by Shawn Wall
Saturday night, Suzanne called an old classmate, Kristen, and convinced her to go to the football game. Since college had begun, their high school group had grown apart. Everyone but Kristen and Suzanne had a steady boyfriend, and of course, her most loyal friend Billy was shipped off in the military. She and De Ann probably wouldn't even be close if they weren't roommates. She often thought Billy had been the glue that held them altogether.
The sky was clear, a perfect night for the game. Kristen saw a group of her new friends seated in the center of the home bleachers about four rows up. She introduced her to the new gang, four guys and three girls. They were a nice enough group of kids. From the boots and jeans, they were obviously Agri majors, and Suzanne could tell there was one boy in particular that Kristen was eyeing.
"Suzanne has a date with number thirty-six," Kristen told a thin girl on the end named Connie.
"How did you hook up with him?” Connie looked Suzanne over as she spoke.
"I haven't hooked up with anybody. Tray and I have Comp together." Suzanne huffed, and outrage started to burn in her gut.
"Don't be offended. Connie knows the lowdown on all the football team." Kristen smiled at her new friend.
"Okay, Connie. What do I need to know?" Suzanne asked her.
"Tray West is an up and coming running back for our Muleriders. He was a football star in his high school, and it’s rumored he’s been offered a football scholarship playing for University of Arkansas." She was a little too excited and resounded like an anchorman for the nightly news.
"Do you know anything about his real life?" Suzanne wasn’t interested in the obvious. She found herself wondering about his hopes and dreams, and how it might be quite an adventure discovering them.
"Oh, he's not a player. He could be if he wanted. I mean with his looks and status. Most of the freshman cheerleaders have already made a play for him. No offense. That's why I was shocked that you were going out. I mean the football scene is its own little world. A lot of people don't break into it."
"No offense taken. I guess I'm just ignorant. I really don't know who is in or out."
Noticing the game had already begun, Suzanne looked for Tray's jersey finding him on the sidelines. The opposing team had scored a touchdown, and their band was playing a victory song. Now she wished she had paid more attention at all those high school football games. Being in band, she had never missed a game in her high school career, but she was still clueless. Tray was called in, and when their whole group screamed his name, she hoped he could hear them. He must have been a good player. Some boys to the left commented about him, and the announcer referenced to his number more than once. Finally, the Muleriders scored two touchdowns putting SAU in the lead. When the game finally ended, Muleriders had won fourteen to seven.
"Kristen, I'm not supposed to meet him until eleven. Will you wait with me?" Suzanne asked.
Kristen’s friend Connie spoke up. "We'd be glad to wait with you."
Oh great, Tray's number one fan will go berserk when she sees him coming. The crowd filtered out slowly, and the band played two more songs after the players left the field. She was glad she had decided to skip college band. It would have been more work than she wanted, especially with her weekends occupied.
Suzanne slowly walked toward the concession stand and finally players were exiting the clubhouse in street clothes. When a group of guys walked across the field, she was a little nervous, and Kristen read her expression.
"Let me get Connie out of here before she embarrasses herself. You call me if you need anything and have a good time. You deserve it." She smiled and grabbed Connie's arm in one swoop, whisking her away.
Suzanne was suddenly worried about the way she was dressed. She had worn a pair of jeans that were snug but still comfortable, and a fitted three-quarter length sweater. She hadn't thought about appropriate attire at a football party. As the group came closer, she recognized Tray as he smiled and quickened his pace when he saw her.
"I was afraid you might stand me up."
"Never." She smiled back at him, and his face lit up.
"Are you ready to go? I'm parked in the east parking lot."
"Sure." Her voice was a little shaky, and she hoped it didn’t show her nerves.
They walked across the field to the parking lot, and she wondered what kind of car he drove. She decided not to ask and remain surprised. He walked up to a charcoal gray Mazda Miata, and he unlocked her door first, holding it for her as she got in. He cranked up and turned on the stereo, asking about her taste in music. He liked rock too, so she wouldn't have to suffer through the night.
"It's been a while since I've eaten. Are you hungry?" he asked.
"I can eat if you want."
"Let's go get a burger or something. If you want to drink at the party, you sure don't need to do it on an empty stomach," he said like he had done it before.
They went to a drive-in near campus and sat and talked while they ate.
"So do I need to be forewarned about this party? I've heard they can be pretty wild."
"There is a lot of drinking to be sure. I hope that doesn't bother you, but I have never seen anything but good clean fun."
"That actually sounds perfect.” Then, she began devouring her burger. She deserved a little self-indulgence, if only for one night.
"So, why doesn't a girl like you have a boyfriend? I know it has to be your choice.”
"Well, let's just say I'm not easily swayed." He knew nothing of her past. She was just a pretty girl to him, no preconceived notions. Tonight, here with him, she could pretend to be anyone. She could be anyone but the real Suzanne Foster.
"Ah, you want to remain a mystery. I see." He smiled widely.
He drove at least thirty minutes from school, north toward Camden, and then finally turned onto a dirt road, which winded up to a cabin. It was dark, even with the moon. As he moved closer, she could see the river and a long, wooden dock along the bank. A bonfire was roaring high, and she could hear music from a distance. Tray opened her door and took her hand as they walked up the gravel drive.
