“Thank you, Jacob,” I repeated. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”
He cocked his head. “I have a feeling I do,” he said gently. Then he threw me a quick wink and exited the room, locking the door behind him.
I dropped on the bed and tried to steady my nerves. I took a deep breath and scanned the room. As helpful as Jacob and his wife were, I knew I needed to make a decision about what to do next. All this motel room could do was give me a safe place to decided what to do next, but it didn’t hold any answers.
I’ve been upheaving my life for six years already. Karla was my only friend, and even then, we’d only been friendly when I had felt it was safe to reach out to her. I haven’t had a boyfriend in years and the only sex I’ve had, in all these years, were quick, dirty couplings when the opportunity had presented itself, which, admittedly, hadn’t been very often.
I also thought back to what Mr. Raynes had said. Why would someone stalk me for years and never make contact? Even if my stalker was getting off on scaring me, did he/she plan on scaring me for the rest of my life?
What was their endgame?
And did I want to meet that fateful day with them calling all the shots, or did I want to finally put myself out there?
I knew I wasn’t going to come up with an answer tonight, so I decided that I was going to take a shower, get dressed, and then head on over to the little tavern next door.
I needed a drink.
Hell, I needed to get drunk.
Chapter 10
Xander~
Brant was the size of a shoebox. It shouldn’t be hard to find a goddamn stranger in this town.
But, apparently, it was.
Guilt was eating me alive, and while I still felt my concerns were valid, everyone was right; I didn’t have to voice them the way I had.
I had been a jerk-no. I had been an asshole and I could own that. The problem was I couldn’t find Fallon to apologize. I could squawk all day until the end of time about how I’d had a fucked-up day, but that still didn’t excuse my behavior. And it was more than just disappointing Trevor and hurting Karla. My parents didn’t raise me to mistreat people. And if they were alive today, they’d both be kicking my ass.
And, if I was being completely honest, my shitty day hadn’t been the only thing to throw me off at Trevor’s. I hadn’t really given any thought to what Fallon Reese would look like, but when I walked out onto the back deck, I had been momentarily stunted by her stunning looks.
Fallon’s hair was the darkest shade of ebony and it had been hanging loose around her shoulders, giving off a soft curl at the ends. Her eyes were a brilliant shade of light blue that were fringed by dark long lashes. When she stood up to shake my hand, I noticed her body had been damn near perfection in her simple jeans and cotton t-shirt. Her tits were a handful and her curves were femininely subtle. She had a realistic body; no plastic surgery turning her out like a cartoon.
No doubt about it, Fallon Reese was a beautiful woman, and that’s why this whole stalker thing had thrown me off. Yeah, I didn’t have to be a dick, but the question of why this stalker hasn’t attacked her yet was still valid. If I were obsessed with a woman who looked like Fallon, I’m not sure I could have stayed in the shadows as long as this guy has. Granted, I was assuming it was a guy, but who knew. She admitted to not knowing a thing about this person, other than they liked to torment her.
I ran my hands down my face, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to live with this wretched feeling if I couldn’t find her to apologize. I was sitting in the parking lot of Roadies’ because I hadn’t been able to find Fallon anywhere else. I had even driven all over town looking for Jacob, but when I had finally found him, he told me-in no uncertain terms-that he was going to mind his own business on this one.
Roadies’ didn’t have anyone registered under the name Fallon Reese, but if she was being truthful about everything, then I didn’t imagine she’d get a room under her real name. If she had been willing to let Karla talk her into handing everything she had over to a virtual stranger, my guess is she was using a fake I.D.
The neon lights to Pit Stop’s called to me in a way that only a man who has had a fucked-up day could appreciate a shitload of alcohol right now. I pulled away from Roadies’ motel office and found an empty space in between the motel rooms and the bar. Roadies’ and Pit Stop made a killing located on the highway, and travelers often extended their one-night stay into two. Brant was just that friendly.
