The Future of Our Past
The Remembrance Trilogy—Book 1
by
Kahlen Aymes
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or locales is entirely coincidental.
The Future of Our Past: The Remembrance Trilogy—Book I
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Copyright © 2012 Kahlen Aymes. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical without the express written permission of the author. The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials.
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ISBN: 978-1-937698-96-6 (eBook)
ISBN: 978-1-937698-97-3 (paperback)
Version 2012.04.18
Sincere and deep thanks to all who took a chance and read my work before I even realized I was a writer. Your love, support and loyalty has meant more than I can ever articulate. Your reviews and love of the trilogy has left me breathless! You overwhelm my heart.
To Kathryn, Ali, Liz and Sally, thank you so much for your time, love and patience in the meticulous task of getting the trilogy ready for print.
Jena and Samantha, who volunteered to help with my blogs and banners at the very start of this journey, I couldn’t have made it this far without you.
Ana, Janice, Tanya, Marie, Bunny, Erin, Maureen, Kelly, Wendy, Sophia, Stephanie, Sydney, Carol, Dani, Danielle, Renata, Jennifer, Ally, Debra,
Sylvain, Irene, Marcelo & Phoebe;
you have become such good friends over the past two years,
and I will keep you close always.
To my little Kacy…You have always been a great joy. I’m so proud of you.
To my parents & the rest of my family, thank you for your faith and love.
Your support means so much.
To the team at Telemachus Press; your professionalism is truly appreciated.
Thank you.
Special thanks to Tony Bartello for lending his voice to the review video, and to all of you who believed enough to launch the dream on kickstarter.com.
The Future of Our Past
Remembrance Trilogy—Book 1
Table of Contents
~1~
~2~
~3~
~4~
~5~
~6~
~7~
~8~
~9~
~10~
~11~
~12~
~1~
Harvard Medical School.
I’d dreamed about it since I was twelve, my parents had dreamed about it since I was born, and now the reality of it was staring me in the face. The acceptance letter fell from my shaking hands as I sank down on the sofa in the apartment I shared with my best friend, Aaron.
He and I had been best friends since we were kids. He moved in with us after his mom and dad were killed in a car accident and, a few years later, my parents legally adopted him.
Now, Julia was my best friend. She was…everything.
I spent most of my college career convincing myself otherwise, but the prospect of leaving her to go to Boston, was sucking the air from my lungs. I literally couldn’t breathe; my chest constricted and heat infused beneath my skin in a flush. My heart was pounding so fast I thought it would fly from my body.
What was I going to do? This was what I wanted, wasn’t it?
Aaron walked in and I didn’t even hear him; I had my hands fisted in my hair and my elbows closed over my face as I sat there motionless, except for the heaving of my chest.
“Dude…what the hell is wrong with you?” Aaron’s deep voice finally intruded on my thoughts.
“Uh…Sorry. When did you get back?”
“Ryan, I’ve been talking to you for five minutes! I got my acceptance letter. Did you?” His tone was excited and he was smiling from ear to ear.
I bent to scoop up the letter from the floor where it had fallen and went to stare out the window. Fall had left the trees barren of their lush leaves, reminding me of what my life would become if I went to Boston; a blank page, without the colors that Julia painted on my life. It seemed so bleak, a wasteland.
We met in a freshman psychology class my second semester at Stanford. I was instantly mesmerized by her flowing dark hair and translucent skin. She had a soft blush on her cheeks and I was drawn to her stunning face; lips that were full and luscious and sparkling dark green eyes. I’d never seen anything more beautiful. She made some sarcastic remark about the lameness of the class and how unnecessary it was for a degree in advertising and marketing. I found myself bursting to speak to her.
“Or most anything…for that matter,” I agreed. Her bright eyes met mine and I was done.
We’d been getting closer as time went on, completely relying on each other for anything and everything…practically inseparable and that was how I liked it.
Three years later, she wasn’t sure where she wanted to live after graduation, and had been applying for jobs at various magazines on both coasts and Chicago. Everything was up in the air, except that she and Ellie planned to move somewhere together. There were only a couple of months until graduation when life would take us in different directions.
We’d talked about it a little, both of us feeling the weight of real life about to intrude on the little Ryan and Julia bubble we’d created, and the discussion had never gotten serious. I sighed loudly as I struggled to expel the emotions threatening to choke me.
“Ryan…what the fuck is your problem? Did you get rejected?”
“No. I, uh, got accepted, too. Congratulations, man,” I muttered as my mind raced.
“You sound like your dog just died. Dude, we just got accepted into the most prestigious medical school in the country! Together! Are you on drugs?” He shoved me in the shoulder.
