by Dianne Drake
“Your father told her he was preparing Michael for the one who came after.” Joanna slipped the cuff over Michael’s arm, took the stethoscope from Chay, stuck it in her own ears and listened. “One-fifteen over seventy-five. Perfect!”
“Meaning you.”
Joanna glanced at Chay sitting casually next to the bed now, as if this were an ordinary visit between two friends. Hawk Reservation needed Chay. And deep down she had the feeling that Chay needed Hawk. But the reconciliation was going to be a tough one, if there was to be a reconciliation at all. “Meaning you, Chay. You were the one who came after, and your father realized that.”
“My father realizes nothing about me,” he said, his voice unusually calm for such a pronouncement.
Many years of practicing avoidance and distance, Joanna decided. And many years of pain.
CHAPTER FIVE
“HE’S doing fine. Surgery fixed the fracture, no circulatory compromise, so he’ll be up and about in a few weeks, so long as he stays away from football for a few months.” It was after midnight now and Chay was tired to the bone. First the helicopter ride in to Billings, then hanging around with the Red Elks during Michael’s surgery and staying afterward while Michael was still in Recovery had completely wiped him out. Sure, he was used to working long hours. He did it all the time, in fact. But not long hours with such high drama, and his wipeout was as much emotional as physical.
The ride back to Rising Sun with Fred Red Elk didn’t help matters either. Fred wanted to talk, wanted reassurances about Michael, when all Chay wanted to do was sleep. Actually, he’d planned on crashing in an on-call room somewhere in the hospital and catching a ride back to Rising Sun in the morning, but Fred had to get back in order to show up for work at the ranch bright and early in the morning, so Chay had ridden along for moral support. As it turned out, Fred was one of Leonard’s foremen—a responsible position he took seriously. So seriously, in fact, that he left his wife at the hospital with Michael and would drive that three-hundred-mile round trip tomorrow evening, and every other day it would be necessary, to spend a few minutes with the two of them. Most men would have called off work for a day or two, Chay thought. But the men out here didn’t do that. Even under dire circumstances, such as a sick little boy, doing something like that probably never crossed their minds.
“How long are they going to keep him?” Joanna asked as Chay nearly staggered through the front door to the clinic.
“About a week, since he’s still at risk of infection. I think they’d like to do some physical therapy—I know that’s what I ordered. But the Red Elks wouldn’t talk about it.”
“Because the Red Elks can’t afford it, and there’s no place remotely close to here where Michael could get it even if they did have the money.” She handed him a slice of hot pizza as he dropped down into the first chair he came to. “I’ve got some PT references. I’ll read up and see what I can do for him.”
Why did she do this to herself? he wondered. Hard, hard work, practically no pay, lousy hours, even lousier working conditions. And she was about to take on something that wasn’t even close to her normal duties. “Have you ever considered doing something else?” he asked, stretching back, kicking his boots up on the chair across from him and relaxing for the first time in hours. “Maybe trying another kind of medicine?”
“Always wanted to be a ballet dancer, but I can’t dance.”
“Seriously. Have you ever thought about switching?”
“Seriously, no. I was raised in a place like this, Chay, only in West Virginia. Dirt-poor people, no jobs, no money, no health care. My mom died of pneumonia when I was seven because she couldn’t afford to go to the doctor. My dad drank himself to death two years later because he didn’t care enough to live. I think, for as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be someone who helped. And it’s not about the money or the working conditions. It’s about doing whatever I can do. You know, making a difference.”
“I like to think that I make a difference in my practice.” And he didn’t have to make all the sacrifices to do it that Joanna did.
“Sure, you make a difference, and, please, don’t take this the wrong way, but if you walked away from it tomorrow, one of your partners would take over for you, or they’d hire someone else. If I walked away from here tomorrow, these people would have no one. Did you know that it took nearly eighteen months to fill the last vacant position here? The last doctor quit a year and a half before I got here, Chay. Sure, there’s always help over in Billings, or up in Fort Peck, but that’s a long way away for someone like Michael who has a compartment injury and might lose his leg for a lack of getting to that help in time.” She shrugged. “We live in different worlds, and there’s nothing wrong with either one of them. People in Chicago need you the way you are, and people here need me the way I am.”
