The Ocean

by Mia Castile

  “Do you want us to go with you? We can order a pizza,” Mason encouraged.

  “I have a feeling you guys don’t want to witness their discussion when we get home,” she sighed.

  “I’l take you home and wait with you at least,” I said, then turned to Mason and Abby. “You guys go ahead. Don’t let us stop you from having a good night.” They nodded reluctantly as Abby and Gia hugged goodbye. I took her through the drive-through, and we got milkshakes. We stil beat Alex and their dad home. She walked up and sat down on the stairs of her porch.

  “What happened?” she asked, looking out at the night sky.

  “Chiz was running his mouth, and I guess Alex had enough,” I said, not wanting to tel her what he’d said.

  “There’s got to be more to it than that. Alex has never thrown a punch.”

  “Wel , for never throwing a punch, he real y clocked him one. He’s going to have black eyes for homecoming.” I chuckled a little, avoiding her statement.

  “I’d have liked to seen that,” she giggled, as she leaned into me. I put my arm around her. We sat there quietly slurping our milkshakes. Then we saw the head lights of the big green truck coming down the street. It pul ed into the driveway. They went silently into the house by way of the kitchen.

  “Do you want me to stay longer?” I asked, squeezing her closer to me.

  “I do. I don’t want to go in yet.” She turned her head to look up at me, and I could feel her warm breath on my neck. I moved her hair and traced the outline of her neck. We both took a deep breath and then began to laugh. That was when we heard the voices.

  “I don’t care if you’re getting beat up; you do not fight. You do not throw the first punch especial y.”

  “He was running his mouth, talking about our girlfriends, about YOUR daughter. You of ALL people don’t get to lecture me about hitting people!” Alex’s voice boomed. I squeezed her closer to me. They continued arguing.

  “What did he say about us?” she whispered.

  “He’s jealous. He obviously likes you and is annoyed that we’re together. He just dragged Abby and Kiarah’s names into it to set us off. Mason, Alex, and I spend a lot of time together, and he feels like an outsider. I think he had Alex pegged as one of his entourage. When Alex didn’t play along, it made him mad, too. The bad thing is, he figured out Alex’s button.” She pul ed away from me.

  “Kiarah?”

  “No, you. He’s very protective of you. Mason and I had to drag him off Chiz.” I pul ed her back to me. She leaned into me again, taking a deep breath. The front door opened as the light came on. Oliver stood in the doorway.

  “Gianna, it’s time to come in. It’s getting late.” He didn’t move, and neither did she.

  “I’l be in, in a few minutes, OK?”

  “Just hurry up.” He shut the door but left the light on.

  “I guess that is my cue that it’s time to go. Are you going to be around tomorrow around lunch time?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good, I’l pick you up for lunch, and we can hang out.” I kissed the top of her head, and she looked up at me with a look that I didn’t recognize in her eyes. It made my pulse sputter, and I took a jagged breath. She shifted herself so that she was on the step below me nestled in between my legs, and she placed her arms around my neck as she did. She pressed herself to me and kissed me. I found my fingers lightly tracing her sides, my other hand moving her hair. I breathed her soft coconut scent. Our kiss was soft at first but grew deeper and almost desperate as our lips didn’t part and her clutch on me grew tighter. Final y, she pul ed away, and she looked at me again with the same expression she had a moment before. I did love this girl. I realized at that moment this was what love felt like. She would always be the first girl I loved. I kissed her again.

  Chapter 12

  Bygones

  Gianna

  Travis and Alex were sitting on the couch when I came down from my room. They played video games as Travis waited for me to finish getting ready. He said he’d be picking me up for lunch, but I didn’t expect it to be at eleven-thirty. I was stil finishing my chores; I was on bathroom duty this week. He told me he wanted to check on Alex anyway, so he came on over.

  Alex. He’d gotten in trouble with the coach. He and Chiz would have to stay late after practice every night for a week running laps. I guessed that was the coach’s equivalent to detention. At home, he had to attend Oliver’s group therapy for a month. He also wasn’t al owed to go out for a month, with the exception of homecoming. He’d taken his punishment graceful y. Both he and Travis refused to tel me what exactly was said. Alex said his temper had just gotten the better of him, and he was already mad for the stunt Chiz had pul ed during the game.

