“Frank,” I said in a warning tone.
“You and your fiancée can growl all you want at me, but there are some things you both need to deal with and accept, and others you need to confront.”
“I don’t want to do this,” I said, standing. “I’ve tried really hard to get to a place where I don’t lose ground to the wolf and you aren’t about to piss us both off by bringing shit up that I don’t want to talk about.”
“Stop hiding behind the damned wolf, Amber.”
“I’m not hiding!”
“You really think you’re gonna keep that thing locked up forever?”
I didn’t. Of course I didn’t. The beast may have been calm now, but I knew it would come back. It would try and take over again and mess everything up, and now that I had my powers back there was no telling how much damage I would do. I just wanted that moment to come later rather than sooner; to allow me a chance to live as myself for a while and maybe figure out another way to stop it from causing damage.
“I can’t keep it locked away forever,” I said, “But—”
“If you had a clear head on your shoulders you would have been able to keep a handle on yourself. That piece of demon inside you? It wouldn’t even have been a problem.”
“How can you be so sure about that?”
“Because when you’re level headed you can do anything. But Collette died and that turned your head into a pretzel, and then the whole werewolf thing happened, and your parents… something inside you cracked. I saw it happen. You need to confront these things, Amber. You need to face them head on, be the Red Witch. Then we can deal with the demon.”
My skin broke out into goosebumps, arms prickling as Frank said ‘the red witch’. Magick? No. This was genuine. The tingles came from inside, from somewhere deep in my psyche; from the part of me that wasn’t tired, the part that needed to fight. “How can you be so sure the demon can wait?” I asked.
“If the demon is around then it means it’s inside someone. Right now, that person isn’t feeling anything because demons like to hide. They don’t want the party to end so soon. We have time.”
“Enough time?”
“If we start now, maybe. But it has to come from you. You need to decide that you’re ready to hear the truth about your father, and that you’re ready to accept Collette’s passing.”
Tears stung my eyes. I didn’t want to think about Collette being gone, didn’t want to think that she wasn’t in the next room, writing, or listening to soft music. But she wasn’t there anymore, and all of her possessions were in my room—sitting in my closet. Every time I tried to picture the room she used to sleep in all I would see in my mind was a crypt filled with ghosts and sadness made manifest.
“Frank… I… can’t leave this place. I’m going to hurt people if I go.”
“You’re going to hurt people if you stay,” he said, “And if we go see your mom, at least we have a shot at fixing you. It’s the right thing to do.”
“You really think this is the best thing for me, Frank?”
“Really, witch? I was being serious as shit. You don’t get to be me and not come out of life knowing a thing or two about confronting inner demons.”
I cupped my face with my hands and ran them through my hair. “You’re sure this will work?”
“I’m about as sure as I’m ever going to get, and whether it works or not is down to you. But not talking to your mom? Not getting answers? That would be a mistake.”
Like a great many times since I had known him, Frank was right about this. The things he was saying felt right. They had a kind of resonance inside me, like they were hitting a key on a piano and my heart was harmonizing perfectly; even if my mind was tone deaf. Confronting my mother about the identity of my real birth father wasn’t exactly my idea of a fun activity.
My father may not have been the kindest of men, or the most understanding. But he had changed my diapers, driven me to and from school, and generally just been there for me. At least while I was his little princess. When I came crashing into my teens, started wearing black, and called myself a witch, he didn’t want anything to do with me. I was sure he only left me the house because it meant they could leave and I would stay here on my own.
Okay, maybe that part wasn’t entirely true, but the guy had left me a house and that had to come from a place of caring.
“I hate this,” I said.
Frank opened his arms and I came up to meet him in an embrace. Hugging Frank was like hugging a thin, pointy tree, but I welcomed the closeness. I could sense the apprehension inside of him, could feel the insecurity, the uncertainty, ebbing from him in a steady flow, but I knew better than to poke and prod at them. If he was hiding something from me, or if he wasn’t telling me something, I knew it was for the better.
I had trusted Frank, before Collette, to be my mentor; I would do it again.
“I’m ready to leave whenever you are,” he said.
“Maybe we should stay here tonight,” I said, “Talk about it with the others, see what they have to say.”
“That’s not a bad idea.”
I nodded. “I’m gonna go find Aaron.”
“And I’m gonna have a shower.” Frank turned, headed for the door, and opened it. “Amber,” he said, looking at me over his shoulder, “If you feel yourself starting to act weird, or you notice anything… strange. Tell me.”
“I’m summoning the Goddess tonight. For protection.”
He nodded and left, shutting the door behind himself. I didn’t relish the idea of there being another demon to deal with, nor did I like the idea that it may be hiding inside any one of us, waiting like a coiled cobra. What I liked least, though, was the probability that of all the people around us at the time it was released, I was probably the one who smelled the best to it.
And I thought my soul was already too crowded.
