The Ocean

by Mia Castile

  “I must have drunk too much at Chiz’s. I don’t remember drinking more than one, and I don’t even know how I got home, but I did. Before I passed out, I was in his room, and you came in, and I kissed you, and you kissed me back, and we held each other. Maybe it was just a dream and I imagined it,” his voice cracked, and he swal owed hard.

  “What are you saying?” I asked, not believing my ears.

  “I think I was real y kissing someone.” He looked into my eyes, the horror stil on his face. “I think I was kissing Jil .” I stepped back away from him.

  He stepped toward me. I turned and ran. I ran as fast as I could. I ran even though there were sharp pains digging into my sides. I ran up three streets and over two to the pier. I couldn’t breathe, but I had to escape and get away. The sun was setting over the horizon, and I walked along the edge of the sand where the tal grass began to grow. I’d lost count of my tears. I walked until my legs gave out. I heaved onto my knees in the sand.

  My face in my hands, I cried. I didn’t know how long I sat there on my knees crying, but suddenly I felt arms around my waist from behind pul ing me to him as he sat me down in between his legs. I was crying, and he held me. He smoothed my hair.

  “I’m sorry, Gianna. I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you,” he whispered in my ears. “I love you. I love you so much.”

  “I wish I’d never come here. I wish I’d died of cancer instead of my mom. I wish I’d never been born. This is what Hel feels like,” I stil cried, my voice a hoarse whisper.

  “Don’t ever say something so awful. You are amazing and strong and independent and brave. An angel, my angel!” He held me tighter against him as he looked off into the distance.

  “Who do you think Hel was created for?” I whispered sarcastical y, but I clung to him.

  “You’re not in Hel alone. I’m not leaving you. Ever. Believe me. Don’t believe anyone else. Please?” He kissed my head. I looked up at him. He smoothed my hair out of my face and traced my tear line softly with the tip of his thumb. His eyes penetrated mine.

  “I’m not leaving you.” He pul ed me to him and softly pressed his lips to mine. My hands found his neck, and I clung to him. His kiss became deeper as he traced my lips with his tongue. His hand finding the smal of my back, he laid me down on the sand and hovered above me. He kissed my jaw line and my neck, moving to my chest between my breasts. My legs tangled around his waist, and his hands were under my shirt. He moved back to my lips again, kissing me hotly, urgently this time. My hands were al over him, in his hair, under his shirt, my thumb between the waist of his jeans and his skin. His hand moved to under my thigh. It moved between my shorts and my skin, squeezing my bottom. He pul ed away slightly when he realized I wasn’t wearing panties. The urgency grew with the desire. He kissed me deeply, crushing himself against me. I didn’t want him to stop.

  His fingers found me. I let out a soft whimper. He kissed my neck again. I looked up to the sky; the stars sprayed the canopy above me. He moved his lips to my chest. I couldn’t breathe. I felt shivers rise al over my skin, and suddenly, involuntarily, my back arched. He looked down at me, but he continued touching me.

  “I want to show you how much I love you,” he spoke so softly. “Please give me the chance to make it al right. I promise.” My heart felt as if it would explode in my chest. I’d never felt anything like this before. “You’re the only one I’ve ever loved. Never like this.” He leaned down and kissed me again. Final y, he took his hand out of me, put it at the smal of my back, and moved his other hand to cup my face. “I love you.” His eyes locked on mine.

  “I love you, too,” I said, as a tear escaped my eye. He traced it and kissed me once more.

  “Do you believe me?” His eyes searched mine. I understood that he wanted to be sure.

  “I do because you broke me.” Suddenly his eyes were ful of pain, but I brushed my fingers from his eyebrow to his cheek, leaving my hand cupping his face. His eyes softened as he held my gaze, seeing the love in my eyes. “I needed you to cut me. In Indiana, my mom loved to garden, and when we bought our house, she loved it so much for the landscaping. There was this bush in the side yard that was puny. Our second year in the house she took her shears to it in the fal until al that was left was a stump. But the next year it bloomed and had the prettiest rose of Sharon blossoms. My mom had to cut it down to help it grow. Indirectly, you did that for me. These past few months have been the worst, hardest, happiest, and most beautiful of my life. When I met you on the beach, it was chance. When we sat together at the bonfire, it was circumstance, but when you fel in love with me, it was fate. I won’t throw that away so easily ever again. I promise.” I looked past him again at the stars shining above his head. He didn’t say anything else. He just held me close to him.

