by Martin Tays
Moses looked over toward where Mattie and No had joined the twist-ing trio. They were all now singing along:
“Let me go home
Why don’t they let me go home?
This is the worst trip
I’ve ever been on!”
Moses pointedly ignored the fact that they all turned toward him when they sang the last part. He burped politely, stared at his now empty glass suspiciously, and turned toward the alien.
“Tell you what. You want grand? I’ll play you the greatest piece of music ever written.”
Ami put her hand over her eyes. “Oh, no.”
S’Nhu-gli looked over to Ami, then back to Moses questioningly. In response Moses went over to the wall console and whispered a command. The Beach Boys abruptly stopped, drawing complaints from the dancers. Moses ignored them, braced his feet carefully apart and began quietly singing along as the first a cappella words began.
“Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality…”
Ami had started quietly pounding her head against the bulkhead when the piano began and the mercurial voice of Freddy Mercury flowed across the room.
S’Nhu-gli, staring at Moses’ odd performance, glanced past him to see Sandar’s expression suddenly change. She had been sitting quietly in the corner for the entire party so far, avoiding all attempts at conversation. Now, though, she was staring at the door to the compartment with a stunned look on her face.
He turned and followed her gaze to see Cath standing in the door. Her face looked drawn, but oddly calm. She was staring right at S’Nhu-gli as she began voicelessly mouthing the lyrics.
“Mama… I just killed a man.
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger, now he’s dead.
Mama… life had just begun,
But now I’ve gone and throw it all away.”
Everyone was now staring at Cath, afraid to move. Moses quickly turned and slapped the panel. There was a single moment of utter stillness.
Cath stared at Moses, who stared back uncertainly. She looked away to catch the priest’s eyes, then she deliberately turned toward Sandar, whose expression defied description. Cath walked over.
Sandar stood, then, hesitantly, never taking her eyes off Cath’s face. The engineer stared at her for a long time, an endless time, then abruptly reached out and enveloped the surprised girl in a bone crushing embrace. Sandar reached up, still slightly uncertain, then wrapped her arms around Cath’s back. Both were crying.
Moses looked over toward the doctor, who had quietly entered behind Cath, with a confused look. Clive shrugged and pointed toward S’Nhu-gli.
Moses looked at the alien, back to the two women, and then at S’Nhu-gli again. “Huh. That’s… you, uh… how the hell did you accomplish that?”
S’Nhu-gli cocked his head, regarding Moses. Finally, he said “Friend C’Hath and I have had a very fruitful discussion.”
“Yeah? About what, exactly?”
“Clothing repair.”
“Oh.” He looked over at Ami, who looked to be as clueless as he was, then turned back to the priest. “You realize that made not a lick of sense.”
“Of course.”
“Okay. Just so you know. Good job, anyway.”
“Thank you.” He looked around the room, where everyone but Cath and Sandar were staring at him. “Perhaps some more music might be in order? Or, failing that, some more of that Springsteen fellow?”
“Um, yeah, sure. Right. Ami, would you like to…?” Moses pointed to the console.
“Oh, dear Lord, yes. Thank you.” She moved over to the console and soon the air was filled with music from a recent Earth group with the unlikely name of Nuns In A Blender. Around the room, people shook their heads, turned to each other, and began to dance.
Moses picked up a spare glass of punch, nodded to S’Nhu-gli, and walked over to where Cath was now sitting, Sandar tight up against her. Neither were talking. Neither needed to.
He handed her the drink. “Here. Thought you might need this.”
Cath took the glass, stared into it for a moment, then took a sip. She blinked and looked back up. “Huh. That doesn’t half suck.”
“Doug. He has this weird idea that booze should be palatable.”
“He’ll learn.”
“Probably.” Moses looked down at her a moment. “So. How you feel?”
“Like shit.”
“Ah.”
“But…” She smiled a small but real smile, then closed her eyes as she reached out and put her hand over Sandar’s. She sighed, then finished simply. “I’ll live.”
Moses looked back and caught S’Nhu’gli’s eye. The alien priest just stared back, expressionless. He finally turned back. “Good. That’s good. We were worried about you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. You look like hell, by the way.”
Cath snarfed just tiniest bit of punch, then shook her head and laughed. “You’re a fucker, Moses.”
“Yep.” He waved vaguely toward the rest of the room. “Well, gotta go mingle.”
Cath stared at him as he walked away, then turned back toward Sandar. She reached out, put her hand on the side of her face, and used her thumb to gently brush the tears from under Sandar’s eyes. “You’re leaking.”
Sandar responded by closing her eyes and burying her face into Cath’s shoulder. Cath could barely hear her voice over the music. “Please don’t leave me.”
Cath softly kissed the top of her head. “Sorry, pumpkin. Sorry.” She then bent her head and rested her cheek on Sandar’s soft brown hair. She looked out toward S’Nhu-gli, who merely wrinkled his muzzle and went off to speak with the doctor.
“Today,” She finally said, looking back down toward Sandar, “is today.”