"Is this only for the players?" she asked.
"No, but usually only the popular group is invited." Then, he opened his mouth, and she thought he might speak again, but he turned staring intently at the driveway.
The small cabin wasn't abandoned, and she could see lights through the back windows. Suzanne was relieved that if she drank any alcohol there would be a place for needed bathroom breaks. She certainly didn't want to have to find a place to squat. As they walked up to the bonfire, a crowd of people called Tray’s name loudly. This only confirmed her suspicion of his popularity. There were several kegs and ice chests with more beer and wine coolers. Everyone had watched them approach, and she was sure they were wondering who she was, or maybe just why Tray was with her. Several big guys came up to them, with two of them punching Tray in his upper arms playfully. Then, several repeated, "Way to go on the field tonight, dude." They both eyed Suzanne and smiled at Tray. A guy standing behind them, whom the group called Paul, scanned her up and down and winked. She couldn’t see him well enough to distinguish his features, but he kept staring, and she felt uncomfortable. Tray’s lips formed a straight line as he placed his arm around her, and pulled her toward him. She was glad for his gesture, and the boy turned away quickly. She could tell there must be an unspoken code of no fellow player messing with another player's girl.
"You want something to drink?" he asked.
She hesitated, but lost her will. The chance to forget overtook her.
“Not a beer, something strong.” Tray wouldn’t let anything happen to her. Somehow, she knew she could trust him. She could let go.
They sat by the bonfire on the empty side of a log. Being October the night had turned a little cool, and the warmth from the fire felt nice. Tray had put his left arm around her and pulled her closer to him. His strong arms felt safe. It had been a while since someone held her, and she didn't realize how
much she had missed it. Suzanne guessed she was here just because she was tired of being alone. The whiskey and Coke burned her throat, but soon the tickling began to leave her uninhibited. With one, two, three drinks the pain had faded.
There were mostly couples around the bonfire. A few faces she knew from the courtyard, but not all were football players. Everyone still talked about the game, and Tray’s name was mentioned more than once. Suzanne realized she wasn't nervous anymore, and she felt comfortable with him. In fact, it was easy to see that although he was noticed by everyone, it had not changed him. He thought of himself as a simple country boy to whom good things had just happened. He had turned down several football scholarships at schools far away to stay close to home. Even though he had opened himself up like a book, she had to be careful, and she couldn’t reveal too much about herself.
"Well, you’re pretty popular. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, but that really doesn't matter to me. I play ball because I like it."
"It doesn't matter that girls throw themselves at you all the time?" she asked with a crooked smile.
"Actually, it gets old. I didn't know there were that many loose girls. They will say anything. You would not believe it if I told you." He looked uneasy when he thought about it.
"I would believe you, but I don't want any details. Your explanation was enough." She laughed.
"I'm gonna make this my last beer. I don't want us stuck here all night."
"I would’ve been happy to drive, before those last three drinks. Oh, unless you don't want me driving your little sports car." She smiled teasing him. The buzzing in her head let her know it wasn’t possible, and she’d never get behind the wheel in her current state.
"Normally, I wouldn’t mind. Can you drive a stick shift?"’
"What makes you think I can’t?"
"I've never seen a girl who could drive a standard.”
"Now you have.” She smiled at him again, so he would know she wasn't mad.
"Hey, you guys! Let’s go for a dip," a voice called from the docks.
The guys seated around the bonfire started to cheer and headed toward the river with their girlfriends in tow.
Tray turned to her. "You don't mind, do you?"
"No, of course I don't mind, but you’re going to have to help me over there." Her head and body weaved. She almost felt whole, no more emptiness. It had worked. Only the here and now mattered.
He took her hand and guided her toward the river. Most of the girls sat at the water’s edge. Boys ran past them, shed their shirts and pants, and then jumped feet first into the cool water. The river was about thirty feet wide, and it looked dark and gloomy. Suzanne knew she was not going in. She walked with Tray to the dock, and he pulled off his shoes and socks, then shirt and jeans. He wore boxers, and his clothes did not do him justice. She was a little embarrassed, but she watched him anyway, and he grinned widely. His stare never left her eyes. He apparently liked her watching him. He kissed her on the cheek and ran, jumping off the dock feet first, which made a huge splash.
"Oh you should come in. Gosh this water is cold," he yelled out.
She laughed loudly. "No, thank you, I'm just fine up here.”
Then she pulled off her shoes, rolled up her pants, and sat on the edge of where Tray had jumped. Lightly skimming the surface with one toe, she shivered the water was chilly to say the least. Another group of boys approached the dock, and she heard a familiar name.
"Seth, I dare you, man," a voice called out.
Was this the same Seth? Her heart skipped a beat. What was wrong with her? Here she was with this incredible guy, popular, cute, and who, with not much effort, could be her boyfriend. She was sure of that. Why was she worried about someone who had barely noticed she was even alive? It was fairly dark, and from a distance, she could not distinguish anyone in particular from the group. As they came closer, she recognized the voice and turned her head to watch.
