by Marie Harte
Was Cyn cured of all self-doubt? Hell no. But seeing the problems through Dr. Rosenthal’s eyes had definitely put things into perspective. Cyn was no slouch, and she knew how best to put that advice to good use.
Confrontation—my middle name.
She waited until everyone had enjoyed their meal, making sure to take a normal portion and not skimp the way she usually did to make her mother happy.
Ella had frowned, but she said nothing.
“Let me help clear those,” Cyn said while her mother also cleared the table. Nina stood to help, but Cyn shoved her back down.
Matt stared. “A little forceful, eh, Sis?”
“Just sit tight. I’ll be right back.” She took the plates to the kitchen, then tugged her mother from the dishwater. “Mom, we need to talk.”
“Fine, dear. We’ll discuss whatever you want after dishes. Thanks for helping, by the way.” Her mother frowned. “But did you realize how much you ate, tonight? Is everything okay?”
Cyn bit her tongue. “Everything is just fine. I need you to come with me. This won’t take long, then you can get back to the dishes. I promise.”
“Well, all right.” At that moment, her mother looked small, frail, and Cyn had second doubts about the firestorm she intended to unleash. “Are you gaining weight, sweetie?”
Nope. Time to deal. Right the hell now.
Chapter 22
Cyn drew her mother back to the table and sat her next to her father. Then she stood to face everyone.
“What’s this?” Vincent asked. He leaned back in his chair, patting his belly. “Great meal, Ella.”
“Thanks.” She grabbed his hand and held on.
“I’m glad we’re all together tonight,” Cyn began, “and that the boys aren’t here.”
Nina perked up. She probably thought she had an inkling of what tonight might be about—Foley. Nina knew Cyn had been doing some soul-searching about “the protective stud,” as she liked to call him.
“Oh?” Ella leaned close. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“Cyn?” Vincent asked, frowning.
“I’ve decided to be honest with you all. So I’ll come right out and say it.” Her heart raced, and her palms felt sweaty.
“Is this about that boyfriend of yours?” her mother asked.
“Is it?” Nina smiled.
“Hush.” Matt elbowed her. “Go ahead, Cyn.”
“What boyfriend?” her father asked.
“No,” Cyn said over the commentary. “This is about Ella Nichols and thirty years of verbal abuse.”
Everyone quieted. Her mother gaped.
“I have spent my entire life being told I’m fat, I’m no good, that I can’t hope to have a wonderful life unless I’m married. To be married, apparently, I need to lose weight and that attitude that comes with it. Because men want a sweet, biddable, slender woman in this day and age.”
“Damn straight,” Matt teased.
Nina glared at him. “Not now, Matt.”
He sobered, and Cyn continued. “I’ve spent years trying to explain how Mom acts toward me, but no one ever believed me. You all said I was too sensitive, that I must not have understood her. Well guess what? I moved away for ten years because I couldn’t take it anymore.”
Her father stared. “You said you had opportunities away from here, that you couldn’t do them from Seattle.”
“I lied. I’ve tried for twenty years to get Mom to see me as more than a fat albatross around her neck. Do you know how many times she’s compared me to Aunt Sharon?”
“Ella?” Vincent grasped at the hand Ella tugged away. “Is that right?”
“Of course not,” she snapped. “Your daughter is too sensitive.”
“To you. But you’ll notice I never had any problem being with Matt or Dad. Dad, did you ever wonder why I took such pains not to be around Mom by myself?” Cyn’s eyes grew wet. “She says horrible things. Then she ends every lecture with wanting me to be ‘happy.’ You know, Mom, I’d be happy if you’d just accept me for me.”
“Cyn, that can’t be right,” Matt tried.
“Just keep out of it. You’re the perfect son. You have a wonderful wife and two amazing boys. I love them, and I love you. This is about Mom and the way she treats me.” Cyn locked eyes with her mother. “From now on, the minute you say something negative, I’m leaving. No more digs about my weight. No more snide comments about my social life and how I’ll never fit in wearing a size twenty-four. For your information, Mom, I’ve never worn that size in my life. But the fact you’re petty enough to tease about it says volumes about you, not me.”