I tried to smile at him. This was a huge moment for him as well; one that we’d dreamed of sharing since we were boys. A dream that we’d worked our asses off to attain.
“You know I don’t do that shit.”
The door opened and several voices followed. Aaron’s girlfriend, Jenna, Julia and her best girlfriend, Ellie, strode into the living room. They were all laughing and bantering with each other. My eyes flew to Julia. Her face was pink from the cold, her eyes were
sparkling and laughter was falling from her lips. She was so gorgeous, she took my breath away.
Aaron scooped Jen up in a big bear hug. “I made it into Harvard Med!”
She screamed with excitement as Aaron twirled her around.
Julia put down her backpack as she searched my face intently. “Ryan?” she questioned and took my big hand in her little one.
She’d poured over the application with me, helped me organize my recommendation letters and bought me the books to study for the MCATs. She spent hours and hours quizzing me over the course of the past year, and kept me fed while I studied. Knowing what this meant to me, she’d done her best to help me get it.
“Do something about your boy, Jules.” Aaron shouted from across the room as he fell on the sofa with Jenna on his lap. “He’s catatonic.”
“I’m very happy for you, baby,” Jen planted a sound kiss on Aaron’s mouth. Jenna was a nursing student and although Aaron hadn’t proposed, they were tight and I had no doubt she would follow him to Boston.
Ellie glanced between us while Julia continued to look up at me, her face finally splitting into a big smile. “Ryan, you, too. Right?”
I nodded miserably before her arms slid around my waist. Against my will, I leaned my face against the top of her head.
“I’m so proud of you,” Julia whispered against my shirt and her hot breath washed over me through the material.
I felt ill, suddenly sick to my stomach at the thought of not seeing her every day.
She lifted her tear-filled eyes to mine, the luminous green pools drowning me in their depths. “I knew you could do it.”
Her fingers splayed out on the back of my white button down and I wanted to beg her to come with me.
“Thanks to you. You pushed me hard enough.” The coconut aroma from her shampoo surrounded me and her soft hair was like silk against my face.
“What are best friends for?” she murmured as she rubbed my back. I looked down into her face, her features soft and searching. My brow furrowed and my mouth tightened involuntarily.
Yeah, so what the fuck am I going to do without you, then?
“Hey. What’s your deal? You should be over the moon,” she said hesitantly, leaning casually against the counter, concern haunting her features.
I made a half-assed attempt to smile. “I’m a little overwhelmed, that’s all. I’ll be fine once the shock wears off.”
Julia’s right brow rose skeptically. “After the hundred or so all-nighters I pulled with you studying for this crap, I expect you to go in there and kick ass.”
Aaron bounded into the kitchen. “Ellie wants to go to Antonio’s for dinner and then to hear some band. She’s got the hots for that guitar player.”
“His name is Harris.” Julia smiled and turned to Aaron with open arms. “Congratulations!”
Aaron scooped Julia up off of the floor and spun around in circles until she was squealing in delight.
“Uh, Aaron! That’s enough, man. You’re gonna make her sick.” I watched from a few feet away.
“Nah, Jules is tough. She’s put up with you for three years, hasn’t she?” he said as he set her down.
“Yeah,” she nudged me with her shoulder, as she’d done a million times before. It was one of the easy gestures that had become a habit over the years. “Are you gonna get happy or am I going to have to pull out the big guns?”
“And what would that be?” I finally smiled at the goofy look on her face.
“Oh, I don’t know…Black Forest cake or cheesecake?” They were my favorites.
The first time she’d made them for me was when her father had been prosecuting a big murder case and I didn’t want Julia sitting around that big house alone, so I took her to Chicago for Christmas our sophomore year.
“If I mope around enough, will you make both?” I teased her gently.
My heart stopped as her fingers fluttered along my jaw. “That’s better. Yes, if it will make you happy.”
“Yeah, I’m going to starve in Boston.” My throat tightened again. I tried to push the emotion down, hoping she wouldn’t understand my double meaning.
Ellie came in and began hauling Julia away from me. “Come on. We’ve got to go get ready. The boys are taking us out. Right, Ryan?”
Julia rolled her eyes at me and shrugged. I couldn’t help but smile back, she was so damn cute.
“Bye, you guys,” Julia said as she disappeared into the other room. “Okay Ellie, enough. I’ll come willingly, you don’t have to drag me, girl.” The exasperation in her voice was clearly forced. “Jen, if I have to suffer this humiliation, so do you. Come on!”
Jen giggled. “Pick us up at Julia and Ellie’s in two hours. Don’t be late, Aaron Matthews, or I’ll make you pay later!” she called from the other room and then the door shut loudly.
