by Barbara Gee
She exhaled slowly. “Me either. Definitely not. And on that note, I think I’ll go.” She pushed away from the wall and walked to the door. She opened it, then looked back at him. “I’m glad we talked. I think.”
“I’m glad, too. No more avoiding me?”
“Nope. But you may come to regret that. I talk a lot. And I can be a pest.”
“I doubt that,” he said with a smile.
“Come over for breakfast tomorrow at seven. Don’t expect a big feast, though. Maddy and I cook in the mornings, to give Kay a break.”
“I’ll be there. Good night, Libby.”
“Good night, Ryan. Sweet dreams.”
***
Ryan stared at the door for a long time after she left. Their talk had cleared some things up for him, but it certainly hadn’t been easy for her. Now it was up to him to prove that he wasn’t going to hold her lapse in judgement against her. He was surprised to know that a strong, independent girl like Libby had felt the need to give in to her jerk of a boyfriend’s demands. But he believed her when she said it was a one-time thing. One of the reasons he was a good detective was because he was adept at reading people, and there was no doubt in his mind that the shame and regret he’d seen in Libby’s eyes had been genuine.
He also had no doubt that the reason she cared so much about what he thought was because she liked him. He had seen the attraction in her eyes tonight, felt the electric crackle of it when they were close. She was fighting it, but it was there.
He was fighting it, too, which was why he’d felt compelled to voice the reasons why it wouldn’t be a good idea to let things go any further between them. He’d be returning to North Carolina in three months, and her life was here. A short-lived fling would be selfish, and it would only hurt them both in the end.
He couldn’t do that to her. Libby was a forever kind of girl, and he hadn’t been interested in forever for a long time. But now he was left wondering how he was going to resist the irresistible for three whole months.
CHAPTER 8
Ryan limped over to the ranch house the next morning just before seven o’clock. He had rolled out of bed to find that his legs were every bit as sore as Libby had predicted they would be. How one hour of riding could cause so much agony to a man who was in darn good physical shape was beyond him.
He paused outside the kitchen and straightened his shoulders, determined to walk in there normally if it killed him.
“Good morning, Ryan!” Maddy called cheerfully when he entered.
“Morning, Ryan,” Libby chimed in. “We missed you on our run this morning.”
“I overslept,” he said, meeting her eyes and daring her to challenge his excuse.
“That’s understandable. You had a long day yesterday,” she said with a knowing grin.
He walked in her direction to see what she was stirring in a big glass bowl, passing Maddy at the stove, frying bacon.
“I thought you said breakfast wouldn’t be a feast,” he commented. “Are you making pancakes?”
“Yep. Whole wheat buttermilk. And it’s a Kay recipe, so you know they’re gonna be good.”
His stomach growled audibly and she laughed. “Sounds like I’d better get them in the griddle.”
As she picked up the bowl of batter, she dropped the tea towel she’d been carrying. “Oops. Could you get that for me?” she asked.
Ryan instinctively bent to pick it up, then stopped short and stifled a groan at the pain. He made the mistake of looking at Libby, whose beautiful eyes were sparkling as she bit her lip to hide a smile.
“You dropped that towel on purpose,” he growled.
Her brows rose as she tried to look innocent. “Why would I do that?”
Maddy laughed behind them. “Don’t tease him, Lib. He’s our guest.”
Libby chuckled and picked up the towel herself. “I wouldn’t tease him if he would just admit he’s not Superman.”
Ryan caved then, bending over and resting his forearms on the countertop. “I’m not Superman,” he said on a groan. “And I’m never getting on a horse again.”
She picked up his hand and turned it palm up, then dropped three ibuprofen tablets into it. He closed his fingers around the pills like they were precious gold nuggets.
“There’s juice and coffee over there,” Libby said, pointing. “Help yourself.”
Tuck walked in as Ryan was swallowing the pills, and the men went to set the table while Libby finished frying the pancakes and Maddy plated the bacon and took a bowl of fresh mixed fruit from the refrigerator.
Libby was proud of herself for acting easy and natural around Ryan, and she was encouraged by his response. She’d been afraid that once he thought more about what she’d told him the night before, he would become more and more disgusted, but she hadn’t seen any evidence of that during their brief encounter.
Virgil and Kay joined them at the table, and the six of them ate and planned the coming day together. The amount of food Ryan and Tuck could put away was epic. Libby had made a double batch of pancakes, and there were none left over.
After breakfast they all worked to clean up, then Tuck and Ryan headed out to the job site. Tuck had taken the morning off so he could introduce Ryan to the general contractor and his crew, and make it clear that Ryan was now their go to man. Everything was to go through him, and if necessary, he would be the one to call Tuck, or talk to Maddy and Libby. Ryan’s presence would take a huge burden off Tuck’s shoulders, and that made everyone happy.
As soon as Libby settled behind her desk in the bedroom-turned-office, Maddy was in her face.
“Okay, girlfriend, I think I’m missing something here. Was it my imagination, or were you actually enjoying yourself at breakfast, with Ryan Anderson sitting right across the table from you? And you were actually teasing him in the kitchen!”
