The chair clamored back to the floor and his mouth hung open.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I squirmed, “I’m not crazy. This is a rational idea. We’re adults. We can have sex without it complicating things.”
“So…” He started, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe what I’d said. “You want us to be friends…with benefits.” His lips twitched with laughter.
I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin defiantly. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“You’re serious?” He sobered, his expression back to shock.
“Very serious.”
He looked at me carefully, like he was searching for any sign that I might be lying.
“Sadie—”
“Don’t say no yet,” I pleaded, “and don’t say yes either. Just…just think about it. Please?”
He breathed in shakily. “Okay.”
I was surprised he agreed to that so readily. I expected him to slam me with a firm no and tell me there was no way he would ever sleep with me.
I wanted so much more from him than sex, but I knew he would never cross that particular line with me.
But sex, he might.
Sex did not a relationship make.
Four days passed and neither one of us peeped a word about my proposal. I was too embarrassed to bring it up, and I guessed he’d been counting on that.
I turned on the TV switching it to Hallmark and sat down to watch whatever sappy movie they were playing. I needed a good cry and a bowl of cookie dough ice cream—which reminded me Ezra had mentioned picking some up at the grocery store. Well, actually his groceries were delivered so he could avoid getting mobbed at the store, but logistics.
I didn’t bother with a bowl. I grabbed the gallon carton of ice cream, a spoon, and made my way to the couch. Despite the fact that it was eighty degrees or more outside I was dressed in sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and had a blanket wrapped around me like a burrito.
I needed comfort in my time of sorrow and warmth brought me that.
Although, I was positive Ezra’s warm body wrapped around mine would bring me a lot of comfort.
Fuck.
I had to stop thinking about him like that.
It was never going to happen and it only made me depressed thinking about it.
Especially, after that kiss.
Oh, sweet Lord, that kiss.
It had been everything dreams were made of.
It was downright magical.
I’d felt it all the way down to the tips of my toes.
And even now, almost two weeks later, my lips still tingled from the bruising pressure of his possessive mouth.
I shoveled a mouthful of ice cream between my lips and focused my eyes on the TV screen.
No more thoughts about Ezra.
Which should be easy, since he wasn’t home. So it wasn’t like he was sitting around tempting me or anything.
But I was always tempted when it came to him.
My God I wanted to lick him all over like I was currently going after this ice cream.
I had problems.
I put the ice cream away. It was making things worse.
I burrowed into the couch once more and this time I did manage to get sucked into the movie. It also made me cry, so bonus points for that.
It ended and another one came on. I lay down with my head on a pillow and tried to keep my eyes open.
As a teenager I’d been wild.
As an adult, this was as exciting as my Saturday’s got.
I was pathetic.
I needed more excitement in my life than sitting around watching Hallmark movies.
I startled from my thoughts when the front door opened.
“Hey,” Ezra said in greeting, his back to me as he closed the door.
“Hi.” I squeaked. Yes, squeaked like a mouse.
He set the case he kept his bass in beside the door. The guys were already working on their new album as much as they could, but things were slow since their personal lives kept complicating things.
“What are you watching?” He came around from behind the couch and lifted my legs before sitting down and placing them in his lap.
“I have no idea,” I answered honestly.
He tapped his fingers against my leg and focused on the TV.
“Are you seriously going to watch a girly movie with me?” I glanced away from the TV at him, raising a brow.
His gaze swiveled in my direction. “Sure, why not?” He shrugged. “I don’t have anything else to do.”
“Okaaaay, then.” I drew out the word, looking at him like he’d grown another head.
“Hey, I can watch a chick movie and not shrivel up and die.” He defended, scrunching up his face to appear mad.
I tried to hide my smile but it was impossible.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“I would never laugh at you,” I scoffed.
“You definitely are.”
Before I could respond he pounced on me. Giggles burst forth from me when he tickled my stomach.
“Stop! Stop!” I pleaded between bouts of laughter.
“You have to promise never to laugh at me ever again.” He grinned, moving to my side where I was even more ticklish.
“I promise!” I cried. “Please stop tickling me!”
Miraculously his assault ceased. We were both panting and out of breath, although I had no idea why he was so breathless.
His hands moved down from my sides, over my hips, and stopped at my thighs.
My throat closed up as his thumb rubbed slow circles against my thigh.
His chocolate colored eyes darkened even more.
My heart sped up and I struggled to find my voice. “What are you doing?” I finally asked.
His tongue flicked out to moisten his lips and his eyes remained steady on mine.
“Accepting your proposition.”’
My body clenched all over and I ceased breathing. “What?” Surely I didn’t hear him right.
“I’m accepting your proposition,” he repeated.
Sweet baby Jesus. Was this real life? I had to be dreaming, right?
I pinched myself.
Yes, it was real life.
Ezra chuckled, the sound of it vibrating through my body. “Did you just pinch yourself?”
I nodded my head. I had no words. Every single word in the English dictionary had fled my mind.