  When I was final y ready, I came down in some cut-off jean shorts and layered tank tops. I’d piled on a few beaded necklaces of different lengths and shapes and sizes. I thought it looked pretty cool. We told Alex “bye” and were on our way to the mal . We got some food at the food court, and as we scanned the place for seats, we saw Hailey and their mom waving to us.

  “Hey, look at that. They didn’t say they’d be here.” He smiled innocently as he led me over to where they sat.

  “What’s going on here?” I asked, not trusting his innocent act.

  “Nothing. Let’s go eat with them.” We joined them.

  After the smal talk, Mrs. Nichols turned to me and asked, “Since we’re here together, would you like to go dress shopping?” Ah, the set up, I realized. He’d thrown me under the bus.

  “Wel , that would be nice, but I don’t think Hailey would enjoy it much.” Hailey looked at me inquisitively.

  “That’s why Hailey and I are going to the Game Emporium; they have laser tag, indoor go carts, and video games.” Travis draped his arm around my chair. Hailey began clapping her hands together and bouncing up and down.

  “I love the video games there!” she cheered.

  “Then I guess we’re al set,” I smiled weakly.

  “What are you looking for in a dress?” Mrs. Nichols sat down and asked me patiently, after the third store and several dresses already.

  “I’m not sure—just something that feels right. None of these dresses feel right. They feel like they’re too much, almost too fancy for me. I don’t know real y.” She patted the bench beside her, and I sat down in the fril y green dress that I had just been frowning at in the three-way mirror.

  “I don’t know much about your situation with your mother except that she has passed. I know it’s early just to move on. I think that is your conflict,” she paused, and I nodded. “But this is one night that you can just be yourself. Not that you’l forget what’s going on, but you can let it go a little. You are sixteen, beautiful, and ful of life. As a mother myself, I wouldn’t want my daughter to miss out on living life just because I wasn’t there to watch her enjoy it.” She put her hands on mine. “Are you sure that none of these dresses ‘feel right’?” I looked back at the dresses hanging on the hooks and taking up an entire wal of the dressing room.

  “I think I’l try the yel ow one again.” She smiled and patted my hand.

  We met up with Travis and Hailey. I had my shoes and clutch purse, plus the costume jewelry his mom graciously bought me. She had giggled like a teenager, saying, “I can’t wait until I get to do this with Hailey; it’s so much fun.” I lost myself in laughter with her. She even hugged me while we checked out, whispering, “Travis won’t know what to think when he sees how gorgeous you’l be.” She had insisted I cal her Melanie and claimed me as one of her new shopping buddies. It was nice. I thought I might enjoy shopping with her from time to time.

  When we final y got back to my house, I showed Travis my dress. He smiled his approval and he then joined Alex and they played video games. I loved watching them have fun and enjoying themselves. Around six, I began mil ing around the kitchen to figure something out for dinner.

  “I’m ordering pizza; don’t fix anything and get back in h
ere,” Travis cal ed. I came back and sat sideways beside him with my feet in the couch. He was on the phone. I wiggled my feet into his lap, and he put one hand on them. It was a nice ending to a good day.

  On Monday, I saw Chiz coming down the hal as I was exchanging books at my locker. Both of his eyes were blackened. He had a bandage across the bridge of his nose. When he realized I was watching him, he averted his eyes. He walked past me, and I went back to what I was doing, but as I shut my locker, he startled me. He was leaning against the locker beside mine.

  “I’m ruined for homecoming.” He had a sadness to his voice. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. He went on, “I was a dick. I was mad, and I don’t know why I targeted your boyfriend and brother.” I wondered if this was his form of an apology! Wait for it, I thought and didn’t say anything. He continued, “I’ve got to find a way to make it up to the guys. I wanted to tel you personal y that I didn’t mean the things I said. I don’t think you’re inexperienced, nerdy, an artsy freak, or that there’s something wrong with you. I think you’re amazing actual y. I’d like to make it up to you and take you to a nice dinner. Travis doesn’t even have to know. We can just keep it between us.” He winked at me, now apparently excited about the idea of a secret we could share.

