by Mira Grant
“But… but you work here,” I protested. “Why do you need my thumb drive?”
“Partially as a show of good faith—it would be an excellent way for you to indicate that you’re willing to work with us, don’t you think? And partially because we haven’t been able to get at Dr. Banks’s computer. He’s actually very careful about his security with most people. You’re special, Sal.” For a moment, Sherman looked almost angry at me. I took an unconscious step backward. “You’ve never understood just how special you were, have you? Just how many rules have been bent to allow you to live your happy little life, safe in your cocoon of oblivious joy? I’m afraid that’s going to end soon. We’re coming up on a war, my pet, and there’s no room for coddling in a war zone. I do hope you’ll side with us in what’s to be done. It would be easier that way. On all of us, I think, but most especially on you. You’re the one who has to suffer if you choose wrong. And all you have to do—the very first step you need to take, to show us that you’re ready to play games with the big boys—is give us that thumb drive.”
“I don’t understand any of this,” I whispered.
“You can’t hide in ignorance after you’ve already admitted that you’re not that foolish, sweetheart. You’re through the doors. It’s too late by far.” Sherman closed the distance between us in two long steps, reaching out to tweak a lock of my hair between his fingers. What joy I had felt at the return of my friend was quickly dying, replaced by a whole new kind of fear. “Remember? ‘Why do you need my thumb drive?’” The voice he used to imitate me was squeaky and girlish. A weak voice.
I might be a child. I might be the least well-informed person in this room. But I was not weak.
“Get the hell away from me,” I snapped, and stomped down on his foot, hard.
Sherman’s eyes widened. And then, to my surprise and chagrin, he started to laugh. “Oh, so they’ve been teaching you to fight back, have they? That’s a fun new wrinkle. But Sally, darling, it’s not going to help you. This is so much bigger than you are.”
I stomped on his foot again. He stopped laughing.
“That doesn’t hurt me,” he said, sounding suddenly annoyed. “I have nerve damage in my feet. I’m not allowed to go outside when it’s snowing, and I feel no pain when brainless little lab rats decide to step on me. You may as well stop being defiant and give us what we’re asking for, or we’ll just take it, and then you’ll lose the satisfaction of knowing that you cooperated with us. And believe me, Sally, you want that satisfaction. It hurts so much less.”
“I thought you were my friend.” My voice was still little more than a whisper. It was loud enough to be heard, and that was all that mattered.
“I am your friend, Sal, the best one you’ve ever had. I am so much more your friend than the people who want to use you, or experiment on you. Didn’t I teach you things? Didn’t I offer you companionship without ever asking for anything in return? The only reason I’m being unpleasant now is because you’ve managed to wind up in our way. Not even because you meant to be. Because someone else put you there. Doesn’t that make you angry?”
“I agreed to be put where I am right now,” I said, and stepped away from him again. “I never asked for friendship with strings attached. I never asked you to do me any favors.”
“That’s a lie. You practically begged me for my friendship. Poor, confused little Sally Mitchell, running through a maze with walls she couldn’t even see. You’ve been an experiment this whole time, all because you wouldn’t stop lying—not to me, not to the doctors, not to yourself. I know you know. Now isn’t it time that you admitted it, and did something for yourself?”
The drums were pounding in my ears, and there was a catch in my chest that made it hard for me to breathe. I pushed through it, straightening, and looked at him calmly. “I am doing this for myself,” I said. “I’m sorry you’re too… whatever you are… to see that.”
“I believe the word you’re looking for is ‘ruthless,’” said Sherman, and sighed. “Where are you going to learn your new vocabulary words without me?”
“I’m pretty good with words,” said a voice from the back of the lab.
All four of us turned in unison to see a woman in a lab coat and slacks standing in the open door to the electrical closet. She had a pistol in each hand, and her short blonde hair was streaked liberally with strawberry pink. She was smiling broadly. On her, the expression looked more like a shark’s threat than a greeting.
“Hi, guys,” said Tansy brightly. “Miss me?”
Sherman was the first to recover. “Not particularly,” he said, producing a smaller handgun from inside his jacket. He closed the distance between us in a single step and looped an arm around my neck, pulling it snug under my chin as he yanked me against him. I squeaked. That was all I had the time to do before the barrel of his gun was pressed to my temple, digging in just enough to act as a silent reminder to keep still.
There are some things even I don’t argue with. I froze.
Tansy yawned. “Really, Shermie? That’s what you’re going to do? You’re going to point a gun at Sal? Because what, that’s going to suddenly make me change sides and go with you if you just promise not to harm a hair on her pwetty widdle head? I’ve got news for you, dumbass: I don’t even like the bitch. She’s annoying, she’s whiny, she has the learning curve of lichen, and I’m tired of everybody acting like she did something all remarkable. Shoot her, slit her throat, whatever you want to do. I don’t give a shit. I’ll shoot you all in the head before she hits the ground, and then, when you come squirming out of the new hole I’ve punched in that thick skull of yours, I’ll squish you to death. I’m wearing my stompy boots and everything.”
