Damn the hay.
If Lily didn’t choose him, then what? Charge through the castle? Kidnap her? He rolled his eyes. Did he need to get a sword and armor of old as well? He didn’t want it to come to that, but if he needed to…
Garek stared at the black iron lantern hanging by the stall door, watching the flame flicker. This was all he had been dreaming about, planning for months. Ever since that late spring day on the London street when Lily’s carriage had passed him by.
Ever since he had discovered what losing everything truly felt like.
He heard the sudden crunch of boots coming down the main walkway of the stable. Light, even steps. Garek braced himself. It could be Lily—or it could very well be Brianna, or some other random wedding guest.
The steps slowed as they drew closer.
A figure turned the corner, and Garek exhaled.
Lily.
Lily looking at him, eyes wide, her face ashen.
She swayed slightly and then grabbed the waist-high top of the stall door. Her fingertips wrapped around the rough wood, shaking as she tried to steady herself. Her other hand, clutching leather gloves, came to her belly, pressing onto her plum-colored riding habit.
Garek fought the instant urge to go to her, wrap her in his arms. Take away all the unsteadiness. That urge was not why he was here.
Far from it.
“It is you. Bree told me, she said…but I did not believe it…not truly…”
“Yes, Lily, it is me.” Garek took one step toward her. “Brianna told you about your fiancé?”
She nodded, disbelief still ravaging her features. “I still cannot believe…believe that he would…”
“He did, Lily. Does. I verified it.” He watched the reflection of the flame from the lamp flicker in her clear blue eyes. Eyes that had haunted him every single night since he had left her. “Which leaves you with a choice. Have you made it?”
Her hand still shaking, she lifted it from the stall door and managed to take one step forward, closing the distance between them. “I choose you, Garek.”
His eyes fell closed, the few words reeling through his body. Her voice, even sweeter than he remembered it, seeped into his head, consuming him.
Damn.
He had no idea she would be able to do this to him. Make his body react like this.
Four small words from her, her eyes on him, and he felt himself growing hard. Felt the burning need for her explode in his belly. His hands itched they wanted so badly to touch her skin. Rip off her dress. He swallowed, his mouth salivating at the thought of her nipple full, plump between his teeth.
Exhaling, he opened his eyes to her. Grimacing against his body revolting against his brain, he offered one nod in response to her words.
“I have thought about it a thousand times, Garek—what if you appeared before me, returned to my life.” Her words rambled. “What would I say? What could I say? What would you…but this…to be inside the castle and about to marry another and then he…then this…this I never imagined…”
She watched him, cutting off her own words at his silence, his lack of response.
She dragged a deep inhale after a moment, both of her hands gripping the gloves she held, wringing them. Her eyes possessed far more raw astuteness than he remembered.
“Garek, Brianna said that what she took from me, she wanted to give back.”
His eyebrows arched in question.
“But it will not be that easy, will it?”
“No. No, Lily, it will not.” He pointed to the horse in the next stall, sidesaddle already in place. “Are you ready to ride?”
Her head bobbed numbly, and she turned from him silently, going to the adjoining stall.
Garek followed, grabbing the reins of his own horse and leading it from the stable.
They needed to ride.
~~~
The hooves of Lily’s horse clomped over the wooden bridge, snapping her from the stupor she had sunk into.
For three hours she had silently followed Garek in the moonlight. He had said very little—nothing except to tell her they were on their way to a coaching inn along the route to the Scottish border town, Coldstream, where they could marry.
“The inn is just up from this river. We can sleep here for a few hours, then move onward,” Garek said, his voice low in the still of the night. He didn’t turn back to her.
They were still half a night away from daylight, but Lily doubted she could sleep. Her mind was creeping out of the overwhelming numbness that had consumed her since talking with Brianna.
One minute she was laughing, reveling in the party on the eve before she was to marry, and in the next, she found out her soon-to-be husband was a virgin-buying lecher.
A cringing shiver shot through her body. She could not even think on that fact yet—that she had almost married a man with such perversions.
And then Garek had appeared—manifested out of the abyss of the past. Out of long past memories she had been determined to forget.
Lily stared at Garek’s back, the dark jacket lining his shoulders, his mass shifting smoothly back and forth with the gait of the horse. The moonlight dappled by the trees danced across his dark hair.
She swallowed hard.
Hell. Garek had appeared, and it was instant. The very second she stepped into the stall and saw him. Even after all this time. Even after he had crushed her soul.
She wanted him.
Damn her body.
She wanted him. Her body had flushed hot and had not stopped pulsating since she saw him in the stall. She wanted him in her gut, in her core. She wanted his hands on her. Wanted him deep within her. Controlling her body. Wanted him in the quiet. Wanted his eyes on her, his comfort.
Wanted him.
Everything she had thought was gone far into the past.
Lily tore her eyes from his back, staring at the passing trees. She hated herself for wanting this man. This man that had abandoned her.
But there it was, undeniable. Her body still craved him.
The road turned and the coaching inn, lit brightly from within, came into view. Lily’s hands tightened on the reins, the sight of the building removing any remnants of weariness from her shoulders.
