"I had a long conversation with Alice when I went to stay with them," she told Agnes.
Agnes took a sip of her tea, and then looked down at Jane curiously.
"You did? About what?"
Jane rolled her eyes. "Oh, come now, sister. Of course you know."
When Agnes was still perplexed, Jane sighed heavily.
"About that afternoon I almost ruined everything for Robert and Alice. When I barged in on you both and interrupted you and caused all of that trouble?"
Agnes smiled sweetly at Jane. "Oh, Jane, that doesn't matter anymore. I had already forgiven you and moved on." She gently touched Jane's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "I know how fiercely protective you are of your siblings. I knew that you and Alice would eventually become good friends."
Jane smiled, but it did not last long. She looked up at Agnes.
"I do not know. I seem to make a mess out of every situation—especially the relationships in my life. I am quite good at ruining those."
Agnes's brow furrowed, and she looked more closely at Jane. "Whatever do you mean?"
Jane shook her head. "You know, Agnes, I was thinking..."
Agnes hesitated, still lingering on Jane's last thought, but Jane wished to move past it.
"All right, what is it?"
"When you have your next child, I would be most pleased to come and help you take care of them both."
Agnes simply stared at her.
"Having one child is difficult enough, I'm sure, but having two may be near impossible for you and my brother to handle without going absolutely mad. I know that you will have help to care for the children, but I would be very pleased to spend more time with my nephew and his new brother or sister."
Agnes studied Jane's face, and she took a deep breath.
Jane did not like the look on her face.
"My dear," Agnes began. "What a kind offer you have made. It is most generous of you. Certainly we could use all of the help we can get when our next child is born, and of course, you will always be welcome to visit us."
She sat down on the floor beside Jane and looked at her very intently.
"But this is not about the children at all, is it? This is about something else."
Jane swallowed and looked back at Jane. She looked quickly away.
"I do not know what you are implying," Jane said rather simply.
Agnes smiled gently. "I think you do."
Jane remained silent.
Agnes sighed. "Beatrice told me what happened between you and Lord Greenshire."
Jane groaned in reply, but Agnes held up a hand to her, stopping her from any further protest.
"She was very kind to you, do not worry. I know how she and Margaret can be, but I think they are sincerely worried about you. Beatrice did nothing but simply retell the events. No personal opinions or attitudes were present."
Jane huffed, and she passed the babe back to Agnes. She stood and relocated herself to her favorite chair by the fire.
Agnes followed and sat down in the chair beside her, allowing the little one to play on the floor.
"Listen, I do not know what she told you..."
"She told me that Lord Greenshire had come to visit. That Lord Hays had come up in conversation, and while the two of you spoke alone, something came up that upset him greatly. So much so that he actually left the estate and returned home."
Hearing it so starkly from someone who had not been there made Jane relive the awful moment when Lord Greenshire walked away from her a second time. Jane studied the hem of her dress, picking at a loose stitch.
“I take your silence as confirmation,” Agnes said, though not unkindly. “Jane, running from your problems will fix nothing. They will not disappear if you simply ignore them.”
Jane glared at Agnes, even though she knew that she was right.
“And that is what I believe you are trying to do by offering to come and help John and I.”
Jane felt her cheeks flush. “It is not as if that is the only reason that I wish to come and stay with you.”
Agnes smiled and nodded her head. “I know that, Jane. I know that you love your nephew, and you love your brother and me, but you are needed here. This is where you can begin a new start on your own life.”
Jane frowned. “You are right, I suppose.”
Agnes said heartily. “I think you would make a fine governess.”
Jane smiled in reply. “I think you are far too kind.”
The door to the sitting room slammed open, and Beatrice and Margaret were standing in the frame, fighting to get inside the room first.
Both Jane and Agnes got to their feet.
“What has happened?”
“Is someone hurt?”
Margaret managed to squeeze in first, and she dashed over to where Jane stood.
Beatrice said exasperatedly from the doorframe. “No, no one is hurt.”
Margaret looked as if someone had just brought Christmas early. “Lord Greenshire! He is here!”
Jane and Agnes looked at each other.
“You must be joking,” Jane said, though part of her wondered why Margaret could be so cruel. “There is no way he would have returned.”
“Unless he believed you,” Beatrice said coolly. She shrugged her shoulders. “You are not a liar, sister. He must have seen that for himself.”
Jane started breathing fast and heavy. She clutched at her chest. “Oh, no. What do I say? What do I do?”
Margaret steadied her.
“Just speak to him,” Agnes advised. “You owe him that.”
As if speaking his name had summoned him, Lord Greenshire appeared in the doorway beside Beatrice.
Beatrice looked up at him, for she barely stood at his shoulder, and shuffled to the side to allow him to see into the space.
His eyes quickly found Jane, who had suddenly felt as if she had been dunked into the frigid lake outdoors. Where her heart had been hammering against her ribs moments before, she wondered if her heart had completely stopped.
