by Missy Lyons
"When will you accept that I am your destiny? I will give you anything you need, everything you want.” Just not your freedom. Never that. I could never let you go now that I found you, he thought to himself.
"When you accept that I don't want to be just a physical outlet. You just want me because of my skills as a courtesan. What I said about my powers hurting you is not unfounded. If I was worked into a frenzy, I could hurt you, and I won't live with that on my conscience."
"It needs an outlet. Your magic has to be used. It needs food and exercise just as your body does. Let me be your outlet. Let me be the food your magic eats, the air it breathes.” He dropped a kiss on her shoulder. She jerked violently away from his touch.
"Xanther,” her voice warned.
"Yes?"
"I think you have helped enough, milord.” Alyssa turned to face him, stopping his roving hands with her own, carefully prying the wet bar of soap from his fingers. “I think you don't know much difference between love and lust."
"I am a mature man. I know what I want and right now I want you."
"I have no doubt you want my body, that you want me to please your carnal desires. It can only help that I have been trained in the tantric art of sex. The Elisaid gave me skills to tempt a man and I have no desire to seduce you. You or any other man."
"Such as?"
"You want a demonstration?"
"Feel free to seduce me. I'd like to sample your legendary skills."
"Fine. But this won't change things between us. I still don't want you as a lover. You can look—but no touching. Can you handle that?"
He nodded in response. His lips were thinly pursed, but he gave no other outward sign of emotion.
She lifted one long leg up out of the water, running the bar of soap in a line from the point of her toes to the soft flesh under her knees. Then after searching his face she returned to give the same sensual attention to her other leg.
"Are you sure you can handle just looking?” She gave him a come hither look.
"Are you ready to let me touch you, or are you just teasing me?"
On the outside, he masked his desire with a cool aloofness that challenged her. She arched her neck, beckoning his kiss. “No. I guess I just want to see if you are made of stone as you seem to be."
Her leg slipped back into the waters as her hand slipped the soap to run up the inside of her thighs. His lack of response was maddening to her. She stood, letting the water drip from her body, washing her limbs with a deliberately leisurely pace. She sent him a sexy invitation with her eyes, and he did not react.
He was a model of restraint. She shimmied and showered herself with water and suds. It almost made her question whether he wanted her for just her body or her skills. His reaction or lack of reaction actually made her question his desire for her at all.
She let her body slide back into the water, arching her neck to wet her hair and face. She smoothed the water droplets away from her eyes and blinked up at him. Smiling, she cocked her head slightly and decided it was time to break out the big guns. She remembered her first night with Xanther wondering how their relationship would have changed if she had given into her ardor. She wouldn't be thinking of what another kiss may have lead to, nor would she be thinking so hard on how it made her feel. Alyssa felt that same pressure return between her thighs and snake into her gut.
The pressure made her rub the lather up harder than necessary to cover her chest. Her nipples hardened to firm little peaks. The water lifted her breasts to float just above the water. That strange pressure in her belly snaked lower. Without thinking of what she was doing Alyssa reached down between her legs, letting one hand rub on the apex of her sex, slightly alleviating some of the pressure.
She moaned in delight, letting the waves of desire take her to greater heights.
She enjoyed the way the water filled her and eddied about her. She let her fingers brush in slow languorous circles, before slipping a finger in herself, sighing with pleasure. Alyssa let out a small moan. She closed her eyes to feel the delicious waves of sensation pour over her body.
"You can leave now."
Lust clenched a fist around him and squeezed hard.
"I don't want to leave. I want to make the most incredible love to you."
She had a hard time wanting to say no again.
He implored her with his eyes, “I want to take you to paradise, and make you never want to leave the bed again."
"You said you wouldn't touch."
"Funny, but I don't remember saying that,” Xanther said in a restrained voice.
Alyssa regretted the tension she caused between them yet again. She looked away to avoid his eyes. “I don't want you here."
