by Martin Tays
“Cooked? Just lead it out here and distract it a moment.”
“Fair enough. Standby for the feast.” He bounded off toward the Galley.
Moses shook his head and turned to the group. “Alright, then, who wants to get the old man a drink?”
☼
“Are you sure about this?”
Cath continued staring into the vid window. She replied without turning. “How many times are you going to ask me that?”
Sandar pushed over from the helm where she’d been keeping watch. “Um. Three more?”
“Okay. I’m keeping track.” Cath turned, finally, toward Sandar. She smiled at the hurt puppy dog expression on her face. “Look, kid, it’s something I’ve got to do.”
“I know. Damn it. I just hate to leave the ship.”
“I know, but it’s just… wait. Fuck what?”
“Think I’m going to let you go alone?” Sandar smiled and reached out to grab Cath’s hand. “Where you go, I go.”
“Oh.” Cath considered what to say, then just gave up and pulled Sandar in to wrap her arms around her. “You’re going to piss Moses right off, you know. Leaving him without a navigator.”
“Pshaw.” Sandar shook her head, then buried it in Cath’s chest. Her voice was muffled as she continued. “He’s better than me at it anyway, and he knows it.”
Cath reached down to stroke Sandar’s hair. “Did you just say ‘pshaw’?”
“Yep.”
She smiled. “That’s so cute.”
She pulled back and looked Cath in the face. “And that’s a good thing, right?”
Cath pulled her in and kissed her, gently. “Yes. That’s a very good thing. I didn’t want to ask you to go. No, that’s not right. I wanted to. I just couldn’t.”
Sandar looked up at Cath. “It’s a good thing you didn’t have to, then.”
“I guess so.” She leaned down and gently kissed the top of Sandar’s head. “Thank you.”
Sandar nodded. There was not much else to say. They turned and, side by side, watched the stars go by.
☼
The shuttle port was as crowded as before, but this time the crowd looked distinctly different. For one thing, Moses was fairly certain that there hadn’t been as many tanks last time.
He carefully set the shuttle down beside the last shuttle he’d piloted down to the planet. Gesturing over to it, he said “You know, we’ve got to stop leaving those things laying around.”
S’Nhu-gli leaned forward to look toward the shuttle. “Actually, as I understand it, our engineers have been very busy with that. I’m surprised they managed to get it reassembled in time.”
“Ah.” Moses turned to Ami. “Leo gets to take that one back up to the ship. Remind me.” He looked back through the viewport. “That’s the Emperor’s car again, isn’t it?”
“I believe it is, yes.”
“Huh.” He unfastened his safety belt and stood. “Well, at least if we’re getting hung we’re getting hung with a velvet rope. Let’s go.”
This time, Mattie and No had lost the toss and were back on the ship. Moses entered the passenger area and looked around. “Okay, folk. You’ve all been through this before.” He pointed at Leo. “Except you. Try to avoid setting anything on fire this time.”
Leo shrugged. “Hey, it’s not my fault they didn’t think to make all the royal… doohickies, I guess, flame proof.”
Rafe was giving Leo a strange look. Moses glanced at him. “Don’t ask.”
Rafe shook his head. “Wasn’t planning on it. Shall we?”
“We shall.” Moses turned and cracked the airlock doors, then walked out onto the top of the ramp. He looked around.
“Wow. That’s… that’s a lot of guns.”
Ami stepped up beside him and took in the view. “Yep. I think you can safely say that. Lotta guns.”
Rafe came out, blinking in the sunlight. “Holy crap, Moses, just what did you people do to piss them off?”
“I thought you said you weren’t going to ask.”
“I lied.”
Moses jerked a thumb back over his shoulder. “Leo, there, conducted a little demonstration in small craft maneuvering by landing a shuttle straight from orbit into the Emperor’s throne room.”
“Ah. I see.” Rafe put an arm around Sam, then looked back at Moses. “Well, it’s been a good life, I suppose.”
