by Linnea May
Then why am I not saying anything? Why am I standing here, biting my lower lip and struggling to say a word, any word.
“Hey, girl, it’s okay,” the intruder says, touching my shoulder. “You can tell me.”
I jerk back from his touch. It feels so much more like a violation than Loran’s hand ever did.
“Fuck girl, I can help you, save you from this maniac,” the guy says, withdrawing his hand and holding it up in defense. “I know what kind of sick bastard he is. Whatever he did to you - you’re safe now. You can tell me.”
My lips part, but the words don’t come out. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never been this torn before. There’s a voice inside me, a voice of reason screaming for me not to be an idiot. A voice that knows the sane thing to do would be to tell him the truth, to do what I came up here to do, to call for help, to let him know what’s been going on here - to take this damn chance I thought I’ve been waiting for all along.
But every time I decide to do that, it feels like a clamp closes around my throat. I can’t bring myself to say it. I can’t bring myself to betray the man standing next to me. My master.
I can feel his grip around my arm loosening, and my heart sinks. Is he giving me up? Is he surrendering?
“No.”
It’s the first word I’ve spoken since I came up here, and as it escapes my mouth, both men look at me with a similar expression of surprise, and I no longer doubt their relationship.
“You’re his brother,” I say in a shaking voice.
He nods. “Yes, girl, but who are-”
“Loran has told me a lot about you,” I continue. My heart is wrapped in comforting warmth when I say his name for the first time. Loran. An uncommon name for an uncommon man.
“But he didn’t tell me that you were coming to visit today,” I add. “I must say, I’m a little...surprised.”
I free myself of my master’s grip, pointedly trying to cover myself up by crossing arms in front of my chest. Loran lets go of me without resistance. Even without looking at him, I can tell that his eyes are locked on me in confusion.
“This is my brother, Joel,” Loran says. “He has a tendency to show up when he’s not invited.”
His brother glares at him.
“You fucking sick bastard,” he snarls. “What did you do to this girl?”
“Nothing... none of your business,” I utter, trying to appear more confident than I’m actually feeling at this moment.
“Oh yeah?” Joel hisses at me. “What the hell is this then?!”
I gasp when he reaches for the leash and yanks on it so hard that I’m forced to step forward, choked by the collar around my throat.
Loran steps in within a split second, taking hold of the leash and tearing it from his brother’s hand before he deals a blow against his chest, pushing him about two feet away from us.
“Don’t fucking touch her!”
He turns around to me then, his eyes laced with concern. “Are you alright?”
I reach up to my throat, coughing and nodding, while I raise my hand in an appeasing gesture.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
My eyes dart over to Joel, narrowing as I fixate on him. “But I’d like for him to leave.”
Joel gasps with indignation and makes a move to step forward in protest, but Loran holds him back by raising his hand and stepping in front of me.
“You heard what she said,” he hisses at his brother. “You’re neither needed nor welcome here.”
His brother stares coldly at him. I don’t know the whole story, but I’m sure that he doesn’t believe either of us and would have been all too happy to secure me from Loran’s hands, if only to have something to use against his brother.
I’m not going to let that happen. That’s not how I want this to end.
“You’re fucking sick, kiddo,” Joel bellows at me. “Whatever he did to you - you’re fucking sick and wrong for not ratting this asshole out!”
“Get out!” Loran yells at him. “You had no business following me here, and you have no business being here. If you’re not out within ten seconds, I’m going to call the police!”
Jack stares at him in angry disbelief. “You fucking wouldn’t...”
“Yes!” Loran exclaims. “Yes, I fucking would.”
A few moments of unpleasant silence follows their heated exchange, but then Joel finally turns and heads out the door.
31
Loran
I’m holding my breath almost the entire time from when I close the door behind my brother until the moment I see his car driving away.
I’m standing in the doorway, my eyes glued on the back of his car as it becomes smaller in the distance, and I don’t move until he’s completely out of my sight. Even then, I need a few more moments before I can turn around and walk back inside. I move slowly and deliberately, unsure what to make of what just happened.
Ruby, my toy, my captive, is standing in the living room, shaken from the events, but standing tall and strong, the leash dangling down between her breasts as she looks up at me. She looks scared and proud at the same time, a blend of emotions that I’ve never seen on anyone’s face before.
“I’m sorry for that,” I say, knowing that it’s not exactly the right thing to say at this moment.
But what would be the right thing? I can’t even fathom what just happened. I can’t believe that my brother followed me home, and it bothers the hell out of me that I don’t know why he did it in the first place. Was he planning to harm me? We didn’t part on good terms this afternoon. He kept yelling threats at me, and I walked out on him. I ended our conversation rather abruptly, and maybe he just followed me here to finish talking.
I’m shocked at the thought, but there’s also a chance that he had an entirely different motivation. We never did get along, but unlike him, I’ve never considered physically harming him.
