by Sophie Stern
“I had no idea.”
She just shrugs.
“I guess it’s what I deserve, right? I ruined your relationship because I was selfish and terrible. Why should I get my own happily-ever-after, right?”
“Is there anything I can do to help you?” I ask, even though I know she’s going to say “no.” Cynthia has always been very self-sufficient. It’s one of the reasons I never knew she was interested in me romantically.
Now that she’s pointed it out, looking back, I can see how she tried to hang out with me and my friends. I can see how we were so absorbed in our own activities and lives that we didn’t really make room for her, and that’s pretty shitty.
“I’ll be fine,” she says, but I shake my head.
“I hurt you,” I tell her. “And I’m sorry. You hurt me, too, but I think you know that. You should have told me. You should have come to me and told me what you did to Dana. You should have apologized. You could have saved me two years of pain and heartache and stress.”
“You’re right. I am sorry, Tony. You’ll never know just how sorry I am. I tried to go to Dana, you know, but I couldn’t find her. I wanted to talk to her and explain everything. I wanted to apologize. I even asked her parents for her contact information, but no one knew where she’d gone. I called her several times, but she never answered, and she never called me back.”
Cynthia and I just stare at each other for a long time. Our hearts are heavy with the weight of this new knowledge. Yeah, Cynthia screwed up. She majorly, seriously screwed up. I don’t know if I can ever forgive her what she did, but I can understand it. I can understand that she felt she didn’t have any other option. I can understand she felt alone. I can understand she thought I could save her.
“I can’t take back the way I treated you,” I tell her. “But I can change my behavior moving forward.” I take out a business card and give it to her.
“I know where you work, Tony,” she rolls her eyes, but takes the card.
“Anytime you need something, you let me know. If you’re sick and you can’t cook, you call the restaurant and we’ll deliver some meals for you, okay?”
“Really?” She’s surprised. Good. It’s nice to know I can still surprise people a little bit.
“Really,” I confirm. “And I’m sorry for everything.”
“I’m sorry, too, Tony. I wish I could take it back.”
“I wish that, too, Cynthia. I wish that, too.”
Chapter 11
Dana
“Did you kiss and make up?” Rebecca is standing in the hallway outside my dad’s room. She’s playing on her phone and doesn’t even look up when I approach. She just knows me well enough that she can differentiate between my emotions better than most people, even when my scent isn’t particularly strong.
“Something like that,” I say, leaning against the wall next to her. “How are my parents?”
“Good. They ate all that food Tony brought. He should probably bring some more. Your mom shared some of the lasagna with me.” She rubs her belly and licks her lips appreciatively, albeit a bit overdramatically. “Best I’ve ever had.”
“Same,” I say, and she giggles.
“So, what happened? Are you going to marry him now? Did you make up? Did he profess his undying love? Did you?”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Oh really?” She looks up from her phone and sniffs the air. “So you just slept with him, then? But you don’t really love him? Is that it?”
“Dude,” I jerk my head toward the door. “My parents are right there.”
“Yes, and chances are that with their shifter hearing, they’ve already overheard most of this conversation, so you might as well tell me now. Once we go inside, we can all pretend nobody knows you and Tony had sex.”
I hear a gasp from inside my dad’s room.
“Great,” I roll my eyes. “Now my mom knows.”
“I’m pretty sure everyone on the floor knows.” She points to the nearby station where several nurses are trying really, really hard not to be obvious about the fact that they’re eavesdropping.
“We talked,” I tell her. “A lot.”
“And how was that? Did you tell him why you ran away?”
“Yeah. Apparently, he had no idea that Cynthia told me they slept together. He said he was never involved with her, that it was all a lie.”
“Really?” Rebecca uses a fake, high-pitched voice to show me that she thought this was obvious.
“Ready to say ‘I told you so’?”
“Absolutely. I told you so.”
“He didn’t know,” I say, banging my head against the wall. It hurts. I shouldn’t do that again. “He had no idea why I left, and here I thought he had chosen her over me.”
“Communication is the key to a good relationship,” Rebecca says. I don’t punch her in the face, but I probably should. I’m tired of her saying this over and over and over again. Then again, she’s obviously right. Maybe I should be hugging her instead of thinking about strangling her.
“I’m going over to his place after this.”
“Good. I think you guys could use some time together.”
“You don’t mind that I’m running off and abandoning you?”
“In Wolfe City? Please. Have you seen how hot some of these shifters are? I’m going to have a great time,” Rebecca grins. She shoves her phone in her pocket and takes my hand. “Come on. Let’s go check on Dad.”
***
As it turns out, my dad’s condition is stable and he should be released from the hospital in a couple of days, which is a relief. My mother gives me an update and once she assures me that my presence isn’t going to cause my dad any stress or further irritate his heart, I start talking.
Rebecca offers to leave, but honestly, I like having her with me. She’s become such an important part of my life over the last few years that I can’t imagine doing this without her. I can’t imagine facing my parents without her by my side. She’s like the sister I never had, but always wanted.
