by Cheree Alsop
“Are you okay?” Siale asked quietly.
“I will be,” Alex replied.
“I choose...” The Alpha fell silent.
Alex prayed that Jericho would keep his word. The students usually in Pack Jericho shifted uncomfortably in their seats. After a term apart, everyone was anxious for a normal pack life again.
“Siale Andrews,” the Alpha said.
Surprised murmurs ran over the students. Alex saw Siale’s shocked expression out of the corner of his eye.
“It’s supposed to be you,” she said.
Alex turned to her and forced a smile. “It’s you. You deserve it. Take your place as Jericho’s Second.” When it looked like she was going to protest, Alex said, “Go ahead, Siale. It’s okay.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, her eyebrows pulled together in worry.
“I’m positive,” he told her. “You were a great Second last term. Go on up.”
Alex watched her pass through the students on her way to the dais. It was hard to ignore the questioning gazes of the werewolves around him, but Alex kept his face forward.
Torin took the stage again. “Alex Davies.”
Alex’s heart skipped a beat at the sound of his name. He swore it had never rung so loudly in the Great Hall. The name echoed from the corners, catching in the eaves and bouncing back at him. He didn’t know why Torin would call him to his pack again after everything Alex had put him through the year before, but Alex knew what his answer had to be.
He rose from his seat, but didn’t move toward the dais. His fingers gripped the back of the seat in front of him hard enough that the wood cracked.
“I deny all Choosings.”
Alex’s voice boomed through the sudden silence of the surprised students.
“Can he do that?” Torin asked Dean Jaze who sat behind him with the other professors.
Alex met the dean’s gaze, careful to keep his face expressionless.
After a moment, Jaze nodded. “It’s his right.” He paused. “Not one I would recommend, but Alex is allowed to be a lone wolf if it is his desire.”
All heads swiveled back to Alex.
Alex’s heart pounded in his chest so hard he wondered if the students closest to him could hear it. He remembered the dean’s words when they spoke about Drogan becoming a lone wolf.
“Lone wolves are dangerous. They don’t have anyone to hold them accountable or to protect. A werewolf without a pack is a loose cannon because it’s unnatural. Our instincts keep us together. Pack hierarchy is important because not only does it give those of lower rank someone to watch over them, it gives the Alpha purpose.”
But Alex wasn’t an Alpha or a Gray. He was caught somewhere in between. The Demon didn’t exactly fit anywhere. Alex had defeated Alphas at the school and undermined their leadership. Why anyone would want him in their pack was baffling. Alex made the only decision he felt was right.
“It is my desire,” he confirmed.
At the dean’s nod, Alex sat back down. He kept his gaze on the seat in front of him until every student in the Great Hall was standing with their pack and he was the last werewolf sitting. An uncomfortable moment of silence filled the air.
Jaze clapped, breaking it up.
“That concludes the Choosing Ceremony. Please follow your Alphas to your quarters. For those who are new, your Alphas will show you the ropes here at the Academy. Class will begin tomorrow.”
A groan followed the dean’s announcement that was as much a tradition as the Choosing Ceremony. Alex caught a few backwards glances while the students filed out after their Alphas. He waited until the last one was gone before he rose and went outside to the statue that overlooked the courtyard.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Alex settled against the cold stone at the base of Jet’s statue wondering where he fit in now that he had thrown all order out the window.
The footsteps he heard were welcome.
“Telling Jet how you managed to create chaos on the very first day of your final term?” Professor Kaynan asked.
The red-eyed professor took a seat next to Alex on the cool grass. Alex liked that he didn’t ask if he could sit; Kaynan had been like an uncle to him ever since he and Cassie arrived at the Academy. The werewolf knew him almost better than he knew himself.
“Jet thinks I’ve outlived my welcome here,” Alex answered, keeping his voice steady.
Kaynan looked up at the great black wolf statue. “I don’t believe that one bit.” He looked at Alex. “If anyone belongs here, it’s you. You were one of the first orphans; the Academy practically belongs to you.”
