Holding her dress in place, she pushed past Noah and the others and ran towards the lifts. She could hear him behind her, calling her name, making excuses, but she couldn’t turn back, couldn’t listen.
This wasn’t her world, even if Noah and Melissa’s celebrity lives had infiltrated Morwen Hall. Soon they’d be gone and she could get back to quietly living down her mother’s reputation. To her responsible, boring, staid and lonely existence.
It had to be better than the shame and humiliation burning through her right now.
* * *
Noah watched Eloise run away and had to force himself not to chase after her. She didn’t want this—she’d made that clear from the start.
This was his fault. She’d wanted secret and in his desperation he’d ruined that.
And now he had to fix it.
‘So, Noah. Any quote to go with our pictures?’ Sara asked, holding out her phone and showing it was recording. Another part of his life on the record.
He’d wanted to tell the world about him and Eloise. But not like this.
Stefan. The part. He’d promised he wouldn’t do this, promised he’d keep things low-key. And this was pretty much the opposite. The role he’d thought he had nailed—this could ruin everything. Send him back to playing brainless action figures for another seven years. Unless he could convince people that things with him and Eloise were serious, something more than a fling. Maybe then he’d get a second chance from Stefan...
The idea was intoxicating. He could play at love with Eloise, enjoy what they had for a little longer, until it came to its natural conclusion when no one cared and the world wasn’t watching. He could still have everything he wanted if Eloise went along with it, if he lied... He could turn this round, still be the good guy maybe.
But first he had to get a handle on himself, on all the emotions rushing through him at the speed of light. As if, after spending so many years not feeling them, now he’d let them in they were making up for lost time. Embarrassment, fear, anger, lust—they all surged through him, swirling around into a toxic mix that left him close to losing it.
No. He wasn’t that man. He’d never been the celebrity yelling at reporters or causing a scene. He wouldn’t start now—not least because it would only make things worse for Eloise, and he couldn’t do that to her.
Cold realisation flooded through him. The only thing he could really do now was protect Eloise. Even if it meant giving up on the part he wanted so much. Because he couldn’t promise her for ever, couldn’t ask her to act out a sham relationship. Couldn’t break her heart a few months down the line when she realised that what she saw really was all he had to give—there was nothing deeper.
He couldn’t hurt her any more than he had to. And the only way through this with minimum casualties was to lessen the impact of what had happened.
Which meant pretending it was nothing at all.
He couldn’t do it—couldn’t pretend what he and Eloise had was nothing. It might not be everything but it was something. He couldn’t deny Eloise that way, not after everything she’d done for him.
Except he was doing this for her. So he had to.
Maybe he couldn’t. But Noah Cross, celebrity, notorious womaniser and charmer could.
It took only a second to switch on the character—the one he’d been playing since the day Sally died. It was so familiar that, until this week, he might even have said it was the real him.
But it wasn’t. He knew that now. He’d found the person he was underneath all that scar tissue. He just wasn’t sure if he’d ever let him out again, except for when he was in character.
‘What is there to say?’ he said with a shrug and a crooked smile. ‘You know how it is at weddings. All that romance in the air. A fling always makes it a little more entertaining, right?’ He cringed inside as he remembered saying the same thing to Eloise at the welcome drinks. Could that really have only been two days ago?
‘So, it’s nothing serious is what you’re saying,’ Sara pressed.
Noah forced himself to laugh, to sound as light-hearted and as uncaring as he should be about the situation, trying not to think what Stefan would think. ‘Sara, I’d think you—and the rest of the world—know me a little better than that by now.’
‘So, just business as usual for Noah Cross then,’ Sara said. ‘Another wedding, another woman.’
‘Basically.’ This felt so wrong. Even though he was only telling the truth, saying what he and Eloise had agreed should be the case, he could tell by the creeping sense of shame filling him that something had changed.
Eloise wasn’t just a fling. Wasn’t just another woman.
Except she had to be. And he needed to rebuild his walls to keep her behind them before he left.
Especially if he wanted to save her from a mauling in the media and Melissa’s wrath.
‘She’s nothing to me,’ he lied, ‘and I’m nothing to her. Just a spot of fun. Now, if you’ll excuse me...’ He started to move towards the elevators, hoping to catch up with Eloise, but Melissa grabbed his arm and dragged him around the other way.
‘Absolutely! We’ve got a rehearsal dinner to finish, remember, best man?’
‘Right.’ Noah smiled weakly and went back to work.
Eloise would have to wait.
* * *
Another night with no sleep, Eloise thought as the sun peeked over the horizon the next morning, hazy behind the grey winter clouds. And this time for far less satisfaction than the night before.
She hadn’t had the courage to go back to the rehearsal dinner, although she suspected Noah had. She’d heard him banging on her door around midnight, asking her to let him in, but she’d ignored him. Maybe he’d thought she was asleep, or angry, or out. She didn’t care. Eventually he’d grown tired and left her in peace.
Not that it had been very peaceful.