I explain everything that happened between me and Cynthia, and I tell my parents about what happened with Tony. I tell them I’m going to go talk with him in a little while, and they both look completely relieved.
“To be honest,” my mother says, exchanging a knowing look with Dad. “We were wondering when you were going to come to your senses.”
“What?”
“He’s obviously your mate, honey,” Dad says. “And you’re both obviously completely head-over-heels for each other. What happened was a misunderstanding. All right, it was a huge, terrible, completely ridiculous misunderstanding, but it was a mistake all the same. You can work through mistakes. You can find a way to deal with the issue and come back together stronger and more determined. You can do it.”
“You think our marriage has been perfect?” My mother laughs. “We’ve been together for thirty years, darling. You don’t make it that long without having your own share of fights. Some of ours have been even worse than yours and Tony’s.”
“Somehow, I doubt it. We didn’t talk for two years.”
“Every couple deals with pain in different ways. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have talked to him or reached out. I’m just saying you should learn from your mistakes and not beat each other up too much about it. You certainly shouldn’t beat yourself up too much about it.”
“The past is the past,” my dad agrees. “And nothing good can come from clinging to it.”
“That’s what I keep telling her,” Rebecca is sitting in a chair now and back on her phone. She doesn’t look up. “But does she listen to me? Nope.”
“Shut up, dude.”
“See?” She looks at my parents and points to me. “Do you see what I have to put up with? She’s insufferable.”
“Honey, every good relationship is going to have its ups and downs. You just have to decide whether Tony is worth fighting for. You’ve had two years to think about it. You’ve had two years to
see what your life is like without him,” Dad reaches for me, and I move to him. He takes my hand and squeezes it. “Don’t let your life pass you by, honey. Don’t let fear hold you back from what could be incredible.”
“You’re going to get hurt no matter what you choose,” Mom says, rubbing my back gently. “But if you choose Tony, and you get hurt, he’ll be there to help you. You two are going to have fights and some of them will be really hard to deal with, but you’ll have a partner. You’ll have someone to help you through the darkness. You’ll have someone to help you through the hard times.”
“And even if you don’t choose him,” Rebecca says. “We’re all going to be here for you no matter what, sister.”
She comes over and hugs me. My mom joins in, too.
“My turn,” Dad says after a minute, and I go over and hug him, suddenly overwhelmed by the outpouring of love.
“I’m sorry for everything I’ve done that’s hurt you both,” I tell my parents. “I shouldn’t have stayed away. I should have just talked with you guys. I should have known you would understand.”
“Maybe what you needed was space,” Dad says with a gentle smile. “Maybe what you needed was some time without anyone bothering you to just figure out who you are and what you want.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that, love,” Mom says. “But we’re happy you’re home.”
I think my parents are right. I think I was wrong to leave the way I did, but I think the last two years have taught me a lot about myself, my wants, and my desires. I think the last two years have taught me about what’s important in the world.
Most of all, I think the last two years have taught me that without family, life isn’t worth living.
And I want Tony.
I want him to be my family.
More than anything else in the world, I just want my mate.
Chapter 12
Tony
When I get home, the first thing I do is go into the kitchen. I need to cook. Nothing calms me as much as cooking. Nothing makes me feel as good as making something with my hands, as crafting something people can eat. For as long as I can remember, I’ve used cooking as a way to clear my head.
And now I need it more than ever. I need to have something to do with my hands, something that makes me feel useful because right now I feel like the world’s biggest loser. Right now, I don’t think I can do anything right.
So I focus on the noodles. I focus on the bread. I focus on putting together a salad that’s going to go wonderfully with both. I don’t know who or what I’m cooking for. I just know that if I don’t make something that’s amazing, I’m going to freak out.
Talk about the day from hell.
This morning, I woke up and thought I’d have to deal with Dana at some point this week. I didn’t know it was going to be today. I didn’t know I’d see her and forget everything except the way she makes me feel. I didn’t know I’d chase her or that our inner wolves would completely take over. I didn’t know I’d do anything for her.
And I didn’t know why our relationship ended.
Now I do, though. Now I know the role Cynthia played in our relationship and now I know that Dana and I have some more talking to do, some more communicating. Now I know I have some begging to do. Now I know I need to ask her to forgive me.
I’ve just about finished the meal when the doorbell rings. It’s her. I know it instantly.
“Just a second,” I call out. Quickly, I turn off all the burners and the stove. I add one last touch to the pasta and then I head into the living room to open the door.
“Hello, Tony,” Dana says. She’s standing on the porch with a bottle of wine in her hands. She’s changed since earlier and now she’s wearing a pink flowered dress with black sandals.
“You look beautiful.”
“Can I come in?”
I step aside and Dana walks into the house. She gasps as she sees what I’ve done with the place. Yeah, Dana and I had planned to live here together, but plans change. Still, I decorated the house with her in mind. I guess part of me always hoped she would come back. Part of me always hoped that somehow, we’d be able to work through this.
