I sit and wonder if it’s really possible that Cas and I had the same father? The thought makes me shudder. Having been an only child, it’s hard for me to even imagine I had a sister, let alone two. I can feel Cas’s energy all around me. I lie in bed, holding the photo, and use my fingertip to trace the outline of their faces. I study every last detail of the photo. I’m guessing it was an exceptionally hot day because I see droplets of sweat on my father’s forehead, both girls look flushed and the sky appears hazy. They are standing on a boardwalk. I guess it’s the Jersey Shore because it looks somewhat familiar. My dad took me there, too, when I was around six years old. He is smiling widely and is wearing his proud Dad face, the face I thought he reserved only for me. He is squatted between the two girls who are wearing matching sundresses. Cas appears tall and thin. Her long, dark hair covers the sides of her face, camouflaging her delicate features. Her lips are pressed together and she’s smiling. Her thin, almost frail arm hangs around my father’s neck. Lily looks to be about three years old. Her brown ringlets cascade around her chubby face. My stomach suddenly sinks when I realize she reminds me of myself when I was a child.
I get up from bed and walk over to my dresser, where there’s a photo of me from my fifth birthday party. We had it at one of those bouncy places, where kids are allowed to throw their bodies around and don’t have to worry about getting hurt. I’m seated between my mom and dad, wearing a silver tiara and a pink shirt with gold writing that reads, ‘Birthday Girl.’ I take the photo and walk back to bed, and I hold it next to the photo of Cas and Lily. I’m amazed how much we look alike. If we were closer in age, we could pass for twins.
Sisters? Is it possible?
A sinking feeling fills my heart, and I touch my hand to my scar. “Please, Cas, tell me what I should do.” I place the photo on my chest and my eyes become heavy. Suddenly cold – I pull the blanket higher and bunch it around my shoulders as I drift off to sleep.
I’m outside. The temperature has plummeted. I pull a sweater from my bag and drape it around my shoulders. I look down to see that I’m wearing boots, riding boots. “Walk toward the barn.” It’s Cas. And it’s Scott’s barn I see. The sky is purple, the sun is setting, and the wind is blowing leaves all around my feet. I’m so cold, but I follow her voice and walk toward the barn. It’s painted fire engine red and there’s a crow perched on top, in a place that I’m sure should be reserved for a rooster, but I continue on. When the barn door has slid open a few inches, Isqueeze inside. I step onto the hay-covered, concrete floor. For some reason, the barn is much longer than I remember. The stalls all seem to be empty, too.
I look for Elita as I pass rows of empty stalls, but there is no sign of her or any other horse. I’m about to turn back and go outside when I see the door labeled “Tack Room.” I head straight toward it, but then I remember Scott’s warning. I’m about to turn and walk away when I feel someone tugging my arm. I turn and see a girl, the same girl from the photo only her features have matured. “Elle, it’s okay. Go inside.” I swallow hard and turn the brass-colored knob. The door groans and I push harder. I peek inside the open crack, but all I see is black. I look back and see Cas is still standing behind me. She points to a light switch on the side of the door. I flip the switch, and the room takes a second to illuminate. There’s a loud hum from the metal fixture mounted to the ceiling. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the bright light but, when they do, I let out a gasp. I turn to find Cas, but she is gone. Still, I can feel her energy pressing me on.
The room looks like the laboratory from a sci-fi movie. There are tables with test tubes, gurneys, and medical equipment. I step inside and see a notebook placed on one of the tables. It has Scott’s handwriting inside it. His chicken scratch is all too familiar and, through the years, I’ve learned how to decipher it. I skim the pages and see words like DNA, genetics, transgenics. There are pages of documents on an Iceland experiment. I’m not sure what it all means.
I continue to walk until I see another door. I’m afraid to open it, afraid to see what’s on the other side. Still, I turn the knob. Inside, my legs buckle. There’s someone lying on a table. I take a deep breath and move closer.
