"We can see that movie tomorrow night. I love Mike's cooking." Ryan placed his arm around her shoulders and she just wanted to crawl in a hole and die alone.
He knew all about what happened in the past and how hard it had been to lose Cooper. But despite all that, he agreed to stay.
"Well, I'm cooking tonight."
Sophia grinned. No one wanted Jacob's cooking. Not that his was that bad, but it was nothing compared to Mike's. It helped that he worked at the fire department and loved to cook. Maybe she'd get out of the dinner after all.
Then Ryan spoke again and all hope was lost. "Hmm, well that'll be fine too." He smiled a little too big and Sophia about blurted that her brother was straight, just to rile him up.
But that would've been a mistake, considering no one else knew Ryan was gay except for her. People suspected sometimes, but he kept it quiet. The townsfolk wouldn't be too happy to find out the truth, especially his father who was also the preacher.
She didn't have a chance to change his mind as he walked into the house and Cooper held his arm out for her to walk ahead. As she walked back through the doorway, she tripped and braced herself for the impact.
Instead, her life just had to be worse. She didn't hit the ground and bust her face which seemed preferable right then. Nope, large hands grabbed her waist and pulled her up until her back ended up pressed against a ridiculously hard and hot body. Every nerve inside of her stood on alert and she started to shake.
"Are you okay?" His mouth grazed her ear and warm breath tickled her neck.
Every feeling, every longing she ever had for Cooper, flooded her at once. She had to make it through the night and then she'd make sure to stay far, far away from him.
"I'm okay." The words came out a little breathy. Biting her lip, she pulled away but made the mistake of turning to peep up at him. He wasn't smiling and she could tell his breathing was heavier than before. She had it wrong, though. No way could he have felt the same thing she had. "Thank you."
Sophia hurried off to sit on the couch beside Ryan. If she stayed away, then everything would be okay.
Ryan leaned over and chuckled softly. "I was sure you were going to have an orgasm right there in his arms. The way you closed your eyes and then that breathy sigh. Not to mention his own heavy breathing. I think you both just had sex with your clothes on."
Her whole body set on fire, she felt relieved at least that no one else heard what Ryan said, but they were close enough for his words to embarrass her. He liked to push her buttons. She took her opportunity to elbow him in the ribs.
"Ouch!" Even though he rubbed at his ribs, she didn't miss the twinkle in his green eyes.
Jerk.
****
Cooper kept finding it hard to breathe as he sat down in the recliner across from Sophia and her friend who had his arm draped over her shoulder. It took a lot of will power and the tight grip he had on the leather to keep from jumping up and punching the guy.
Ryan seemed gay, but he could just be thinking that since he wanted to rip the guy's face off for touching Sophia. If he wasn't her boyfriend, then surely the guy she was actually dating wouldn't want a straight guy touching her. No, Ryan had to be gay.
Didn't stop Cooper from glaring at him. It was better than staring at Sophia. Shit. She was so perfect, so damn sexy.
He wanted to punch himself in the face. Why did he ever leave her? Nothing had ever been more important than her. Not even his music.
She wore those jeans just right and he wasn't sure he could handle seeing her walking again. He'd nearly tripped with her earlier because he couldn't remove his eyes from her heart-shaped ass. It was official—he was a pervert, but those jeans were made just for her. He could tell she wore them often by the natural fade and the way the heels were torn from where she'd walked on them.
And then her cowgirl boots. He bit the inside of his lip and contained the groan fighting to be released. He saw girls all the time in cowgirl boots, but they were always new and just perfectly clean. No scuff marks or dirt. Sophia's were light brown, dirty, and even a little faded. Oh, she wore her boots because she liked them, not to be sexy—but it was most definitely the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.
"Hello?"
By the amusement on Ryan's face, that wasn't the first time he'd spoken. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"
Ryan threw his head back and laughed. "Yeah, I did. I was asking where've you been all this time."