“We will give you both some privacy,” Agnes said, as she scooped up her son and ushered Margaret out the door. Jane saw Beatrice’s shadow scurrying off after the others.
For a few moments, they simply stared at one another. Jane did not feel as if she could move her limbs at all, or she might fall over from fright.
The silence was driving her mad, though, so she decided that she should speak first. This was all her fault, after all.
“I…” her voice cracked, and she swallowed away the lump that had risen at the back of her throat. “I thought you were never coming back.”
“I thought the same,” he said, his voice also unsteady. “But I could not allow my own selfish feelings to ruin what could possibly be the very best thing to have ever happened to me.”
At first, she was not sure that she had heard him correctly. She expected him to say that he didn’t wish to come back. She even partially expected some sort of scolding or discussion about how much she had hurt him.
But he…thought that he was selfish?
She gaped at him.
He stepped into the room. “I must apologize for my actions. Storming out on you, twice no less, is the most ungentlemanly thing I could have done to you. Especially this last time. You did not deserve such disrespect. I might have been hurt or angry, but that did not give me the right to walk out on you in order to soothe my own feelings. And for that, I am deeply sorry.”
She could not believe what she was hearing. The way she had treated him, and he was apologizing to her? It simply furthered her belief that she did not deserve him.
“As for my behavior throughout the rest of this incident, I must apologize as well. My reaction was unbecoming. I was a fool to believe I was the only man pursuing you, and surely I was not the first. I had not made my feelings clearly known, and I should not have expected you to have known how I felt.”
“I did know,” Jane replied weakly. “I did know, and I still allowed Lord H
ays to pursue me.”
Lord Greenshire shook his head and took a step toward her. “You are not in control of other people’s feelings,” he said plainly.
She shook her head. “No, you cannot take all of the blame for this. I have been insensitive and foolish. How could I have treated you the way I did? How could I not have been…”
“I should have listened to you,” he said. He was standing directly in front of her now. “You were open and honest with me –”
“I don’t know if I would have been if my sisters had not dragged it out of me by teasing me in front of you!”
He smiled at her. “Lady Jane, you did nothing wrong. He approached you, and you spoke to him a few times. Unless…”
She saw fear flicker in his eyes.
“No,” she said immediately. “No, that was it. He did not attempt anything more.”
Thank the Lord.
He said with relief. “See? Then you did nothing wrong. I cannot fault you for falling for the charms of such a man when I had not made my intentions known. I have heard of his reputation, and that is why I was so worried.”
Jane said, “I feel terrible for hurting you.”
“No, I should not have been so sensitive.”
They both laughed softly.
She felt as if she could have flown up into the ceiling and never have come down. It was more than she could have ever hoped for, more than she could have ever wanted as a response from him. She did not know whether she should continue to laugh or to burst into tears.
“I am so pleased that you understand.”
“When you told me about your encounters with Lord Hays, I should have listened to what you wished to tell me. Not every woman would be so forthcoming with the truth. I had time to think about what you said. Lord Hays never deserved my jealousy, and you did not deserve any more pain. I hope that you can forgive me for turning my back to you, as you did not deserve my reaction. I imagine that I caused you a great deal of distress when I left the night I did.”
Jane felt her lip tremble, so she resorted to nodding in reply.
She felt tears well in her eyes. “I had hoped that you could forgive me.”
“Of course I forgive you, my darling,” he replied softly, his hands grasping her shoulders. He squeezed them gently. “Of course. I always will.”
“I had forgiven you as soon as you left. I thought you had every right to be as upset as you were.”
“No, I never have the right to be that upset. And never will I again unless you are in danger or someone has wronged you.”
They looked into each other’s faces, and she wondered, not for the first time, why she had ever looked anywhere else.
“Now,” he said, taking a step back from her, and straightening his jacket. “All of that unpleasantness aside, I have come here with a singular purpose. It was the same purpose for which I came last time, and I do hope that you will allow me to discuss such matters with you.”
His propriety brought joy to her heart. She had spent so many years training and learning how to be a proper lady for this very moment, when a man of high stature would choose her. She squared her shoulders and looked at him with all of the grace and poise she could muster.
“Of course, my lord.”
He smiled. “I had hoped to ask for your hand in marriage. I suppose that my intentions are not a mystery to you, and I dearly hope that you can forgive me for my delay. When I left, I had wondered if it was still the right choice.”
He looked at her in the eye, and held her gaze. “Asking you to marry me was always the right choice. I knew it the moment I walked out of the house, I would still choose you. In every situation, in every way, I shall always choose you, regardless of how I may feel in the moment. I will never be able to forget you, and I shall never be able to move past you. You have been the object of my affections since the moment I met you, and I hope that you know that I have adored the very ground you have walked upon.”