Libby fiddled with a pen for a moment before looking up at her friend. “You threw me to the wolves last night, you know. You and Tuck got all hot and bothered out in the stable and you sent me off to take care of Ryan without a second thought. That was rotten.”
Maddy looked only a tiny bit apologetic. “Sorry, but believe it or not, I knew what I was doing. I mean, yeah, Tuck had me awfully distracted, but I’d already decided that forcing you and Ryan to be alone might be the best thing. I know you very well, Lib, and I knew you’d have the courage to talk to him if the opportunity arose.”
“So you took it upon yourself to present us with the opportunity?”
“I did. And I was right, wasn’t I?”
Libby nodded reluctantly. “As it turned out, yes, but it could have backfired just as easily. Next time let me decide when the time is right, okay?”
“Promise,” Maddy said. “Now tell me how it went.”
Libby’s eyes narrowed as she studied her friend’s face. Maddy still didn’t appear suitably sorry, in Libby’s opinion, but she knew Maddy’s motives had been pure so she decided to let it go.
“It was hard, Maddy. I had no intention of talking about it so soon, but he was pushing to know why I was uncomfortable around him, so I finally told him. I think it helped that you and I had talked about it earlier, but it was still awful. I feel so far removed from the person I was then, and to admit I did something so slutty is humiliating.”
“I have to ask, did he see you and Devon?”
“No, thankfully. In fact, he knew absolutely nothing about it, so all that worry about what he must think of me was for nothing.”
Now Maddy did look sorry. “So if I hadn’t meddled you might have been able to avoid the conversation altogether?”
“Probably not. I think I would have had to address it eventually, because I had to know one way or another whether he saw it, or heard about it.”
“So he handled it okay?”
“Yeah. I won’t give you a play by play of our conversation, but he seemed to believe me when I said I’d never done anything like that before, or since.”
“He’s a detectiv
e. He’s trained to know when someone is lying.”
“I suppose. At any rate, we talked about it and I think we’re at a good place. We’ve put the awkwardness behind us, and I think we have the potential to become pretty good friends.” Libby shook her finger at her friend. “But that’s as far as it goes. He made that clear. He’s not looking for a relationship.”
Maddy flipped her hand. “That’s what they all say, Libby. That’s what they all say.”
“Mmm, pretty sure he meant it. And it’s for the best, anyway.”
“Why do you say that?”
Libby sighed. “He’s a good man. Probably even a great man. And yes, I’m attracted to him. But I don’t want to ever again lose sight of who I am or what’s best for me. I need to surround myself with people who have the same values and beliefs as I do, because I’ve already seen what happens when I let the wrong people influence me. It’s taken me twenty-seven years to find peace, Maddy. You, Tuck, Virgil and Kay modeled the peace I was trying so hard to find, and you waited and prayed and hoped I’d get there. And I finally did.”
“I know you did. The day you gave your life to Christ was one of the best days of my life.”
“It was the very best day of mine, and I don’t ever want to go back to the way things were before that. That’s why I’m okay with just being friends with Ryan. I need a man who shares my faith, who can make me stronger in it. And I’m pretty sure Ryan doesn’t fit. I don’t think he’s a believer, so I can’t allow myself to fall for him. I need you to help hold me accountable, because it would be so very easy to want more with a man like that.”
Maddy smiled sadly. “Well, that’s too bad. Aside from that, he was made for you. When you were teasing him in the kitchen earlier, I could suddenly see you two growing old together.”
“Don’t say that. I can’t compromise on this. Anything else, maybe, but not this.”
“I agree. And I’ll help, I just wish it could be different.” Maddy went back over to her own desk. Before she sat down, she looked back over her shoulder. “I’ll be praying about it, Lib. Ryan needs what you have, now more than ever. Maybe the Full Heart Ranch will work its magic on him, just like it did on you.”
Libby sat back in her chair and contemplated Maddy’s words. Even though the room was warm, she shivered. If there were no obstacles, she knew without a doubt she would fall hard for Ryan Anderson. The kind of hard that either lasted forever, or left her with heartbreak that would never completely heal.
It was time to change the subject. “Come look at the guest room interior ideas I worked up yesterday,” she said, clicking her mouse to bring up the models she’d saved. “I also contacted two more facilities down in Texas. Both of them have dining halls similar to what we’re envisioning. I think we should go visit them at some point.”
Soon the two women were completely engrossed in their work and, for the time being at least, Libby was able to put Ryan out of her mind.
CHAPTER 9
The rest of the week passed quickly, with Ryan becoming an important part of the team. He’d learned the construction trade thoroughly by working with his dad over many summers and while he was in the Army Reserves going to college, and he was proving to be a competent man to have on site. Tuck trusted him completely, and thus Maddy and Libby did, too.
The four of them spent hours every evening discussing the project. Libby could tell that it was quickly becoming more than just an escape to Ryan. His questions about what the retreat center aimed to do for the veterans were endless, and it was gratifying to watch him coming to believe in what they were trying to accomplish.
