by Ella Jade
“You can’t marry this one too.” Gavin snickered, trying to lighten the mood. “I think that’s illegal.”
“That’s not funny. I sincerely hoped you learned from the last experience. You can’t just go around getting every girl you meet pregnant and expect someone else to...”
“Relax,” Gavin said. “The baby isn’t mine. She was pregnant when I met her.”
“There’s some irony in there.”
“Tell me about it.”
“The father?”
“Wants nothing to do with either of them. He’s out of the picture but he sounds like a loose cannon.”
“It sounds like she’s been very open with you.”
“Something I can’t give her in return.”
“What do you want?” Brody asked.
“I don’t know.” He leaned back, stretching his legs. “When she told me she was pregnant I felt sorry for her. She has so much going on in her life. I haven’t had a serious relationship since Mona. I’m not sure I want one.”
“Then you should probably leave her alone,” Brody suggested. “It wouldn’t be fair to start a relationship with her and then change your mind.”
“I’m not the right guy for her but that doesn’t stop me.”
“Do you like her?”
“It doesn’t matter that I like her. How can I ever expect her to trust me after what I did to...” Why was he even bringing this up? He was getting way ahead of himself. They’d only known one another for a few weeks. “Forget it.”
“You can’t base your future relationships on what happened with Claudia or Mona.”
“This situation hits too close to home. I can see both sides of the story. Of course, I’m furious her ex would dump her and leave her alone to handle everything, but there’s a part of me that gets what he’s doing. It’s fucked up, but I can relate because I ran from my responsibilities too. Either way I feel like a hypocrite.”
At the time he didn’t think Claudia was really pregnant with his child. He thought she was running a scam. He’d never forgive himself for the things he’d done to her and Brody. “If it weren’t for you what would have happened to Claudia and Jason?”
“What happened with Claudia was almost three years ago. You were younger. You’ve come a long way since then. You ended up doing the right thing. What you did for Jason was selfless.”
“Mona didn’t see it that way.”
“You cheated on Mona with Claudia. You hid the fact that she was pregnant with your child. Mona was betrayed. Totally different circumstances.”
“How do you think Justine would feel if she knew what I did to Claudia? How do you think she’d react if she knew I had a child that I walked away from when she’s dealing with the same thing?”
“I can’t answer that.” He took another sip of his drink. “But I do think it’s time you forgave yourself. Claudia and I have.”
“I’m grateful you stepped in when I was such an ass. I’m glad you and Claudia are together. When I see how happy Jason is, I know I made the right choice.”
“Maybe you need some more time to figure out what you want with Justine. Take things slow and just be there for her. Let her lead.”
“Maybe you’re right.” Gavin had some thinking to do. “Give J a hug for me, okay?”
“Why don’t you stop by this weekend and do it yourself?” Brody signed the bar tab. “He loves his Uncle Gav.”
“I think he’s pretty cool too.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Thanks for checking up on me.”
“Always.” Brody patted his brother’s shoulder. “Everything will work out. You just have to have faith.”
“I hope you’re right.”
Chapter Seven
Gavin found himself sitting by his Christmas tree sipping a brandy as the flames from the gas fireplace warmed the room. It had been almost a week since Justine had been there with him. He hadn’t spoken to her since the night of Jason’s party. What was the point? She had enough to deal with. She didn’t need him complicating her life. If he told himself that enough maybe he would believe it.
A buzz from the intercom in the foyer distracted him. He went to the door and pressed the button on the wall.
“Yes,” he said.
“Mr. Callahan,” the security guard in the lobby addressed him. “Ms. Carlucci is downstairs.”
Really? It was almost nine. Why would she be in the lobby? “You can send her up.”
“Yes, sir.”
After his conversation with Brody, he had decided it was best if he didn’t pursue her. He had planned to tell her in the morning. After his disturbing dream and his awkward conversation with Claudia, he realized he had no business starting a relationship with her. It wouldn’t be right.
The doorbell chimed throughout the foyer. He lost his breath, taking a step back when he answered the door. Justine stood in front of him, looking absolutely delectable. Her baby wasn’t due until the summer, so her slender, sexy figure had been unaffected by the tiny life that formed inside her. She wore a tight red sweater and black leggings. He momentarily lost the ability to speak as he focused on the black, leather boots that stopped just above her knees.
“Hi.” She grinned at him, holding up a holiday themed bag. “I know it’s late but I brought you something.”
“Come in.” He widened the door and motioned for her to join him inside. “I would have come to you.”
“I thought it was more spontaneous this way.” She set the bag on the foyer bench. “I hope you don’t mind that I just showed up. We haven’t seen much of one another since Jason’s party.”
“It’s always a pleasure to see you.” He leaned forward and gently kissed her lips before moving away. He realized what a jerk he’d been by inviting her to meet his family and then distancing himself from her.
“That’s all I get?” She glanced down at the floor. “Do you know how hard it is to drive through Manhattan traffic? It took some effort to get here. I don’t even want to talk about the parking.”