  Chapter 23

  Would You Like Your Justice Served Medium, or Well-Done?

  Travis

  Gianna went inside. I stood on the bottom step of her porch as she closed the door. I had to make this right. She had been so beautiful in my arms not more than a half an hour ago. I could stil hear her moans. I could feel her and taste her lips and her skin. She was al that is good with the world. I took out my phone and made a cal . I would make this right.

  The next morning I felt so alive. I wasn’t real y sure if I’d ever been alive before last night, before I kissed her, before I felt her. I was alive now. I was at school bright and early. Bryan approached me on the front stoop.

  “You got it?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I got it.” I handed him the flash drive that held the article I had spent less than an hour writing the night before. I’d never written anything so important so fast.

  “Are you sure you want to do this? There’s no going back.” He raised his eyebrow as he unlocked the front door.

  “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” I smiled. “This wil run today, right?”

  “Yep, that’s why we’re here early. Journalism class is third period so it’s out by lunch. Mrs. Henry has already proofed it, so we can put it in now and it wil be good to go.” I fol owed him into the dark hal s.

  “This way.” He motioned for me to fol ow him. I did. He went to the computer and started it up. I looked out the window at the most beautiful day I’d ever seen.

  “Here we go. We just take out Madison’s exposé on Jil ian, and insert yours.” My heart raced as he cut and pasted my document. “Nice picture.” He paused momentarily as he looked at a picture of Jil ian that one of the cheerleaders had texted me right after we broke up last year. She was standing over another cheerleader, with a scowl on her face and her mouth opened so wide she was shouting at her. The text had said, “You real y dodged a bul et with this one.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  “Done. Saved.” He handed me my flash drive back. I put it back on my key chain. “Now we wait.”

  “Thanks again.” I slapped his back. He nodded.

  “I’ve been waiting for a moment like this. She is a wretched person.” He stood as he shut down the computer. “See you in speech.” He turned and left the room.

  I went to the gym and put on some gym shorts and my running shoes and went to the track to run off some of my sudden burst of energy. I ran for thirty minutes. When I saw other students begin to arrive, I went back inside, showered, and cleaned up. I was leaning against her locker with one leg propped up behind me when she walked up. The smile on her face said she was happy to see me. Before she had a chance to say anything, I grabbed her around her waist with one hand and pul ed her to me. I gave her the strongest, deepest kiss that I could. I put my other hand on her neck just under her ear, my fingers tangling in her hair at the back of her neck. Final y, when we were done, I looked around, and everyone had stopped what they were doing to watch us.

  “You’ve just embarrassed the hel out of me,” she smirked, her face turning that darker shade that I liked.

  “Never like this,” I said, reassuring her, as I kissed the top of her head. Sh
e giggled and hugged me around my waist.

  “I’l see you at lunch?” I asked, as I pul ed away and stepped toward my locker.

  “Yes,” she sighed nervously. Everyone was stil watching us.

  “Wel , until then, here.” I handed her a note I had also written last night.

  “Um, OK. Thanks.” She surveyed the gawkers and final y met my eyes.

  “Don’t worry about anything; you’l see. This wil al blow over.” I leaned in and kissed her forehead one more time and turned to go to my class.

  I sat at my stool, and I reread the passage that we were going to be quizzed on, waiting for everyone to come in and to lay my ground work. Jil ian came in and sat beside me. I dropped my folder, and it popped open, spreading papers across the floor between us. I knelt down to pick them up, and I kept my head low as Mr. Jackson began his review. I leaned closer to where she was reading, too.

  “Don’t look up or say anything, just nod,” I whispered. She did.