They also told him how it had all started with Jolene Tolley, the physical therapist Tuck had hired to help Maddy recover from her injuries the year before. One day during dinner, Jolene had told them about a nonprofit she and some fellow PTs had set up, allowing them to take turns volunteering at veterans retreats and camps all over the U.S., teaching vets and their families how to maintain their physical therapy on an ongoing basis after being released from the hospital and rehab. Jolene’s moving stories had struck a chord with the others, and after many, many hours of discussion and research, the idea of their own retreat center had taken shape.
Libby and Tuck had been blessed with a considerable inheritance and had decided to completely finance the building of the project. This would allow the donations they planned to secure for the retreat center to go directly toward day to day operations, including covering all the expenses of the participating families, so they could attend the retreats at no cost.
Ryan seemed fascinated by the evolution of their dream, but in spite of his hard work and enthusiasm, Libby could tell that his personal situation continued to weigh on him. His mail was being delivered to Tuck at the FBI field office, but so far nothing of interest had come in. On Friday evening he mentioned going to the UPS Store over the weekend, because he’d gotten an email notifying him that some mail had been delivered there during the two day window before Tuck had changed the forwarding address to his office. Libby volunteered to go pick it up for him, since she knew Tuck wanted Ryan to go with him to Grand Forks to interview some potential flooring contractors.
“Are you sure you have the time?” Ryan asked when she offered to make the trip.
“Sure. There’s a big farmers’ market that Kay loves in that town. I’ll get a list from her and knock that out while I’m there.”
“If you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it. All you need is the key, which I have over at the cabin.”
“Bring it over tomorrow at breakfast.”
He stood up and held out a hand to her. “Better yet, walk me home and I’ll give it to you now. I want to show you something anyway. I need a female opinion.”
Libby took his hand and let him pull her up from her comfortable spot on the couch. His hand was big and strong and calloused, so different from the soft, well-manicured hands of the men she had tended to associate with prior to coming to the Full Heart. She had to wonder now what their appeal had been. Compared to Ryan, they were prissy, materialistic fluff-balls. Libby much preferred Ryan’s tough, physical masculinity, which probably wasn’t a good thing since she was also trying very hard not to acknowledge her attraction.
Tuck and Maddy decided to go home as well, so they all said their goodnights to Virgil and Kay and went out into the beautiful spring night.
“We should have gone for a ride tonight,” Maddy said. “You need to get back on a horse, Ryan, or you’re going to lose whatever conditioning you gained the other night.”
“I’m not sure it’s worth it. Today was the first time I’ve been able to squat without pain. I’m even planning to go running with you guys tomorrow.”
The others laughed and Libby poked his arm. “You went from being Superman to Super-wuss. Come on, Ryan, it won’t be so bad the second time.”
“You’re shaming me into giving it another shot. I’ll do it if you promise to only go half as long this time.”
“Deal,” she said. “We’ll ride out to the big butte sometime soon. That’s not far enough to hurt you much.”
At the mention of the big butte, Ryan gave Tuck a look, and his friend smiled. “I know your last time out there wasn’t exactly pleasant, but that butte holds good childhood memories for Libby and I, and we refuse to let Jimmy Callahan ruin that for us. We still go out there a lot.”
“Our dad took us there every time we came out to visit,” Libby added. “We prefer to remember those times rather than the fight with Jimmy’s thugs. But if you don’t want to go there, we have lots of other options.”
“No, it’s fine with me. I’d like to see it in the light of day, with no armed guys waiting at the top.”
“We’ll do it soon, then,” Maddy said as she and Tuck veered off the lane to their place. “See you guys in the morning. We run at seven on Saturdays, Ryan, instead of six.”
“Thanks for the heads up.” He looked down at Libby as they continued on to his cabin. “Were you
going to mention the time change to me, or let me to cool my heels for an hour while you three slept in?”
“I would’ve told you if I thought about it,” Libby said with a smile.
“I guess I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.”
“What do you want to show me?” she asked as they went up the steps to his cabin.
“I want your advice on a wedding gift for some good friends of mine.”
“From Chandler? You’re not going to miss the wedding, are you?”
“No, they haven’t even set a date yet. I’m guessing it’ll be soon after I get back, though, and the gift I’m thinking of getting takes a lot of lead time, so I need to make a decision.”
Libby settled onto the bed cross-legged while Ryan retrieved his iPad from the little table by the window and then joined her.
“Okay, so here’s the deal. My next door neighbor back home is a sweet little lady named Clara. She and her daughter, Iris, make quilts and sell them. Iris puts the tops together, and then Clara does the quilting.” Ryan looked sideways at Libby, one brow arched. “Don’t mock me for my extensive quilt knowledge. You have no idea how many hours I’ve spent over the years listening to Clara talk about them.”
Libby smiled. “I think it’s sweet that you’re buddies with your neighbor lady.”
“She’s a great lady. When I bought my house, I had just gotten out of the Army Reserves and taken the job with the Chandler City Police. I didn’t know anyone else in the area, and Clara was a good friend and sounding board to me.”
“How long were you in the Army?”
“Four years active duty, and then another four in the Reserves. Most of that last four years was spent in school, but I had a couple of short deployments thrown in.”
“What was your job? Or your MOS, I guess is the correct term.” Libby felt his sudden stillness and she looked over at him curiously.