I got out of my truck, locked it, and headed into the Pit for a beer. Probably some shots, too. If I couldn’t find Fallon, I needed to drown this remorse. I walked through the door, and the bar was laid out like most hold-in-the-wall drinking establishments. The bar was right in line with the front door and ran the length of the west wall while the east wall was lined with dart boards, a shuffleboard, and a couple of arcade games. The restrooms were in the back, and there was a jukebox and a couple of pool tables near the back entrance. It was dimly lit, and the ambiance matched my mood perfectly. I gave the room a quick, mildly curious glance as I walked towards the bar and that’s when I saw her.
Fallon was sitting at the end of the bar, a beer in hand, and a couple of empty shot glasses in front of her. My chest thumped with the idea of apologizing to a drunk Fallon because I couldn’t imagine this would go well at all, but I wasn’t a coward. And frankly, I deserved whatever scene she might cause. I walked towards the empty barstool next to her and sat my ass down.
Without saying a word, Darren placed a cold Bud Light down in front of me and started a tab. It wasn’t until he went back to cleaning the shelves that I finally spoke. It was still early, so the bar was fairly empty, but I did my best to keep my voice low, so the entire bar couldn’t hear our business. “Look, Fall-”
She wasn’t in the mood to hear it. “Darren?” she called out as she stood from the barstool. “Thank you for everything.” I watched as she threw down a couple of twenties and I irrationally wondered what the fuck he helped her with to warrant that size a tip.
Fallon headed towards the door and I threw my own twenty down as a string of curse words left my mouth. “Fallon!” She ignored me and Darren’s eyebrows shot up when I spared him a quick glance as I ran after her.
Great.
Small town gossip.
I cleared the doorway, and whipping my head around, I saw the swish of a light green skirt round the corner of the building leading towards the motel. I ran after her not caring who could see. Making a fool of myself in front of whoever might see was the least I could do to make amends.
Luckily, I was fast enough to see which door was hers and when I got to her room, I pounded on the door like I had the right to. “Fallon!”
The door swung open and her face was pure incredulity. “Are you crazy?!” she screeched. “What is wrong with you?”
I know-super uncool-but I muscled my way past her and into her motel room. I turned to look at her. “Look-”
Fallon still had the door open and her face looked murderous. “Have you lost your fucking mind?!” she yelled. “Get out of my room!”
I crossed my arms over my chest in a show to let her know I wasn’t going anywhere. Well…unless someone called the cops on our argument. “I’m not going anywhere until we talk.”
She reared back at my audacity, shock on her beautiful face. “Are you high?”
I shook my head. “I’m not crazy. There’s nothing wrong with me, apart from some bad manners. I haven’t lost my mind. And, no, I’m not high,” I said, answering all her questions.
She finally shut the door, probably not wanting to invite anyone into our little drama just like I didn’t, but she cocked her head at me and said, “You must be so high that you don’t realize you’re high because why else would you believe that I’d want to talk to you?”
I sighed. “Look, I wanted to apolog-”
She let out a dark, tired laugh. “You can take your apology and shove it up your ass, Mr. Raynes
,” she spat. “I give two fucks about your apology.” She flipped her hand in the air as if she were dismissing me. “Go apologize to Karla and Trevor. Don’t waste it on me because I don’t care to hear it.”
I stepped towards her and, instead of stepping back in trepidation, she drew herself up to her full height and stared me down.
I guess Fallon Reese was tired of running.
I was ready with my apology, but my mind detoured to something I couldn’t ignore. “It’s Xander,” I reminder her, ignoring her words.
A perfectly arched brow shot up. “I don’t care if it’s Jesus,” she replied coolly. “All I care about is you leaving me in peace.”
She didn’t want to hear an apology, but maybe she’d be willing to hear my offer. “Fallon, let me help you,” I said instead of saying sorry again.
She smirked, and it was ugly on someone so pretty. “I don’t need your help, Mr. Raynes,” she replied using my fucking last name again. “Like I told you before, this was all Karla’s idea. I can get through this without you or your help.”