Or maybe he just came here because he was sure he’d find some dirt on me. It may have been stupid of me to be so defensive every time he asked me questions about my current life, whereabouts, relationships. I have been rather absent, for obvious reasons, and he’s not the only one who noticed. I’ve ignored his calls the past two weeks, and when he tried to reach me at my office, he was told that I wasn’t scheduled to be in. It’s the fucking privilege of being the boss to plan your own schedule, but he was suspicious, poking and probing around to uncover what I’d been up to, in which one of my houses I was currently staying.
And I was too preoccupied with Ruby to notice his car was following me when I left the city. What an idiot I was.
Seeing her run up the stairs, screaming for help, that was just what he needed for validation to make his threats real.
But that’s not what happened.
Something changed Ruby’s mind, and I have to find out what that was.
“You’re sorry for what?” she asks, crossing her arms in front her chest as she leans against the back of one of my sofas. It’s a stance I’ve never seen her take before. Powerful and in control. We’re alone again, but she knows the tables have turned. Despite what she told him, my brother won’t get off my back if I continue behaving the way I have been for the past few weeks. He’ll be back, and maybe next time he won’t be alone. If that happens, it will be up to her to decide how things end for me. If I ever let it get that far.
I shrug. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“I just saved your ass,” she says. “How about a little thank you for starters?”
She’s smiling, a cheeky smile that’s characteristic of a brat. I knew she had that in her.
I walk toward her, noticing that she’s shaking, even though she’s trying very hard to hide it from me. She’s breathing heavily, her shoulders rising and falling when I place my hands on them to calm her down. She does relax under my touch, but the tension of the moment is still there.
“Why did you do that?” I ask. “Why didn’t you rat me out? You know my brother would have be
en all too happy to get you out of here and-”
“And put you behind bars,” she completes my sentence. “Yes, I kind of sensed that.”
“So? Why didn’t you take the chance?”
The green of her eyes are dancing like a forest moving in the wind. Her head tilts to the side, a sassy smile playing at the corner of her mouth.
“I wanted to,” she says. “That’s why I ran upstairs, that’s why I yelled as I was trying to get away from you.”
“I know,” I retort. “I thought I had lost you.”
She nods. “Yes, I thought that, too.”
“What changed?”
Ruby lowers her eyes, a somber shadow falling over her face as if she’s remembering a sad memory.
“A lot has changed, Loran,” she says. My chest tightens when my name escapes her lips. It’s always been that one last piece of information that has kept us apart, that one little detail about myself I’ve never been willing to share, despite sharing so many other things with her. Now that she has that, too, I feel as if there is no longer a way out for me. The power dynamic between us has changed, and she’s the one in charge now.
I don’t know how I feel about that.
I stroke along her upper arms, my eyes gracing her body, a body I’ve become so familiar with, yet I feel as if I’m discovering it all anew.
Her eyes wander up to mine, and the expression on her face has changed to one of strong determination.
“I took a leap of faith for us,” she says. “Don’t you think it’s time for you to do the same?”
I nod. “You’re right.”
She sighs when I let go of her, her eyes following me as I pace around the living room, rubbing at my temples, consumed with heavy and confusing thoughts.
I can’t go on like this. I know I can’t.
She knows that, too, but I know she’s referring to more than that I’m busted.
I could just let her go. I could give her her things back, remove everything connecting her to me, strip her of the things I’ve done to her, drive her back home to the city, so she can have her her old life back. I could pay her a substantial amount of money to keep her mouth shut, the same amount she would have received if she’d actually completed the assignment with her client. Or more.
That would be the simple and most obvious solution to all of this.
Problem is, I don’t want that.
I don’t want to let her go.
32
Ruby
I can see him battling. He’s pacing up and down the living room like a caged tiger, trying to figure out how to solve his dilemma. There’s only one way I’d expect him to do it, one way that I’m hoping for, but he needs to get there on his own.
“You know things have changed,” I repeat, watching him from across the room. “You can’t ignore that.”
“I’m not ignoring anything,” he says. “I know my brother won’t let this go. I know this is over.”
My heart sinks. “This is over?”
He stops mid-pace, capturing my eyes with his. His short hair is ruffled and his face strained.
“You know what I mean,” he says. “I can’t keep you here any longer, despite what you told him. I’m busted. I have to let you go.”
I sigh, my shoulders sinking as the weight of sadness sets in. Why is he being so stubborn?
He looks at me, pained by the dilemma that’s tearing him apart from the inside out.
“I don’t want to let you go,” he says. “I really don’t fucking want to do that.”
“You don’t have to let me go,” I whisper, hoping that he gets the meaning behind my words.
I approach him with quick, confident steps, a firm decision carrying me to him. He looks at me quizzically, freezing when I come to a halt in front of him. Our eyes meet, and I take a deep breath before I reach for the leash that’s attached to the collar around my neck, and hand it over to him.