It’s Cas. Her eyes are closed and there are machines breathing for her. “Cas!” I hear myself cry. I reach out to touch her, but my hand slips through hers, hitting the hard table. Something suddenly nudges my body forward, toward the table next to her bed. There are letters and cards reading, ‘Get Well Soon’ and ‘I Love You.’ I pick up one of the cards and open it. It’s from Lily.
“It says she loves you and wants you to get better soon,” I say through tears. I place the letter back on the table and notice an envelope lying beside it. The return address on the envelope is 246 Vincent Court. “Is this where Lily is?” I shout.
I know this is all a dream, but I need to wake up and find Lily. I run toward the door leading to the barn, and let out a scream when I see it’s blocked by the body of a horse, lying on the floor. “Elita!” Blood is sprayed on the walls and stall doors. I try to touch her, but my hand slips through. When I get a good look at her, I recoil in terror, throwing my hand over my mouth. Someone has cut open her chest. Her heart lies on the floor, still beating against the cement. I cover my eyes with my arm and lunge over her body, bursting through the barn doors, and run into the cold night air. I keep running until I trip over a branch and fall into a hole. I fall deeper and deeper, and hear myself yell before I hit bottom.
I awake, my heart pounding and my body freezing. I sit up in bed and blow into my hands. Traces of breath are visible in front of my mouth. When my fingers are warm, I open my nightstand drawer, take out paper and a pen, and write down “246 Vincent Court.”
That’s where Lily is living. That’s where I have to go.
Chapter Eighteen
Sorry to wake u but I need 2 talk 2 u.
Thirty seconds later, my phone vibrates.
R U OK?
Yes. Need 2 talk. Can u meet me @ stairwell in 5?
B rt there
The main stairwell for my floor is just a few feet from our front door. It won’t be a problem for me, so long as I can manage to escape my apartment without Kate noticing. I grab my pink bathrobe from behind my bedroom door. I got it last year for Christmas from one of the agents at my mom’s agency. It has my initials, EC, embroidered on the front. I tie the robe tightly around my waist and step into my slippers. I stop into the bathroom before leaving – despite everything, I don’t want to see Rob without taking a second to freshen up. I slowly tiptoe down the hall and peek inside my mom’s bedroom. She’s sound asleep and I hear the crashing of ocean waves from her sound machine. I tiptoe past her door, stepping around the creaky parts of the floor. I slowly unlock the front door and pull it closed behind me, and then briskly make my way down the hallway toward the stairwell. The whole time, I have the strange feeling that my neighbors are watching me through their peepholes. When I pull open the stairwell door, Rob is standing there. I let out a yell.
“Shh! Why are you yelling?” Rob presses his index finger to his lips. “You told me to meet you here, remember?”
“I know,” I whisper. “I just didn’t think you’d get here this fast.”
“You said you needed me, so I got here as fast as I could.” A warm feeling fills the pit of my stomach. I wonder if this is what love feels like.
I smile warmly, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. It takes a moment for me to find my words. I look at him in his River Side t-shirt, flannel bottoms and his untied sneakers. He must have flown out the door after reading my text.
“You didn’t even tie your shoe laces,” I say through tears.
“Hey, what’s wrong? I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“It’s not you, really. I’m just kind of all over the place.” I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes with a tissue I had balled up in the pocket of my robe. “I had another dream,” I say. “Cas… she showed me things.” I walk to the edge of the sta
irs and have a seat on the top step. Rob sits down next to me.
“Look at this.” I take out the crumpled photo of my father with Lily and Cas from my pocket. “That’s my father.” I point to him. “He’s there with Cas and Lily.”
“That’s her?” he asks, pointing to Cas. It’s weird knowing Rob can see her.
“Yes, it’s the same girl from my visions and dreams, only she’s a little younger here.” I inhale deeply and exhale with a loud sigh. “I don’t know how I’m going to tell my mother that my father had another family.”
