Impulse

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Impulse Page 19

by Vanessa Garden


  ‘Thank you for this,’ he said, playing with a stray lock of my hair and then stroking my cheek with his thumb.

  ‘But we don’t know if it will work.’

  ‘Yes, but at least it will buy us some time—months even—until I can figure out a way to fix everything that is wrong with Marin.’

  I nodded. ‘I just hope Lauren’s okay.’

  He frowned and sighed. ‘I should never have brought her to Marin.’

  ‘It’s not your fault.’ I reached up to stroke his cheek the way he was stroking mine, his unshaven face rough against my fingers. ‘She told me how she threatened to expose Marin to the world if you didn’t bring her,’ I said, shrugging. ‘So don’t feel bad.’

  A train of revellers danced their way between us, urging us to become links in their chain. Marko grinned, so I put my hands on the shoulders of the last girl and Marko held my hips as we moved along in a long winding trail. Then his strong hands were gone and I was spun around by a twenty-something guy who swept me into a springy sort of dance. A quick glance around and I discovered Marko dancing with a smiling, middle-aged red-haired woman. He shrugged and grinned over the tops of people’s heads at me. I grinned back. He was at his most beautiful when happy.

  My dancing partner twirled me around the fountain so many times I started to feel queasy and dizzy, so I sat the next dance out, resting on the stone ledge of the fountain. From there I watched Marko switch partners, the women fighting over who got to dance with him next. I could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to escape their clutches.

  ‘Miranda!’

  I waved back at Lily, who was dancing with Robbie several metres away. She whispered something in his ear and he waved me over, a huge smile on his face. But the crowd was too thick, and, when I got halfway across, a man whisked me away doing some kind of bouncy jig.

  By the time the dance ended, Lily and Robbie were gone, and I stood, in the middle of the revellers, searching for them. Just as a dark-haired woman seized me by the wrists and urged me to dance, I felt a gentle tug on my hair. I disengaged myself from the woman’s grasp before spinning around to find Marko standing there.

  ‘Finally,’ said Marko, taking my hand in his and drawing me away from the crowd. We climbed over the stone ledge of the fountain and ducked beneath its thin, watery veil. ‘I missed you so much,’ he said, beads of water dripping down his face.

  ‘Come here,’ I whispered, sliding my hands around his neck. ‘And I’ll show you how much I missed you.’ Before he had a chance to respond, I drew his head down and rose up on my tiptoes so that I could press my mouth to his.

  He groaned softly, in surprise and what I hoped was pleasure, as I moved my lips hungrily over his and slipped my tongue into his open mouth. I tugged his shirt from his trousers, so that I could feel the heat of his smooth skin beneath my fingers.

  The kiss intensified at my touch. Marko crushed me to him as his tongue tussled with mine, and his hands moved up and down my back, stroking me. I pressed my breasts against him and he moaned and kissed his way down to my neck, his ragged breaths making me wish we were alone and in my room.

  ‘We should stop,’ he whispered into my hair. ‘I don’t want to; but we should.’

  ‘Okay,’ I said, after I’d caught my breath.

  He straightened up but kept his hands on my waist.

  The way he was looking at me, through his lashes, made me want to kiss him all over again.

  ‘Stop looking at me like that,’ I said, over the sound of the fountain rushing. With the fountain drowning out the intense revelling going on all around us, it was as though Marko and I were safely cocooned in our own universe.

  ‘I want you, Miranda, like I’ve never wanted anyone before,’ he said, his eyes intense and his expression serious. ‘I want us to be together. Always.’

  ‘I feel the same.’

  He sighed and nuzzled my hair, sliding his hands down to my backside.

  ‘You feel wonderful, actually,’ he moaned, raining kisses down my neck and pressing me against him, hard. ‘And though I hate it, it’s probably a good thing we’re still sleeping in separate bedrooms. I don’t think I can control myself when I’m with you.’

  He drew away and kissed me lightly on the forehead. ‘I wish I could ask you something right now, but I can’t—’ He stared down at me, his chest rising and falling with rapid breaths. ‘Because I might scare you away if I do.’