She’d stripped off that wretched dress and curled up in her warmest, softest pyjamas, make-up removed and hair brushed out. She’d cocooned herself in her duvet and tried to forget, tried to sleep. But every time she closed her eyes all she could see was that camera flash and Melissa’s arched eyebrows.
How could she have been so stupid? How could she have put herself in a position to let Melissa humiliate her all over again? Melissa always had to be the queen bee, had to have the highest profile. It was her wedding. Of course she was going to obsess about it being all about her. And, yes, she had Riley—hot up-and-coming star. But in Melissa’s world Noah was a bigger catch, one who’d eluded capture by every woman in Hollywood. Of course she was going to freak out about Eloise—sad, quiet little Eloise—sleeping with him. At her own wedding.
She was an idiot. All she’d needed to do was keep the lid on her libido until the wedding was over. How hard would that have been?
Eloise sighed. Impossible, apparently.
Eventually, she’d given up on sleep and logged onto the Internet on her tablet, refreshing Sara’s magazine pages until the exclusive she’d known was coming flashed up on the screen at last.
There she was. Eyes wide from the camera flash, her hand wrapped over her chest covering her nudity. Noah lay underneath her on the floor, then in later photos stood in front of her, looking mussed but gorgeous. Charmingly contrite having been caught, his shirt open a little too far, his hair ruffled beyond the usual fashionable mess. He could have stepped out of an advert for aftershave, not been caught falling out of a cupboard moments before having sex.
Whereas she... There was no doubt what she’d been doing. She looked exactly the type of girl Melissa had always told people she was.
Why could men get away with that sort of behaviour and women couldn’t?
Bracing herself, Eloise scanned down through all the photos to the text underneath.
Since half of Hollywood has dec
amped to England for the wedding of Melissa Sommers and Riley Black, we can report exclusively from Morwen Hall on all the wedding high jinks! Starting with this gem from the rehearsal dinner—best man Noah Cross has found some entertainment to make the week even more fun than Melissa and Riley planned: seducing the maid of honour!
It went on to detail who she was, how she knew Melissa and why she’d stepped in at the last minute.
Then it got to what really mattered.
So could this be true love for eternal bachelor Noah? Apparently not.
He said, ‘She’s nothing to me, and I’m nothing to her. You know how it is at weddings... A fling always makes it a little more entertaining.’
Looks like we’ll have to wait a little longer to see Noah walk down the aisle himself!
Eloise threw her tablet down onto the covers and wished she’d never looked.
Of course he’d said that. He’d never suggested anything else—in fact he’d said practically the same thing to her at the welcome drinks. She’d known what she was getting into. Like he’d told her the night before—he never gave his women false expectations, never fell for them, and never ever told them he loved them.
He played fair. It was only her heart that had cheated.
She’d been so sure that she could play the same game he did, that it wasn’t the same as her mother’s games if no one mentioned love. But, in the end, she’d ended up exactly where all her mother’s men had: alone, heartbroken, her reputation in tatters and everyone talking about her. It was exactly the way she’d felt after she’d found her mother sleeping with her boyfriend, or the day she’d realised that her university boyfriend had been using her all along—stupid, naive, gullible and humiliated.
She was just where she’d always promised herself she’d never be again. And all thanks to Noah Cross.
Because she’d let herself believe, just for a moment, that what they had could be something more than either of them had promised each other. That it could be for real—not a secret, not a fling, not anything to hide or be ashamed of.
And that moment was all that it took for her to fall head over heels in love with Noah.
Closing her eyes, Eloise fell back against the bed and swore softly. Turned out she really was every bit as stupid and naive as Melissa had always told her she was.
* * *
Noah awoke feeling worse than any hangover had ever left him and he hadn’t drunk more than a glass of wine the night before. He’d stuck the rehearsal dinner out until the bitter end, flinching when Melissa told the guests that Eloise had gone to bed with a headache. By midday they’d all know exactly why she’d gone to bed, he knew, but at least the lie had preserved her peace and dignity for a few more hours.
He’d tried to speak with her after the dinner but there’d been no answer at her door. He hoped she’d been sleeping, but knew it was far more likely she’d been avoiding him. Well, she couldn’t do that for ever.
Forcing himself out of bed, Noah dressed quickly and headed straight for Eloise’s room. He needed to speak to her before anyone else did. Hopefully before she saw the photos on the Internet, for that matter—although, since he’d already had a furious voicemail from Tessa, ranting about him throwing away his chances that morning, that was probably a long shot.
‘Eloise?’ He didn’t want to shout—he knew that attracting more attention to them could only make everything worse—but when she didn’t answer his third knock he had to raise his voice. ‘Let me in, Eloise.’
There was a shuffling noise inside, then she yanked the door open, looking furious under her rumpled red hair. She was wearing what had to be the most unflattering pair of pyjamas in history and Noah realised that it didn’t even matter. She had bags under her eyes as if she hadn’t slept, and mascara on her cheeks, and her pyjamas had pictures of grumpy cats on them, and he still wanted her.
Eloise, however, did not look like she was having the same problem.
‘What are you doing?’ she whisper-shouted at him. ‘Do you want even more people showing up to take photos of me half dressed?’