“Elle, it happens a lot.” Rob puts his hand on my knee “I’ve seen things like that on TV. You know those lame talk shows – they are full of this kind of stuff.” I nod my head in disbelief. Is this what my life has become?
“Elle, tell me what happened in your dream.”
I take a moment to collect my thoughts “I woke up at the Carmichael place. Then Cas urged me to go into the barn.” I sniff and look at Rob through weepy eyes.
“He has a barn?” Rob asks. Apparently, he didn’t picture Scott as the farm type either.
I nod my head. “He showed me his horse the first time I was there.” I look down at my hands and fumble with my fingers. “Her name is Elita.”
“He named his horse after you?” Rob looks at me, a little tilt to his head. “Is that a compliment?”
“I think he meant for it to be. My name, it means ‘chosen one.’ I think he thought it suited his horse.” Rob shrugs his shoulders, unimpressed. “I know what your name means. I just don’t know why he named his horse that. Go on. What happened in your dream?”
“Cas led me to the tack room. When I got inside, I saw that it wasn’t just a room but an entire extension off the barn, I never realized how large it was from the outside.”
Rob’s eyes narrow. “What was in there?” he whispers.
“It was some kind of laboratory. There were all kinds of test tubes and machines.”
“That’s really freaky.” Rob bites down on his thumb.
“I followed that room straight into another larger room, where I saw Cas lying on a gurney.” I close my eyes and try to remember the details. “Her head was bandaged and she was connected to a machine. I think it was breathing for her.”
“Didn’t you say that Cas died in an accident?”
“Yes, but I just assumed the accident happened the same night I was brought into the hospital. I never imagined that she had been in a coma and died. Or that Scott had been the one caring for her, at his home!” I take a deep breath. “Rob, it was so sad. There were get well cards beside her bed and one of the cards was from Lily.”
“Lily? What did it say?”
“It just said that she hopes she gets better soon.” I swallow hard and turn to look at Rob.“It also said that she loved her.” Rob puts his head in his hands.
“There was a return address on the envelope: 246 Vincent Court. Rob, Cas brought me there to see that address. She wants me to find her.”
Chapter Nineteen
After my late night meeting with Rob, I sneak back into my apartment undetected and manage to go back to sleep for a couple of hours. At 8 a.m. I wake to the annoying blare of my alarm clock. After breakfast, and my usual dose of morning meds, I shower and dress. I sit by the front door and wait. At 9:30 a.m. on the dot, my doorbell rings.
“Are you ready for this?” Rob stands in the doorframe, sunglasses perched on the end of his nose.
I furrow my brow and smile. “You look incognito,” I say. I secretly love the way Rob is also able to use levity to make any situation better.
“You have the address?”
“Right here.” I place my index finger to my forehead.
***
When we get inside Rob’s car, he punches the address into his navigation.
“It says we’ll be there in twenty minutes.” He turns to look at me. My hands are pressed between my thighs and I can see my chest rise with each breath I take.
“Are you okay?” Rob asks.
“I’m a nervous wreck,” I admit.
“It’s going to be okay.” Rob reaches over and takes my hand. My stomach lurches. We look at one another and although we don’t say a word, I think we can both tell what the other is thinking. Rob pulls his hand away and puts the gear shift in drive. After a few minutes, Rob breaks the silence.
“So, do you know that a part of me really enjoys all this detective stuff? Maybe I’ll look into taking a criminal justice course when I go to college.”
“College?” I say, genuinely surprised. “I thought you didn’t want to go to college?”
“Do you really think my aunt was going to let that happen? Besides, I have to start thinking about my future.” He turns to look at me.
A future. That’s something I’ve never really thought about. My whole life, I’ve perfected the art of living in the moment. For the first time, I can think of the future and not be consumed with fear.
“I think you’d make an awesome detective,” I say with a playful lilt.