Simple enough. "Texas. My uncle has a ranch there and I've been helping out for the past four years."
"Four?" Sophia's brows drew together and she tilted her head just a tad as she waited for him to reply.
"Yeah, four. I traveled for a while and finished some college courses before my uncle called and asked me to go help him out. It was something new." Man, he should've been coming back home. He wondered just how serious she was about her boyfriend.
He couldn't ask about the asshole. It would be inappropriate and he'd only piss her off, by the way she pursed her lips. Maybe it was even petty to call the guy an asshole in his head, but he really didn't care. Anyone with Sophia couldn’t be good enough. Not even him.
"I'm glad you had fun." She pushed up off the couch and walked away.
Yep, she was pissed alright. Maybe something lingered there between them. The feel of the grin spreading across his face shocked him. This smile was real. For once he was happy and all because of his sweet Sophia. Coming back home felt hard, but if he left again, it was going to be hell.
"You've done it now."
His attention pulled once again to Ryan. He fisted his hands as the guy shook his head and smiled. "It's none of your business."
Ryan leaned forward to place his elbows on his knees and narrowed his green eyes on Cooper. "You're wrong about that. She is my business and if you hurt her again, don't think I won't be there defending her. I may not act like I have a temper and you may think you can take me, but it won't happen. Don't mess with Sophia if you're not serious this time."
Respect for Ryan grew. Only a little. He couldn't believe the guy just threatened him. Cooper kept his body in shape, but Ryan was not a small guy and he wasn't stupid enough to think he wouldn't be a challenge. Of course, Ryan hadn't lived the last few years like Cooper.
"Cooper!" Nick's voice didn't pull his gaze from Ryan.
It might have been childish, but he wasn't going to be the first one to turn away. A small amount of satisfaction filled him when Ryan changed his focus to Nick. "What's up, Nick?"
"Nothing much. Sorry, I had to take a shower after Mike and Jacob. They hog it more than Sophia." Nick smiled at Cooper. "How the hell have you been? And where?"
He told the same story he’d just related to Sophia and Ryan.
"Well, we sure have missed you around here. I hate it's taken this long for you to come back home." Nick twisted to look into the kitchen and his nose wrinkled up. "Damn, I'm going to apologize in advance. Jacob really isn't that great a chef but he likes to cook anyways and we have to deal with it. It's always a good damn day when Mike can take over."
The door swung open and Mike came in, as if he had been waiting for his name to be called. His blonde hair curled out just a little from his hat. The fair-haired Johnson brother. Cooper jumped up and took one of the brown paper bags from him.
"Thanks. Oh, Cooper!" Mike still had a pair of sunglasses on as he carried the other bag over to the empty counter. After setting his load on it, he pulled off the shades and held his free hand out. "It's about time you showed back up."
Cooper pulled him for a quick hug and smiled. "Sorry I'm late."
Mike's nose scrunched up. "Damn. I thought Jacob was going to wait on me before he started cooking."
"I heard that! I can handle dinner for once."
Funny how he sounded so confident, but kept jumping around and dropping things every few seconds. Made no sense to him that someone would want to cook so bad if they weren't good at it. Cooper could cook, but was used to m
aking food for himself if his aunt didn't ask him to dinner.
Entertaining a group of people wouldn't be as easy as fixing dinner for one. He leaned over to Mike who was watching Jacob and shaking his head. "Maybe you should go in there and help him."
Mike laughed. "Not sure he'll let me, but I want to eat edible food tonight and he won't have a choice."
As they started arguing in the kitchen with Nick sitting at the bar eating an orange, Cooper looked back over at Sophia and found her big blue eyes on him. Her gaze dropped instantly and a light shade of pink colored her cheeks. Now he had no doubt she was still attracted to him. The only problem remained her boyfriend and how serious they were about each other.
Chapter Four
It was too much! Her chest tightened and she had to walk outside just to catch her breath. This couldn't be happening. She had someone. I’m finally getting over Cooper after seven years and he just shows up. That crooked smile he shot her after catching her ogling him had been the last straw.