“I’ve wondered, sometimes, what we traded for immortality. When you only have a brief time on Earth, you have this need to prove yourself, to leave a mark, to make a difference. When you have all the time in the world, does it really matter?”
“So you’re saying you would prefer to die of old age if it meant you’d have a purpose?”
“What?!? Not on your bloody life!”
Ob Hughes, philosopher, on “Charlie Varis Interviews…”
“When the riot police finally appeared on the scene, most of the students had already dispersed. One, who stated that he was a spokesman for the group, remained behind to read the following statement:
‘We wish for it to be known that we believe that the recent move to increase the Age Of Majority is ill advised. If the age is changed, then we as University students will be placed at a severe disadvantage. Please… we beg of you… leave the Age Of Majority where it belongs, at forty years old. Thank you.”
From The University Of Ohio’s Student Newspaper
Chapter 25
“I am an old man, but in many senses a very young man. And this is what I want you to be ― young, young all your life.”
Pablo Casals
“That is a whole passel of weasels.”
Moses was astonished at the crowd surrounding the newly landed shuttle. The port was more crowded than any Moses had ever seen in his life. A circle a couple of hundred meters across had been cleared to allow the shuttle from the Endeavour to land, but once he had powered down the engines the lines had been moved forward.
Or, more precisely, the crowds had surged forward, overwhelming the security lines and moving up close enough to the still hot craft that Moses was actually a bit worried that the excited onlookers would start bursting into flames.
�
�So.” Moses said, turning toward his guest — well, now his host ― “How do you make an extraterrestrial sound like a dog?”
“Moses!” Ami cried. “Shush!”
“A point of order.” Asked S’Nhu-gli from the custom couch Leo had rigged at the life support station. “Is a passel more or less than a buttload?”
“Huh. I’ve never actually quantified it. Ami?”
“More, I would think.”
“I see. Thank you.” The wiry priest unfastened his safety belts and came to the front of the small bridge. “My people are enthused, I believe.”
“No shit, Sherlock.” Moses replied, looking back out over the crowd. “I keep expecting to see a ‘John 3:16’ sign.”
S’Nhu-gli looked over to Ami, who just shrugged.
“You folks about ready?” Mattie had stuck her head in through the bridge door.
“Yep.” Moses replied. “Everyone okay back there?”
“Fine.” She snapped her fingers. “Oh! And I have a message for you from Leo. He asked me to deliver it once we touched down.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“’You suck’.”
“Ah.” Leo and Sher had lost the toss, and remained behind, standing watch onboard the ship. “That’s understandable. Glad he’s taking it so well.”
“I keep promising myself I’m going to have a DNA test done. There’s no way he’s my brother.”
Moses smiled. “Actually, it’s surprising how much you two are alike.”
“Oh. Gee. Thanks.” Ami stuck her tongue out at him. “See if you get any, tonight.”
“Crap. Hey! Maybe I can find some local action.” Moses turned and looked at the others. All, S’Nhu-gli included, were staring at him. “Okay. Sorry. Bad idea.”
“Now that’s an image that’ll linger.” Mattie said, smacking the side of her head with the palm of her hand.“Thanks, Moses. And once again, are you folk about ready?”
Moses turned again to look at the crowd out of the shuttle window. “Yeah, Mattie, I guess we are.” He stood abruptly and turned back to the group. “Let’s go.”
“Before we leave…”
Moses turned to S’Nhu-gli. “Yes?”
“How do you make an extraterrestrial sound like a dog?”
“Easy. You merely shove them up against a hot shuttle and…” Moses made an expansive gesture with his hands. “Woof!”
S’Nhu-gli sighed. “Why did I ask?”
Ami glanced over. “I was wondering that, myself.”
☼
The sound of the hatch sighing open and hitting its stops was the only noise the small group of people crowded into the shuttle airlock could hear. Beyond, the crowded mass of S’Nhu-gli’s people stood silent, staring into the darkened portal.
Moses turned toward S’Nhu-gli and gestured toward the door. “You’re the hometown hero. You go first.”
S’Nhu-gli looked at Moses, then back toward the opening. A ramped platform had been pushed into place. He took a deep breath of wonderfully clean air and stepped outside.
There was a brief moment of silence, then a thunderous accolade washed across him, almost physical in its intensity. He looked behind him and gestured toward his daughter. T’Han-mri came forward hesitantly.
When she emerged into the sunlight the level of the noise doubled. It was all S’Nhu-gli could do to avoid folding his ears back in reaction. He tucked his midfeet politely against his stomach and gestured with his forefeet, but it did no good. The crowd just roared louder.
Finally, he gave up, turned and beckoned toward Moses.
Moses took a deep breath himself. He reached out blindly and grasped Ami’s hand. Together, they stepped out into the harsh sunlight of Ascella prime.
Silence abruptly descended, as if the sound had been cut off with a switch. Ami squeezed his hand, hard, as they both looked out over the crowd. Finally, a bit hesitantly, Moses raised his other hand, waggled his fingers at the assembled multitude, and said “Um. Hi?”