“I never said that.” Her mother’s face was on fire.
Cyn turned to her father. “Dad, I’m tired of you always taking her side. That goes for you too, Matt. Nina’s the only one who ever listened to or believed me. And I’m thankful for that.”
Nina nodded, studiously avoiding Ella’s glare.
“I am not fat. I do not need a man to be worthy. And I sure the heck don’t need Mom to ask her friends to bring salads and low-fat food to her parties because I don’t need the added calories.”
“Ella, you didn’t do that, did you?” Her father looked disappointed.
“I just wanted to help her.” Ella pointed at Cyn. “She’s gained more weight. She’ll never keep a man if she’s so big. Jon left her. So did all the others. I just want her to have someone to care for her, to love her as much as we do.”
“Seriously, Mom?” Matt looked surprised. “Is that what you really think?”
“Ella?” her father asked.
“I love my children, and I won’t defend wanting a better life for them.”
“Better than what? What your suicidal sister had?” Everyone stared at Cyn. “Yeah, I went there. But only because I’m constantly compared to Aunt Sharon and her miserable life. Mom seems to think I’ll commit suicide if I’m not stick-thin. Then I’ll make the family look bad. Right, Mom?”
“That’s a horrible thing to say.” Her mother rushed from the room in tears.
“You’ve gone too far.” Her father stood.
Before he could go after her mother, she stopped him. “Hold on, Dad. Why don’t you think about why I stayed away for so long, when I could have easily done my work from here? I didn’t have to move away ten years ago. I did it to get away from Mom. I think she has a real problem. It’s not normal for a mother to be so fixated on negatives with her child. She never did it in front of any of you, either. Just to me, behind your backs. That’s not healthy. And that’s from a therapist’s perspective.”
“You saw a therapist?” Nina asked.
“Yeah, I did. Because I’m tired of thinking I’m not good enough for anyone ten seconds after being around Mom.”
“Damn.” Matt looked blindsided.
“Um, so you guys know, Cyn’s being honest,” Nina said, drawing everyone’s gaze. “I’ve overheard Ella saying some wacky things when she thought she and Cyn were alone.” She turned to Matt. “Remember? I told you a few times, but you made me think I was overstating things. It’s easy to believe, because Ella’s so nice to everyone else. But, Matt, she really did say those things to Cyn in private. Calling her a fattie and a loser and a sad addition to the family. But she says those things in such a nice tone, and she cages her insults around how pretty Cyn is, how much she loves her. It’s just bizarre.”
Cyn’s father paled. “I can’t believe it.”
Cyn sighed. “Then don’t, Dad. I couldn’t make you believe it then, and I doubt I can now. But I’m taking control of my life. I’m not going to visit Mom anymore. Not until she gets some help. I’ll even go to counseling with her. But being with her, alone, isn’t good for me.” She left the table. “I’ll see myself out.”
Before she got to the front closet to retrieve her coat, Nina and Matt were th
ere.
Nina took her in a big hug. “I’m so sorry, Cyn. I should have been vocal about this before.”
“No. It was up to me to put a stop to it.”
Matt looked baffled. “I don’t get it. It’s so…weird. How could she be so mean and none of us knew?”
“Or didn’t want to know,” Nina said quietly. “Even you told me your mom was harder on Cyn than you growing up.”
“Harder, but… She really said those things to you all these years?”
“Yes, Matt. She did. It wasn’t just once every now and then. It was all the time until I left.”
He looked upset. “I’m sorry, Cyn. I never realized.”
“I should have gotten counselling for this a long time ago. My therapist thinks Mom has unresolved issues with Aunt Sharon and her own mother. It makes sense. If Grandma Isabelle was abusive to Mom and Sharon, then maybe Mom is doing it to me and not realizing it. But I’m done.”