Fuck, she was stubborn.
I stepped to her, so I was standing closer to her, but still respecting her space. “But you don’t have to,” I pointed out. “Just…just let me apologize and explain. Just hear me out.”
This time she crossed her arms over her chest-and because I’m an asshole, it was a fucking impressive chest-and eyed me. “Like I told you before,” she bit out, “I am not interested in your apology or explanations, Mr. Raynes. I-”
“Quit fucking calling me that!” I snapped without any right to. I knew I was in the wrong here. I knew that. But I also knew I hated the way she called me by my last name.
Fallon stepped towards me, so we were face-to-chest, and she glared up at me. “Fine,” she spewed. “Is this better? Fuck off, Xander.”
I groaned. I knew she was going to be pissed and, therefore, difficult, but I would think someone this desperate would hear me out, at least. “Fallon-”
Then she surprised me when she asked, “Why don’t you believe me?”
I looked into those pissed off blue eyes of hers and couldn’t find it in me to lie to her. I probably should since I was trying to get into her good graces, but I just couldn’t. “Because I can’t understand why someone who is obsessed with you wouldn’t have already made a move,” I told her honestly. “You’ve got to be one of the hottest women I have ever seen. There’s no way I’d be able to stay away if it were me. And that’s why I’m struggling to believe you.”
Chapter 11
Fallon~
Holy.
Shit.
Out of all the things I expected Xander Raynes to say, that sure as hell wasn’t one of them.
Suddenly, the motel room felt stifling. It felt smaller and…inappropriate. I felt smaller and inappropriate. I was being tormented by a madman, and I was, literally, on the run for my life, but all I could seem to think about in this moment was how a man as good-looking, albeit an asshole, as Xander Raynes was standing in my motel room telling me I was one of the hottest women he’s ever seen. And that, if he was my stalker, he wouldn’t have the self-control to stay away from me.
I could admit that my dry spell was more like a two-year drought, but was I so desperate for human contact that a jerk like Xander Raynes was looking good right now?
I shook my head and snapped myself out of those dangerous and useless thoughts. Even if I wanted a one-night stand with a man, I didn’t want it to be with one who thought I was crazy, or worse, an attention seeking whore.
Jesus. Get a grip, Fallon.
“That’s your reasoning?” I replied, trying to aloofness.
He lifted his chin and it was a shame he was such a good-looking sonofabitch. In another life, I might have liked this man. “I can’t imagine any man who could stay away for that many years without just taking you, Fallon,” he repeated, but this time his voice carried a heat it hadn’t before, and I knew Xander Raynes was a bad fucking idea.
Ignoring all my firing lady bits, I forced my mind to get back to the subject at hand. While the beers and tequila shots hadn’t solved all my problems, they did help me come to terms with a decision that was long overdue.
“Well, I no longer need your help, Mr. Ra-Xander,” I replied. This was truly none of his business, but the sooner I told him about my come-to-Jesus moment, the quicker he could leave. He was here out of guilt and as soon as he found out he had nothing to be guilty about, he could move on with his life. “I’ve decided to stay. However, I decided to…do it in the open and face whatever awaits me.” His back straightened and his nostrils flared like I just pissed him off, but my life wasn’t his business or his responsibility.
He was quiet for a few seconds before finally saying, “Maybe a decision like this shouldn’t be made after beers and shots.” He sounded so condescending, I was back to wanting to punch him in the face.
“Quite frankly, my decision, however it was made, is none of your business,” I told him, stressing that, yet again, my life was none of his business. “If he comes for me, then he comes for me. But at least, this way, I have Karla in my corner.”
He looked like he wanted to argue the point, but instead he just gave me tight nod. “I’m really sorry I judged you the way I did,” he said, and I wasn’t sure what to do with that.