“I want you to be in control. I need you to exert control over me, just as much as you crave my submission,” I say in a low voice, as his hand slowly closes around the end of the leash. “I have no desire to pull the rug out from under your feet, master. No matter what happens, I will never tell anyone about this. I will not go to the police, and I will not destroy your life. I will not destroy our life.”
His eyes widen in cautious relief and he sighs.
“Why wouldn’t you, though?” he asks. “After all I’ve done to you...”
“You know why,” I say.
Our eyes lock, unspoken words hovering between us as the silence grows and stretches.
“You can trust me,” I say.
“I know,” he says. “I know I can trust you, and I want to. I’m just not sure if I can trust myself.”
He gently pulls at the leash, beckoning me to come closer.
I follow his lead, stepping up on my toes when he leans down so our lips can meet. The kiss is cautious and gentle, as if it’s our first kiss after a long period of flirting and dancing around each other. He never lets go of the leash, pulling me even closer, until the collar begins to tighten around my throat, not really choking me but keeping me in place.
I moan when he wraps his other arm around me, pressing my body against his hard-muscled frame. His warmth embraces me, comforts me, and envelops me with heated shelter. There’s a devotion in that kiss that he hasn’t shown me before. It’s as if he’s the one sinking in my arms, and not vice versa.
It’s as if he’s finally willing to let go, not of me, but of himself and whatever has been holding him back.
He breaks our kiss reluctantly.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispers, his eyes still closed and his lips so near mine that I can feel his hot breath brushing my skin.
“You’re not going to,” I whisper. “I’m yours, Loran.”
I place a soft peck on his lips. “I’ll always be yours. If you let me.”
My eye search for his, and finally, after a few more minutes of solitary contemplation, he’s ready to face me. His eyes open, seeking mine, and a smile appears on his face - a smile finally void of darkness.
“We have some things to take care of,” he says.
I nod. “Yes. We do.”
His grip around me loosens and his hands wander down to my ass, lifting the negligé and squeezing my naked cheeks greedily, the leash still encompassed in one of his hands. I can feel the hard leather pressing against my skin as he kneads and massages my ass.
“We have to go to the agency,” I say randomly. “They need to know where I am.”
He nods. “We will do that, my toy.”
It’s all the admission I need at this point. He’s not ready to let me go, but he’s ready to leave this part behind us.
He’s ready for something else - with me.
“I will take you there first thing in the morning,” he promises, before leaning in for another kiss. His lips only touch mine for a moment, before he moves further, inching along the side of my neck as he grabs a fistful of hair at the back of my head. I let out a needy sigh when he pulls my head back, his other hand still locked on my ass while I lean into him.
He’s overpowering me and I’m melting in his arms, my heart beating with anticipation as I hollow my back for him, the collar tightening around my throat. He pulls on it until the tension starts cutting off air. I don’t mind. I don’t need air. I need him.
Still, I moan gratefully when he lets go of the leash, using his hand to slip between my wet folds, carefully teasing my swollen nub.
Our eyes find each other, mine dazed with lust, his filled with desire.
He’s smiling when he invades my core with not one, but two fingers, at once - and so am I.
Epilogue
Ruby
Six months later
I take in a deep breath and fix my skirt for the millionth time, casting a superimposed smile at my reflection in the mirror. The girl who’s smiling back at me looks like an entirely different person, a person I ha
ven’t seen in years.
When we went to the agency, so I could make sure they weren’t looking for me six months ago, I knew it would be the very last time I stepped foot in there. I will never know what happened to that last client of mine, the client who never showed up and who never reported my disappearance to the agency. Our madame, Miss Barry, was surprised to see me, because she thought I’d be with my client as planned. He may have copped out at the last minute without telling anyone, or perhaps he found another way to satisfy the desire he was willing to pay so much for - I will never know. It remains a mystery to me, just like my red coat, that was sent to the agency anonymously a few days after I showed up there. The package showed up out of nowhere, leaving Miss Barry just as confused as myself.
Neither Loran nor I had to face any repercussions from our more than unconventional meeting. Sadly enough, neither my parents nor my sister even noticed that I had vanished off the face of the Earth for three whole weeks.
Fate has its twisted ways in bringing people together. Loran and I are a perfect example of that.
I pull myself away from the mirror and leave the bathroom to go downstairs. My fingers absentmindedly search fort he bracelet around my wrist, twisting and turning the two little black hearts anxiously. I haven’t been this nervous in months, and I don’t think my heart has ever beaten this loudly. I make my way down the hallway, my fingers dancing along the wall on my right, seeking contact with the house that has become my home. It’s only been a few months, but the intensity of my first weeks here evolved into stronger connections than any I’ve ever developed anywhere else.
I pass by our bedroom door and continue on my way to the stairs. I pause again before making my way down to the kitchen. I’m wearing a navy blue suit, the jacket draped over my arm, as I walk down the stairs on shaky legs. I’m not wearing my heels yet, but I still feel as unstable as a newborn deer.
