by Dela
“I want to move here to be with you.”
He opened his eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, but I need my own place so I don’t feel like I’m rushing into things.”
“Yes, of course.” His grin was contagious, and we made nice, normal love.
Later that afternoon, I kissed him at the airport. His kiss fueled me like the ammo I needed going onto a plane loaded with a man named Kendal. There was no knowing what Kendal would come at me with. I knew him to be charming and funny, and I couldn’t have that sway me. I was with Colby. I loved Colby.
I remembered all the reasons Colby and I were together and paced myself to the gate, locked and loaded.
Chapter Ten
Kendal
Daniela decided to go with me to the grocery store in the rain.
“Go grab an umbrella, sweetie.” She ran off and came back skipping with her Hello Kitty umbrella.
“Kitty,” she said excitedly.
“All we need is BBQ sauce and some veggies to go in our salad. Ooh, and cranberries, too,” Gizelle said, handing me the keys to her white Mercedes. It had Daniela’s car seat in it.
“We’ll be back soon.”
Daniela’s excitement to use her pink umbrella for the short walk inside the store was too much, and I laughed. She rode my shoulders to the sauce aisle first, then when we got to the produce section she wanted to get down and run around. I was checking the cranberries for mold when I thought it would be a good idea to check on Daniela. As I turned around my body jolted still with disbelief.
My eyes swept across a ghost from my past, only her eyes were darker with makeup and her lips were stained red from old lipstick. She was more grown-up and stunning . . . and in the flesh. I blinked again, wondering if she was real.
“Brooke?”
My heart ached more than I’d imagined. I wanted to swoop her into my arms and say ‘I found you,’ but Daniela was watching, and it had been seven years. What if she was married? I glanced to her ring finger and the knot in my chest loosened when I found a ringless finger.
I asked her out. Visiting and already had a dinner arrangement? She was definitely seeing someone, and all the sickness I felt washed back in with jealousy.
Jessie? Jessie.
I felt my flat smile tweak up with the pleasure of knowing her name. She was more beautiful than I imagined. She slimmed since her cheerleading days, and her hair hung long down her back, maybe more blonde at the tips. I liked women with long hair, and when she walked away, I wanted to run my fingers through it and pull her back to me.
I stared at her as she walked away in those sexy heels until I could no longer see her. If she did pursue a career in education and was a teacher, I was jealous of her students. She looked naughty and I wanted so badly to put her in detention. I was imagining slapping her ass with a ruler when Daniela, who was still holding my hand, started fidgeting and brought me out of my dream. I adjusted the sudden tightness in my pants and we left to pay for our stuff.
Back at Gizelle’s, I offered to barbeque the chicken. I needed to be productive, and get my dirty thoughts off Jessie. Jessie. I sighed. Even after all these years it felt good knowing my vixen’s name. As I flipped the breasts, breasts? Those damn breasts of hers were perfect under her shirt . . . dammit Kendal. I breathed in. Okay, productive wasn’t working. I pulled out my phone and checked my email. I sorted through the junk and found ten emails from my secretary. I’d reply to them later. The chicken was almost done.
After I piled the perfected breasts, I didn’t think Jessie’s breasts could get any more perfect . . . no! Stop it Kendal. I grunted pathetically and sauntered inside feeling emptier and more pathetic than before.
Jessie?
Jessie was here, in Gizelle’s kitchen. I froze. She was dolled up, her lips on fire with a hot pinkness as her eyes burned into me with a smoldered smokiness. But underneath the makeup, I noticed those doe-eyes were just as shocked as mine. When I realized my hand holding the plate was shaking, I walked closer to her and her other arrangement and sat it down on the counter. I was paralyzed and couldn’t crack the frozenness of my eyes. Wait a minute, did that white man with a small afro just say girlfriend?