Her body warmed from his touch, as it gave her much comfort. Jane could not take her eyes from his.
“If you will have me, my offer still stands.”
She forced herself to become still again, and she grinned up at him.
“Lord Greenshire, it would be my absolute pleasure to be your wife.”
*****
THE END
A Duke’s Heart for Christmas
Text and Illustration Copyright © 2016 by Caroline Johnson
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictionally. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or locales is entirely coincidental.
First printing, 2016
Publisher
Love Light Faith, LLC
400 NW 7th Avenue, Unit 825
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33302
www.LoveLightFaith.com
A Duke’s Heart for Christmas
By: Caroline Johnson
A Duke’s Heart for Christmas
Chapter 1
July 2, 1814
Eleanor Chatham sat on the wooden pew of the church and tried to concentrate on the sermon. Despite her best efforts, her thoughts drifted to other more tempting subjects. She knew she should feel ashamed, but she was already familiar with the sermon. This morning marked the third time she heard it all the way through, in its entirety. Her father, the Vicar of Lansdowne, had been rehearsing it all week.
In truth, her thoughts were drifting to the invitation to the Summer ball that her family had only just received yesterday afternoon in the post. Eleanor could hardly contain her excitement. Music and dancing brought joy to her heart. Secretly, she also hoped that Mr. Charles Selkirk would finally propose at the ball.
Of course, she knew that was a silly thought, but still, a girl could wish. She smiled as her thoughts turned to Charles. He was so handsome, his dark hair fell into soft waves that framed his masculine face, and his eyes were riveting. She sighed thinking about his steel gray eyes. Lost in her daydreams, she hardly noticed the jab at her side.
Her slightly younger sister, Emma, had elbowed her. Eleanor turned to her sister and raised her eyebrows to question Emma’s actions, but realized that everyone was standing for a hymn. Eleanor quickly stood up. Emma had the hymnal open to the right page and thrust the book in front of her sister. Eleanor could not believe how distracted she was today at church, but the thought of Charles and ball wouldn’t leave her mind.
The congregation sat down and Eleanor’s father gave the final prayer. At the last amen, Emma was overcome with curiosity.
“Eleanor, I have never seen you in such a state, what is the matter?” whispered Emma.
“I am feeling all right; I just was not paying attention,” Eleanor answered in a quiet tone.
“I could see that. You know we have a standard to uphold, especially you.”
“I know, Emma, I cannot account for my behavior this morning. It’s that invitation from yesterday; it has me quite distracted.”
“The Summer ball? I must admit I can think of little else either. I suppose you did have a valid reason this morning,” replied Emma.
Eleanor was often struck by how Emma always said just the right thing and always acted responsibly. She was younger than Eleanor, but she managed to act years older. Eleanor walked out of the church with Emma and was followed by her brother, her other younger sister, and her mother.
The stone church with its high ceilings was cool and dark compared to the bright sunshine and warm temperature in the church garden. Eleanor was enjoying a glass of lemonade under the shade of an ancient oak tree. She enjoyed the receptions held every Sunday in the garden. The food was always delicious, and she had at least an hour of uninterrupted time
spent in the company of Charles.
“Would you like to RSVP, or should I wait for your family’s official reply?” asked Charles as he strode confidently towards Eleanor.
“You are bold; you know I will be there. How could I miss such a grand affair? I may even meet a duke or baron to marry,” She teased.
“I highly doubt that any such noble gentlemen will be attendance at our little party. You may have to content yourself with my company.”
“Oh dear, how will I manage?” she answered in mock indignation.
“Very well, I say. I am the most eligible gentleman in all of Lansdowne,” he boasted.
“I suppose you are right, Mr. Selkirk. You are the son of the highest-ranking member of our society. However, you do face a little competition.”
“Competition? Who can match my handsome features and humble charms?” he said in his loftiest tone.
“Mr. Selkirk, you are a scoundrel. As the eldest daughter of the Vicar, I should pay heed to being seen with you,” she answered as haughty as she could without laughing.
Eleanor and Charles had known each other for many years, ever since Eleanor’s family had moved to the small town. Eleanor was madly in love with him, and yet she was unsure if he shared those feelings for her. He often flirted with Eleanor, but even after all this time, he still hadn’t asked to court her. Worried that he only regarded her as a close friend or sister, Eleanor longed to tell him how she felt to see if his feelings matched her own. But, as a proper young lady, she kept her feelings to herself.
Decorum was not the only reason she felt it impossible to confess her true feelings; she was terrified of the answer he would give. How would she recover if her love was unrequited? They fell into their usual pattern of easy conversation and laughter. She enjoyed every minute of the time she spent in his company.
On the way home from church, Eleanor remained quiet. She pondered every word and action during her exchange with Charles. She tried to find some indication, a clue perhaps, that he felt as she did. It was maddening.
Christmas Wishes: The Love of a Marquess Page 14