I had bigger issues to deal with besides what Xander Raynes thought of me. Sure, it’d be nice if we could get along for Karla and Trevor’s sake, but I hadn’t really planned on spending that much time with Karla and Trevor to begin with. As much as Karla was in my corner, I wanted to spare her from my drama as much as possible. I figured with getting a job and getting settled in, a once a week lunch or something like that would be good enough to still be friends but not put her in any harm’s way. With the deliberate distance, the odds of running into Xander were slim to none.
I shrugged a shoulder as casually as I could. “Don’t worry about it,” I told him. “Now that I’m going in a different direction, what happened earlier doesn’t even matter.” I stared into those bright amber eyes of his. “Your opinion of me doesn’t matter. It never did.”
Then he surprised the hell out of me by saying, “Well, your opinion of me matters, Fallon.”
I glanced around the motel room and took inventory of my life before I looked back at him. “No, it doesn’t,” I corrected. “Karla and Trevor’s opinions of you matter, and I can understand that. However, this is where we part ways, Xander.” He opened his mouth to argue, but I put my hand up to stop him. “Even if you are genuinely sorry, I have enough problems in my life without inviting someone who I don’t trust into it. And, make no mistake, Xander, I don’t trust you.”
He dropped his head and ran his hands through his chocolate-colored hair, swearing a string worthy of a sailor before looking back at me. “Just let me fucking explain,” he growled.
I didn’t want him to explain. I wanted him gone. I didn’t need to be attracted to someone who thought so little of me and was so quick to judge. Hell, maybe I was judging him quickly and unfairly too, but I wasn’t cruel about it. And, unfortunately, I was finding myself attracted to Xander Raynes. And the longer he stood in my motel room, the more likely that I’d end up making a grave mistake where he was concerned.
“I need you to please leave, Xander,” I said, betraying nothing.
Xander shook his head in defeat, but then walked over to the nightstand, and I stood at the door as I watched him write something down on the complimentary notepad by the lamp. He ripped the page off and walked over to hand it to me. I grabbed it and saw that it was a phone number.
“That’s my number,” he said. “If you’ve decided to meet this situation head-on, I imagine you’re probably going to get a real phone. That’s my number if you need m-anything.”
I was still hurt and insulted enough to want to wad up the piece of paper and throw it in his face, but I didn’t. I didn’t because I didn’t want to make this situation any harder on Ka
rla and Trevor than necessary. Xander was their friend and there was no value in being mean to him.
I stepped away from the door and place the paper on the edge of the bed. “Thanks,” I replied, my back to him. And before I could turn back around to see him out, I felt his body heat envelop my entire body from behind. I couldn’t disguise the hitch in my breath at his proximity. And while I should be feeling anxious that a virtual stranger was invading my space, all I felt was a dangerous longing, and not necessarily for Xander, himself. It’s been ages since I’ve been with someone, and the one-night stands I did have hadn’t left much room for affection. They’d mostly been encounters to relive the stress that was my life. They also helped me not feel alone, if only for a few hours.
This was different.
Xander wasn’t a passing stranger. He was Karla and Trevor’s best friend and a fixture here in Brant. I couldn’t sleep with him and just walk away. Now that I’ve decided to make Brant my home, I had to treat the town and its people with the respect it deserved as my new home. Screwing the first guy who made my skin break out in chills was not the way to go. Once I got settled, I could drive over to one of the bigger cities to get laid if I needed to.
His breath was hot against my ear as he whispered, “I really am sorry, Fallon.”
I closed my eyes and really wished I could have just held onto the hate I had been feeling for him. I wanted to stay mad at him and believe he was only here for Karla and Trevor’s sakes, but it was harder and harder to hold onto my righteousness the more and more he tried to apologize.
I took a step forward to give myself some much-needed distance from him and turned to face him. “Let’s just drop it, Xander,” I replied. “We don’t need to be friends, but we can still be cordial for the sake of Karla and Trevor.” Before he could respond, I added, “Besides, Brant is a small town. There’s no need to make enemies where there doesn’t need to be.”
Real Shadows Page 6