She shrugged into her coat and put on her boots. “I’m not scheduled to come in tomorrow. But I think I’ll take Sunday off too, if that’s all right.”
“Don’t worry about it. We’ll have it covered. That’s if we’re even open.” They looked out the front window at the snow. Matt gave Cyn another hug. “Text us that you got back home okay. I don’t like the look of the weather.”
“Yeah, better get going before you’re snowed in here,” Nina whispered, and all three shared a low laugh.
Feeling much better than she had in a long time, Cyn hustled through the snow to her car. She had an urge to call Foley and tell him what had happened. Would he want to hear from her? Considering she hadn’t made up her mind about him yet, should she call him?
The answer was taken from her when her phone buzzed. She glanced down to see a text from Foley.
Mom hosptal. Virg Mason. Acidnt. Thawt u shld no.
* * *
Foley couldn’t stop pacing. He’d gotten the call from Jacob two hours ago but had only just been able to reach the hospital. His mother had been in the ER for a while, and no one would fucking tell him anything!
“What happened?” he asked Jacob.
Jacob sat with Sam, his head in his hands, bandages on his wrist and forehead. He looked terrible, and he’d been crying. “The car came out of nowhere. It hit a patch of ice, I think, before hitting us then ramming into a telephone pole. The driver was dead before the ambulance came for your mother. That damn car hit us in the wrong spot. God. It should have been me.” He looked up, and Foley saw the twisted pain on the poor guy’s face.
“Should you be out here?” Sam asked, his voice a low grumble.
“I’m fine. I need to know if Eileen is all right.”
Foley swallowed hard. “How was she when they took her in?”
More tears appeared in Jacob’s eyes. “Not good. She wouldn’t wake up, and there was blood.” He blew his nose in a hankie. “She broke her leg. Her shin, I think. Bone went right through the skin.”
“Jesus.” Sam looked pale.
“But she’ll be okay.” Foley kept thinking that. Anything else just wasn’t acceptable.
“She’ll be okay.” Sam patted Jacob on the shoulder, being careful.
Foley wanted to plant his fist into something. Someone. “What the hell were you guys doing on the road?”
“It was my fault. Your mother insisted on going to a friend’s party. I should have put my foot down and said no. But she wanted to go, and I wanted t-to—” Jacob wiped more tears and took a soothing breath. “Make her happy.”
Foley pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing Jacob wasn’t at fault. “An accident, that’s all it was.” He didn’t know how to feel. Someone should have been by to talk to them by now, right? So where was a doctor? A nurse?
The waiting room had filled, the road conditions fucking everything up. But Foley didn’t care about anyone else. He wanted to know about his mother. Then a horrified thought struck him. What if Cyn had been caught out in this weather?
Nah. Smart girl like that would stay indoors, where it was safe. Best not to borrow trouble.
He saw a nurse hustle by and was on his feet. “Hey. I need to know about my mother. Hey, you.” He grew louder, knew he sounded belligerent and didn’t care, not even when he heard someone call for security. If anything happened to his mother, he didn’t know what he’d do.
* * *
Cyn was out of breath by the time she finally found Sam and Jacob in a large hospital waiting area. “Where’s Foley? How’s Eileen?” she asked, panting.
Sam saw her and nodded. “Eileen’s still in surgery. We think. No one will tell us a goddamn thing,” he said, raising his voice.
A nurse at the front desk scowled at him.
Cyn hurried to the woman. “I’m so sorry. I’ll keep him quiet.”
“You’d better.”
Cyn didn’t like the woman’s attitude. “I know it’s an imposition, but is there any way to know if Eileen Sanders is doing okay?”
“You’ll know when I know,” the nurse said stiffly. “Now if you don’t mind—”
“But I do. Mind, that is.” Cyn put on her sales face, the one that had pushed her past mediocre to financial success. “You see, those two men over there and another big one that’s no doubt caused all sorts of trouble, love that woman to death. She’s sacrificed everything for them. Single mom, multiple jobs over the years, taking on loans, doing anything and everything for her boys.”