  “Thank you for the apology. It means a lot to me that you said it. I’m going to have to pass on the dinner invite though because I don’t keep secrets from Travis.” I paused while I let him soak that up. “I’m sorry that my brother hit you. That’s not something he’s ever done before, but now I can see why he became so angry. They wouldn’t even tel me what you said, and whew, am I relieved to know that was al that was said. You could have cal ed me so many worse things, like selfish, delusional, egotistical, and under the impression that I am God’s gift to women, when clearly I’m not.” I turned to walk away and found that a few people had paused to listen to our conversation.

  “Why would I cal you God’s gift to women? You’re a chick, and you date dudes,” he cal ed after me.

  “Exactly,” I sang, as I did a ful spin, only slowing down when I caught his eye and continued on my way.

  Lunch was solemn. By that time everyone had heard what happened after the game, what was said, and had seen Chiz’s face. Some people congratulated Alex, but he told them that it wasn’t something he was proud of. Others glared at him. I told Travis about my conversation with Chiz, but I didn’t tel Alex because I feared that he might add to Chiz’s already blue face. Abby had taken a hit, too. I could tel that she knew where her place was, but she had always been proud of it. The fact that Mason was put down because of her made her sad. Kiarah, on the other hand, was so animated by anger she insisted that Alex quit the team and boycott the games.

  Very quietly, he said, “If art offended me, I wouldn’t ask you to stop making it. I would just al ow you to share it with people who appreciated it.

  Footbal is important to me, and if you care about me like you say you do, then you won’t ask me to quit the team.” We’d al frozen mid-sentences to watch their conversation. Kiarah stormed out of the lunch room, not even dumping her tray.

  “I might be going stag to the dance if I even go.” He threw his napkin on his plate and slouched, in his chair, obviously annoyed.

  “Dude, you’re going. You guys wil make up,” Mason said. The other guys agreed. Alex just shrugged.

  After school, I began my homework, knowing that Travis and Alex would be later than usual. Out of my speech book fel a note that I hadn’t realized was there. I smiled, thinking about how sneaky Travis was, as I opened it.

  Gianna,

  I really like saying your name. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and just say, “Gia, Gia, bo bia, banana fanana, fo fia.” Just kidding, but I’d like to give you my idea of what your name means to me.

  Before that day at the beach, I’d never heard your name before. I’d heard Anna, but not Gianna. Now, when I think of the name Gianna, instantly I think of a beautiful girl. She makes me feel warm inside, like I could light the world with the sun of warmth and light that she brings me. I could be the sun and she could be the moon, and together we could watch days turn into months, and the months turn into years. Secondly, I think of her soul, because when I look in her eyes, I see her soul. I hear the wonderful things that she says, and I see the way she thinks. Innocence is a quality that I would give her. Innocence that believed there was something in me. It made me think, not only this is an amazing person that I want to know more, but I have to be near her. I am amazed that she wants to spend time with me and get to know me. Everything can be going wrong in my day, and I just think the name Gia, and I smile. You make me smile, and I’m honored (I know it sounds cheesy) to be a part of your world.

  Travis

  As I finished reading, there were footsteps in the kitchen. I turned to see Travis standing there.

  “I didn’t think I’d have to knock since I’m here al the time, and I figured Oliver wasn’t.” I must have looked real y confused. “Practice let out early. I’m going to go back in an hour to pick up Alex.” I nodded, stil affected by his letter. He tossed his bag on the floor by the table and leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms, and smiling at me funny. I felt my face turning red.

  “Why do you do that?” he asked.

  “Do what?” I was self-conscious now.

  “Sometimes when I look at you, your face gets darker.” He paused as if realizing. “Are you blushing?” I looked down at my hands and gave him a nervous laugh.

  “Everybody does it.” I didn’t look back up.