“Are you happy here?”
“Happier than I’ve ever been anywhere else.”
He shook his head. “Can’t say that I understand it, but I admire your dedication.”
“Well, my dedication’s going to take me on the road for the next couple of days, so I need to call it a night and grab a few hours of sleep. I’ve set up a cot down here for me, so you can have the bed tonight. Since I’ll probably be up earlier than you are, let me just say that it’s been interesting meeting you, Dr Ducheneaux. And a pleasure working with you. You’re welcome to come back any time.” She held out her hand to shake his. “And make sure you lock up when you leave.”
He took her hand. Firm shake. He liked that in a woman. It meant confidence, and if there was one thing Joanna Killian was about, it was confidence. “So you just up and leave?”
“Yep. That’s what a circuit doctor does. A couple of days here, a couple of days there.”
“And when does the circuit doctor have time for a personal life?”
“Never.” She stood and headed to the examining room where she’d put the cot. “Goodnight, Chay. See you when I get back if you’re still here. If not, have a safe trip.”
Chay sat there alone for several minutes, thinking about happiness. He was happy, he thought. Nice life, nice medical practice. All the advantages. Joanna was happy, too. Happy here! And it was all wrapped up in her work. She lived in an impoverished little town, barely had supplies enough to run a clinic, worked ungodly hours. No advantages at all, and she was still happy. “Amazing,” he murmured, as he finally slogged up the stairs. “Amazing woman.” It didn’t seem right, this life she was living. It was too hard for someone to do alone. But that’s what she did and she didn’t complain. And him…Well, he complained if his golf game every other Saturday morning got rained out. Different worlds was right.
After a quick shower he fell into bed, sure he would fall asleep the instant his head hit the pillow. But he didn’t because he couldn’t get Joanna out of his mind. The pillows, the sheets smelled like her tonight, he thought as he lowered himself onto the bed. A slight hint of lilac. Maybe her soap, since Joanna seemed the practical type, meaning she’d buy a patient reading glasses rather than treat herself to a luxury like perfume. A woman like Joanna deserved perfume, though. She also deserved her bed, and not some uncomfortable cot stuck in an examining room.
Even so, Chay lingered another few minutes, enjoying the scent of her surrounding him. Breathing it in, fantasizing…Beyond his lowered eyelids Joanna was naked, and this time it had nothing to do with him catching her accidentally. She was pulling off her T-shirt for him, slipping out of her jeans, pulling off that infernal baseball cap she always tucked that glorious red mane up under. And she was coming to his bed…straight into his open arms…He opened his eyes. Except Joanna didn’t have time for a social life and, with any luck, in another day or so his own social life would be back in Chicago.
He got out of bed, plodded down the stairs and went straight to the examining room. “I was going to let you have the bed tonight since you’re going to be on the road tomorrow. But as I’m going with you, I’ve d
ecided to keep the bed myself. Just thought you should know that.” That said, he plodded back to bed, wondering what in the world he’d just done. And why.
“Sorry I missed spending yesterday afternoon with you,” Chay said to his mother after giving her an affectionate peck on the cheek. The diner opened early, and Joanna wasn’t even up yet when he’d left. He’d gone first to his grandmother’s house to gather a few of his old clothes out of her attic—jeans and T-shirts instead of his usual khakis and polos, plus a pair of comfortable cowboy boots he’d bought twenty years ago. And his hat, of course. Traditional cowboy style, black, with a white feather in it. The feather was supposed to signify that he was an Indian, although he didn’t know if it really did, but it looked good. It had been a long time since he’d seen these clothes, and Macawi hadn’t said a word when he’d told her why he was taking them. She’d simply kissed him on the cheek and given him that devilish glint.