Moses smiled. “We also saved the Emperor’s life, so I guess it’s a push as far as that goes.”
Rafe glanced over at Leo, then held up a warning finger in Moses’ face. “Don’t ever tell me that story.”
“Fair enough. Our ride’s here, anyway. You’ll like the seating.”
Surprisingly, though, the seats had been modified to accommodate the humans. Moses settled in with a sigh and nodded approvingly. “Looks like someone’s been studying our asses.”
Cath was just sitting, herself. “Actually, it looks like they used the shuttle seats as models.”
Moses looked around at the modified seating. “Huh. I think you’re right. Cool.”
The trip to the palace was uneventful… had to be, since the streets had been cleared for their passage. Fiona was staring out of the window. She looked back. “Is it just me, or is there no one on the street?”
Moses shrugged. “If they planned to kill us, they could have done it a long time ago.” He looked over at Rafe. “Right?”
“Wouldn’t know, Moses. You’re the expert in interspecies relationships.”
Arrival saved Moses from trying to reply. The same majordomo opened the door for them and stepped back hurriedly behind the guards. The humans stepped out gingerly, trying to look as harmless as possible.
The three survivors from the Excelsior goggled. They’d only had a brief chance to talk with S’Nhu-gli on the ship and on the ride down, and here they were dropped headfirst into the heart of his culture.
“Welcome…” Moses said as he gestured them grandly forward. “To Weaseltucky.”
Mad snorted, Sam shook her head and Rafe just reached up to quietly rub the bridge of his nose.
Ami glanced at S’Nhu-gli, who nodded. They came up on both sides of Moses, grabbed his arms and started herding him inside. The others followed. The passageway looked bare and more than a little scorched.
Moses glanced back over his shoulder. “Leo, I can’t believe you got through here without killing us.”
Leo was staring up at a scrape, apparently from the shuttle’s atmospheric dorsal fin, that stretched a hundred meters down the center of the ceiling. “Actually…” He turned to the captain. “Neither can I, Moses. Therefore, we probably didn’t. Ever read any Ambrose Bierce?”
Moses started to laugh, stopped, then glanced back at Leo with a briefly uncertain look on his face as they were led through the second set of great doors. Leo grinned back evilly.
He shook his head and turned his attention back to the matter at hand. The throne room had been cleaned up — that much Moses was thankful for. There was a lot less imperial tchatzhahs around, though, and the replacement throne seemed downright utilitarian. Still, the Emperor was again in his place and gazing gravely out toward the approaching humans.
S’Nhu-gli came before them, then paused. He looked over toward the majordomo, confused. “Where’s the Stand of Inquiry?” He whispered.
The majordomo stared at him levelly for a moment, then reached into a pouch. He pulled out a small piece of burnt wood and solemnly offered it to the priest.
“Ah. I see. Thank you.” S’Nhu-gli took the bit of charcoal, stared at it uncertainly, then placed it reverently on the floor. He hesitated a moment, then very carefully set his hindfeet on it. There was a faint crunching sound.
The majordomo turned to the throne. “His
Eminence, Reverend Father of the Architect’s design, Lord S’Nhu-gli, and…”
“Thank you, I can see them.” The Emperor looked out at the humans, then back at the majordomo. “Thank you.”
“Yes. Yes, of course. Sire.” Replied the majordomo, sounding only the tiniest bit peeved.
The Emperor turned back toward his guests, considering them. Finally, he looked at Moses and spoke. “If I promise not to have you arrested again, will you promise not to try to burn my house down again?”
Moses nodded. “I think we can safely agree to that, Sire.” He looked up at the figure on the throne. “I must say, you’re looking better, Sire. Much better.”
“Indeed. On consideration, I decided that I needed more time to properly study the possibilities of the medical technologies your healer offered.”
He grinned up at the Emperor. “And given your condition, the only way to do that…”
“Was to avail myself of it. Exactly.”
“Very good of you, Sire… you know, to sacrifice yourself for your people like that.”