He chuckled again, hovering above me. “You don’t believe me, do you?”
I shook my head.
“I guess I’ll have to show, not tell.”
Before I could inhale my next breath his lips were on mine and he became my oxygen. My fingers tangled in the silky soft strands of his hair and I let out a small moan as his hips ground against mine.
“Are you sure?” I asked between kisses.
“Abso-fucking-lutely.”
He gathered me in his arms so that he was sitting on the couch and I was straddling him.
He cupped the back of my neck, holding me to him as he kissed me thoroughly.
A rush of emotions flooded my veins.
Excitement.
Lust.
Fear.
His hands moved lower, to the hem of my sweatshirt and he pulled it over my head, revealing my thin tank top. He cupped my breasts and let out a satisfied growl when he discovered I wasn’t wearing a bra.
He kissed his way down my neck and then back up.
I leaned forward to kiss him when he stood up with me gathered in his arms. My legs automatically wound around his waist and I held on tight to his neck.
“Where are we going?” I panted the words.
“To my bed. Did you really think I was going to have sex with you on the couch?”
“We’re having sex now?” The words came out as a screech.
He topped the stairs and stepped into his bedroom. “Only if you want to.”
He set me down on his bed and took a step back, waiting for me to make up
my mind.
I kept running through silly thoughts in my head. Like, did I brush my teeth? What about my hair? Oh my God, did I shave?
Finally I said, fuck it, and dismissed every last one of them from my mind.
I stood up and grabbed his t-shirt, pulling it over his head. He continued to stand there, not touching me. He tilted his head to the side, waiting.
I knew he wouldn’t do anything until I gave him permission.
My palms pressed against his chest and slid down, stopping at the belt that held his jeans on his narrow hips.
“I’m not walking away,” I breathed, “this is what I want.”
“We’re really going to do this?” He asked, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Once we cross this line we can’t go back.” He stared down at me from his looming height, as if he was hoping he could intimidate me into chickening out.
“Just shut up and kiss me.”
Surprisingly, he listened.
He lowered his mouth to mine, sealing our lips together in a soul-stealing kiss.
He backed me up until the backs of my knees bumped into his mattress.
I lowered onto the bed and he followed, his body blanketing mine.
My heart beat in an out of control rhythm as his hands snaked under my tank top and he touched my bare skin.
A shiver raked my body and he smiled against my lips.
“Lift your arms,” he commanded.
I did as he asked and he pulled the tank top off, throwing it into the corner of his room.
I resisted the urge to hide my body.
I’d never been shy or self conscious before, but I suddenly felt that way.
He pulled back, his eyes skimming over my body hungrily. I shivered and Goosebumps dotted my skin.
His lips pressed lightly against my neck and he murmured, “You’re so beautiful.”
I closed my eyes, letting his words sink in. I grasped onto them, believing them because of the depth of his conviction when he spoke them.
My breath came out in a short gasp when his lips trailed between the space between my breasts and down lower. His fingers found the waistband of my sweatpants and he yanked them off forcefully like he couldn’t wait to get to what was underneath.
He grinned when he saw my underwear. “Iron Man? Really?”
“Every girl wants Tony Stark a.k.a. Robert Downey Jr. in her pants.”
He snorted. “Well, I’m the one getting into your pants so…”
“Robert was here first.” I snapped the band of my underwear.
He growled and with a sharp pull he removed them as well.
I pouted. “You better not have ripped those. They’re my favorite pair.”
“I’ll buy you new ones,” he promised, covering my body with the heat of his as he kissed me all over.
My fingers tangled in his unruly mane of hair when his mouth found my center. “Oh God,” I panted in a long moan.
Lights sparkled behind my closed lids as his tongue swirled around and around. It had been far too long since I’d had sex and my body was overly sensitive to every stroke of his tongue and fingers. I felt like a rocket, ready to go off at any second once the right button was pushed.
“Ezra.” I panted his name like a prayer.
I felt him smile against me and his fingers crooked inside me.
“Oh God,” I moaned as my orgasm hit me. My whole body shook and he held tightly to my thighs so I couldn’t get away.
He kissed his way back up my body and took my lips between his own. My heart pounded in my chest like a caged bird fighting to get free.
With shaky hands I framed his face.
“I want you inside me,” I begged. I’d been waiting for this moment for what felt like years, and now that it was here I didn’t want to wait a second longer.
“Eager, are we?” He chuckled, kissing the sensitive skin behind my ear.
“Very.”
He kissed me again, long and deep, imbedding himself on my heart and soul. I would never be the same after this, but I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want to. I needed this—I needed him—more than I needed my next breath.
Once my lips were tender from his kisses he pulled away from me and stood up.
I swallowed thickly and watched as he walked the two short steps over to his bedside table and grabbed a condom.
The rush of my blood roared through my ears as it raced towards my heart.