  “I didn’t think you did. Usual y people turn red, but you just look darker tan.” He walked over to where I sat and knelt down beside my chair. “I think it’s beautiful.” He smiled, and I couldn’t help smiling back at him. He looked over at what I was doing and his smile broadened. He stood and went to the kitchen humming the “Name Game” song. I leaned back in my seat laughing, as I rol ed my eyes at him. He returned with two sodas and began his homework.

  “You know, since we’ve been doing homework together, my grades are improving. I haven’t even needed Abby’s services; I must be breaking her bank.”

  “Wel , maybe between you and Mason; I don’t know,” I teased him. He laughed, and we went back to work. Alex cal ed when practice was over and Travis went to get him while I started dinner.

  It was a simple dinner, large salad with romaine lettuce, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, spices, chicken, croutons, and berries. It was one of my mom’s favorite things for dinner—I think because it was so simple to make, and it always looked so pretty. As I tossed it, I thought about the first time she assembled it for us.

  We were living in Louisvil e, and she had been working at the diner for a few weeks. She made real y good tips there. Looking back, Louisvil e was real y where we found hope. We lived in a smal double. It was the kind of house where if you stood at the front door you could see al the way to the back door. None of the rooms had doors but we didn’t care. It had a simple living room, two bedrooms, and a kitchen with the bathroom off it. That night Mom came home from work with a bag of groceries and a gleeful smile on her face. When she laid out al the packaging and I saw the prices on the black berries and the fancy tomatoes that would fit in your mouth in one bite, my eyes were the sizes of saucers. She simply patted my head and said, “Gia, my darling, things are final y turning around for us.” She chopped and sliced, making sure it was perfect. She sprinkled the berries into each salad individual y, giving Alex a few more because she knew he loved al berries. She diced the cooked chicken into perfect cubes and made vinaigrette from things already in our cabinets.

  When we sat down, Alex and I didn’t even know what to do. I didn’t want to destroy the beautiful display she had made.

  She began to eat and then paused, looking at us. Shaking her head, she said, “This is a beautiful salad, but if we don’t enjoy it, it wil go to waste.

  And it won’t taste yummy after it has begun to wither. Little boys
need their vegetables to grow into big strong men who wil always protect their little sisters, Alexander the Great. Little girls need their vegetables so they wil grow into strong, smart women because beauty wil never be a problem, la mia bella Gianna. Eat up, little ones, because tomorrow this won’t taste as sweet as it does right now in this moment.” We did. And it was the best tasting salad I had ever eaten. After that, my mom made a point to make at least one night a month big salad night. So tonight I made a big salad. I cleared off our books and set the table using the nicest plates and glasses. Over the years, big salad night had also became the night we used the fancy dishes. Mom began to cal it the dinner party night. Sometimes we invited friends over to show them how fancy we were, but most of the time, it was just for us. “Three plates, just like old times,” I said to no one at al .

  “If Travis is staying for dinner, then you should add another place.” I stiffened as Oliver stood behind me hovering in the doorway. “What’s for dinner?

  I swear sometimes I come home and the house stil smel s so good from what you’ve cooked, Anna. I go to sleep hungry.” I went to the cupboard and took down another plate, glass, and silverware from the drawer.

  “If you don’t mind, please cal me Gia, or Gianna. Anna was my mother’s name,” I said as if I had to remind him.

  “I know, but you are so much like her. I am proud. She did an excel ent job with both you and Alex. I know Alex only hit that boy because he wanted to hit me,” he said it very matter-of-factly. I just stood there and stared at him. “But he has to learn that there are consequences to every action, and if he continues down this road…” He shook his head. “Wel , God help his soul.” He went upstairs without another word until Travis and Alex came back. Dinner was a quiet event, and though I’m sure he enjoyed his big salad, Travis didn’t say. We finished our homework afterward at the dining room table as Alex and Oliver cleaned up the dishes. Alex went to his room to do homework, and Oliver turned on the TV. We didn’t rush even though Travis’ leg bounced nervously. I put my hand on his to calm him. It helped only for a minute, but we finished around the same time we usual y did. I walked him to the porch steps to say goodbye.