Chapter Thirteen
Aaron popped the cap off the beer bottle with his thumb and handed it to Jackal. They clinked, and each took a swig of their bottles. The beer was cool and refreshing, exactly what Aaron’s hot throat needed, and he enjoyed a couple of swallows before putting the beer down on the familiar counter. Everything about this place felt like home, and Aaron could feel the tension ebbing away from him.
All that remained now was guilt.
“Thanks,” he said to Jackal.
“For?”
“For helping me out. With Amber.”
“You didn’t honestly expect me to run, did you?”
“I guess not.”
Jackal took another sip of beer. Her bottle glimmered in the moonlight. Artificial light, they thought, wasn’t necessary. “Your boys got out of that house pretty fast, though,” she said in jest.
Aaron couldn’t help but smile, but after a moment or so the smile felt forced; like he was putting on a ridiculous hat because his mom had knitted it. “I guess they did. Those guys can run.”
“Not a bad thing given what’s sitting upstairs. You handled yourself pretty well though. I’m impressed.”
“Impressed?”
“There’s only one thing a werewolf’s instincts hate more than silver, and that’s fire. You didn’t flinch.”
“You did?”
“A little. I guess I just wasn’t expecting her to burst into flames.”
“I wasn’t either.”
“Rocky has a phobia of flames. For all his size, he’d have been out of that house and three miles down the road in a heartbeat. You stuck with it.” She raised her bottle. “That’s something to drink to.”
Aaron took his bottle, repeated Jackal’s gesture, and drank deep, but he knew then he would need a truckload of beer to drown the pang in his stomach. How could he have forgotten a werewolf’s instinctual reaction upon meeting a stranger? He had reacted to Jackal’s presence and then to the rest of her pack. Why did he think Amber would be any different?
He didn’t. That was the problem. The thought never even crossed his mind. This w
as just bad leadership.
“You never did tell me what happened with you and your dad,” she said.
“Huh?” Her words had snapped him out of a trance.
“The day you left, you just left.”
“It was my time to go.”
“Marcus said he’d offered you a spot in the pack and you’d turned it down.”
“He did.”
“So? That tells me there’s a story there.”
An old wound ripped open and angry heat spilled out of it like steam into the cold air. He talked, Aaron thought. Marcus must have been put in a position where he had to speak after Aaron left, but he could have come up with a story. Should have come up with a story. Why did he talk to Jackal? Why did he feel the need to say anything at all?
“I don’t want to go into it,” he said.
“You know I’ve never accepted that kind of thing.”
“You’re going to have to.”
“No. I refuse. And the more you tell me to back off, the more I want to know, the worse it’ll get. You can trust me on that.”
Like a dog with a bone. “What do you want me to tell you?”
“Everything. Now quit stalling.”
Aaron sighed. “He told you he had offered me a spot,” Aaron said, “And that I had turned it down.”
“Already know this. Next.”
“He didn’t tell you which spot?”
“I have a hunch.”
When Aaron went for the bottle again he almost knocked it over. His hand wasn’t exactly shaking, but his emotions were running hot. He had kept this a secret from everyone—even Amber—since he left Vegas and had told himself he would never tell anyone what happened that day, for his own good and for the good of Marcus’ pack. But Jackal wasn’t going to let it go, and she’d end up resenting him if he didn’t speak.
Dammit.
“He wanted me to stay and take over the pack.”
Jackal took a swig of her beer but she didn’t say anything.
“Told me he was getting long in the tooth and that someone would need to step up and follow in his footsteps.”
“Traditionally, a role taken by the beta.”
“That’s what I said.”
“But you didn’t say it because of me, because I’m beta. You said it because you don’t want anything given to you.”
“I think you know me a little too well.”
“You forget we’re blood. Distant blood, but blood.”
“I don’t forget.”
“What happened next?”
Aaron finished his beer and rode the cool, refreshing wave to the shores of calm. “He asked me why I really didn’t wanna stay. I told him it was because I hadn’t earned it. He said I had too much of my mother in me. Asked me to fight him. I refused.”
“You refused his challenge.”
“It wasn’t a challenge. He wanted to prove he was better than me, that the only way I could ever succeed him was if he wanted me to.”
“Then what?”
“He told me to ditch the girl and claim my birthright.” Jackal’s eyes narrowed. Was she trying to figure out what happened next before Aaron continued the rest of the story? Or maybe she was trying to figure out what she would have done in that situation. Aaron thought she would have done the same thing he did. “So I broke his nose.”
Jackal choked on a swig of beer. “Jesus, really?” Her eyes lit up and a smile conquered her face. “What did he do?”
Why isn’t this bothering her? “We went at it for a couple of rounds,” he said, “When he’d had enough I left him to fix himself, took my car, and went home.”
“Explains why you didn’t say goodbye.”
Aaron took a beat. “Why aren’t you more pissed off about this? He was going to give me the pack over you.”
“I’ve been dealing with your dad’s chauvinism for a long time. The pack is a boy’s pack. I have to kick ass harder than the rest of them just to keep my place, but I always knew Marcus would try something like this to keep me away from the Alpha spot. He’ll die before a woman runs his pack.”