I felt sick. What I wanted to ask Jessie was how come she never sought me out after Whistler? After father’s death, the media clearly gave my identity away. She could have come find me. But why didn’t she? Now I was angry, and even more than that, jealous. She was my doe. Hold up. Lankershim? Doe lives down the street from me? Okay, maybe dinner was going to be more interesting.
I could barely chew on my chicken. Jessie had a homeless shelter, a real place where she could help people, and she gave it up to teach? Wait, why did Colby have to respond for her? And why was his hand touching her leg under the table?
How come every time I brought up the past everyone acted strange? Nobody wanted to tell me? Cool. I’ll play this game. What’s that Jessie, you’re moving to Portland? Take this.
“Gizelle, Austin, I should have my place done in a few months,” I said, secretly pleased at her despising me in this moment, even if it meant I just did what I hadn’t done in years. I took a whim. I had no plans to move into that house. I bought it because it was a good investment. Now, I had every intention of moving into that house, and as quickly as possible.
I glanced at Daniela. Her cheeks were round with a large, protruding smile. I had to follow through with remodeling the house now. Just one whim, I told myself cautiously. Just one large whim that gets me Jessie.
“Oh, so you live in resorts? That must be so lonely being there all alone,” her tone was harsh, but her bottom lip pouted out and all I could think of was biting my teeth around it.
It angered me that I wanted her bad, and it angered me that she threw in the commitment card, making fun of me for being single. I bared my teeth to let off some steam. She didn’t know me. It’s been years, seven long years of loneliness because of her. I was never able to get her out of my mind and because of that, I never truly enjoyed being single. I also never wanted to share my bed with anyone. Play in it, yes; but share it? No. Never.
I kept my face hard, not showing any signs of hurt.
“I’m not in the habit of sharing,” I said coldly.
Just then Jessie’s eyes bulged as I sparked a memory we once made into her mind. Oh yeah, remember? I don’t like to share my hot chocolate, what makes you think I like to share my bed? Her face turned pale.
When she stepped away to use the bathroom I asked, “When is Jessie flying back to L.A.?”
“She leaves Sunday at five,” Colby answered.
I was about to make this ironic, and pull the same stunt I did back in Whistler. “Which airline?” I asked nonchalantly. Gizelle watched me strangely. She knew I always took my private jet everywhere now.
“Delta,” he said.
It was too easy, and I chuckled with the secret lie I was about to say. “Me too.”
Austin was about to open his mouth, I wasn’t even supposed to leave until Tuesday, but Gizelle rested her hand on his arm. He looked to her confused as she swayed her head. Austin looked back to me with a curious expression.
When Jessie returned, she didn’t look too happy with our flight arrangement. Actually, her unapproving eyes furrowed with suspicion. After she left with Colby, I went back to the kitchen to clean up.
“What was that?” Gizelle asked. “You’re not supposed to leave until Tuesday.”
“Gizelle, that’s Brooke.”
Shock swiftly habited her petite features. “What?”
“I ran into her at the grocery store right before dinner. I asked her out but she said she had other dinner arrangements.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“Kidding what?” Austin walked in with an empty plate of chicken juices and sat it down in the sink.
Gizelle whipped around. “Jessie is Brooke.”
“What?”
“Jessie is the girl I met in Whistler,” I sta
ted.
He stood for a moment and shook his head. Cue the eye squinting. He did this when he seemed to get confused. “What? How? I thought you couldn’t find her.”
“I couldn’t. I tried.” I felt a pang of despair wash over me, as if my knees would give out, so I sat at the bar. “The wedding party used false names to book their reservations.”
“I’m sorry bro. This sucks major balls,” Austin said.
“Austin!” Gizelle whispered, a bit loudly.
“It’s not like she’s married, though. How long have they been dating?” I wondered, a surge of strength suddenly rippling through my aching.
“About two years,” he said.
As I sat thinking about how drastically my life had changed now that Bubblegum was back in it, Gizelle’s breath halted. “No, no, no, Kendal. Whatever you are thinking, stop it. She’s taken. You can’t ruin Colby’s relationship.”