Garek led them to the stable behind the inn, stopping and dismounting outside the wide entrance. He silently came back to Lily, holding his hand up to her. Taking it, she moved down from the horse, noting Garek’s stiff arm kept a noticeable distance between them.
Without a word, he collected the reins of both horses, tugging them into the stable. He led his horse to one empty stall, then deposited her horse in an opposite stall.
Lily stood just inside the entry to the stable, peeling off her leather gloves as she waited for him under the glow of the lantern by the main opening. Garek stepped out of the stall, moving toward her until he stopped, his toes almost touching her boots.
Lily inhaled to steady herself, but his scent filled her head, doing more harm than good. This was the closest he had come to her, and she was woefully unprepared for it. For the heat of him. For his scent. For his breath tickling her forehead.
Garek looked down at her. Even in the dim light, she could see his eyes were hooded, letting no emotion break forth.
“I have only one question for you, Lily.”
“Yes?” The word was meek, barely making sound.
“Do you still want me?”
Her eyes did not leave his. “Heaven help me, I do. I chose you, Garek. I would not be here were that not true.”
His hand clamped around her neck, yanking her up to him, his lips meeting hers hard, angry.
Anger she had no trouble reciprocating.
No hesitation, she met him with her own fury unleashed, pouring into him as she grabbed him, her fingers deep into his hair, scraping his scalp. His mouth opened, his tongue invading, and Lily took it, nipping, her tongue attacking, fighting for control.
Not breaking the kiss, he lifted her, his movements rough, jar
ring. He grabbed her thigh and wrapped her leg around him, and then repeated with the other.
Striding into the closest empty stall, he pushed her onto the outside wall. Her back hard against the wooden slats, Garek lifted her higher, his hands sliding, pushing up her skirts, going under the back of her bare thighs, supporting her.
He pulled his face away from her mouth, his breath heavy, to look at her, but Lily would have none of it. She clasped her hands onto his head, his neck, forcing him close, forcing his lips to meet hers.
She opened her mouth, her teeth grabbing his tongue, pulling him inward, pulling him closer.
His hand dropped between their bodies, opening the front flap of his leather breeches. The instant she felt him stretch free from the cloth, she yanked her legs around his waist, forcing his hardness onto her body, forcing his chest to meet her breasts.
A grunt. A mess of hands, clawing. Another grunt. And then Garek was huge, the tip of him at her entrance. She bit his bottom lip.
A brutal thrust, and he was deep into her. Fast. Forceful. Leaving no quarter for her body to adjust to him. Just demanding. Demanding, thrust after thrust, that she come for him, unleashing every bit of his massive power into her.
She ripped her mouth from his, straining over his shoulder, gasping for breath on the edge. Losing all control. “I hate you. I hate you for leaving me, Garek.”
Her words turned into a scream, and she came, fingers tearing at his back.
He slid up, pummeling into her hard, and her back slammed into the wall. A grunt, hot breath invading her ear. “And I hate you for forgetting me, Lily.”
His body shuddered, filling her. Warmth flooding her deep within.
Their chests warred with each other, both panting for breath, for control.
Garek slid out of her, removing her legs from his waist and letting her slip down the wall to the floor.
Shock brewed with throbbing aftershocks. Her breath not returning, all Lily could do was duck her head and yank down her skirts.
Without a word, she stepped around Garek, rubbing him from her lips. The only hiccup in her steps came when she bent to pick up her gloves on the way out of the stable.
She walked, her vision blurry, toward the light of the tavern. Opening the front door under the Golden Pheasant Inn sign, she stepped into the warm glow of the common area to find a smattering of people dotting the room. Heads turned to her, but she ignored the stares, moving to the closest circular table and sinking into a rounded-back wooden seat.
The barmaid was quick from behind the counter of the bar to Lily, but before the woman could say a word, Lily cut her off.
“Sherry. Or Madeira. Or brandy. Whatever is closest.”
Her hands wiping the front of her white apron, the barmaid nodded, backing away.
Lily watched the barmaid as she clenched her hands against the shake taking over them. She slid them onto her lap, hiding them under the table.
The barmaid had better be quick.
~~~
As hard as she fought against it, Lily’s eyelids drooped. Maybe she shouldn’t have had that last drink. Had that been her third or fourth? Either way, her empty belly had not been an asset to the alcohol in her stomach.
She focused in on the bearded man sitting in a tall booth across from her—on his long, scraggly grey beard that went down past his chest. The man took a drink from his mug, the liquid trickling down the wiry hairs off his chin. Drip. Drip. Drip. Was he watching her? Her look drifted upward, meeting his eyes. Yes. Watching her.
How long did it take to settle two horses? Garek should have made his way into the inn long ago.
The sudden thought that he had deserted her popped into her brain.
No. Garek could not have left her again. Not have come for her only to desert her once more.
She popped upright, turning to the front entrance. She had no coin on her person. Nothing except for that horse she had ridden here. A horse that could very well be gone—gone with Garek.
He did hate her. He said so.
She gave herself a shake. No. He wouldn’t just leave her here. He couldn’t be that cruel.
But then again, where in the hell was he?