  My heart hammered against my ribcage, and when he drew me in tight and squeezed my body close I could feel the thudding of his heart too. The cosy cocoon of the fountain, the sound of the rushing water, combined with Marko’s heady scent—which made my knees weak every time I breathed it in—made me want to stay there, in that moment, forever.

  ‘You can ask me anything,’ I whispered.

  He locked eyes with me—his desire-filled, the pupils dilated.

  ‘I want to,’ he said, ‘but I can’t; not yet.’

  I wanted him so badly in that moment that, if he had asked me to be with him, right there, I would have said yes.

  Marko stroked my hair, and I rested my head against his chest. His heartbeat was soothing, and I found myself yawning and feeling sleepy. We sat on the stone ledge and I lay my head on his lap, falling asleep to the comforting sound of the fountain, which was like falling rain.

  I woke to hear Marko’s voice vibrating through his chest. Robbie and Lily were with us beneath the fountain. I sat up and rubbed my face.

  Lily stood near the fringe of the fountain, her blonde hair raining down her back like a silvery waterfall. The white, floaty dress she wore made her look ethereal, like a beautiful water sprite.

  Leaving Marko and Robbie to their discussion, I got up and joined Lily. She turned and smiled.

  ‘Hi, Miranda,’ she said, her eyes sparkling with amusement. ‘We thought we’d lost you forever on the dance floor.’

  ‘I kept getting abducted by crazy dancers.’ I yawned. ‘I think that’s why I’m so tired.’

  She laughed, revealing perfect white teeth. It made me wonder if they had dentists down here.

  ‘You look happy,’ she said, with a knowing smile and a fleeting glance at Marko.

  I nodded. ‘I am happy; really happy, in fact.’ I elbowed her arm. ‘But you can talk. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful couple than you and Robbie.’

  ‘Thanks,’ she said, staring back at Robbie with a soft smile. ‘I have to agree with you there.’ She turned back to face me, her blue eyes widening slightly. ‘Do you think the moon will work?’

  ‘I hope so. Not just for the sake of babies but for Marko, too.’ I lowered my voice. ‘I’m worried it’s not going to work, and that Sylvia is going to punish Marko.’

  ‘Rumour is that Sylvia wanted your sister’s baby.’ Lily leaned in so that the boys couldn’t hear. ‘A guard overheard Sylvia and Damir make a deal.’

  ‘What sort of deal?’

  ‘Sylvia wanted a baby and Damir wanted to be king, so he could make as many mermaids as he likes. He wants to make an entire harem of mermaid wives—a city of mermaids, he said.’

  I shivered from head to toe and my stomach swirled like I was going to be sick.

  ‘What do you think will happen to Lauren once she has the baby?’ I put a hand to my mouth, fully realising the danger my sister was in.

  Lily gripped me by my shoulders, her fingers cool against my warm skin.

  ‘Lauren is safe while she’s with child. Don’t worry. We have plenty of time before the real danger starts.’

  ‘What if she never returns to Marin? What if she and Damir stay on land?’

  Lily snorted a laugh and let her hands drop to her sides. ‘Hardly; the man is obsessed with the ocean. He’ll return soon enough. Besides, the compulsion will bring them back, no matter what.’

  I ran a hand through my damp hair, my fingers catching at the knots.

  ‘If the moon works, then Sylvia can have her own baby and she’ll forget abo
ut Lauren’s.’

  Lily frowned and visibly shuddered. ‘Sylvia has always said that the only man she’d ever have babies with is Robbie. That he is the only physically perfect man in all of Marin.’

  ‘I remember thinking she had a thing for him, last year,’ I said, thinking aloud, but when I saw the look on Lily’s face I added quickly, ‘but I get a strong vibe that Robbie only regards her as a sister.’

  Lily shook her head. ‘I hate that she has power. I hate that she can threaten us with our lives, threaten Robbie and force him to—’

  ‘No way! Robbie would never agree to something like that.’

  ‘I know, I know. I’m being melodramatic,’ she said with a sigh, before looking at Robbie. ‘But I don’t want to lose him. He might be partially blind, but to me he’s perfect.’

  ‘I agree,’ I said, and added, grinning, ‘in a totally friendly, non-Sylvia-ish way.’