“Joanna called after you left for Billings. That was a good thing you did, Chayton. I’m glad you were able to help Michael. She said he might have lost his leg otherwise.”
He didn’t want to talk about it, because that simply brought him closer to a place he didn’t want to be. And he couldn’t afford close. Not to Rising Sun, not to the people there. “I saw Dad at the Red Elks’,” he said, purposely changing the subject. “Did he mention it to you?” Not a chance, Chay knew. Not a damned chance.
Wenona shook her head, confirming what he already knew. “No, but I guessed as much. He wasn’t in a very good mood last night when he came home. Refused his supper, and went to bed early.”
“He’s not looking good, Mom.”
“He’s tired.”
“He needs to see a doctor…Joanna. After she gets back.”
“He won’t do that.”
Wenona tried to scurry away to get the coffeepot, but Chay reached across the counter and grabbed her hand. “I’m going out with Joanna for a couple of days. When we get back I’ll go talk to him.”
“He won’t listen to you, Chayton. You know that.”
“Maybe he won’t listen in his heart, but he’ll hear the words.” And perhaps that was the best he could do for his father. “Now, how about you go rustle up some biscuits for me to take on the road?” He kissed the back of her hand. “And a large cola, extra cherry. Make that two. We got to bed late last night and Joanna might need a little sugar and caffeine boost to get herself going this morning.”
“ We got to bed?” Wenona shot him a brooding scowl. “What do you mean, we?”
“As in me upstairs, her downstairs. Now, about those biscuits…”
“What are you doing there?” Joanna asked, tossing a duffel bag into the back of her Jeep. Chayton was sitting in the passenger seat, looking a whole lot better than she’d ever seen him look. Jeans, T-shirt, and that hat. Gorgeous was an understatement. He was drop-dead and beyond, if there was anything beyond drop-dead gorgeous. Made to order, if she could have ordered, but she simply didn’t have time. Not even for casual. It was a pity. She liked him. Sure, he had issues to deal with, but didn’t everybody? He was a good doctor, compassionate even if he didn’t want to admit it, and perfect company for a lonely girl in the Big Open. Big pity.
“Waiting for you.”
“Waiting for me to do what?”
“Leave.”
“And?” She saw his duffel bag in the back. Now she was confused.
“And I’m going with you.” He held out the giant-sized soda. “It’s not too early for this, is it? I know some people go with coffee or orange juice to start the day, but since I couldn’t find a café…”
She took the drink and noticed the basket of hot biscuits sitting between the two seats. “What’s this about, Chay?”
“Like I said last night, I’m going with you. When I told you, you didn’t object, so…”
“When you told me I must have been asleep, because I don’t remember it.” That was a bit of a lie, actually. She did remember, but she’d been afraid it had only been a dream. Or wishful thinking. And wishful thinking not so much as a doctor who wanted help, but as a woman who was already getting excited over the prospect of spending a couple of days with him. He wasn’t the talkative type, they were complete opposites in just about every sense of the word, and she bet if she searched every inch of the nearly two thousand square miles of Hawk Reservation, she wouldn’t find a common goal between them. Apparently, that made it a hormonal reaction to him—her hormones getting all hot and bothered over his. But that would work, for a couple of days. Besides, going from one job to another, she hadn’t had a real holiday in years. A couple of days of splashing hormones with Chay might just give her a little of that on-holiday feeling. A feeling she didn’t have to act on, of course.
Just a feeling…just a feeling…Say it three times and she might even believe it. She hoped so. “It’s all about work,” she told him, a little too adamantly. It almost sounded silly. “You understand that, don’t you?”
He tilted his hat up to look at her. “Uh-huh,” he drawled lazily. “Work.”
“And it’s not the kind of medicine to which you’re accustomed. We’re going to be looking at hemorrhoids and fungal infections. Everyday ailments, and they come in all varieties.”
He tilted his hat back down and slid down into the seat. “Uh-huh. Sore butts and athlete’s foot.”
“You need bedding.”
“Got it.”