"Prove you don't want me. Kiss me, ma Kerima. Show me you don't feel the heat between us."
If Xanther knew how much she wanted him, he may not have been willing to be so patient this afternoon. Her indecision must have shown in her eyes. Alyssa stood, intending to leave the bathwater, and he wrapped the towel he held in his hands around her. He kissed her fiercely, taking advantage of her soft lips still parted in protest. His embrace was strong and protective. His passionate kiss elicited a tremble of desire in her.
His lips were only inches from hers when he spoke again, “Do you still want me to leave?"
"Yes,” she declared, suddenly breathless. It was a lie that she had a hard time saying.
She regretted the word as soon as he left her embrace. He left her alone in the room, but not before she saw the pain in his eyes. It was true, she wanted the man with an unreasonable hunger. A hunger she never felt before. A hunger he professed to share. Why should she deny them both, when it felt so right?
Alyssa watched him leave while her heart twisted in agony in her chest. She wanted to tell him to stay. Her body still ached with a suffering hunger. He offered to sate it. He would willingly feed it.
But a broken heart was the last thing she needed. So she fought the desire to go after him with every fiber of her being.
* * * *
Elsbeth's hands crept up to Liam's chest. Her hand was over his heart. Was that his heart racing or hers? He looked so calm, so full of the control she felt lacking. His hand caught her wrist, stopping her explorations.
Her eyes were mesmerized by his luminous eyes. What kind of man had golden eyes? Surely they were brighter than the sun, wide with courage? Or was it lust he was feeling right now? Desire? Just what was he feeling right now?
She reached out with her mind, but his mind was black, a blank canvas. Whatever he felt he was not sharing those feelings with her. He let go of her hand, and they both let their hands return to their sides.
"Why do you reject me? When I reach out, you stop me again and again."
His eyelids dropped, cloaking what few feelings she could read there. He always kept his mind shielded to her. Now he was pushing her body away and her mind. Had it been some kind of game he had played with her; he said he was interested when they first met. She thought she felt some connection, but he didn't act like he felt the same way. If he wanted to play games with her like this, then he could play those games by himself.
"Oh, just never mind then.” She turned to walk away, hoping she could put him out of her mind.
She wanted to forget him. She was angry at herself for wanting a man who could be so cold to her. It was humiliating and stupid to be chasing after someone whom she could never have.
"Elsbeth, wait.” There was a pain in his voice and she felt a cruel desire in her to inflict more pain. She wanted to see him hurt. Let him feel some of the pain he had caused her.
If she could give him pain, maybe then he would know how it felt. Her own chest clenched with the double-edged sword and her words. “Why bother? You have made it clear how you feel.” She wanted her voice to be hard. More like a sneer, but when it came out it was soft and filled with her own pain.
"That is the problem—"
"No—there's no problem. No problem at al
l. You have made your position clear and I'll try not to bother you again.” But she was stopped by his hand pulling her back to return to him.
"You're no bother,” he growled and that was when her world spun out of control and the grounds came out from under her.
His arms steeled around her waist, caging her in an embrace that she welcomed with a shiver. He swooped down on her lips with a fierce and dominating kiss that claimed her lips and her heart.
She answered his growl with one of her own, demanding to be possessed. She felt her knees tremble, welcoming the warm embrace that held her tight against his body. Her hands went up to his face, pulling him down into her, running through his soft hair. His armor pressed hard into her breasts, and his sword rode her hip. Still she felt such a hunger and desire to feel him that she pressed against the discomfort to feel what she could of his body.
She arched against the lean muscular man that had been haunting her dreams and her thoughts, holding onto the one thing that brought her sanity. He did want her. The kiss could mean nothing else.
So what was he fighting when he said no to their trysts? He backed off of her lips, almost as confused as she was. She felt such a pressure and a heat in her core, tendrils of fire that burned her skin where they touched. She never felt so alive; her nerves tingled, her skin sang with sensations, demanding more.