  Lily laughed, and the sound drew Marko and Robbie towards us.

  ‘Nice to hear conversation over cat scratches,’ said Robbie with a smile. ‘Last year you two hated each other.’

  Marko laughed and made a cat noise. ‘Shame, really; I love a good catfight.’

  Lily and I rolled eyes at each other. It was so nice to have a female friend—especially now that Lauren had turned on me.

  Lily seized my hand and looked at Marko. ‘Is it okay if I borrow Miranda for a while? I think she deserves some fun.’

  Marko put his arm around Robbie’s shoulder. ‘Should we let them?’

  ‘As long as they don’t break too many hearts out there,’ said Robbie, his face deadly serious.

  Lily playfully slapped his arm. ‘You can talk; what about that girl who kissed you half an hour ago?’

  ‘What?’ said Marko before punching Robbie on the arm.

  ‘The poor thing had to express her imploding inner joy somehow,’ Robbie said, shrugging.

  I laughed, my heart squeezing with absolute happiness to see Robbie and Marko behaving like best friends again.

  ‘Meet me at the base of the castle steps,’ said Marko, before planting a kiss on the back of my hand. His lips against my skin made me feel so hot I almost blurted, ‘I can’t wait!’ but I kept my cool. ‘Okay. See you there.’

  ‘Stay together,’ said Robbie, his expression serious and pained, as though he hated the idea of not having Lily within reach.

  ‘You, too,’ I said, looking at Marko. ‘Please stick together.’

  ‘Of course,’ he said, swinging his arm back around Robbie’s big shoulders.

  After kissing Robbie goodbye, Lily giggled and dragged me towards the watery veil.

  It was like passing through a portal from one world to another.

  Loud, insanely happy people crammed the streets and continued to honour Kraja’s moon by dancing around her. It was chaos. Lily and I tried to dance but we were wedged firmly in place between two women who looked like they were trying to perform the fertility dance but were too squished to do so.

  I stared up at the moon and shivered. Yes, it was a moon just like the one in the picture, and…maybe I was just being paranoid; but something about it just didn’t seem right.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  AS THE DAYS and then weeks passed, with no sign of Lauren or Damir or the monthly cycle, the city’s dizzyingly high hopes went on a downward spiral.

  People became snarky with one another. Arguments broke out easily. Women in the market stalls argued over simple things like the price of apples. Marko took this as a good sign. ‘Premenstrual tension?’ he said, with an awkward shrug.

  But when two months passed by without any reported bleeds, Marko turned quiet and meditative like me. He now knew the ‘fertility moon’, as it had come to be known, wasn’t working. He just needed to know why.

  Sometimes he would wake in the middle of the night, and I’d hear the whoosh of the door to his secret passageway.

  On one such night, after he’d been to stare at the drawings in the secret room, he came to me. Though it was well past midnight, I wasn’t asleep. Deep, restful sleep was a luxury I’d given up since the night Kraja first received her moon.

  The heavy question mark over Marko’s future, and my own, weighed on my mind. There had been whispers among the guards, relayed to me via Jonathan and Jordon, that most expected Marko to be stood down sometime soon, even without Damir here to take his crown; that Sylvia would take the throne. And, also, that this was all on my head—Miranda, the land girl; the moon had been her idea.

  I also fretted for Lauren’s wellbeing, and that of my grandparents. It sickened me to imagine Lauren inviting Damir into our family home and putting Nana and Pop in direct danger.

  As soon as I heard the rapping on my door I sat up. I’d taken to sleeping with our adjoining door half open so that I could hear Marko through the night. It gave me comfort to hear him breathing not too far away. In truth, I would rather have slept beside him, where I could reach out and be sure he was there and alive. But I knew he worried about losing control with me and going too far. Maybe it was time to tell him that I wouldn’t mind. That I wasn’t scared. That I wanted to have sex with him.

  ‘Are you okay?’ I asked when I saw the dark circles under his eyes and the troubled expression on his face.

  ‘I couldn’t sleep,’ he said, sitting on the edge of the bed. He rubbed his palms up and down his thighs and stared at the ground. ‘The air in Marin has changed. People are angry. Sylvia won’t speak to me.’ His cool hand found mine and stroked my skin. ‘It’s only a matter of time before the people turn on me, too. And rightly so. I didn’t deliver as I’d promised.’

