, was a different person.
She was kind, but there was no spontaneity left within her. She seemed to measure every word before speaking, and Jordan felt something akintogrief over the changes he saw. He couldn’t help but wonder if the changes were on account of him. He rather hoped to get her alone and find out, but Sunny, in her excitement, felled to notice any underlying signs of strain.
“Aunt Lucy is coming next week, the day after I go,” Sunny chattered on. “I’m still sorting and packing. I can’t believe how much I like to save things. I found treasures I hadn’t seen in years.”
Jordan listened with only half an ear. He chanced a glance in Holly’s direction, but she didn’t notice. He was very relieved when Wilson, the man Rand had hired to go with Sunny to Ravenscroft, interrupted them, asking for Sunny’s assistance. Jordan saw it as an opportunity to talk with Holly, but turned to find her slipping out of the room. He was fest on her heels, but not fast enough-the entryay was empty. He wondered how she could disappear so swiftly and understood how deliberate such a move had been on her part.
Jordan could still hear Wilson speaking with Sunny, so he decided not to disturb them. With rather slow steps and a heavy heart Jordan made his way to the stables. He would have been greatly encouraged if he had chanced to look up toward Holly’s bedroom window. He would have caught her watching his departure with studied concentration.
*
Wilson exited after just a few minutes of conversation with his mistress, and Sunny stood staring down at the place where he had stood. She was still deciding if she liked the man. His clean-shaven, nondescript face was familiar somehow, but Sunny was certain she had never seen him before. He was always the soul of respect, and she had to admit that his help in going to Ravenscroft had been invaluable, but the feeling that he watched her constantly was always at the edge of Sunny’s mind. She never actually caught him in the act, but nevertheless the feeling lingered.
She glanced down at the papers and fabrics he had handed her, and in an instant all thoughts of discomfort evaporated. They were swatches from the curtains, wallpaper, and bed hangings to her bedroom, the last room to be renovated and redecorated. Sunny suddenly
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found herself wishing that Aunt Lucy were coming before next week.Calm dawn,she told herself.You’re to be content r&fa where you tire. After all, you’ve only a few days to wait before you can call Ravenscroft your home.
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283UI can’t understand why it upsets you so much.” Sunny was remembering Rand’s calm words.
“He treats me like a child,” Sunny had insisted, but Rand had not looked convinced.
“From what you told me, he only voiced the same concerns I did, and you had no problem taking it from me.”
Tou betd no problem taking it from me.
The words echoed in Sunny’s mind again and again. It had been a poorly planned conversation, occurring the day before she moved from Willows’ End. The exchange had put something of a blot on her departure, but when Rand asked her if she had heard from Brandon since that day in the library, all her old anger bubbled to the surface.
Now, sleep eluding her, she lay in her bed at Ravenscroft and recounted the entire conversation in her mind.
“Why, Sunny? Why does it make you so furious when Brandon treats you like a child? Chelsea and I do often enough, but you never react like this.”
“I don’t know,” Sunny admitted.al guess I’d like him to see me as a woman, but every time we’re together I do something he disapproves of, or I end up looking like a child.”
“I disagree. I don’t think you act any differently around Brandon than anyone else, but for some reason, you can’t handle his reaction to you.**
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You’re getting at something, Rand.” Sunny was very alert and slightly suspicious.
“I guess I am.”
Neither one of them spoke for some minutes, and Sunny, knowing that Rand had accurately read her, decided there was no point in holding her secret any longer.
“It’s not going to change a thing to say it aloud, but it is as you suspect-Fve loved Brandon for as long as I can remember. But as I said, my admitting it changes nothing. He sees me as little more than a sister, and a young one at that.”
“You’ve never said anything or let on in any way.” Even though Rand had suspected that Sunny’s love for Brandon was more than familial, he was quite surprised at her admission.