He just stood there, staring into her eyes and allowing no more to pass between them. But that kiss unfurled a beast in her that growled at his complacency. She wanted him, she felt it to her core, and no other man would do, now that she tasted his fire.
"Elsbeth, you have to understand, I may not be strong enough to let you go if I have you. Is that what you want?"
"But all I can give you is a short time, and you have to already understand the curse to not want more."
* * * *
Her bath left her refreshed but she still felt unsatisfied. It was Xanther that raised her temperature. She didn't even try to find satisfaction with her own hands. She wanted him between her thighs instinctively knowing little else would bring her satisfaction.
Her year among the Elisaid had taught her to be more comfortable with her body, how to take her pleasure and give pleasure. She still felt a measure of guilt. Good girls just didn't do this sort of thing in the society she had been raised in for twenty years.
Sarah must have left the gown on the nightstand for her to wear. It was beautiful. A satin blue with slippers to match. It was stunning. A gown fit for royalty, the bodice was low-cut and smocked in a wonderful diamond pattern across the bodice. Oh, but it was scandalous, with an open back that would reveal her mark openly for the castle to see. No, she would definitely not be wearing that dress.
Still her eyes were drawn back to the garment. It was marvelously detailed. A golden braid lined the edges, the lace trim was detailed and sheer. Alyssa didn't know whether to accept it or to keep maintaining her traditional Elisaid dress.
She felt a certain confidence in her present leathers she would not feel in the dress. Even as beautiful as it was. She let the satin gown slip between her fingers, longing to feel how it felt on her body. How beautiful it would feel on her. Even when she lived here she had never had something so beautiful. She dressed in common cotton gowns, practical for the housework and the chores she had to do. And while she lived on the ship, she dressed more like a boy than a girl.
Why did she feel this way? It was just another reminder of a woman's place in this world. A gown would not allow her to do anything practical. As a woman, she would not be allowed to do anything of importance anyway. Now this would be a stinging reminder of her place in this society. No riding, no fighting, no freedoms, no pants. Alyssa let the gown slip back to the night table. No, she wouldn't wear it.
Just then, a knock came at the door and Sarah peeked inside.
"You are awake then? Good. The Prince asked me to wake you and ask you come to dinner."
"Was that an order?” Alyssa asked sarcastically.
Sarah cocked her head sideways as if trying to understand what Alyssa had said. Evidently women did not usually talk back here or go against requests. Just like almost every other civilized nation Alyssa had visited, women had very few rights here. Alyssa just snorted her dissatisfaction to that.
"Did he also say I was to wear this dress?” Alyssa laughed, watching the girl carefully for a reaction. Sarah was so soft spoken. She was older, but still pretty. She was probably a concubine of his. She would be found quite pleasing for her submissiveness alone, but her features were pretty as well. Her blonde hair fell onto her shoulders in layers neatly feathered to the side.
"Yes ma'am. He said it would please him greatly if you would wear it. I will help you dress if you like, ma'am.” Sarah moved into the room to help, and Alyssa let her eyes stray back to the dress as she held it up to look at it again. Part of her longed to wear it. Part of her wanted to see how Xanther would react. How pleased would he be?
"This might be his style, but it's not mine, Sarah.” Alyssa sighed longingly. “I am not another one of his slaves to be conquered. I definitely don't want to wear that dress. If I start to look like a slave he might treat me like one.” Sarah had her back bared to her, showing the mark of the dragon, displayed proudly on her bare back. Sarah turned around sharply when she heard the word slave and cocked her head slightly as if bewildered.
"Sarah, I noticed you are marked as well. In what way do you serve Prince Xanther?"
"I am a life servant to the house of Sinclair."
"So I have heard, but what does that mean? I bear that mark too. What does that make me?"
"You are telling me you are marked but you don't know what it means?"
"Yes, I don't. What kind of services do you perform? Are you his concubine? Is that what he expects of me?"