“If it rains, we may have to go into Fishback Creek on horseback.”
“I can ride.”
“Bareback.”
He tilted his hat back up, cocked his head at her and grinned. “My people haven’t ridden bareback for a century. But if that’s what you want to do, go for it.” Then the hat went back down.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked. Naturally, she wanted him to tell her he was looking forward to two days with her, riding with her, working with her, sleeping with…Well, she was going to let that one go for now. But an inkling of a reason having to do with him wanting to be with her might have been pleasant. Most likely, though, he was working out some kind of deep-rooted guilt. That was the way it always was, it seemed. That was why Paul, her ex, had taken up her dream long enough to slip the wedding ring on her finger. He had been suffering some kind of misplaced societal guilt over the conditions of the poor at the time. But when he’d got into those conditions with her down in Haiti, and had discovered even his guilt wasn’t enough to compel him to do the hard, dirty work required, he had quit practice to write a textbook on the very thing he couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do himself. Then he went on the lecture circuit around the world, talking about the medical needs of the underclass, and had made quite a success of it. But while he had been out talking, she had been back in Haiti, doing. Two worlds, so far apart they never had got back together.
Once bitten, twice shy. She simply wasn’t going to allow Chay, in his different world, to bite. Not hard anyway.
But maybe just a nibble?
“Why am I doing this?” he muttered from under his hat. “I saw you naked. Remember? Gorgeous, perfect, a sight to remember. And I was hoping that out there in the wilds, I might just get lucky.”
Joanna forced back a laugh. A little nibble might not be so bad after all. “Well, Mr Lucky, how about you scoot over and drive while I sit back, relax, drink soda and eat biscuits?” Not bad at all.
About ten miles outside of Rising Sun, Joanna hit Chay with the one thing she knew wasn’t going to make him happy. “I’ve got to stop at the ranch and give some immunizations to the workers there.” She watched him for a reaction, but he didn’t even flinch. “Did you hear me?”
“I heard you.”
“And?”
“And nothing. We stop at the ranch.”
“What about your dad?”
“He’ll stay away from me. I can deal with it.”
“I’m sorry about the way he treated you yesterday.”
“He didn’t treat me any way.”
Chay swerved off the road to the drive leading up to the main gates of Hawk Cattle Ranch.
Actually, calling it a cattle ranch was a bit of a misnomer. Over the years the operation had added a dairy concern to provide fresh milk to the reservation, chickens for the eggs, sheep for the wool, and a farm rich with barley and several root crops, including potatoes and sugar beets. It employed hundreds of people throughout the entire reservation, and Chay’s dad was in charge. He’d gone to the community college in Fort Peck, had earned his degrees in agriculture and business management, then returned home as was expected of him. As had been expected of Chay. There were no secrets on the reservation, and Joanna was uneasy with this first stop. But she had the flu vaccine ready to go, and it was her job. “Look, you can leave me here, go back to Rising Sun then come back in a couple of hours. Or stay in the Jeep and take a nap or something. There’s really no need for you to—”
“Like I told you, he’ll avoid me, Joanna. And I can deal with that. OK? It’s not a big deal.”
“OK.” She may have said the word, but nothing about this felt OK to her. And Chay certainly didn’t sound OK. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do. This appointment had been arranged for weeks, and she had to follow through. But she did feel badly for him. She also felt badly for Leonard. Being estranged from someone you should love, and who, deep down, you probably still did, had to be tough. “Look, I’m going to set up in the administration building. I have a list of the men and women who will be getting shots, and all we do is check them off when we give them. They’ll be waiting.”
And they were. More than two hundred people, if everyone on her list showed up. The line wound down the hall into the makeshift clinic that had been set up for her, then outside and all the way around the building. Her accommodation was simply a table and a chair in an otherwise empty storage closet, and one by one each of those two hundred people would wander in, roll up a shirt sleeve for the vaccination, then wander back out. “Maybe we could double the line,” she said, “since you’re here. You take one line, I take the other.”