“That must suck.”
“It does suck, but I don’t have a choice do I? Going nomad—becoming a lone wolf—that’d kill me. For what it’s worth, I would have been okay with you replacing your dad.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Don’t get me wrong; I’d have made you my bitch. But I would have called you my Alpha, too. And considering you beat your old man, maybe I should.”
Aaron caught the humorous tone in her voice, but the bitterness was there. It was like taking a swig of beer and getting more foam than beer.
“I’m not your Alpha,” he said, “Out here, we’re equal.”
Jackal nodded, and then tilted her head to the side. She had heard the same footsteps he had. When Aaron checked over his shoulder, Amber was there. His chest warmed, but his stomach cooled. And that strange mixing of internal temperature made Aaron start to vibrate. Nerves? Yeah. Nerves.
“I’ll leave you guys,” Jackal said, pushing off the counter.
“You can sleep on…”
“It’s okay,” Jackal said before Amber could finish. “I’ll make myself scarce for a while and crash on the couch.”
Amber nodded.
“Thanks for letting me stay.”
“It’s the least I can do.”
Jackal nodded and went through the door into the garage where her bike was, leaving Aaron and Amber alone. She looked at him for a moment, and in the moonlight almost looked ghostlike, surrounded by a shimmery, silver aura. When she smiled her face filled the room with light, but it was light Aaron couldn’t return.
She approached, slowly, and wrapped her arms around his neck. On her tiptoes she reached, searching for his lips, and found them with her own. She was warm, soft, and almost weightless in his hands. And when he smelled the tears on her face he wiped them away, but the smile remained. These weren’t sad tears; they were tears of relief.
“I’ve missed this,” she said, tilting his head closer to hers.
“I have too,” he said, whispering.
“You’ve been through so much because of me.”
“Don’t say that. I’m the one who did wrong today.”
“You didn’t.”
“I should have known how you would react to Jackal. I should have prepared things better.”
“No one can blame you for what happened. I don’t. Frank doesn’t. Neither does Damien or even Jackal. You can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, Aaron, no matter how much you may want to.”
“I still should have done better, Amber,” he said, “If I had, maybe this would be finished by now.”
“We don’t know that. And in any case, I feel better. I feel… different.”
Aaron pulled his neck away from Amber’s hands so he could look into her beautiful green eyes. They were sharp, now, but they weren’t the yellow eyes of the killer lurking beneath her skin. It was nowhere to be seen, though the scent remained. Always the scent would remind Aaron of the truth; that Amber, like he and Jackal, would kill if she had the chance.
“What is it you feel?” he asked.
“Quiet. My mind’s been so full and so chaotic I know silence when I feel it. You did that, didn’t you?”
“I… don’t know that I did.”
“I remember. I don’t always remember what happens when I lose it, but I remember you. I remember seeing you through its eyes and feeling… safe.”
So Aaron had gotten through to it after all. “That’s good,” he said, “Hold on to that for as long as you can. It might buy us enough time so that Frank can find the demon and try the ritual again.”
“I don’t know if that’s going to help.”
“What?”
“Frank can’t do the ritual again. He only had one shot and it failed. Even if he found the demon, he wouldn’t be able to use the exact same ritual. The risk to him becomes huge. I can’t allow that.”
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“Even if it means potentially ridding you of this thing inside of you and bringing you back to normal?”
“There might be another way.”
Another way. Aaron liked the sound of that. Frank had seemed pretty convinced his ritual was the only way to fix Amber, but another way was better than no choice at all. “Let’s hear it.”
“Frank thinks this demon will hide for a while, meaning that we have time to figure out where it’s gone. When we find it, Frank can use my power to snatch it up and imprison it again.”
“Your power?”
“He seems to think I have enough power to pull it off, but I have to be ready first… and that means I have to find out the truth about my father.”
Amber and Aaron hadn’t had a chance to talk about her past since… ever. The truth was clear from the moment Amber’s skin exploded and the wolf came howling out of her. She had spoken about her mother being a witch, but had never mentioned her father being a wolf.
“What does your father have to do with this demon?”
“It has nothing to do with the demon. It’s about me. I’m… my mind is broken.”
The tears were starting to come. Aaron wiped them away with his thumbs. “Don’t say that,” he said.
“It’s the truth. Collette dying, my transformation, my father; it all messed me up. If I had been myself, I could have controlled this power and none of this would have happened. I need to see my mom and learn the truth, but I need you with me. You’re the only one who can get through to my wolf. The only one who can keep everyone safe.”
“If something happens,” Aaron said, “You’re going to have to be prepared to tell the truth about you. About us. About everything that’s going on. She’ll have questions.”
“I know.”
Aaron nodded. “I don’t understand a lot of the things you and Frank know so instinctively. You tell me there’s a demon around and my first thought is let’s go to a fucking priest and get it out.”
“This thing is powerful. Before a priest gets authorization to do an exorcism it could have…”
The Amber Lee Boxed Set Page 95