"You mean you really don't know? As for me, I serve one man in that way and he is my life mate. I am happily married, miss, with two children of my own. I think you need to give your questions to the master. It's not my place to explain the mark to you or to say what you are or aren't to the prince. You must ask him what it means."
"He's not telling me. He keeps saying some nonsense about dragons."
"Dragons? Hmmm. Are you sure you don't want to reconsider about the gown, miss? The gown would be beautiful on you and your eyes would match so well."
"I don't know. Who will be coming to this dinner anyway?” Maybe, if not many people saw her. Not many people would make judgments.
"Just the family, ma'am, and a few members of his guard.” Alyssa caught her lower lip between her teeth. It would be worth seeing his reaction.
"Alright, I will wear it."
Sarah helped her undress, amazed at how the silks wrapped her in such length. She seemed a little surprised to see the dagger; the second dagger was less surprising. She looked at Alyssa questioningly at the chain and the cuffs; when she saw the throwing stars, she didn't ask any questions.
"Good choice, milady. The master will be pleased."
"Thank you, Sarah, for your help.” Sarah had held the gown open for her to step into. “I have never had a maid to help with such things.” The fastening of the gown took little time.
Sarah moved to and fro like a little elf, quickly adjusting this and that, pulling her hair off her nape into ribbons. Sarah placed the slippers on the floor for Alyssa to step into.
"You look beautiful, ma'am. You looked beautiful before, but now you look ... Well, you look stunning.” Sarah smiled wide and took a step back to take a look, eyeing her from head to toe.
Alyssa had a hard time accepting the compliment, but from Sarah it was heartfelt. “Thank you, Sarah.” It felt a little awkward, and she twisted the material nervously between two fingers.
"Perfect. Now let me show you the way to the dining room.” Sarah turned and began to walk toward the door.
"No wait, I must get my dagger."
"But ma'am, it is not proper for you to go into the presence of our royalty with a
weapon, let alone as an armed lady.” It was the first time she had spoken of the many weapons she had helped Alyssa to disarm. Sarah looked at her, very concerned.
Alyssa thought to tell of the purpose of her weapons but bit her tongue. Lady Isabella thought it better if less people knew. Even if the Lady Isabella had not been loyal to her, she would not break her loyalty to the Lady. Lady Isabella kept the sisterhood of the Elisaid a little known secret for generations and if their existence and purpose came out now it would not be because of Alyssa.
Alyssa shook her head, wondering why she would allow herself to be scolded by this woman. “Sarah, the first thing you should know is that I am not just any lady. The king knows what I am. He would be surprised if I did not wear at least one weapon."
Sarah still held a disapproving look on her face and moved to block the door.
"Sarah, I don't need a blade to kill.” She spoke boldly, letting the words drift menacingly. Seeing Sarah begin to cower, she cursed herself; bullying a weak-minded girl wouldn't help her to feel better about her sudden predicament. It just made her as low as the men who did the same to her as a child. Sarah had begun to act like a friend and she didn't have many here. “Fine dear, I will respect your customs, and just take my chain as it serves mostly as a decoration only. But don't expect this to happen again. After all, we are at war."
"Sarah, I have a favor to ask of you. I need to get in touch with a lawyer regarding a personal matter. If I give you a letter, will you contact one for me?"
"Of course, milady."
"I need you to be discreet. I don't want anyone to know. Can you do that?"
"Yes, milady."
Alyssa moved to the cherry desk and looked for a pen and stationary to write on. Luckily, there was some in a drawer there. Odd how all the things in this room seemed so masculine.
For a guest quarters, they reminded her very much of Xanther. The room even carried his scent. A mixture of sandalwood and leather. On further thought Alyssa decided there was also a light smoke flavor that was in the mix. So light it was hardly noticeable, she certainly had not thought of it before. But this was definitely the scent of Xanther that perked her senses. He had spent a lot of time in this room.