“I can get you a spot in the garage.” What am I doing? “Or I could send a car for you next time” There’s no stopping me now.
“I’d rather have a kiss.” She inched toward him, running her hands along his biceps. “Like the one from the other night.” She licked her lips, dropping her gaze to his mouth. “Like this.” She tilted her head and pressed her mouth to his, swirling her tongue around his.
It didn’t take him long to respond. His hands were on her hips within seconds, bringing her close to him. Close enough that there was no space between them. Her face was cold from the night air but the heat of her breath aroused him. He slid his hand up, skimming the side of her breast, working his way to her hair. She’d styled it in long, loose curls, letting them fall wildly down her back. As he tangled his fingers in those soft curls, he turned her head slightly so he could kiss her jaw and neck. She tightened her hold on his arms, but when she grazed his erection he groaned with need. Stop this! You can’t need her.
“Jus...” He kissed her again, trying to convince himself that this had to be the last time. “What’s in the bag?” He needed a distraction or they’d end up in his bed. Judging from the seductive glint in her eyes that was what she had come here for.
“Huh?” She looked into his eyes. “Oh.” She let go of him and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I couldn’t sleep last night to I started my Christmas baking.”
“I couldn’t sleep either.” He hadn’t slept well in days. Every time he rolled over he reached for her.
“You should have called me.” She picked up the bag and opened it so he could look inside. “I brought you cookies.”
“That was very sweet of you.” He glanced inside the bag filled with assorted tins. “That’s a lot of cookies.”
“I bake when I have stuff on my mind.”
“What’s troubling you?”
“Where do I start?” She laughed but she didn’t seem happy. “Nothing new. Just the same stuff I have
to work out, you know?”
“Do you want to talk about it?” This was exactly his point. She had enough to deal with. She didn’t need him complicating matters. He probably shouldn’t be offering advice either.
“To be honest.” She ran her finger over his lips sending a charge straight to the good parts of his anatomy. “I didn’t come here to talk.”
She was enticing. Any other time this would have been as hot as hell. Who was he kidding? This was fucking hot, but because he was a colossal screw up, he was going to have to turn her away.
“I can’t stop thinking about the other night when I was here,” she admitted. “We had chemistry. I’m not the type of person who usually believes in the whole instant attraction thing and all that, but with you I feel a connection.”
“You do?” That was what he had been struggling with for days. He understood what she meant. Like everything with her it just seemed right.
“I know my situation isn’t ideal but you’ve known since the beginning and you still want to be around me. You took me to a family party.”
“Yeah, I...”
“I’m not reading too much into that. I’m Italian. We bring people home all the time.” She giggled. “What I’m trying to say is I like you. I like being around you and I kind of showed up here on impulse. Well, not if you count the time it took me to get ready.”
“You look beautiful.” What is happening? “I should have mentioned that already.”
“Thank you.” She set the cookies down and moved closer to him. “I don’t expect much. I know we’re new to one another but I really want to be with you.”
God! How lucky he should consider himself. After all the women he’d been with. Those he had used when he was younger, those he cheated on, and Claudia. How many things had he done to hurt her? After all of that, how could this stunning woman have been sent to him? It wasn’t fair. He didn’t deserve her but how was he going to tell her that?
She ran her hands through his hair. “You’re so sexy,” she whispered. “I keep asking myself what I did to get Gavin Callahan to notice me.”
“Why?”
“Why am I asking myself that?”
“No, why wouldn’t I notice you?” He tried to will away his erection but how could he be expected to concentrate when she was pressing herself against him and staring at him with the hottest ‘please fuck me eyes’? “How could I not notice you?” He balled his fists by his side, trying desperately not to touch her.
“You can have any woman you want,” she said.
I want you.
“I work in the lobby of the company you own. I’ve searched the internet. I know what kind of life you live and it’s not like the one I live in Brooklyn.” She skimmed her lips along his. “I’m babbling because I’m nervous. My point is getting lost.”
“Why are you nervous?” He still wouldn’t touch her because once he did there would be no stopping him. “I don’t want to make you nervous.”
“You know why I’m here.”
“I have an idea.” If she were any other woman they’d already be in his bed. Not her. It wouldn’t be fair. Hell, there was that word again. What constituted what was right or fair?
“So can we cut to the chase and maybe pick up where we left off the other night?”
“No.” Even he couldn’t believe he said it.
“Why not?”
“It’s difficult to explain.” He wasn’t ready to discuss his past with her. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready to share that story with anyone again. Look how Mona reacted. “You’re gorgeous and really special, but I don’t think I’m who you’re searching for.” Please stop sounding like an asshole. “I like you but we’re not going to work out.”
She let go of him and stepped away, the sting of his words evident in her expression. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. He liked spending time with her. He wanted to be friends with her and help her with whatever she needed, but a romantic relationship wasn’t in the cards for them.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have pursued you when you told me about your circumstances but it’s not for the reasons you think. I know none of my explanation sounds right but–”
“What changed?”
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve been spending time together. I thought when I met your family... I didn’t want to put too much into that but we had such a good day. When we talked that night I got the impression that maybe my circumstances weren’t such a big deal to you.”