A thunderous roar again erupted from the crowd. A grin split Moses’ face in response. He turned toward S’Nhu-gli and tried to speak, but no one could hear him. Finally, after nearly a minute of deafening cheers, the priest finally managed to calm the enthusiastic crowd down.
“Friends!” S’Nhu-gli shouted. Cheers again erupted, but died down quickly. “Friends, I am grateful to be able to present to you my new friends M’Hoses and A’Hmee, humaans from the planet Earth.” More cheers. “They have traveled vast distances to come to meet us today. Please, make them welcome!”
More insanely loud screaming and cheering. Moses looked around the crowd and muttered “Weaselpalooza.” Finally, he leaned close to his host and yelled. “Just what the hell did you tell them!?”
“I told them you said ‘howdy’!”
“Ah!” Moses shouted in reply. “Yeah, that’s about right! Thanks!”
“What?!?”
“I said… oh, never mind!” He looked up. “It looks like our ride’s here! I said it looks like… oh, hell.” Moses gave up and pointed.
S’Nhu-gli turned and saw a ground car approaching. Not just any ground car, either ― this was the Emperor’s personal vehicle. Very few save the Emperor and his immediate family were allowed to ride in it. S’Nhu-gli had not even seen the inside, before.
The ground car approached, stopping at the foot of the ramp. A member of the Emperor’s Own emerged from the front of the car and opened the door for them. Moses noted that, polite though he was, he never stopped scanning the crowd.
Or the humans, for that matter.
At S’Nhu-gli’s gesture, Moses held his arm out to Ami. The two moved down the ramp, following the priest and his daughter as they moved toward the car.
Behind them, the other humans followed. Mattie and No were being remarkably dignified, especially compared to Doug, who made kissy motions at the crowd until smacked by Fiona.
Cath and Sandar were next. Cath still looked drawn and pale, but Sandar was so obviously thrilled at the proceedings that it was difficult for Cath to avoid smiling, herself. She gripped Sandar’s hand tightly as they followed Doug and Fi toward the car.
Last came Doctor Smith. The doctor seemed utterly fascinated by the crowd around him, to the point that he almost tripped at the base of the ramp. He recovered himself, shrugged at Moses, and came over to join the group by the car.
Inside, the seats were, naturally enough, set up for those of S’Nhu-gli’s race. Both he and T’Han-mri settled into them with contented sighs. Moses tried, and failed, to contort himself into one, giving up when he realized that there was not enough headroom when in them to avoid smacking his head on the roof.
Fortunately, the vehicle was huge, and there was enough room for him and his friends to sit on the floor. This had the added bonus of putting him at about eye level with the recumbent S’Nhu-gli.
The guard looked in, glared at either their impropriety or their existence, and shut the door. The sound from the crowd cut off abruptly. Moses turned to look around the inside. He had to admit, it was the swankiest transportation he’d ever legally been in. Even the floor they’d been relegated to was cushy. He smiled. “You know, a fellow could get used to this. Assuming, you know, that they figured out the shape of my ass and made appropriate accommodations.”
“You are being given a singular honor, you realize.” S’Nhu-gli said, gesturing at the interior of the car.
“Oh?” Moses looked over to the priest. “How’s that?”
“You are being transported in the Emperor’s personal groundcar for your audience with him. Most remarkable.”
“Wait a minute.” Moses held up his hand. “Okay, now… Emperor? Really? As in I’m-the-king-of-the-castle Emperor? I’ve been kind of assumed we were having a communications
problem. You guys actually have an Emperor?”
“Of course.” S’Nhu-gli turned to look him in the eyes. “It really is the only logical method of governance. Much better than your snout counting.”
“Surrrrrrre.” Moses replied, not quite rolling his eyes. “I have two words to say in response to that: ‘George’ and ‘Third’. ‘Cause that turned out so well for the monarchy home team.”
“Moses!”
“A long time ago, things were different.” S’Nhu-gli voice changed as he waved a forefoot out at the world around them. “There were many lands in our world, and many means of governance. Then everything changed.”
Moses looked out of the tinted windows. “The probe.”
“Correct. The Interloper.”
“Jesus.” He looked back toward S’Nhu-gli. “We’ve just utterly fucked you guys over, haven’t we?”
“No action results in only intended consequences.” The priest replied, meeting his eyes levelly. “None can. None should. When The Interloper came, and the moon fell, there was chaos. And out of that Chaos there arose one person who grasped the consequences of what had occurred, and who realized that to face a possible threat from another world we must be as one.” S’Nhu-gli spread his hands. “So he conquered the world.”
Moses blinked. “Just… like that?”
“Well… it was somewhat more complex.” S’Nhu’gli’s muzzle wrinkled in reply. “It helped that he was a high official in… in your words the country would be named ‘Sun Land’, and it was the largest unified country unaffected by the disaster. His actions when he grasped the consequences of what occurred were quick and sure. He seized control of that country and proclaimed himself A’Sa-Men-thot, which means ‘Emperor of the World’.” Both S’Nhu-gli and his daughter ducked their heads briefly at the mention of the name. “Over the next ten of our years his troops made that fact a reality as they defeated the already shattered lands about him. And then he turned his eyes to the stars.”