“Moses!” Ami hissed.
You’re a very perceptive person, M’Hoses D’Hunn. It no doubt gets you in trouble from time to time.”
“You’d be surprised.”
“I doubt that very seriously.” The Emperor stood from his throne and came down the stairs, creating a stir in the onlookers. He walked up to Moses and considered him for a moment, then turned to S’Nhu-gli.
“Lord Priest… oh, Maker’s teeth, will you look up at me? I believe you’ve earned the right.” S’Nhu-gli hesitated, then looked into his ruler’s face as the Emperor continued. “First, I personally would like to thank you for coming down here and supervising the… extraordinary medical procedures which have allowed me to continue being here. Amazing. Wonderful. And exactly as your friend M’Hoses described. Ignoring such a marvel would, indeed, be blasphemy.”
“Sire, I…”
“And second.” The Emperor continued, overriding whatever it was the embarrassed priest was planning to say. “You officially have our gratitude, and our condolences, and that of a grateful Empire. Gratitude for the way in which you and your daughter have upheld the finest honor of our people, and condolences that Engineer T’Han-mri is unable to stand here beside you to receive it. She was a great person, and a good one, and she will be sorely missed.”
Moses, reached out and put a hand on S’Nhu-gli’s back, comforting him. He was not at all surprised to note that S’Nhu-gli’s people cried just as humans do.
After all, people were people.
The Emperor nodded at the priest, then turned to Moses. “What are your plans?”
“Sire…” Moses looked around at the crowd of humans, then back to the Emperor. “Sire, we’re going to go home.”
The Emperor nodded, unsurprised.
“Don’t get me wrong. We’re not going for good. We’ll be back. Or someone like us. We’ve got to be. There’ll be ambassadors, and traders, and reporters, and… hell, you’re probably not going to get a moment’s peace once we show back up, again.” Moses grinned, then shook his head. “But I think we’ve all seen how dangerous it can be out there. While we still have the opportunity, we need to go back to our people and tell them…” He hesitated, looked around the room at the assembled crowd, and continued. “Tell them we’re not alone.”
“’Cept for one small thing. I’m staying. Sorry, we’re staying.”
Moses turned, startled. “Cath? Pardon? What the hell are you talking about?”
Cath pointed at S’Nhu-gli. “Wherever he goes, bubba.” S’Nhu-gli just looked at her for a moment, then nodded.
Moses, frustrated, turned to the priest. “Okay, buddy… what did you do to my engineer?”
S’Nhu-gli ignored him, turning instead to the Emperor as he gestured toward Cath. “Your Highness, this is C’ath-leen S’Phindow-ski. Much as friend M’Hoses she is much older than she looks.”
The Emperor looked over at Cath, then back questioningly at the priest. “And?”
“Sire, she is the individual who designed and launched the Interloper.”
The crowd burst out in angry murmurs. Ignoring it, the Emperor came over to stand in front of Cath, regarding her. Cath, face burning, looked back. “Indeed.” The Emperor finally said, turning back to the priest.
“Indeed, Sire. She has accepted responsibility for the deaths involved. And I have accepted her life in return, in your name and in the names of our people.”
The Emperor looked back sharply at Cath. “You are willing to remain here with Lord S’Nhu-gli, among an alien people? For the remainder of your life, in atonement?”
“Yes.” Cath simply replied.
“I see. Your people understand honor, I believe. I am pleased.” He turned back and walked back over to climb the steps to his throne. He settled back and looked over the group. “But do your people understand…” He used a word that the translation program didn’t understand.
S’Nhu-gli looked over at Moses. “Irony. His Highness would like to know if you comprehend irony.”
“Is this a trick question?”
He ignored Moses’ response and turned back to the throne. “Sire, may I ask?”
“Certainly. Lord S’Nhu-gli, in any first communication between two nations there must be a messenger, an ambassador to act in the name of his people to…” The remainder of the Emperor’s statement was drowned out by Ami’s whoop.
