by Dela
Heave, splatter. Gag, splatter.
My stomach cringed excessively, my body aching with all its might. And then a new explosion was about to come like a broken dam.
At the first sign I was done barfing, I hurriedly ran toward a bush in shivers and pulled down my pants.
“Kendal, where did you go?” Her voice cracked just as my body exploded.
I had no control in stopping it. It came like a damn waterfall and smelled so wretched my eyes watered. I just prayed she wouldn’t come looking for me. My body involuntarily cringed again. “I’m going to the bathroom. Be there in a minute.”
I’ve never been so grateful for a bush in my life. Then again, I’ve never picked leaves off a bush so fast in my life. I worked quickly, and to the best of my abilities with no light, wiped my butt raw. Better raw than kiblets lingering and smelling up the cab. Talk about killing my only shot with Jessie. Say gonzo to that inheritance.
I know it sounded horrible to say it like that. But I’d begun to think it didn’t mean anything to me when I felt Jessie was the girl for me. If Jessie wasn’t for me then nobody was. I’d rather let my inheritance go than pursue another girl.
Jessie was swishing water and spitting it in the dirt when I returned.
“Why’d you go so far? I wouldn’t have looked if you only turned your back,” she said.
I took a deep breath, being careful not to breathe on her. “I barfed, Jessie.”
“You did?”
“Yes, once I got whiff of yours. Just like last time.” I remembered it too well. No barf bag available, small airplane toilet. I quivered.
“Why did you go so far away to throw up?” She still looked confused.
“Because I also almost shit my pants, too.”
She choked on her swig of water, spitting out what was left in her mouth. “What?!”
“That’s why I went so far away. No one should have to see that.”
She shook her head. She reached into the truck and handed me a new water bottle. “You need this.” Then her eyes grazed to my butt. “I don’t know how I can help with that.”
I swooshed the clean fluid around and spit. “The sooner we get to Ashland the better. I reserved a room while you were sleeping.”
“Agreed.”
We decided it would be best to drive the rest of the way with both windows slightly cracked. It helped the stagnant, fleshy smell. And I couldn’t grapple with what just happened, so too embarrassed to say anything, I remained silent the rest of the way.
My empty stomach was feeling better but my bones ached as I pulled into the parking lot of the Marriott hotel. We parked far enough in the back so that we could clear two parking spaces with our long haul. At this point, we were both still choosing not to speak of our curbside incident. The move, the gas station’s food, the eleven-hour-plus drive; it all rocked us too hard, and we were dying to clean up and get in bed.
I hadn’t told Jessie yet that I got us our own rooms. She was leaning against the registration desk as if she had a just ran a marathon, but she seemed disappointed when she discovered she had her own room. Eventually she smiled once we were heading up the elevator. I wasn’t happy about it either, but I desperately wanted my own shower.
“I’m dying to shower.” She nearly cried from excitement as we walked down the hall side-by-side to our rooms on the tenth floor.
I pushed her door open, holding out one of the two room keys. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to hang onto the spare key in case of an emergency.”
“Emergency?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, in case you lose your key, or I need to rush in here for something.” I hadn’t meant that I would sneak into her room during the middle of the night. I meant it in a safety sense. What if someone broke into her room and I needed to barge in like some Marvel superhero? I shook my head, agreeing with myself. Yes, for safety purposes. “For safety purposes,” I reinstated out loud.
She watched me strangely and let out a breath. “You’re probably right.” She shifted her small bag to her other shoulder. “Thanks for the room, Kendal. And for loading my truck. And for driving me a ridiculous distance. I’ll never forget your generosity.”
“Of course. It was my pleasure.” I took a step back. “There’s no need to rush waking up tomorrow. I think we only have five hours or less until we get there.”
“Good, I’m exhausted.”
I took another step back. “Sleep safe.”
I watched her enter her room before going into mine and heading straight for the shower.
Chapter Fourteen
Jessie
I didn’t understand why Kendal had volunteered to help me until I looked down in the dark and saw our hands intertwined in the U-Haul. I gently placed my hand over his and leaned my head back. I didn’t feel bad for what I was doing. It felt right. More so than this move.
When Kendal pulled into the hotel, a treacherous feeling weaved into my settled stomach and whirled unnerving twitches throughout my core. For the last hour I mentally prepared myself with rules, but then I overheard Kendal tell the receptionist two rooms and my delusional balloon popped. My expression must have changed, because after taking a good, long look at me, Kendal was second-guessing his decision. I recovered with a grin.
Jessie, what are you doing? You’re moving to be with Colby!
“Good night, Jessie,” he said, stepping away from my door.
I wanted to rush toward him, slip my hands over his cheeks and kiss him like I’ve wanted to for seven years. Just to see, a mere test, why I felt this way. My body rattled down to my toes, but my fingers found the door instead and I walked inside alone.
I hopped into the shower and let hot water pour over my back until another part of my body grew cold and I adjusted to warm those other parts. I stayed there a while letting the heat melt me into a cozy sleepiness. It felt like two in the morning, but it was only ten.