The nurse started to soften.
“Then after thirty years of being alone and worked to death, she gets a chance at love, only to have it taken away in a horrible accident. So I’m sorry they’re being a pain, and that they yelled. And yes, you get this type of trauma and worse all the time. But surely if it was you in that seat, hoping your mother or father, husband or wife, son or daughter lived, you’d be that anxious to know something, wouldn’t you?”
The nurse stared at Cyn a moment then sighed. “Hold on.” She made a phone call and hung up. “Ms. Sanders just went into surgery. That’s all I know.”
“Thank you.”
The nurse nodded, and Cyn rejoined Sam and Jacob to give them the news. Where the heck was Foley? “What happened?”
Jacob described the accident. “It’s a hell of a mess. Let me find Foley for you.”
“I’ll come with you,” she offered.
“No, sit here with Sam. I’ll get him.” He groaned when he rose, but otherwise seemed steady on his feet.
Sam sat and tapped his foot. She sat beside him on the three-person bench and shrugged out of her jacket.
She felt awful for him. “I’m so sorry, Sam.”
“Shitty day.” He frowned at her. “I thought you guys were on a break.”
“I got Foley’s text.” She sat next to him and took his hand in hers, startling him. “I’m so sorry. I know Eileen loves you all so much. She’d feel terrible knowing you were scared for her.”
Sam stared at her, then lowered his gaze, his blue-gray eyes narrowed on her hand holding his. Like a wolf in pain, wondering whether to gnaw his hand out of the trap. “How do you know what she’d want?”
“She and I have grown close. She’s a wonderful woman. You and Foley are lucky to have her.”
His gaze whipped to her face. “Are you crying?”
“Yes, dumbass,” she snapped. “I’m crying. Happy?”
He shocked her with a flash of a smile that appeared and disappeared in a heartbeat. “I’m not happy you’re sad. This situation sucks.”
“It does.” She clung to the strength in his large hand. “She’s told me all kinds of stories about you guys, you know.”
“Yeah?” He didn’t let go of her.
“Yeah. The one where you two glued your teacher to his seat was a funny one.”
He gave a surprising chuckle. “Good
times.” He paused. “She paddled my ass for it too. Same thing she did to Foley. And I was twelve at the time.”
“Then she told me about you two fighting over what she thought was a girl in high school. Said you broke three lamps and almost lost a tooth. Only to find out the girl was actually a car. Man, was she mad about those lamps.”
“She’s a stickler for keeping the house neat.” His voice broke. “A tight-ass for sure.” He bit his lip and blinked at her.
To her shock, tears filled his eyes. “Oh, Sam. She’ll be okay.”
“She’d better,” he growled, making no effort to wipe his cheeks dry. “She still owes me for inviting you and Foley to that stupid dinner without me.”
“She really does,” Cyn agreed and drew Sam to her in an awkward hug.
After a tense moment, he lifted her onto his lap and buried his head against her shoulder. She couldn’t feel him crying, but her shirt turned wet.
Poor Sam. She cradled his head and stroked his hair. “It’ll be all right. She’s strong. She’ll make it.”
“She’s all I have,” he whispered.
“Nah. You have Foley and the guys at the garage. And me, if you’ll have me.”
He lifted his head, staring as if he could see into her soul. “Is that right?”
“And not in a sexual way, you perv.” She smiled through tears. “Any friend of Foley’s is a friend of mine. Well, except for Celine. I’m not fond of dancers.”
Sam cracked a smile then hugged her.
When he pulled back, he set her next to him on the bench. “I’m sorry, Cyn.”
“For crying? Please. It’s nice to see you’re human under all that toughness.”
“I’m sorry for being an asshole.”
“Which time?”
He frowned, and she was forced to admit that even teared up, Sam Hamilton had a rare male beauty, full of pain and pleasure and a raw wildness that Foley had never possessed. That wildness was a little too much for her to handle, but not too much to be friends with.
“Kidding.” She continued to hold his hand, pleasantly surprised he let her.