Alex couldn’t bring himself to meet the professor’s gaze. He plucked a blade of grass and twirled it between his finger and thumb. “I don’t fit in here. I’m not a Gray or an Alpha, and I’ve beaten two of the Alphas in rank duels, something a Gray is not supposed to do. If I stay, it’ll only create more trouble.” His voice quieted. “But this is my home.”
Kaynan was quiet for a moment before he said, “Would you like to hear what I think?”
Alex nodded silently. He heard the professor shift his back against the base of the statue in an effort to find a more comfortable position. Kaynan then tipped his head up to look at the darkening sky. “I don’t fit in here either, truth be told.” He glanced over and met Alex’s surprised look. “Think about it. I was born a human, not a werewolf. I died in a car accident and woke up in a lab made into a werewolf. I’m the only red-coated wolf I know of.” Alex could hear the depth of emotion that came with the statement the professor tried to keep light. “I fit in here less than you do.”
“But you’re a professor,” Alex pointed out.
Kaynan grinned, his dark red eyes touched with his smile. “Jaze might have been a little desperate when he assigned positions here. We were shorthanded.”
A slight answering smile touched Alex’s lips at the professor’s candidness. “Why are you still here then?”
Kaynan shrugged. “Let’s just say that when you have your home, it’s the wolf way to fight for it no matter what. Grace and I are very happy here.” He gave Alex a warm smile. “In fact, she’s expecting.”
Alex pretended to be surprised for the professor’s sake. “That’s wonderful!” he said. “Congratulations!”
“Thanks,” Kaynan replied. “We’re very excited. Grace is going to be an excellent mother.”
“And you’re going to make a great father,” Alex told him.
The corner of Kaynan’s mouth lifted in a half-smile. “That’s to be seen, I guess. In the meantime, this is your home, Alex. Being an outsider as I am, I’ve seen the way it works. I know how Alphas act and Grays.” His gaze was serious as he studied the student. “You came here as a Gray, that’s for sure. Now, though, you act more like an Alpha. Before, you were interested in protecting those closest to you, Cassie, Meredith, Kalia, and Siale. Now, though...” He gave a thoughtful smile. “The decision you made tonight was for the good of the school, for the good of the packs and the students. That was an Alpha’s decision.”
Professor Kaynan stood. He set a hand on Alex’s shoulder and looked down at him. “Trust your heart, Alex. This is home. You have a place here and love. A wolf needs something to fight for. A werewolf needs more than that. Werewolves need the little things, smiles, hugs, knowing where you sleep in safety at night, and understanding where you fit in the scheme of things.” He smiled. “You fit here, Alex. You just need to find your niche.”
Alex listened to the professor walk away. He looked up at the cold metal of the statue. The seven on the wolf’s shoulder shone in the moonlight. His tattoo that matched Jet’s burned slightly in reminder.
“Thanks, Jet,” he whispered.
A few minutes later, another set of footsteps made him rise.
“I was worried about you,” Siale said. A smile touched her lips when their eyes met as if she couldn’t help herself. She gave him a hug. “Jericho told me you asked him not to choose you. Do you rea
lly want to be without a pack?”
Alex kept his tone light. “It’s not going to be that bad.”
“You’re a werewolf,” Siale told him. “Pack is family.”
“You’re my family,” he replied. He waved a hand at the Academy. “The professors are my family, Cassie and Tennison, Trent and Jordan, Terith...” He paused, then said, “I suppose I should include Von as well, but he snores.”
Siale slapped his shoulder. “He’s not that bad.”
Alex chuckled and pulled her close. “No, he’s not, and I’m glad that he and Terith seem so happy.” He sighed and rested his chin gently on the top of her head. “I just can’t do it anymore. Last term I spent half my time cleaning toilets just to keep Torin happy.”
“You guys have resolved things,” she pointed out.
Alex nodded. “Yes, but an Alpha’s job is to give orders for the good of his pack, and the Grays are supposed to follow those orders to avoid chaos and maintain the discipline that keeps the pack together.” He paused, then said quietly, “I don’t think I can follow orders anymore.”