“How about you? You could put some of those new talents of yours to work. We’d make a great team.”
“I don’t know about that.” I laugh. “I think this is all Cas.”
“Who knows? Maybe you’re capable of more than you know.”
I turn my head and look out the window. For a moment, I think of Jocelyn and the story she told me about when she was a child, about the very first time she knew she had extrasensory ability. The last time I saw my father, a strange feeling came over me. I thought I might never see him again. It was a feeling I just ignored – I guessed that all kids have those kinds of fears from time to time. When my mother told me he had died, however, I wasn’t nearly as surprised as she was.
As we approach the house, my insides churn. I turn to Rob.
“I don’t think I’m ready for this.” I grab his hand. My palms are soaked.
“Yes, you are. Elle, you have to do this. It’s what Cas wants.” I turn to look out the window. The house is a large, white colonial with blue shutters and a bright red door.
“It looks like the perfect house,” I say. We sit for a couple of minutes so I can collect my thoughts. After a few minutes, our breath fogs the glass.
“Do you think you’re ready to go inside?” Rob asks.
“I just need a few more minutes,” I say. “I hope I’m doing the right thing.” I look at Rob, who turns a few shades lighter. “Are you okay?” I ask.
“Behind you,” he mumbles. I turn and see the letters G O written in the condensation. I look at Rob, his jaw nearly in his lap.
“You think I’d be used to these weird things by now,” I say with a loud gulp.
“Elle, if you ever had any doubts, I think this is your sign that you’re doing the right thing,” Rob says, never taking his eyes off the window.
“You’re right.” I push open the car door.“Are you coming?” I bend down and look at Rob who looks to be in shock.
“Yeah. I just need a second.”
As I walk to the front door, I say my usual prayer asking for strength and guidance during this journey – at least that’s how I like to think of it. I take a long, deep breath before knocking. After a few seconds, a middle-aged woman with short dark hair and trendy black glasses answers the door.
“Hi. Can I help you?” she asks softly.
“Hi, my name is Elle Collins.” I swallow hard and try to read the woman’s face. Her eyes look kind and I decide to continue. “Is there a little girl named Lily, who lives here?” I finally blurt.
“Yes, she’s staying with us. Who are you?”
My dream had been right. A sudden burst of emotion crashes down on me like a wave. Knowing she’s so close makes everything feel all the more real. I attempt to hold back my tears, but it’s no use; they fall from my eyes like rain.
“Are you okay, honey?”the woman asks, taking a step closer to me. I can tell she’s the maternal type and I take comfort, knowing Lily is staying w
ith someone like that.
“Yes, I’ll be fine.” I shuffle around on the doorstep and dry my eyes with the back of my hands. I try to think of what to say next. When I played the conversation out in my mind, the person who answered the door would apologize and tell me there was no Lily living there.
“I just got some information that she,” I swallow hard and feel Rob nudge my arm, “she might be my sister.”
“I see. Why don’t you two come inside and we can talk?” She holds out her arm and escorts Rob and me into the house. When we step inside, I am hit with the scent of something cooking. I’m not sure what it is, probably some kind of roast, but the aroma is pleasing.
“This is my friend, Rob,” I say, having a look around the house.
“Nice to meet you both. I’m Tina King.” She holds out her hand. Rob and I give it a quick shake. “We’re fostering Lily at the moment. She’s been with us for about six months.”
Tina walks over to the dining room and pulls out a chair from the large wooden table.“Please have a seat.” She points to one of the chairs.
“Thank you.” I have a seat next to Rob, who has already made himself comfortable on the chair next to me. “I know this might seem odd, me just popping up on your doorstep like this.”
“I have to admit, I am surprised you said you might be Lily’s sister. I thought her only sister died shortly before she was sent to stay with us.” Tina sits down in the chair across from us.
I look at Rob and take a deep breath. “She did have another sister who passed, but it turns out I may be her sister, too.”
The Divine Heart Page 15