“No, I guess I haven’t. I’m learning to share my feelings, but it doesn’t come easily for me. Please don’t misunderstand me, Rand. I wasn’t devastated when his engagement to Dinah was announced, but something in me hurt and I couldn’t figure out what it was. I was very upset for Brandon when they dissolved their engagement, but at the same time, I couldn’t believe the relief inside of me. Knowing that he was so hurt, I felt deep guilt over my relief.”
Sunny could not know that she had shocked Rand into silence. He had hoped that his questions would spur her to examine her feelings, but he was not prepared for just how much she had already done this.
“Should he ever find out, Rand,” Sunny went on resignedly, “it would destroy all we’ve shared through the years. I love Brandon like I love no one else, but I love him enoughnotto have him. Does that make sense to you? I love him enough to let him be my big brother for all time. I had been dealing fairly well with all of this before I accepted Jesus Christ, but afterward, when I felt at the end of my tether, Christ gave me the strength to carry on.
**I have no expectations for the future, but one thing I know won’t change: My love for Brandon gives him a power of which he is unaware-the power to hurt me. His opinion means so much. That’s why I react the way I do. I don’t always escape without sin, but God is getting me beyond that, and He’s always waiting to hear my voice when Brandon and I have had a confrontation.”
Sunny did not know that her every word, even the tone of her voice, confirmed to Rand his decision to let her move. She had truly
become a godly, wise young woman; a woman who accepted her situation and trusted God when she knew pain.
As he hugged his precious sister, Rand realized he could change everything for her and Brandon with just a few well-placed words. As soon as the thought surfaced, another one followed, and that was that he must allow Brandon and Sunny to work this out for themselves. Feelings were tender things, and knowing the way Brandon felt, Rand was certain he would someday make himself understood.
For the present, however, Sunny was losing a night’s sleep because of worry and pain. Rising from her bed, Sunny lit the lantern and turned in her Bible to the Psalms. She loved the verses in Psalm 119, especially verses 57 through 64, and began reading them sofUy to herself:
“Thou art my portion, O Lord; I have said that I would keep thy words. I entreated thy favor with my whole heart; be merciful unto me according to thy word. I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimo
nies. I made haste, and delayed not to keep thy commandments. The bands of the wicked have robbed me, but I have not forgotten thy law. At midnight I will rise to give thanks unto thee because of thy righteous judgments. I am a companion of all them who fear thee, and of them that keep thy precepts. The earth, O Lord, is full of thy mercy; teach me thy statutes.”
Sunny smiled ironically at the verse that spoke of midnight. “I’m not awake at this time of night to give You praise, Lord, as I should, but I’m up to fret and hurt. Please comfort my heart. Thank You for Your mercy, Your lovingkindness. I feel relieved that Brandon will be away and not at Willows’ End for Christmas. But I can’t live my life that way. Change me, Lord. Pour Your grace upon me and help me to trust You for the future.”
Sunny closed her Bible and blew the lantern out. She settled back against her pillows and continued to pray. It was still some minutes, but in time she prayed herself into peaceful sleep.
“How did you sleep, my dear?” Aunt Lucy asked over breakfast. “Actually I was a bit wakeful. How was your night?” As sometimes was the case, Aunt Lucy was quite lucid this morning. She ignored the question about herself, her face showing greater concern for Sunny’s welfare.
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“Was it a worry of some kind, my dear? If there is something I can do, you know I’d be more than happy.”
“Thank you, Aunt Lucy,” Sunny replied sincerely. She had truly come to care for this woman in the few weeks they had lived together. “But I’m fine. I’ll lie down this afternoon if I’m feeling weary.**
“A very sensible idea, my dear. TUdy and I are going to work on my papers. IVe decided to write a book.**
“A book?” Sunny stopped with her fork halfway to her mouth.
“Yes, a book.** Aunt Lucy looked triumphant. “IVe led an interesting life, and I think it only fair, since I’ve been so blessed, that I share my adventures on paper with any and all.”
Thinking what a wonderful winter project writing a book would be for her, Sunny smiled. It had been on her mind that Aunt Lucy might feel a bit shut in until spring, but this was going to be perfect.