“You never argued when Torin told you to clean the toilets,” Siale said softly.
She had never mentioned anything, but Alex had always wondered how she felt about her boyfriend scrubbing toilets for hours on end at the whim of the vengeful Alpha. Though she had never looked at him differently, the humiliation of all Torin had put him through had eaten at Alex. The Demon was hard enough to control when he was on his own; Alex couldn’t imagine what would happen if he continued letting others tell him what to do.
“I wanted to beat him again,” Alex admitted. He felt her watching him closely, but he couldn’t bring himself to meet her gaze. “I wanted to break his bones and make him wish he hadn’t ordered me around.” He squeezed his closed eyes. “That’s not how a Gray’s supposed to feel.”
“It’s not always easy to take orders,” she said, trying to understand. “But we follow them because the Alpha’s supposed to know best.”
“But what if he doesn’t?” Alex turned to her, his gaze troubled. “What if every time the Alpha made a decision, you were left wondering if he was right? What if the simplest orders gave the greatest frustration and you wanted to go against them just to show you can?”
Siale was silent for a moment before she said. “You don’t sound like a Gray.”
He sat back down at the base of Jet’s statue and held up a hand. She took it and sat down beside him.
“Maybe you should be an Alpha. Your coat’s been changing,” Siale noted quietly. “It was almost black the last time we phased at Dad’s warehouse.”
Alex let out a slow breath. “I really don’t know what I am anymore. I’m stuck somewhere in this strange middle where I don’t want to lead, but I don’t want to follow. I beat two Alphas in rank duels, but the thought of taking charge of their packs was more than I wanted to handle. I’m the most unstable of anyone I know. I don’t know what to do with myself, let alone an entire pack.”
Siale slipped her hand into his. She rotated their hands, studying the way their fingers linked together. “Maybe I should have chosen to be a lone wolf, too.”
He shook his head. “You deserve the security of a pack. Like you said, pack is family.”
She leaned her head on his shoulder. “You’re my family, Alex.”
Her words brought a smile to his lips. “And you’re mine, Siale. I’ll figure things out, I promise. I don’t want you to think your fiancé is going crazy.”
She looked up at him and the blue within the depths of her gray eyes was heightened in the moonlight. “You are crazy, Alex.” She smiled. “And I’m crazy about you. We’ll figure this out together.”
So many emotions filled him that he couldn’t contain them anymore. He kissed her on the lips as much to show his love as to keep sane. When his lips touched hers, everything fell away. Alex felt like he had on the wave when nothing existed but him and the ocean. He heard her heartbeat and was filled with her sage and lavender scent. He felt the brush of her hair against his hand that rested softly at the small of her back, and he was very aware of the way her hand strayed to his cheek and touched it lightly.
He pulled back and looked down at her. “Siale, I promise you this. No matter what I go through or how off the beaten path things get, I’ll always be your Alex. You are my one, my love, and my everything. Seventeen might be young for someone to know what they want out of this life, but I do.”
Her gaze felt bottomless when she asked, “What do you want?”
“I want you,” Alex told her. “I want safety for those I care about. I want werewolves to be seen as equals with humans, and to be allowed the same opportunities. I want the professors to have their white picket fence neighborhood, I want Jaze and Nikki to be able to raise little William and his brother or sister in peace, and I want to stop looking over my shoulder for fear that my presence brings danger to those around me.”
He fell silent with the realization that he had gone on a tangent.
Siale tipped her head back and looked at the stars. Alex wondered what thoughts rushed through her mind. Maybe she was starting to realize that he was too unstable to be husband material. Perhaps his goals felt too unattainable. Maybe she needed a werewolf who was willing and able to be a part of a pack. He swallowed through a tight throat, afraid he was about to lose her.
Siale’s eyebrows pulled together with the little furrow in the middle when she asked, “Do you know the story of Orion?”
Confused by her line of thought, Alex shook his head. “I don’t.”