  “I’ve been doing some real soul searching these past few days. We need to talk, but I can’t until after lunch. I’ve got to talk to Gia first, let her know how I real y feel about her.” I paused; she nodded. “But I think we should talk, too.” Again she nodded. “You should keep your distance from me until I’ve had a chance to take care of her.” She started to turn to look at me, but I held my hand out to keep her eyes off me. “Just know that everything wil be right between us very soon.” She nodded. I stood and returned to my seat; Mr. Jackson began to pass out the quizzes. When she passed me the papers, she smiled her bril iant smile and winked at me. I smiled back at her, very pleased with myself.

  Second and third periods, I kept waiting to hear the office cal me to the principal’s office, tel ing me that I’d been busted. The cal didn’t come. I met Gia as usual before lunch. Abby and Mason were there waiting for me. I got the copy of the school paper and carried it under my arm like it was the New York Times and I was in my forties. I paused just inside the door, and they turned to look at me. I opened it to the article.

  “A Deeper Look at Jil ian Thomas,” I read in my most professional voice. Mason and Abby groaned, and Gia looked at me nervously. I continued,

  “Mason, wil you take over?” He took the paper, found where I left off and began to read.

  “Everyone knows Jillian Thomas. She is our ever-fearless leader. Her résumé includes class president, homecoming court, head cheerleader, and organizer of the annual clothing drive for the local shelters. Jillian has been a leader since she realized there were followers. But being the most popular girl in school has its price. Jillian donates many hours to helping those less fortunate than she is.

  That was how Madison Erikson’s original profile article about Jillian Thomas began. I wonder how many people actually believe Jillian is our fearless leader? As long as Jillian reigns, we will live under a dictatorship. She runs the halls with an iron fist that most fear. I would like you, the student body, to realize she has no power over us. This may sound like a bad break up rant, but I’m writing this and hijacking this article because Jillian has crossed a line. I was wrong not to come forward with this information before. I didn’t want to get involved, but I should have.

  I’m only hoping that now it’s not too late. I will accept the consequences for my actions, both of not coming forward and inserting this article. I am sorry, Madison. I understand you worked really hard to shine a positive light on Jillian, but the truth must come out.

  Everyone knows the rumor that surrounded Mr. Monroe and an inappropriate relationship with a student. We all know that student and her family moved away after the embarrassment of it all. Here is what you didn’t know. Mr. Monroe was innocent. The pictures were planted on his school computer in a locked file that he didn’t even have the password to. Mr. Dailey probably thought he just refused to open the file because he didn’t want to get into trouble, but he honestly didn’t have access to it.

  Everyone knows my break-up with Jillian last year was TMZ-worthy. You remember the soda in my face, and all the rumors that began shortly after we broke up as to my sexual orientation and all. At that point I didn’t care about my reputation or any of the rumors. Not that I’d ever be ashamed of who I am, I’m just not gay. It was all worth it, though, because I was rid of her, and as you see, all the rumors blew over. If I had wanted revenge, I would have come forward with my information. I didn’t come forward then because no charges were filed against Mr. Monroe, and he is working again. In case you were wondering, he’s in Chicago. I reached out to him last night and explained what I’ve done and have asked for his forgiveness. He sends his love to the students and families that supported and believed in him.

  Here is my bombshell. Jillian took those pictures of the girl at a slumber party. She sent them to me a month before they showed up on Mr.

  Monroe’s computer. I also believe that the police can tell when a file has been added to a computer. I’m not a betting man, but I imagine that date is after I received my email. The grade Jillian was receiving in Monroe’s class would have failed her; she would have been off the cheerleading team. After Addison’s “accident” last year, ensuring Jill as head cheerleader, she was willing to do anything to hold onto her position. When he refused to change her grade, she threatened him. I actually heard her tell him he would be sorry. Only I found out too late why he would be sorry. So I am now forwarding the email to Mr. Dailey as proof of Mr. Monroe’s innocence.

  I want to make sure the people I care about are protected, and I WILL do whatever it takes to ensure that.

  Travis Nichols”

  Mason looked up at me, Gia eyes were huge, and Abby’s jaw was on the floor. My thumb hovered on the SEND button. Gia looked at my hand holding my phone. I pressed the button.