“Like what you see?” I ask, trying to hold back a smile. She’s staring at the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves that line one of the living room walls. Instead of a television set or a fireplace, the living room holds exactly one couch and 4,356 books.
“It’s a book room,” she says, handing me the wine and moving toward the shelves. She reaches for the novels and starts touching their spines, reading the titles in a whisper.
“Well, I know you like to read.”
“You did this for me?” Dana turns around and there are tears in her eyes. “Even after what happened?”
“I always hoped we’d find a way to make things work,” I tell her. “Come on,” I take her hand. “Let’s go to the kitchen. We’ll open the wine and eat some food and we’ll talk.”
“Yeah,” she allows me to lead her into the adjoining kitchen. “Food is good.” As soon as I set the wine down, though, Dana grabs me and wraps her arms around me. “I’m sorry for everything, Tony.”
“I’m sorry, too, Dana. I should have chased after you. I should have found a way to make things work. I should have done anything but nothing. I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“No,” she shakes her head. “It’s not your fault. How could you have known if I never told you?”
“I went to see Cynthia today,” I tell her.
“What did she say?” Dana tenses in my arms, but I just stroke her hair and rub her back. Her head is pressed against my chest and my arms are around her. This moment feels so sweet, so tender, and I don’t want anything to change it.
“She apologized, for starters. Turns out, Cynthia hasn’t had an easy time of it, either. She wanted something I couldn’t give, something I had no idea she wanted.”
“She wanted you.”
“And she went to extreme measures to get it,” I confirm. “But she’s got her own life now, and her own problems, I told her I forgave her.”
I wait for Dana to protest, to judge me for this. I wait for her to say I should have sought some sort of revenge, that I should have done something else, but she doesn’t. That’s not Dana. That’s not the type of woman she is.
“That’s decent of you,” Dana says. “You’re a good man, Tony. Most people would have tried to get back at her, you know.”
“Nothing good will come of ruining her life.”
“You’re right.” She pulls back slightly and looks up at me. Then Dana cups my face with one of her soft, tiny little hands. “Where do we go from here, Tony?”
“I was thinking we’d have some dinner and wine and see where the night leads us.”
“That’s not what I mean, goofball.”
“I know what you mean, baby.”
“I’ll move back to Wolfe City,” she says. “If you say you want me, that you want to try again, that you think this could work, I’ll move back tomorrow.”
“Move here,” I say instantly. “Come work with me at the restaurant. Come be with me, Dana. I need you. I’ve missed you so much.”
“It’s done,” she says. “I’ve missed you, too, Tony: more than you’ll ever know.”
“I think I have a pretty good idea,” I whisper.
And suddenly, dinner is the last thing on my mind. I realize I haven’t met every man in the world, but right now, I think it’s safe to say I’m the luckiest man in the world. I think it’s fair to say that no one has ever been as happy or as content as I am in this moment.
Oh, we’ll have our issues to work out. I’m sure jealousy and nervousness will creep up from time to time. Even the strongest relationships face problems sometimes, but Dana and I are in this together and together, we can make this work.
“Where’s Rebecca?” I ask. “Will she be waiting for you?” What I’m really asking is if she has a curfew or if she can stay the night with me because right now, I want D
ana all to myself.
“She went off with Brandon,” Dana says. “They really hit it off. I think they’re going to dinner together.”
“She won’t mind you staying out late tonight?”
“For you? She won’t mind. Rebecca’s a big girl. She can look after herself.”
“And what about you?”
“I can look after myself, too.”
“And what is it that you want, Dana?”
“Right now I want to kiss you, Tony.”
“Then kiss me.”
Dana presses her lips to mine and my whole world begins to spin.
Chapter 13
Dana
I kiss him like my life depends on it because suddenly, I feel like it does. Suddenly, I feel like every second I’m not kissing him is a waste. Suddenly, I feel like every part of my body is going to explode if I don’t keep kissing him, touching him, holding him.
“Be mine,” he whispers.
“I’ve always been yours.”
I kiss him harder, faster. His hands are in my hair, on my back, on my bottom. He grips my ass and pulls me closer to himself. His cock presses against my core and I rub myself against him. I don’t even care how feral, how raw this is. It’s what I want more than anything else. It’s what I need.
“I can’t wait,” he says. “I need you now.”
“Then take me,” I whisper, pulling back and just staring at those beautiful brown eyes. “I’m yours, Tony. Forever.”
He doesn’t wait.
He grabs me and lifts me up. My legs wrap around his waist and he kisses me as he carries me to the counter. He sets me down and I keep kissing him as he wiggles out of his pants and kicks them aside.
“Spread your legs,” he takes a step back and starts stroking his cock as I spread my knees wide. I pull up my skirt so he can see my panties. I’m sure they’re already soaked through with my arousal. Sex has never been the problem with me and Tony. Never. It’s always been good, but this is great. This is passionate. This is years of pent-up energy.