“We had the best day and your situation doesn’t bother me.” Being with her was the start of a solid relationship, but given his past how could she ever trust him? “I just don’t see how we’re going to work.”
“I get it.” Justine met his stare, defying him with her hard expression. In just a few minutes time she’d gone from a seductress to one pissed off woman. He didn’t blame her. He had sent mixed signals. This one, as usual, was his fault.
“You get what?” She couldn’t possibly understand the battle he fought each time he was close to her. How much he admired and respected her. He was trying to do the right things. For once in his life, be the better man.
“You don’t want to be with me because I’m having another guy’s baby. I get it. It’s totally understandable and I shouldn’t have come here but I wanted to take a chance.”
“No, you don’t get it.” Fuck! “It’s not you.” It’s not you at all.
“Seriously?” When she put her hand on her hip she looked so freakin’ adorable. How could he be expected to tell her what he promised himself he would? “That’s what you’re going to go with?”
“No.” He made his way toward her because he couldn’t allow her to think any of this was because she wasn’t exactly who he wanted. Baby and all. None of that mattered. “I’m not the man for you.” Taking her hand, he drew her to him, wrapping his arm around her waist. “The fact that I can’t stay away from you proves it all. I shouldn’t be anywhere near you. Hell, you shouldn’t want me near you.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve done things that...” When he dropped his gaze to her mouth, something inside him broke free. Why was he fighting this? He’d made a horrible mistake when it came to his past but he’d fixed that. Hadn’t he? Don’t I deserve a second chance? “But it doesn’t stop me.”
“I don’t want you to stop,” she whispered as she rested her head on his shoulder. “I need you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I don’t know what you want from me.”
He tilted her chin, his stare burning into her trusting eyes. God help her for what he was about to ask next.
“Gavin, please...”
“Redeem me.”
He crushed his lips to hers before she had the opportunity to question him. Before he had the chance to walk away and make an even bigger mess of his life.
***
Justine sat on the edge of Gavin’s bed as he dropped to his knees. He gazed up at her as he unzipped her boot and slid it off her foot. He’d removed his shirt when they entered the bedroom, leaving him in nothing but his jeans. Trailing his hands up her thighs he reached under her sweater and gripped the top of her leggings.
“You’re sure this is what you want?” he asked.
“I want to be with you.” She lifted her hips so he could remove her leggings. “I don’t want to think about tomorrow. I just want to have tonight.” She wouldn’t ask for anything more.
He joined her on the bed, sitting close, he kissed her. “It won’t be just tonight. I can give you a thousand tomorrows. I can give you anything you want.”
“I want you.” She lifted her sweater over her head. “All of you.”
“You already have that.” He laid her back on the bed, outlining a slow, deliberate path with his fingertips. Starting at the base of her throat, he drew a line to her breasts as he kissed her neck. Her nipples peaked in response to his tender touch. Slipping the straps from her shoulders, he brought his hand u
nder her and unclasped the hook of her bra. Propping himself up on his elbow, he took in her naked flesh.
Her breathing became more rapid as she waited for him to take her. She ran her fingers down his hard chest, tracing his defined abs, following the light trail of hair that disappeared into his pants. She undid his button and lowered his zipper. He sucked in a breath when she skimmed her hand over his stiff length. The intensity of his kiss encouraged her to push her hand inside his boxers and grasp his erection.
“Jus...” He closed his eyes when she pumped him in her hand. Rolling onto her side, she guided him onto his back so she could have more leverage. He let her take the lead.
His long, thick shaft got harder with each pass of her palm. She threw her leg over his as she rocked into his hip, trying to create some friction inside her damp panties. Her nipples ached with desire and her core pulsated with a pleasure only he could fulfill.
He covered her hand, halting her actions. “You have to stop that if you really do want all of me.”
“We have all night.”
“Sexy girl.” He positioned her on her back, spreading her legs with his knee as he licked his way down her stomach and to her...
“Gavin.” She lifted onto her elbows so she could take in the sight of him removing her panties. Once he had them off, he kissed her leg, taking his time caressing his lips over her calf. She quietly giggled when he swirled his tongue along the back of her knee.
“Ticklish?”
“Maybe.”
“Your skin is so soft.” He brushed his hand along her inner thigh as he lowered his head to her sex. “I’ve imagined what it would be like to...” As he drew his tongue along her entrance, he pushed his fingers inside her. With his other hand, he gripped her hip, increasing his tempo, adding his thumb to please her even further.
She dropped onto the bed, tugging at the comforter beneath her. A thin sheen of sweat covered her flesh as her toes curled and her heart rate increased. An odd, delicious sensation came over her as Gavin continued to work her from the inside. His movements were tender as he took his time with his fingers but there was a determination in his breathing. The awareness inside her didn’t dull, it kept building until she could take no more. What was he doing to her? His fingers worked in tandem with his tongue. His hand never stopped the slow, satisfying strum while he kissed, licked, and sucked her lower stomach, mound, and inner thighs.