  “Principal Dailey has the email,” I sighed, as I heard a roar of cheers coming from different tables in the cafeteria. I saw Jil ian enter the lunch room out of the corner of my eye. She looked at Gia with the tear streaming down her face and smiled at us. I stepped forward to Gia and took her hands in mine. She looked up at me, the love in her eyes making me catch my breath.

  “I would do just about anything for you. Al of this wil keep her busy and away from us for quite a while.” I spoke softly now, not positive about how much trouble either Jil ian or I was in. Abby and Mason stil stood there staring at us, as was most of the cafeteria now, including Jil ian. “This is just the beginning to make it up to you.” I clutched her hand in both of mine, holding it to my chest. People were talking in a low roar about the article.

  Others looked accusingly at Jil ian. She began to survey the cafeteria nervously. A girl who played in the marching band walked up behind her and dumped her tray over Jil ian’s head.

  “Mr. Monroe was my favorite teacher.” She turned and walked away, as a cheer rose from the tables near where Jil ian stood now drenched in spaghetti and pudding. Food from across the room was flung toward her. A boy sitting beside her shook up his unopened can of soda and popped the lid toward her, spraying her in a sticky mess.

  “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!” she screamed in a shril voice as food continued to pelt her. Suddenly Mr. Dailey and several other teachers appeared in the doorway. One teacher snatched her by the elbow while others grabbed a few other kids in the middle of slinging food. Mr. Dailey walked over to where we stood, his eyes boring a hole through me. My heart began to pound; I had known this was coming. I dropped Gia’s hand from my chest and held it at my side. Gia squeezed my hand encouragingly.

  “Mr. Nichols, wil you come with me please?” He was al business. I let go of Gia’s hand and fol owed him.

  “WHAT DID YOU DO?” Jil ian screeched at me, stomping her feet.

  “Miss Taylor, please, SHUT UP,” Mr. Dailey addressed her and led us to the office. Six of us sat down in the waiting area. They told Jil ian to stand in place. One by one each of the students who had been caught throwing food were brought in and then brought back out after about fifteen minutes. They ha
d al been slapped on the wrists with detentions for a month.

  “Travis, Jil ian, would you please come in?” Mr. Dailey stood in the doorway to his office. We walked in silently, Jil ian sending me daggers. She looked innocently at Mr. Dailey.

  “Mr. Dailey, I was attacked for no reason,” she began. He raised his hand to cut her off.

  “Travis, you have had these pictures for so long and never came forward; you obstructed an investigation. We have to contact the police as there was an investigation into the matter. What do you have to say for yourself?” He frowned at me from behind his desk. I looked over at Jil ian as she began to piece together why we sat in his office, me in the soft cushioned chair, her in a folding chair.

  “I understand that I’m in trouble. I didn’t come forward because I didn’t piece everything together until wel after the fact. Then I wasn’t sure if it was my place. I broke up with her and thought removing myself from the situation would be the best. Apparently it wasn’t.” I glanced at her sideways; she gasped, and I continued. “I’ve told Mr. Monroe everything and have offered to help in any way I can to remedy my mistake. I think Jil ian is the worst kind of bul y because she feels invincible. She has been pretty indestructible since I’ve known her.” I looked down at my hands. Mr. Dailey leaned back in his seat.

  “Wel , you are suspended for breaking into school and putting that article in the paper. Did you have help with that?” He leaned forward on his elbows.

  “No, it was just me.” He scrutinized me, not believing me.

  “OK. Now go to the office and cal your mother. If she gives permission, you can drive yourself home. I don’t want to see you until after fal break.”

  “She has some of my personal property that she stole.” I knew I was pushing my luck.

  “She wil return it. Now you need to go cal your mother before I change my mind and suspend you for two more days next week.” I stood and left the room as he began. “Jil ian, these are criminal acts. The police are on their way now to question you.” I shut the door. In the office I found out the other students had gone back to class. I used the office phone and cal ed my mom. I told her the short version of what happened. She was disappointed in me yet again. She told me we had more talking to do when she got home from her trip after fal break but for now, just to go home. I hung up and left the office. Hovering in the hal way outside of the office was Gia. She stepped close to me so no one in the office could see her face.