As I stepped out shivering, my phone beeped on the bed. I ran the towel over my body quickly and rushed over to it with suspicions. Kendal . . .
Are you hungry?
I swore in the truck I wouldn’t eat until tomorrow morning but I wanted to see Kendal. And a hunger was arising, however subtle and small. I started typing then stopped and deleted it quickly. Who was I kidding? My gut still hadn’t quite recovered. And hello—Colby!
I think I could eat but I’d rather wait until tomorrow morning.
A sudden chill ran over my naked spine. I simply brushed through my hair and slipped on my satin nightgown. What I would give for my flannel pajamas right now—how stupid of me to pack them! I zipped up a fleece sweater instead and had made myself comfortable when someone knocked twice on the door.
It was ludicrous the way I flittered to the door like a lovesick loony, as if my rules didn’t exist. I peeped outside; Kendal was looking down at his clean cotton t-shirt and looked harmless. I hadn’t properly unlatched and opened the door all the way but he looked up, watching me peer from behind it with his bright green eyes.
I gulped with a hard blink wishing I hadn’t opened the door as I weakly gained my wavering focus back. My primeval moving buddy had gone and cleaned himself up like freaking Tarzan. His dark hair was clean and combed, as much as shaved hair could be. His face was freshly shaven, and I could see his sexy jawline, and oh-mother-of holy-smells he smelled fine, like I’m-gonna-swing-you-from-these-vines-in-the-jungle fine. It was just that clean hotel soap smell, but somehow his natural body gave off a far more enticing scent of air and musk and pine—okay he was full on fire, and he reminded me of how he was back in Whistler.
And I wanted him bad.
I glanced away before I gave myself away. I noticed his black bed pants, loose around his muscular legs, but tapered off around his ankles. His toes wiggled in their socks. I breathed in and looked up when his lips parted with a soft smile.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
I hesitated. I wasn’t exactly wearing clothes you talk in. “Sure, co
me in.”
I bit my tongue, frantically looking around as if I would find something else to wear. My choices were barf clothes or the clean pair for tomorrow. I wasn’t about to get back into the old ones, and not the new ones either, since I knew I’d only change out of them the minute Kendal left. So I settled for cover on the bed. Kendal was standing across the room, trying to control his stare as I slid underneath the sheets and crossed my legs.
“What’s up?” I asked. Dumb, Jessie! You just held his hand . . . and you liked it!
“Sorry about earlier. I made a bad decision with that old pizza.” He stepped to the bed and my chest tightened. “May I sit?”
I nodded feebly.
He kept his head down, looking at my hands folded on my lap as he sat. He didn’t speak at first. It made my mind race, and I didn’t want to think. I couldn’t, not when I was willing to make too many wrong decisions tonight. But how come they felt right? Kendal eventually pulled headphones from his pocket.
“Want to listen to some music? We can share the headphones like we did in the airport.”
Without thinking, I reached for his hand and pulled it into me. “Kendal, you didn’t come here to listen to music.”
“I know that Jessie.” He looked down at our touching hands and circled the pad of his thumb over the back of my hand. “But I want us to be right, whatever that is.”
“Right exists,” I assured.
“How?”
“I . . . I don’t know.”
He paused. His chest rose when he looked up at me, as if he would never see me again, and he rushed, “Jessie, do you still have feelings for me? If you tell me no I will shut up and never bring this up ever again. I swear.”
“Kendal, you know I can’t answer that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it doesn’t matter.”
He chuckled, part disbelief, part anger. “What do you mean it doesn’t matter? Your feelings don’t matter?”
“No, it’s Colby. I have feelings for him.”
“But I didn’t ask you about him. I asked you about me. Do you have feelings for me?” His body scooted closer, landing his face inches from mine. He planted his eyes on me with a patience I didn’t know he had.
When I didn’t answer right away his stillness started to crack and his breath slowed with defeat.
“Kendal . . .” I was going to say no, but that would be the lie of my lifetime. And I was worried I would lose him forever this time. And my body had never wanted anyone so bad. I’ve never felt this before, not even the first time with Colby. I squared my shoulders to hide my fear of what would happen after what I was about to say. I took a deep breath and steadied my eyes. “In the worst way.”
The sheets flew off me in an instant, too quickly to recover, and his body towered over me. Before I could speak his lips locked hungrily into mine. The reunion rushed a flood of memories too strong to ignore and my tight body softened, falling into a natural pattern, wanting to make love as I had once wanted back in Whistler. Before I could tug at his shirt his tongue entered my mouth and a small whimper unknowingly escaped my lips. He stopped abruptly, confused.
“What?” I panted.
“It’s you,” he smiled. “I only ever wanted it to be you. I don’t have to pretend anymore.”
I grabbed his cheeks and pulled him back into me, inhaling his breath as our lips collided. Kendal carefully shifted his weight and tugged away the extra pillows behind me. When I was flat on my back, he lowered his body onto mine, careful not to crush me with his weight. I was familiar with a man’s hardness, but this was Kendal Vargas—and he was pressing it against me with a small motion. I panted, my body turning uncontrollable. Without thinking I spread my legs, lifting them slightly as I arched my back.