I downed the beer in my hand, Aaron’s face sobered suddenly and I bristled.
“Ryan, aren’t you happy? This is the beginning of the rest of our lives, brother.”
“Yeah, I know.” I shrugged and left the room. He followed, shaking his head.
“Are you gonna tell Julia you’re in love with her? That’s what this is about, so don’t bullshit me,” he said quietly.
I stopped and ran my hand through my hair. “Uh…look, I have to take a shower, so…”
“Ryan! Figure this shit out. You’ll blow Harvard if you don’t have your head in the game and we’ve worked too hard to get there.”
“Yes, I’m going to miss her. It just hit me that I wouldn’t see her every day, but I’ll deal.” I hoped he was more convinced by my words than I was.
“You’ll deal.” His eyes never left mine as he spoke and I could see the incredulity behind them, “And how in the fuck do you propose to do that?”
I took a deep breath and rubbed the stubble along my jaw in an effort to take my mind off of my aching heart. “Well, I’m just going to have to convince her to come with me,” I tried to make it sound like I was joking.
“To be what? Your study partner?” Aaron’s words were harsh and right on target; asking her to follow me was selfish, but I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.
“That isn’t how it is. She’s my best friend. I’d…”
He interrupted me. “You’d what? Tell her that suddenly you’ve had an epiphany? Do you even know how you really feel about her? She’s more than your best friend and you know it. Don’t fuck with her head, Ryan. She deserves better than that!”
I was speechless as I stood there motionless, struggling to find the answers he sought. Leave it to Aaron to be brutally honest.
“I…Uh, I’m…”
“Look, don’t rush into a conversation until you really know what you want,” Aaron went to get a beer and then returned to hear my reply.
“If I wait, she may have a job lined up and there will be no chance she’ll come to Boston.”
“Let’s be honest. The type of companies she’s applying to aren’t in Boston, Ryan.”
I didn’t want to hear his words, but I couldn’t deny their truth either. Julia deserved to follow her dreams as much as I did. I’d have to let her go even if it trashed me; and it would trash me.
I slowly sank into the couch, elbows on my knees, my hands clasped in front of me.
Aaron put his hand on my shoulder. “Julia will always be a part of your life, no matter the distance. But…you should tell her how you feel, for both your sakes.”
I shook my head. “I can’t tell her that I’m in love with her, just to leave her. That’s not fair, Aaron. Besides, I can’t take hearing her tell me she only sees me as a friend. That could ruin the relationship we do have and I won’t risk losing her from my life.”
“You’d rather be her friend and see her marry some other guy…yeah, right,” he said sardonically.
My chest tightened as Aaron continued. “I’ve seen the way you look at her, how you can barely contain yourself from beating the shit out of the guys she dates. Stop lying to yoursel
f!” Aaron’s words, while trying to comfort me, were like acid eating away at my insides and I put both hands through my hair. I couldn’t listen to more of this right now.
“Aaron, enough.”
“She won’t say you’re just her friend, Ryan. Wake up, dude. It’s like you’re married to the girl, only without the sex. Which is a fucking waste, by the way! She’s hot.”
He laughed and then went to his room to get ready, leaving me to struggle with my thoughts. A rush of heat still burned my skin.
Yes, Julia was sexy and beautiful, which drove me mad with desire, but sex would complicate everything and make it more likely I’d lose her if something did go wrong.
As much as I’d wanted to touch her, kiss her, taste her, I’d never let it happen. During the many times when we’d been alone in one another’s rooms, I struggled with not letting her see how deeply she affected me physically. I wanted her; but I wanted to make love to her, not just screw in some weak moment. I needed her love more than I needed her body. As my friend, she was the most important person in my world, and I wasn’t about to screw that up.
Ellie danced around in front of the mirror admiring her short black skirt and bright yellow and black top, clearly too bare for the cool weather. The cute little ankle booties over her black hose were the only sensible choice she made for the evening; though I had to admit, she looked great.
I didn’t get all wrapped up in how I looked or spend hours getting ready. I had better things to do with my time than primp and re-apply my makeup every ten minutes.
Jenna was gorgeous. Her long hair flowed over her shoulders and her red sweater and tight black pants accentuated every perfect curve. She was every man’s dream girl; blonde, perfect hourglass figure, tight ass and big boobs. I smirked as I watched her painstakingly check her appearance.
“Taking Aaron down tonight, hmmm?” I teased as she spritzed perfume onto her wrists and applied bright red lipstick on her full lips.
The Future of Our Past (The Remembrance Trilogy) Page 1