She kept her gaze on the stars when she said, “Orion was a great hunter who fell in love with the archer goddess, Artemis. Her twin brother, Apollo, wasn’t happy with his sister’s choice. One day, Orion was hunting in the ocean and only his head was visible above the waves. Apollo pointed out the black thing on the sea and bet his sister that she couldn’t shoot it. Not one to pass up a challenge, Artemis drew her bow and shot the object. When Orion’s body floated to shore, Artemis was so heartbroken that she placed Orion within the stars so that she could see her love every night.”
“That’s a sad story,” Alex said; he kept his voice level despite his uncertainty as to what she as getting at.
“It’s one of the versions,” she replied, “But it’s my favorite, do you know why?”
Alex shook his head.
She set a hand on his arm. “Because it reminds me that I could lose you. You’re a lone hunter not afraid to live with your heart on your sleeve and up to your neck in adversity. Orion could best any beast, but it was his love that finally brought him down. We’re different, Alex. Your love will be at your side no matter where you go.”
She looked at him with an expression so honest it gripped his heart.
“Alex, just as you say I’m your one, you’re my one as well. Werewolves don’t love lightly.” She smiled at him. “You do what you need to do. I’ll be Jericho’s Second in the pack to help keep the peace, and you be the lone wolf you need to be, but just know that you’re never really alone. Since the moment you climbed into that body pit and saved my life, you owned my heart. No matter what you need to do, I’m with you.”
Alex couldn’t find the words to voice the emotions that filled him. Siale seemed to understand that. She leaned her head against his chest and listened to his heart as he held her. The moonlight strayed across the grass and snagged in the bushes along the wall, and the starlight fell on Jet’s statue, covering them in his protective shadow.
“I love you, my Siale,” Alex finally said.
“And I love you, my Alex,” Siale whispered.
Alex rested his head back against the statue and thanked Jet from the bottom of his heart for saving his and Cassie’s lives the day his parents died. The love and stability he had lost surrounded him so fully at that moment he barely dared to believe it, yet he couldn’t deny the feeling of Siale’s breath against his arm and the way her fingers traced patterns on his palm.
Siale sat up and looked at him. “You gave me my life, Alex. I can’t wait to spend it with you.”
“You’ve become what I live for,” he replied, smiling down at her. “You are worth every breath.”
Tears showed in her eyes. She leaned her head against him again. “I’m already dreading going up to Pack Jericho’s quarters without you.”
“Don’t worry,” he told her. “Everything’s going to work out.”
“I know.” She paused, then said, “Because nobody’s stupid enough to get between a werewolf and the boy she loves.”
Alex chuckled and she laughed. He pulled her close and together they watched Orion travel across the sky.
Chapter Twenty-eight
When he awoke, it took Alex a minute to remember where he was. The smells were different, dust and the faintest scent of lemon lingered as though it had been a while since the place had been cleaned. The couch he slept on felt unfamiliar and lumpy. He opened his eyes and glanced around the room. A wry smile crossed his face.
All of the packs had their own quarters at the Academy. In planning for expansion, other rooms had been built so that the Academy could accommodate nearly double the number it already housed. Without a pack, Alex had found his belongings later that night moved from the bedroom in Pack Jericho’s quarters where he had slept the night before and left at the end of the hallway.
Unsure what else to do, Alex had made his way to an empty hallway and taken the first set of rooms on the left. He tried all the bedrooms, but the first room was usually reserved for an Alpha, and the next for the Second. Being neither of these, Alex couldn’t bring himself to settle for one of the rooms further down the hall. Instead, he fell asleep on the couch in the commons room with his stuff still in the duffle bag on the floor.
“It’s not horrible,” Alex said aloud. He paused, then concluded, “Except now I’m talking to myself.”
Determined to make the most of the situation, Alex showered and wandered through the empty quarters, stalling until it was time for breakfast. He made his way down the hall and caught up with the throng of students hurrying downstairs toward the scent of waffles, cheesy scrambled eggs, and Cook Jerald’s famous marmalade.