"You know not to dare me," Seth Griffin called back as he was running for the dock.
He threw his shoes in the grass and then began to peel the layers. She couldn’t help but look. Thank goodness, with the night sky and from this angle, he probably couldn't see her gawk. Next, he ran and jumped in feet first like all the others then screamed when he hit the water. A couple of girls braved the water too, but they were with their boyfriends away from the crowd. Someone had brought a stack of towels from the cabin, so she grabbed a couple for Tray.
Suzanne noticed there was a ladder to her right leading down into the water. She guessed this was used as a swimming area during summer. Then, she was startled when a boy emerged from the smooth surface. It was Seth. The moonlight glistened on every inch of his wet body, and her mouth dropped open in shock. She quickly got control of herself and swallowed hard. He was amazing, and she had never been more attracted to anyone in her life. He looked into her eyes and smiled while he climbed up the ladder.
"Would you like a towel?" That was all she could muster in her dumbfounded state.
"Thanks," he answered and sat on the other side of the ladder on the dock’s edge.
As he dried himself, she couldn't help but glance and hoped he didn’t notice. Her mind went blank, and her voice had left her. What would she say if she could? He never spoke, and there was a long moment of awkward silence. Suddenly, she felt something under her feet coming up out of the water.
She jumped and swayed over the water for a brief second before catching herself just in time. “Oh!”
It was Tray.
"Did I scare you?"
"A little, aren't you freezing?"
"Ah, it's not so bad. It would be even better if you would join me," Tray said with a playful tone.
"Sorry, I'm not wearing a swimsuit." She shook her head, and could hear Seth chuckling.
"You don't need a swimsuit. It's dark, and nobody can see anything unless you’re up close.”
She tossed her head back with a light laugh. "I am not going skinny dipping.”
"No I didn't mean that. You could keep on your underwear."
"I'm sure you would like that, wouldn't you."
Then, she lifted her sweater revealing her flat stomach, and held it just under her bra line. She hesitated in that position for a full ten seconds until Tray’s eyes widened, and his lips parted slightly.
"Nope, I changed my mind.” She couldn’t help but giggle and didn’t mean to use a high-pitched tone.
"You are such a tease." Tray laughed with her, and then swam over to the ladder, and climbed up. He dried off, wrapped a towel around his waist, and sat beside her.
"Hey, Seth, I didn't see you man. How's it going?" Tray said.
"Just hanging like everybody else, great game tonight," Seth responded.
"Thanks.”
They knew each other and seemed more than acquaintances. It really shouldn't have affected her, but she was glad to see Seth wasn't here with a girl, just hanging out with his friends. When Seth's group came by, he quickly got up, glanced at her, and walked away. No one else was left on the dock as most of the swimmers had retreated, and the few left in the water were couples staying in for the privacy.
Tray took her left hand. "Are you cold?”
"It's a little chilly." She shivered.
He wrapped his right arm around her and pulled her to his chest. He was so much taller that the top of her head rested under his chin. His skin was dry and cool.
"Is that better?" His voice was low and husky as he pressed her firmly against his chest.
"Yes, it's nice."
It’s nicer than you’ll ever know.
His hold was intoxicating, like he was quenching her thirst, soothing an intense craving. She had truly missed the intimacy of being with someone and hoped he wouldn't realize just how vulnerable she was. If she were here at this place, in this moment, with anyone but a gentleman, she wasn’t sure how far she would let herself go. They sat quietly watching the water. It was black with only the moon casting
a light across it, still, like glass with no ripples. The forest on the opposite side was thick and dark, with no bank to speak of. Even though they weren’t alone, in this moment, it was as if only the two of them existed.
Tray touched her chin, lifted her face to meet his gaze, and looked into her eyes for a long moment. Recognizing her welcome, he leaned down gently and kissed her softly. His hot breath was tantalizing as he ran his hands through her hair and down her back. She ran hers through his wet, tousled hair and pulled herself to him. She was crushed against his bare chest. How easy it would be for her to get lost in his touch. She could tell his kissing was becoming more eager too, and his hands wanted to go other places. He stopped himself, kissed her forehead, and looked into her eyes.
"I'd better get dressed now." His voice was unsteady.
He dressed, and she put on her shoes. Then they walked back to the bonfire holding hands. No one was sitting by the fire, but she saw a few people close to the cabin. Some had sat on the hoods of their cars, and it was a sure sign the party was dwindling down. They went to the same log as before and sat no more than an inch apart. He put his arm around her again and pulled her close.
"You had never even noticed me before that rainy day, had you?" He murmured, and his voice had a gravely tone.
She wouldn’t lie to him. "No, not really."
"I had seen you in class, when you walk in a room that can't be helped. But you intrigued me when I watched you in the courtyard."
She wasn't sure where he would go with this.
"Everyone does not notice me.”
"You have no clue."
"I beg to differ.”
"What intrigued me was your sadness. Even in a crowd of people, I could see how lonely you are. I couldn't imagine why this beautiful girl would be so lost. I wondered what had happened to you."