She didn't give a damn what Ryan wanted to do, but she was leaving. Maybe she could visit Seth and everything would go back to normal. Once she hit the last step, the door opened behind her. She ignored it, knowing Ryan had followed her. She didn't make two more steps before a hot hand touched her shoulder and sent a strong tingle down her spine. Her feet betrayed her and stayed frozen in place.
Not Ryan. Oh no, that would've been too easy.
"Where are you going?"
His deep voice still caused her body to melt and she hated him for it. Please just leave. Her lids drifted closed as she tried to compose herself. Once she felt like she could keep from crying, she turned to find him acting as if nothing was wrong. After everything, she really didn't think he had a clue how bad he'd hurt her.
There was no possible way to know how he really felt. He always hid it.
"Why did you come back here?" A groan escaped her throat when she dropped her eyes to his wide shoulders and chest. "And why did you have to come back looking like this?"
She hated him even more as the corners of his mouth twitched. Seth. Seth. Seth.
"Looking like what, Sophia?"
Shit. Her name rolled off his tongue in a thick accent and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. Did he sound even more country than before he left? Those baby blues of his darkened as they dropped to her lips. "Oh, forget it! I can't do this, Cooper."
For once she saw something in his expression, but it was gone just as quick. The man was just so frustrating.
Time for him to answer the question that pestered her since the day he left.
"Why did you just leave? I was alone without you." At that time, he’d been her only friend. She didn't get along with any of the girls at school. A courtesy of growing up with all boys, and losing a mother before puberty didn't help matters.
She had to pretend to be okay in front of her brothers just so they weren't suspicious of how she felt about Cooper, but it proved hard. Things got better when she went to college and met Ryan.
She didn't remember much about him from high school since he was two years older, but they became friends instantly. Not that it took all the pain away from losing Cooper.
"Sophia, I'm sorry."
Her hands shook and she took a deep breath just to keep from hitting him. "I didn't ask for an apology! You kissed me and then you left me when I was asleep. I didn't have another friend. You were it, except for my brothers. I had no one to talk to about how I felt about you and just how bad I was hurting."
As she stood there waiting for him to speak, she got angrier and needed to let it all out. "I waited for you to call or write. But there was nothing! Seven years of nothing."
The tears slipped out of her eyes and she turned away. He didn't deserve them.
When he stood there longer without another word, she gave up waiting and walked away. She pulled her jeep door open and squealed when she was spun around and his lips landed on hers. At first she just stood there, not even sure if it was really happening. His kiss wasn't sweet this time as he pressed her against the side of her jeep and held the back of her head with both hands.
Sophia grabbed his shoulders for support, glad she'd parked with the driver side facing away from the house. Maybe her brothers wouldn't see what happened. And then Seth— She shoved him away. "What the hell?"
He didn't pull completely away from her and just leaned his forehead against hers. His smell drifted into her nose and she let it sink in. If she could steal the shirt off his back just to smell, she'd be so happy. Whatever cologne he used drove her crazy.
"I'm seeing someone. You can't just kiss me like that."
His breath tickled her nose. "I know. I never expected this to happen again. I swear I was going to leave you alone. You deserve better than me. Everybody that gets too close to me just ends up hurt. I'm so sorry I hurt you when I left, but just believe me when I say I regretted it every day of my life."
Her throat closed. All she could do was shove at his chest and jump into her jeep. He didn't stop her this time and she didn't check to see where he was before pulling off. Maybe her brothers wouldn't know why she left, but she couldn't bring herself to care about what they thought. Or Ryan.
A song came on the radio and she tried to focus on the words. It didn't work. All she could hear were Cooper's words repeating over and over. Did that mean he just regretted hurting her or leaving her? Lost in thought, she nearly missed the fact that her phone was ringing.