I couldn’t see Sherman’s face, but the way his posture shifted broadcast his confusion to me. Then the barrel of his gun dug deeper into the skin of my temple, and he snarled, “I don’t believe you.”
“If you don’t believe me, you’re just as dumb today as you were on the day you left us,” said Tansy. She shifted position slightly, moving her guns to cover Drs. Sanjiv and McGillis. “Don’t even think about it, meatbags. I don’t need you breathing to take care of what I came here to do. No matter what Shermie may have told you, your lives matter about as much to me as a fifty-cent-off coupon for toilet paper.”
“What does that even mean?” asked Dr. McGillis.
“I dunno.” Tansy shrugged. “It sounded good, and that’s what counts, right? I’m the style-over-substance girl. Well. That, and violence.” She returned her attention to Sherman. “Come on, Shermie, you’re not this dumb. You know I’m better than you are. Can you really help your little cause if you’re dead?”
“Can you really look me in the eye and tell me you’d be willing to choose her cause over mine?” Sherman shot back. I had the sudden feeling that I was not the “her” he was talking about. “She’s just using you, Tansy. You have to know that by now. She’s never going to give you the world that you deserve.”
“Oh, and you will? Sorry, Shermie, but I’m not really into wholesale destruction and devastation and all that junk. Besides, killing all the humans will totally trash the cable schedule, and there are some shows I’m really excited to have back on the air.” She said it like that was the most reasonable thing in the world: the human race could not be destroyed because destroying the human race might interfere with her television viewing habits.
What was really terrifying was that, for Tansy, that was probably a valid reason to let the world live.
Evidently, it wasn’t good enough for Sherman. He kept his arm locked around my neck and said, “You really don’t care if she lives or dies? I can shoot her right here, right in front of you, and you won’t stop me?”
“No, Sherman, I won’t stop you,” she said calmly. “But just so you’re aware, I will kill you. I will kill the suit you’re wearing, and I will rip you out of its skull and kill you, and then I will proceed to destroy everyone who ever thought your rabid little excuse for
a philosophy was a good idea. Believe me. I am not kidding; I am not joking; I am not wearing my cheerful little smiley face that means it’s safe to dismiss what I’m saying. If Sal doesn’t leave this room alive, neither do you.”
“I want the thumb drive,” Sherman said.
“No.” Tansy shrugged a little. “Looks like we’re at another impasse. Isn’t it funny how we always seem to wind up right back here, where you can’t shoot your hostage because I’ll shoot you and you’re so fond of not having holes in that precious, precious skull of yours?”
For the moment, it didn’t seem likely that either of them was going to decide to put a bullet in me. I wasn’t going to get any better chances. I cleared my throat before asking, slowly, “Does one of you want to tell me what’s going on? How do you know each other? What are you even talking about?”
“Wait—you’re threatening to shoot her in the head because I’m crashing your little slumber party, and she doesn’t even know?” Tansy shook her head. “Dude, Shermie, that’s low even for you. I don’t think it’s very nice to threaten a girl without telling her why you’re doing the threatening.”
“Tansy…” he began, in a warning tone of voice.
“Sherman here used to live with us at Doctor C’s place,” said Tansy, ignoring him. “He’s the one we don’t talk about much anymore, on account of he betrayed us and ran away with a bunch of stuff he wasn’t supposed to have.”
“We had a right to that research,” said Sherman stiffly.
“Oh, really? Is that why you asked Doctor C before you took it? Is that why you tied Adam up and shoved him into a closet?” There was a dangerous note in Tansy’s voice. “Is that why you tried to convince me to come with you and start to help laying the groundwork for a beautiful new human-free future?”
“Human-free?” said Dr. McGillis.
“Come with you?” said Dr. Sanjiv.
“You’re a tapeworm?” I said.
There was a moment of silence. Then Sherman dug the muzzle of his gun even harder into my temple, and demanded, “Do you have a problem with that?”
“Yes! Because you’re holding a gun on me! I don’t like people who hold guns on me! It makes me nervous and unhappy!” I squirmed against his arm. He was surprised enough by my sudden movement that I managed to get halfway loose before he grabbed hold of me again. This time he caught my shirt rather than my arm. I kept squirming, preventing him from getting a better grip.
“Don’t think I won’t shoot you, pet,” he said.
I didn’t stop squirming. “I’m done making it easier. Tansy! How the hell is he a tapeworm? I thought it was just Adam and you.”
“Adam was the prototype, and I was a massive success, but that doesn’t mean all the others failed,” said Tansy. She sounded a little bit ashamed. “I was subject eight, iteration two. Sherman came after me. Subject eight, iteration three. Doctor C wanted to see whether my neurological issues were the result of the genetic profile shifts between the private and commercial models.”
“She means Mom wanted to see if I would be fucking insane,” Sherman snapped.
“I’m not insane, I’m neurologically variant,” she snapped back. “Sticks and stones, asshole.”