Noah decided not to point out that the cat pyjamas covered considerably more of her body than last night’s dress. ‘Can I come in?’
Eloise scanned the hallway and, finding it empty, stood aside, still glaring at him.
‘Look, we both have a wedding to get ready for in four hours,’ she said, shutting the door behind him. ‘So, whatever you have to say, make it quick.’
She folded her arms over her chest and stared at him, and all of Noah’s intended words fled. He’d planned to talk about how they could minimise the fallout from last night, how to deal with Melissa today...but instead he found himself saying, ‘I’m sorry. About last night. I know that was the last thing you wanted.’
‘I’m not sure many people want to be caught half naked in a cupboard, Noah.’
‘You’d be surprised.’ If it meant getting their photo taken with him, Noah had found that some women were willing to do anything. But Eloise wasn’t one of them.
She shot him a disgusted look. ‘Of course. I’m sure your many admirers would be grateful for the chance.’
‘That’s not what I meant.’
‘I don’t care.’ She rubbed one eye with her fist and he realised again how exhausted she looked. Had she slept at all? ‘Look, I’ve already seen the photos online, read all the quotes. So kind of you to point out that I was equally indifferent to you, by the way, since, after all, I mean nothing to you.’
Noah winced. ‘I’m sorry, okay? I was trying to downplay it all for your sake! You’re the one who didn’t want to be another woman cast aside and presumably heartbroken when I left them. You wanted to keep it a secret. And, since that was off the table...I figured that this was the next best thing.’ He’d given up his chance at the movie role of a lifetime to try and protect her, and this was the way she thanked him?
Eloise stared at him so long he started to worry he’d grown an extra head while he’d slept. ‘Did you honestly believe that telling them I was just a meaningless fling would help?’
‘You’re the one who insisted that nobody know!’ Couldn’t she see he’d done the best he could in a bad situation? ‘We both agreed this wasn’t anything serious. Just a fling to kill a few days, right? Get the chemistry out of our system. That’s what we agreed.’ They’d had a deal and he’d stuck to it. He’d protected her—at his own expense! So why was he the bad guy?
And why was Eloise staring at him so sadly, her eyes huge and wet and her cheeks pale?
‘You’re a fool if you still believe that,’ she said softly.
Noah’s whole world tilted, for the second time since he’d met Eloise. What was it about her that kept him permanently off balance? ‘What?’
He could see her throat move as she swallowed, as if she was preparing herself for something hard. Something she didn’t want to do.
‘I know what we agreed, what we said. I was there too.’ She met his gaze head-on and he felt it down to his core, past all those carefully built defences he’d put back up. As if they didn’t exist for her at all. ‘But I want more. And I think you do too. Being with you...it’s so different to anything I’ve ever had before.’
‘Well, yeah,’ he said awkwardly. ‘I mean, it would be. My world, the way I live...it’s a new experience for you, I get that. You’ve been hiding out in this hotel for so long...’
Eloise shook her head violently. ‘That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it. I don’t care that you’re a movie star. I don’t care that you’re famous or rich or in demand or even that you’re leaving tomorrow. I care that you spoke to me like you trusted me...that you listened to me when I told you my secrets. I care that you made me see it was okay to come out of my shell, to try new things, to let people see the real me. I care that when you touched me...my whol
e world lit up.’
‘That’s just sex.’ The defence was automatic. Sex he knew. Sex was safe. The other stuff... Any of that he still had left he needed to save for his next movie role—if he got one that was worth anything at all after this. ‘And the talking...I told you. I wanted to get this part and they needed me to act deep.’
‘Are you honestly trying to tell me that everything between us happened because you wanted to win some role in a film?’ She raised her eyebrows as she stared at him, and he knew it was crazy. Knew that what had happened between them transcended not just his career but his life so far.
And that was why it scared the hell out of him. He’d had something close to this once—and he’d lost it the moment he’d admitted to it.
He wasn’t taking the chance of feeling that pain again.
‘You know us actors,’ he said, shrugging as casually as he could. ‘We’ll do anything for a shot at an award.’ Not that he had a hope of that now—but Eloise didn’t need to know that. If she realised what he’d given up trying to protect her she might read something more into it than there was.
Her mouth actually dropped open. A director would tell her she was overacting, but Noah knew better. Eloise didn’t act. She was who she was, and it was glorious.
But he knew something else too. She didn’t believe she was worth it, and he could use that now. Because looking deeper was one thing. Falling in love was another altogether—it would take him all the way into his soul and out the other side and it could burn him up on the journey. If he wanted to hold onto Eloise, that was what he knew it would take—everything.
And he didn’t have it in him any more.
‘You know, the saddest thing is, you might really believe that,’ Eloise said, her voice soft. ‘You might actually believe that you’re just an actor and it’s all just a role. But you’re wrong. I saw the real you, I know it. And I think we could have been happy. I don’t know how it would have worked, or what would have happened next, but we’d have been happy. And it doesn’t matter now because you won’t even try. You won’t let yourself feel anything as real and as deep as love. Even if it could give you everything that’s been missing for the last seven years.’
Slow Dance with the Best Man Page 15