“Bar lady. Bar lady.” She spun slowly in her seat, watching as all eyes in the place swiveled to her. She had thought they were done looking at her an hour ago, so what now? “Bar lady. More. I need more. Another drink, please.”
“Shut your mouth, Lily.”
The hiss in her ear came with a clamp on her upper arm, and she was jerked up, chair falling as she stumbled to her feet.
Garek.
She tried to yank her arm away, but the clamp went tighter, pinching her skin. He dragged her, manhandling her through the tables to the rear of the large room. Before she even had a chance to get her feet about her, Garek flung her onto the bench of a booth with high wooden backs.
“You are embarrassing yourself,” he said, his voice a low growl.
Hands flat on the bench, Lily shoved herself upright. She grabbed the table, trying to still her spinning head.
Garek stood at the end of the table, looking down at her and blocking her path from escaping. “Are you going to heave?”
She shook her head, not able to lift her face to him. “No. Maybe.”
A heavy sigh fell from Garek. He moved a few steps from her. His voice seemed small, far, far away. “Bread. Meat. Anything you have. Tea. Only tea.”
His thighs, clad in dark buckskin breeches, appeared next to the table again. He paused for a moment, his fingers tapping the table, then he moved, sitting across from her.
Good. She could look at him without having to tilt her head back and sending the spinning out of control.
Garek took a sip of something amber from the thick glass he held. Setting it on a wide plank of the wooden table, he ran his fingers through his dark hair. She could see his hazel eyes clearly with the light of the nearby fire. The green flecks shining, just as they always had indoors.
Except his eyes had gone hooded again. Hiding everything from her.
She had only been given that one moment in the barn. That one moment when she was against the wall and he was deep inside her. In that moment, the hood had been lifted. Anger. Lust. Hatred. Love. It had swirled in his eyes. Swirled into blackness, the whole of it directed at her. A darkness she never could have imagined coming from Garek.
What had she truly chosen back at Notlund—the man she had once loved, or someone she no longer recognized?
She was suddenly thankful for the hood on his eyes. She wasn’t ready to face what she had seen in him—not yet. Not when she was only hours removed from abandoning her fiancé and hundreds of guests at Notlund to elope. But elope with what?
Her fingers edged toward the glass he had set onto the table.
Garek snatched the glass, setting it far away from her on the back edge of the table. “Embarrassing, Lily. Utterly embarrassing.” His voice was low, oddly calm. “You are not the sane person I once knew—not the woman I would have moved heaven and earth for.”
That was what he had to say? A year and a half, and that was it? He hated her. Was embarrassed by her. Thought she was crazy.
She scoffed loudly, leaning against the table toward him, her voice hissing. “Heaven and earth? When did you ever try to move those for me, Garek? And sanity? You took my sanity, Garek. You.”
She pushed herself away from the table, the back of her head banging into the wooden back of the tall booth. “Do you know what I did for months after you left me, Garek? I tried to forget—I questioned every single second of the time we spent together. Over and over and over.” Her head banged against the wood with every word.
“It would drive anyone insane—going over those moments again and again with no end. Tearing them apart, looking for anything—the slightest clue as to why you would leave me—how I could not have seen what was coming.”
Her head shook slowly, bitterness easing from her words. “All of those seconds�
�those moments. I could not convince myself I was so very wrong about you—about you wanting me—wanting to marry me. But I was wrong.”
He didn’t answer her, offered no words of comfort, of explanation. He only stared at her with his hooded eyes, picking up the glass and taking another sip.
She watched, silently, as he set the glass carefully down. Specific in his movements, his eyes stayed on the glass.
“When you held me, Garek, I could lose myself in you.” Her voice faltered. “And it was never your size. It was that my mind could curl up into you. Safe, protected. You made the world right for me.”
Lily bowed her head, tears threatening. “But then you left me alone, Garek, alone. And I have not been able to find sanity since that day.”
A metal plate of bread and meat clanked onto the table, making Lily jump. The barmaid set a steaming mug of tea directly in front of Lily, giving her something other than the pockmarked wood of the table to stare at. The barmaid’s footsteps were long gone when Garek finally spoke.
“You want to talk about alone, Lily? Then let us talk about prison.”
Her face whipped up to him, only to find his eyes, cold and harsh, burrowing into her.
“You were in prison? Garek—”
“Yes, for robbing graves. For falsehoods. So let us talk about the filth I sat in for more than a year—cold and starving—for something I did not do. That—where I was in a barren cell—that was alone, Lily. More alone than you will ever know in your life.” He leaned forward, his chest hitting the table and sending the mug in front of her wobbling. She caught it before it tipped over.
“If you were alone, Lily, you chose it. You.” Spite bled from his voice. “Look at all you had. You had your sister. Your season. Everyone in society at your feet.”
She slapped him. Hard. Without warning.
“What do you know of it? I did not have you, Garek. So, yes—yes, I was alone. All that time. Do you not think that was where my soul was? In the filth? Cold? Starving? Dead?”
He offered no reaction from the slap. No reaction from her words. He merely sat back, leaning against the back of the booth, his words soft. “I saw you in London, Lily.”
Marquess of Fortune: A Lords of Fate Novel Page 16