She slowed on the gravel road and glanced down at the screen. Seth. She’d cheated on him! No. Cooper kissed her and she, well, sort of kissed back. Was it still considered cheating? Damn him! Everything had been just fine with him staying away doing whatever he'd been doing.
When she didn't answer, the phone went quiet for a minute before ringing again. She never ignored his calls and knew he'd be calling as he normally did at this time when he was at work. She slid her thumb across the screen and put it to her ear.
"Hello?"
"Hey, sexy! Can you turn the radio down?" He was laughing.
She'd cheated on him and there he was all happy and without a clue. She twisted the knob on her dashboard and made herself laugh with him. "Sorry. I was just in lala land."
It wasn't unusual for her to get easily distracted.
"That's my baby." His voice became distant as he talked to someone at the fire department. "Shut-up, asshole. I've heard what you call your wife, so don't start."
Okay, that was so much better. She still cared for Seth. The feelings may not be as strong as what she felt for Cooper, but they were there and hadn’t disappeared as she’d feared after seeing Cooper again.
"Can I come and see you?" If she kissed him, maybe everything would be back to normal. Would it be wrong to kiss him after being kissed by another man? At least she’d never opened her mouth, as much as she'd wanted to.
"Sure!"
"Alright, I'll be there in a minute." A short fifteen minute ride brought her to the station. The fear of him finding out made the trip quicker than she would've liked.
Seth always did look handsome with his navy blue pants and matching shirt with the station’s initials on it. NSFD—New Springs Fire Department. His dirty blonde hair was messy and she could tell he'd been in the sun lately. If only she turned that shade of bronze. Seeing him soothed her, except the butterflies that normally filled her stomach when he was around didn't seem to be there anymore.
Sophia Aliyah Johnson, you better forget about Cooper or you'll ruin it all. She'd been with Seth for four months and everything was going smoothly. In those four months she still hadn't slept with him, yet today, she was sure Cooper could've had her stripped naked if she hadn't pushed him away.
She took the keys out of the ignition and jumped out of the jeep. "Hey!"
The smile on his face didn't cause the same reactions as the smile she swooned over earlier. Seth wrapped his arms around her and slipped his hands down to her butt.
"Set
h!" She wiggled until he released her and then kissed her. In that brief time, he tried to slip his tongue between her lips, but she pulled away. She forced a smile to keep him from noticing that she didn't want to kiss. "Have y'all been busy?"
"No. One call and wasn't anything major." He sounded almost disappointed.
"Well, no offense, but in your line of work, I think I'd rather not be as busy. It means people are safe."
He laughed. "You know what I mean. We've just been playing some games and watched a movie. The guys are in the middle of one now. We could sneak up to the beds and spend some time alone." His brows bounced up and down enthusiastically.
After they'd been together so long, she thought they'd be ready for the next step. She wasn't. Thinking about sleeping with him just didn't seem right. Ryan hated Seth, but wouldn't ever give her a reason, so anytime she brought up that it was time, he just talked her out of it.
She wasn't a virgin. A year after Cooper had left, she slept with a guy in college. She regretted it right away, which was why taking that step with Seth proved hard to do.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she just laughed when she read it.
"Who's that?"
"Ryan. I ditched him at my home. He's having dinner with my brothers and—" She wasn't sure if she should say anything more. Not that he knew anything about how she felt for Cooper.
"And?"
He gave her his drop your panties smile. At least that was how she'd heard other women describe it. Every one of those same women hated Sophia. Something she’d grown used to long ago. She still wasn't good with other women.
"Umm, well, Cooper is back in town." Even if he didn't know anything, she found herself focusing her gaze anywhere else, but at him.
"That right? I haven't really spoken to him since he was injured playing football senior year. We only talked before games and sometimes at parties. I didn't hang out with your brothers and him too often. He didn't do much after the torn ACL." Seth grabbed her hand and headed into the station. "I heard he took off after his grandpa died. No one knew where he went. There were rumors about him losing it and ditching everything. The house and all."
Lost Chances Page 3