He stood in front of me, his eyes capturing mine as he reached down and undid his belt oh-so slowly. Next, his fingers went to the button and then the sound of the zipper going down on his jeans filled the silence between us.
He reached out, grazing his fingers against my bare thigh and I shivered.
Raising a brow he stepped forward and bent down so his lips brushed my ear when he spoke. “This will change everything.”
“This changes nothing.”
Neither one of us believed my words, but both of us were too needy to back out now.
He crawled back until he towered above me once more.
I held my breath in anticipation of what was to come.
He kicked off his jeans and removed his boxer-briefs, leaving himself bare to my viewing pleasure. I licked my lips and he chuckled.
“Like what you see, sweetheart?”
I sat up and my hands landed on his chest. His skin was heated and his heart beat as fast as mine. At least I wasn’t the only one affected and we’d barely even started.
My eyes flicked down taking in the impressive length of his cock.
Gazing back up at him I said, “I like it…a lot…but don’t call me sweetheart ever again.”
He grinned and stuck the foil condom wrapper between his teeth, ripping it open. “Whatever you say…sweetheart.” He winked.
My heart stuttered and then stopped before picking up speed once more.
“Lay down.” He commanded in a soft voice.
I wasn’t one to take orders, but I listened to him.
Once I was lying down he grabbed my thighs and pulled me to the edge of the bed. He’d already put the condom on, but he didn’t push into me. Instead, he stared down at me and several emotions flashed in his dark eyes. I was terrified that he was going to back out and leave me naked and wanton on his bed, but he didn’t.
He grabbed the base of his cock and guided it inside me.
My body tensed all over at the delicious pleasure coursing through my body.
With one hard thrust he was all the way inside me. We both gasped and then I swore he said, “It’s better than I fucking imagined.”
“What did you say?” I wanted to hear him repeat them so that I’d know I wasn’t crazy.
“Nothing.” His teeth gnashed together and a vein pulsed in his forehead.
His hands tightened around my thighs.
“Uh…Ezra?”
“Yes?” He ground out between his teeth, his head ducked so that his dark curly hair concealed his eyes.
“This is the part where you should be moving your hips. Just saying.”
He let out a breathless chuckle and raised his head to look at me. “Sadie, if I move I’ll blow my load like a fourteen year old kid. Bear with me for a minute.”
“Well, we can’t have that.” I took a deep breath and let my body relax.
He shuddered and slowly pulled back before sinking back inside me.
My eyes closed and a long moan left my parted lips. My hands landed on his shoulders and when I opened my eyes he was staring at me with a look of awe, his mouth slightly parted.
“Kiss me,” I pleaded. Not only was I desperate for the feel of his lips on mine and his stubble rubbing my face, but I needed him to stop looking at me like that, because that look…it showed me more than he was willing to give and I refused to get my hopes up.
He brushed his lips against mine in the lightest, most fleeting of kisses and I groaned out loud. My fingers fisted around his silky hair, holding him to me as I arched my neck to kiss him more fully. A growl
vibrated in his chest and his teeth nipped my bottom lip. His hands roamed over my hips, down my sides, before he palmed my breasts. I moaned when he rubbed his thumbs over my nipples.
“Fuck,” he growled, his lips sucking against my neck. “This is everything.”
My hips lifted to meet his and I saw stars behind my eyes.
I’d never known sex could be like this, and if I had I think maybe I wouldn’t have given up my virginity at such a young age. He was right when he said this was everything.
His hands left my breasts and he grabbed my hips, lifting them off the bed. He hit something deeper inside me and I let out a small cry.
He paused, his face tightening with the effort it took to hold back. “Are you okay?” Sweat clung to his skin and the pupils of his eyes were dilated.
“Yes,” I panted, “don’t stop. Please, for the love of God don’t stop.”
With a deep exhale he let himself go and we both became lost in the feeling of each other.
He was wild and unrestrained as he fucked me. It was a beautiful sight to see and to know that I made him come undone like that.
I felt myself building to another orgasm and I gasped when it hit, my back arching. Ezra watched me with a look of awe and delight. A moment later he reached his own peak. He growled lowly, a curse passing between his lips, and his fingers dug harshly into my thighs. I wouldn’t be surprised if it bruised.
He collapsed against me, his head buried in the crook of my neck. Our bodies stuck together from our perspiration and he was careful to brace his weight on his arms so he didn’t crush me.
After a long moment he sat up slightly and kissed me deeply.
He took my chin between his fingers and forced me to look at him. My chest rose and fell harshly with each gasping breath I took.
His tongue flicked out over his lips and he breathed, “I think this is the best idea you’ve ever had.”
I smiled and said, “Yeah.”
Even though I already knew this was the worst idea I’d ever had, because I was dangerously close to falling in love with my best friend and I’d only end up with my heart broken.
I SAT ON the dock, dangling my bare feet out over the water. The sun warmed my exposed skin and I reached up to adjust my sunglasses.
In Your Heart Page 13