She ran up and hugged the startled priest. “You’re going with us! You’re going to Earth!!”
S’Nhu-gli, slack jawed, pulled back and turned to look up to the Emperor. He simply shrugged and pointed at the excited girl. “What she said.”
“Sire, this is… thank you.”
“I believe that you’ll be less thankful when you’re light-years from home, surrounded by aliens and unable to find a decent bottle of J’hibsum wine.” Behind S’Nhu-gli, Moses shuddered.
“Sire, I believe I am willing to make that sacrifice.” He replied, amused. He sobered, though, and looked up at his ruler. “I will strive to be worthy, Sire.”
“I know you will, Lord S’Nhu-gli. May the Maker travel with you.”
“And with us all, Sire. And with us all.”
☼
“Well, I guess it’s all over but the shouting.” Moses looked around the bridge. Leo had rigged a seat for S’Nhu-gli by the command chair, so that he finally had a place to strap in. Mattie was at the helm, going through the final checklist before departure. Sandar manned the nav station, a deliriously happy look on her face.
“Hey, Sandar!” Moses called over. “You should grin more often. You’re cute that way.” After a beat, he continued. “You’re cute when you blush, too.”
“Moses, you’re incorrigible.” Ami laughed from the life support station.
He looked at her and grinned a little goofily, himself. “Did you say ‘encouragable’?”
“That too.”
“Bridge to galley. Are the passengers secure?”
The response was prompt, though the angry red face that appeared in the vid window wasn’t Doug’s. “Moses, you ass, what the hell are we doing down here?”
Moses smiled a particularly evil smile. “Why, Rafe. You should know I can’t allow someone who’s not qualified on my ship’s systems to just wander around during operations. You might hurt yourself.”
Rafe’s angry reply involved a watermelon, a sledgehammer and a funnel. In the background, Moses could hear Madeline laughing.
Another face appeared in the window. “Mister Dunn?”
“Yes, Ms. Dharm… Dharmak… look, may I just call you Sam?”
Sam smiled in response. “All my friends do, Moses. All my friends do.”
Moses smiled. “Sam, the
n. How may I help you, Sam?”
“Once we’re under way, I really would like to help. And Lord knows you’re shorthanded enough.”
“No problem. Just speak with my executive officer…” He looked over and winked at Mattie. “And she’ll be happy to set you all up with a qualification course. Bridge out. Well, that was unrepentantly fun.” He said to the bridge full of laughing people. “Bridge to maneuvering.” A vid window sprang up, Cath and Leo staring out.
“Ladies and Gentlemen of engineering… are we ready to go?”
Cath nodded. “And then some. Main engines at your command. Let’s make tracks, Moses.”
“I think, Cath, that that’s the finest suggestion I’ve heard all day. Standby. Bridge out.”
He turned then to his friend, the alien. “So… what’s it like, owning another’s life?”
S’Nhu-gli shook his head. “I do not own it. I merely hold it for her until such a time until she is prepared to hold it again for herself. And with time…” He looked over at Sandar, “And with the help of those who love her, she will do so. So!” He clapped his forefeet together briskly and turned back to Moses… his friend, the alien. “I believe we’re wasting sunshine.”
“Daylight. We’re wasting daylight.”
“They are not the same?” He asked, quizzically.
Moses shrugged. “Eh. Yeah, close enough.” He grinned at Ami and then turned to Mattie, twirling his finger in the air then pointing forward theatrically. “You heard the Duke, pilgrim. Wagon’s ho!”
Mattie sketched off a salute and turned back to her helm. “Shipwide. Main engines in ten, people.” She paused, then continued, smiling.
“We’re going home.”
“Aging really is barbaric. It shouldn’t be allowed. I don’t need an ethical argument. I don’t need any argument. It’s visceral. To let people die is bad.”
D. Aubrey de Grey, director of the Methuselah Mouse project, from the New York Times, 11/1/2003