“Gizelle, what the hell do you propose I do? This is the girl I’ve thought about every day of my life since the day I lost her . . . since the day we lost dad!” I said. “And it’s not like I have a lot of time. I’m almost thirty-three.”
She shut the fridge and turned, and I realized I said too much noticing the tears forming in her eyes. “Bull.”
“Bull?”
“That is the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever heard.” She threw her hands up. “You know what? I’m not going to pretend I don’t know what you do in your free time. I know you sleep around, maybe not every night, but you have more one-night stands than any man I’ve ever heard of. So don’t sit here and tell me that you can’t breathe without this woman. And you’ve had plenty of time to find someone. You are not good for her.”
“Gizelle,” Austin said, his hand gently touching her shaking arms.
I stood. “No, Austin, let her finish. Why am I not good enough for her?”
She was shaking, tears forming. “No, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.”
“Gizelle, why aren’t I good enough for her? What have I ever done to make you think that?” I asked, my heart crushing from the weight my own sister was putting on.
She quivered and covered her face with her hands. “You don’t treat women good, okay? There, I said it.”
Austin put his arms around her. She sank her face into his shoulder and whimpered some more. I watched, scared. How on earth did I make my sister cry, or make her think that way of me? It killed me, but worse, it hurt more than anything to think I wasn’t worthy of a girl like Jessie.
My voice cracked as it squeezed to escape my throat. “Gizelle, what have I ever done?”
“Nothing, man,” Austin said. “I think Gizelle is just trying to protect Jessie, that’s all.”
“Protect her from what?”
It was Austin who suddenly looked uncomfortable, and I knew I wouldn’t stop until I got answers. “Protect her from what, Austin?” I asked louder.
Gizelle was quiet but still sniffed on occasion. Austin looked away and rubbed her arm. The strangeness I felt in the air crept into my skin. “Protect her from what?” I repeated sternly. “From Colby?”
“Gosh, no,” Gizelle spat out through Austin’s shoulder. She veered away from him and faced me. “Jessie met Colby under the most unfortunate circumstances. He was there for her, helped her through a lot of pain. He treats women well. He treats her well.”
My anger recoiled and a lump formed in my throat, causing me to feel more scared and confused than ever. “What happened to her?”
Austin and Gizelle looked into each other’s eyes, speaking to one another in a silent language as only couples could do, then they nodded and looked right at me.
“Colby found Jessie in an alley in California.” Austin paused, making sure to squeeze Gizelle’s shoulder tighter, and then spoke with hesitation. “There was a man Jessie used to take care of a lot at her homeless shelter. On occasion she would see him hidden in the dark alley behind their building talking to himself. She would coax him out of there and bring him inside. One night she saw him in the alley . . . and . . .”
My eyes burned, my heart pounded, my stomach was warm with sickness.
Austin looked away as if he was disgusted to finish. “And he tried to rape her. Colby was depositing some checks at an ATM nearby when he heard her scream. By the time he found her . . . ”
“Was it too late?” I asked, anger spilling through my voice.
“No, Colby got there in time. But she was hurt pretty bad, nearly naked.”
I couldn’t breathe and my body didn’t know what to do next. I fell back into the seat, shaking with anxiety. Vixen, my vulnerable doe, hurt and broken. And it was Colby who repaired her. Not me. I felt nauseous. And rage. I grabbed my keys and headed for the door.
“Where’re you going?” Gizelle asked.
“I need some time. I’ll be at the hotel. I’m sorry about earlier, but I have to leave on Sunday with Jessie. I need to do this. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
I couldn’t get Jessie, and now Colby, off my mind. I had a newfound respect for him, but at the same time, she was mine. How could I give her up when I knew this might be my last shot?
When I got back to the hotel there were two girls sitting in the lobby talking. I cursed under my breath, annoyed. I forgot about the call girls I ordered earlier. When they saw me, they shot up, adjusted their miniskirts, and walked over with coy smiles. I rubbed my palms down my face, exhausted from the day’s events, and turned right back around. I walked to the concierge desk and handed the employee some cash. “Call them a cab, please.”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Vargas.”