  Marko stared at me with eyes so dark with sadness I had to look down at the bedcovers; I couldn’t stand to see so much pain. ‘We might be separated, Miranda. I can’t bear the idea of it, but we have to prepare ourselves.’

  ‘It won’t happen,’ I said, kneeling so that I could wrap my arms around Marko’s neck and press my face to his cheek. ‘I won’t let anybody hurt you.’

  He made a low sound in his throat and buried his face in my hair and wrapped his arms around me. ‘I only worry for when I’m not here to protect you.’

  ‘I should never have suggested the stupid moon idea unless I was one hundred per cent sure it would work.’

  Marko shook his head and, with a gentle stroke of his thumb, wiped away the stream of tears from my cheek.

  ‘If you hadn’t suggested the moon, I’d most likely be dead by now. You’ve bought me time.’ He tilted his face and brushed his lips softly across mine. ‘And each second with you is precious.’

  With my arms around his neck, I drew him closer and kissed him back, at first softly and then feverishly, my fingers threading through his short dark waves, as my lips and tongue explored his mouth.

  He moaned softly and ran his hands down my back and up again to tangle in my hair. I fell back against the pillow, bringing Marko with me. We lay chest to chest, our wild hearts beating against each other’s, our breathing laboured.

  ‘Stay with me, tonight,’ I whispered, a warm blush heating my cheeks. ‘We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, and I want to be with you.’

  A soft sigh escaped his lips, and he dropped his head into the crook of my neck.

  ‘You might regret it in the morning,’ he said, his words vibrating against my skin, his breathing hot. ‘I need to be sure that you really want it.’ He started to kiss and gently suck on my neck. ‘That you really want me, as much as I want you.’

  I moaned and arched up against him.

  ‘We might be dead in the morning,’ I said, before sliding my hands down to his lower back and pressing him harder against me. ‘And I really, really, want you.’

  Marko raised his head and stared deep into my eyes. ‘As long as you’re absolutely sure.’

  I nodded my head vigorously, suddenly impatient and tired of talking. A sense of foreboding gnawed at my insides, making me feel as though we had limited time; that, any second now
, Marko and I could be ripped apart.

  Marko smiled down at me softly, before bending his head to kiss me again. His lips were hot and urgent, and his hands gentle when he stroked my face and neck. I slid my hands up his shirt and explored the smooth skin of his front, the hard, flat muscles of his stomach, my pulse racing when his breath quickened at my touch.

  Just when my hands moved lower, to undo the button on Marko’s pants, the sound of a heavy door slamming came from Marko’s room.

  His body turned rigid in my arms.

  Footsteps thundered through the adjoining door and into my room. Marko looked at me, his eyes wide. ‘Oh, God, Miranda, I love—’

  But before he could finish I screamed.

  An unshaven Damir loomed over the bed, grinning like a madman, his green eyes wild and shiny.

  Marko rolled off the bed and seized the daggers from his boots. His shirt was crumpled and his lips slightly swollen from our kissing.

  I leapt to my feet and stood beside him.

  ‘Shall I call the guards, Marko?’

  Damir laughed and held his empty palms in front of his body and waved them about. ‘No sense calling my men for me. I’ve no plans to harm you, Marko.’ He said Marko’s name like he was spitting out poison.

  ‘They’re my men now. You left your post,’ said Marko, stepping forward.

  Damir stepped back, feigning innocence. ‘You don’t want to kill your king. Trust me; you’ll end up with a bad reputation for life.’ He laughed. ‘I speak from experience, remember?’

  Marko paled and then reddened with anger, his daggers still upheld.

  Damir’s gaze landed on me. ‘Get ready to kiss me, Randy, because I’ve brought you a gift direct from land.’

  I blinked and looked to Marko, who was turning the daggers in his hands over and over.

  ‘What are you saying?’ Marko demanded.

  ‘Family,’ Damir said. ‘Randy’s family are here.’

  ‘You mean?’ I shook my head. ‘What I think you mean?’

 

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