Kendal kissed harder, sucking my lips with a subtle bite before moving away and sliding his tongue down my neck. He tilted to one side again, this time creating space between half of our bodies. I wondered what he was doing when his hand reached beneath my sweater and clasped my breast sending fire to my nerves. He squeezed it gently with a groan, moving his pelvis more. I moaned as a warmness smeared inside my underwear with every push. My hands flew to the fabric along my hips and struggled to pull it down.
Kendal grew busy unzipping my jacket. I let my underwear be and sat up as much as I could with him kneeling over me. I wiggled out of it when Kendal threw it to the floor and turned back in half a second. His stare on my nearly exposed chest lingered. I watched him, his fingers gently rubbing the thin straps that kept me covered. He looked up.
“Jessie, you’re beautiful,” he whispered.
I laid back down and stretched my arms over my head. I waited for him to move first, but when he didn’t, I propped up on my elbows.
“What’s wrong?”
“This isn’t right.” He moved to the edge of the bed and settled both feet on the floor. He rubbed his hands through his tousled hair and then leaned forward to rest his elbows on his legs. He cupped his face, shook his head, and spoke into his hands. “You need to end things with Colby.”
I leaned back against the headboard and took a deep breath. “I know that now.”
He stayed still for a moment too long, checked his watch and stood. “I should go.”
“What? No, don’t go.”
“I won’t have you do this to Colby. This was all my fault. I’m sorry.” He rushed to the door.
“Kendal, don’t leave me. We don’t have to do anything. Just lie with me. We can listen to music. That’s all. I swear.”
He shook his head. “I can’t. I want to be better than that. I want to be the kind of guy you deserve. And I don’t think it's the type that lies with someone else’s girlfriend.”
“You didn’t do anything. I’m giving you permission.”
“Jessie, I did. I knew exactly what I was doing when I knocked on your door.” He slouched his shoulders. “I’m too selfish. And now I’ve gotten you into trouble. Please forgive me.”
My satin nightie moved lightly as I moved over to him by the door and took a long stare into his eyes. “Okay. Whatever you need.”
“This isn’t for me, it’s for you. Can’t you see that? Jessie, if this is going to be right it needs to come from you. You need to make this happen.” He opened the door and turned the corner toward his room without another word.
I shut my door, confused and pissed. My panties were wet. I went to the bathroom and cleaned up as best I could. This was my only clean pair left.
I lazily walked back to bed and fell asleep, not bothering to text Colby to tell him I was here.
Knock.
Knock, knock.
“Jessie?” Kendal’s voice drifted from the door.
I rolled over and glanced at the clock. “It’s too early,” I called. It was just barely seven the next morning.
“Will you please open the door?”
“I’m not decent,” I moaned into my pillow.
“That didn’t stop you last night,” he muttered.
“No. You did.” I covered my head with the pillow. My head hurt as my actions last night clawed their way inside my brain and brought a rush of guilt. I’d have to face Colby today. I couldn’t imagine how he would feel.
“Please,” he said. Then he lowered his voice. “I’m getting looks out here.”
I hauled out of bed, snatched my jacket from the floor where Kendal had thrown it last night, and opened the door. Kendal rocketed in and shut the door behind him as I slid my arms through the sleeves.
“I thought you told me last night we could sleep in,” I said, laying back down on the bed.
He sat on the small chair at the desk. “I did, but I couldn’t sleep.”
“That’s not my problem.”
“Come on, are you really going to punish me for last night?”
I swallowed a curse rising to my lips then inhaled slowly. “No.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it,” he grinned. I rolled over with a grunt and sq
ueezed my head. “Are you alright?”
My heartbeat picked up. Reality inched its stupid self further into my heart. Oh gosh, I had to talk to Colby in a few hours. I would have to tell him the reason why I felt a break was needed. Did I even know I wanted to be with Kendal? I snuck a peek of him through my fingers. He was watching me with raised eyebrows. Yep, he was concerned.
Oh gosh, how did I look? My hands flung to the top of my head. Sweet-mother-of-all-things-breathing, what happened to my hair? I tried to smooth out kinks in certain places along the crown then quickly tried to untangle the knots at the ends.
“Are you?” he asked again.
I sat up and practically sang. “I’m great. Juuuust great.” My stomach cringed. It wasn’t the food that hurt it this time. It was the rotten truth . . . the truth that I cheated on him . . . the truth that I didn’t know which guy I wanted. And it was that I knew I had to do something because now I was the horrible cheater.
“Give me a moment,” I said, rushing to the bathroom to wet my face. I looked in the mirror. What did I just do? This was Colby. My Colby. He would never stay with me after this. I walked back into the room with a great amount of regret and shame.
“Jessie, when we get home I’m going to tell Gizelle and Austin that it was me who made a move on you. I’ll take the blame that way you can stay with Colby if you choose to.”
“What? Why would you do that?”
“Because I know what it’s like to be the one wanting the one-night stand. It doesn’t mean anything to you in the moment, right? I got your panties wet and you suddenly had to finish what I started.” He shook his head adamantly. “You love Colby. And I will never stand in the way of that again.”