I threw the keys on a desk when I entered my penthouse suite and picked up the phone. “Yes, this is Kendal Vargas,” I said to the on-call travel agent. “Please cancel my jet for Tuesday and find me a commercial flight leaving to LAX tomorrow on Delta Air Lines. It leaves at five.”
She asked a few more questions, I answered them blankly. My mind spiraled out of control. Everything was a blur. I looked at the scotch when I hung up, but instead of filling a glass, I rubbed my eyes and moaned. Damn, this girl’s power over me gave me chills. I needed a drink to ease the tenseness, but couldn’t. I wanted to be sober. I wanted to be the type of man she deserved, so I fell onto the bed and fell asleep in pain.
When I woke I texted Gizelle.
What’s Jessie’s number?
Please don’t do anything stupid. She has a boyfriend. Promise me.
Jessie means more to me than you know. Please, Gizelle. And if it helps, I’m probably more scared than you are. I haven’t seen this girl in seven years.
I knew she was hesitant, because it never took her this long to respond, but eventually she did.
818-255-6504
Thank you. I’m calling the contractors to meet me at my house today. I’m starting renovations this week. Give Daniela my love.
Once the contractor was called, I showered and sent Jessie a message as I drove up to my new property. After last night, I had no choice but to make this my new house.
My phone buzzed moments later on the passenger seat. It was Jessie. I could sense her hostility in the text but it only made me more eager. I turned onto Royal Boulevard and drove through acres of woods before passing through a small, private gate. Up ahead, across a large pond, was my new estate, swallowed by the cedar and spruce forest. Gizelle told me once it reminded her of Mr. Darcy’s estate. I didn’t know who that was. Mine was an old resort, deserted when the recession hit. I bought it with the intention of turning it around into a house and reselling it since it was small enough. But now that Jessie was moving here, I decided it needed to be my place. It was too large for me, as Jessie pointed out—very lonely—but I didn’t let that bother me. I was excited to have a new project of worth. I pulled onto the loose gravel driveway and stepped out.
First I observed every structural issue that needed tending to: the roofing, the porches, and minor alterations on the framing; and then cosmetic things: the windows, the paint
color, the dock, the interior decorating. It was a large project that would take at least three months to complete. It bothered me, knowing that Jessie would be moving here way before that. Colby could propose by then . . . over my dead body.
The next day I threw on my old Stüssy shirt, packed my suitcase, and headed to the airport eagerly. I waited for Jessie at the gate, my stomach dropping when she showed.
“Good afternoon,” I said.
Her lips parted as she nervously brushed loose strands of hair behind an ear. “Before this happens I just have to say a couple of things.”
“Shoot.”
“One, you aren’t fooling me. I find it extremely hard to believe that a billionaire would chose to take a commercial flight over his private jet. I know you just bought your ticket to the same flight as mine.”
I opened my mouth to protest, I needed to remind her my money wasn’t me, but she raised her hand to silence me. I shut my trap and smiled.
“Two, this isn’t like before. I have a boyfriend now. You need to respect that.” She paused, watching me steadily with those brown eyes. “And three, it’s torturous to look at you when you look at me like that.”
“Like what?” I could feel my eyebrows pinching together innocently.
“That! Your eyebrows, they’re speaking to me. Just look at me normal.”
I withdrew the tension in my amused face and nodded. “Fair enough.” I looked at my ticket stub. “Which seat are you?”
She watched me suspiciously. “I’m in the back.”
“Me too. Let’s go.” She fixed the strap that sagged off her shoulder and we entered the plane.
I was two rows behind her on the other side of the aisle. I watched the empty seat near her anxiously. When the engines turned on and the doors closed I grabbed my bags and moved next to her.
“Your seat is back there,” she said, put off. It reminded me of how she was when we first met. I grinned anyways.