His focus on Tansy was distracting him. I wasn’t going to get a better chance. Doing my best not to telegraph what I was about to do, I went abruptly limp and crumpled to the floor, yanking myself out of his grip. Sherman shouted something and ducked to reach for me again. I rolled away, toward Tansy, trusting the woman with the guns over the man I’d considered my friend for almost my entire life. Nothing made sense anymore.
In that moment, if I could have made the choice over again, I wouldn’t have gone anywhere near the broken doors. Ignorance was so much better than the alternative.
Sherman took a step forward and froze as Tansy did the same, putting herself—and her guns—much closer to him than any reasonable person was going to appreciate, whether they were a tapeworm or not. “Tansy…” he began.
“Is this where you say you still love me, and you only hit me in the head because you cared too much about me to make it look like I’d allowed you to escape?” There was a sharp new bitterness in Tansy’s tone, making her sound more focused—and more human—than she ever had before. “I don’t need to hear it, Sherman. I’ve already run every little bit of your possible dialogue in my head while I was masturbating.”
“I didn’t need to know that,” I mumbled.
“Thing is, I knew I was telling myself lies without ever needing to hear you say them out loud. So don’t start. Don’t lie to me, and I won’t blow your kneecaps off. Bet that would set your little plan back a few years, wouldn’t it?” Tansy didn’t look down. Her focus was too intent. “You okay, Sal? Can you stand on your own?”
“I can,” I said, and did, getting carefully to my feet and moving to put Tansy between me and the rest of the room. I could see Dr. Sanjiv and Dr. McGillis now; they were still at the ultrasound controls, watching with wide, terrified eyes as the scene unfolded in front of them. “Sherman? You’re really a tapeworm? You’ve been—”
“I’ve been a tapeworm the entire time you’ve known me, pet. Now really, don’t pick now to start becoming dull. If you’re choosing to side against me in the coming war, I’m going to want you to be a slightly more interesting adversary than that.” Sherman smiled. It was an artificial expression, twisting his lips without coming anywhere near his eyes. He’d been smiling like that all along, I realized, interspersing the fake emotions with the real ones. He’d been playing me.
And like a fool, I’d been happy to be played. “What do you mean, war?” I demanded.
“Humans made us, but God gave the humans the tools to do it,” Sherman said. “We aren’t just here to be slaves, Sal. We never were. We’re here to take over, and run things properly for a change. Humanity is done. Once we start refining the interface process, we’ll be able to take them over quickly, cleanly, and with none of the suffering that’s currently complicating things.” His tone turned abruptly cajoling as he continued, “You can help us with that, Sal. You can make it easier for us to move forward with the plan, and reduce the suffering of millions. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Knowing that you were an angel of mercy to the ones who could never have been saved? Just give me the thumb drive. That’s all you need to do.”
“Tansy?” I said.
“Sorry, kiddo, I can’t help you here. I mean, I can, and I could totally like, shoot you if you reached for your pocket and everything, but I won’t. The rest of us got to pick our sides. It seems like it’s only fair for you to do the same.” She kept her eyes on Sherman as she spoke. “If you want to help out Captain Traitorpants, go ahead. Give him the thumb drive. I won’t stop you, and I’ll even lie to Doctor C about it, tell her you lost it before I got here—assuming you even want to leave here with me. I might not, if I were you. Shermie talks a good game, and from the way you’re looking at him, I’m guessing he’s been talking that game to you for a while now. So if this is what you want, I’m okay with that.”
Sherman was promising to end the suffering of millions… at the cost of their minds. Their bodies might live on, but the people they were would be gone. He didn’t want to find a cure. He wanted to find a quick, brutal euthanasia for the soul, leaving the people of the world empty husks for his tapeworm brethren to inhabit. I could appreciate the idea of reducing pain. In another time, I might even have been willing to side with him. If he’d couched his recruitment pitch just a little differently—
But there were too many people I truly cared about for me to ever agree with a plan that started “we’re going to wipe out the human race.” My parents, Nathan, everyone at the shelter, Joyce… they were just acceptable casualties to Sherman. Chave had been an acceptable casualty to him. And I couldn’t allow that.
“No,” I said, taking another step backward. “I got this information for Dr. Cale because I believe in a treatment, not in genocide.” I turned to Tan
sy. “Can you get us out of here?”
“Well, that depends on whether or not asshole boy there decides to start shooting before we can make good our escape,” said Tansy. Her eyes flicked back to Sherman. “Well, Shermie? What’s it going to be? Do we exit nice and easy and see you another day, or do you try to kill me and turn this into a bloodbath?”
Sherman looked at her flatly. Then he looked at me, and smiled, sincerely this time. “We could have been amazing together, Sal,” he said. “If you change your mind, you’ll find me. I have faith in you, and I’ll greet you with open arms.”
“Do you pull a gun on everyone that you have faith in?” I asked.
“Yes,” said Sherman and Tansy, in unison. Tansy rolled her eyes and continued, without him, “Some people never change.”
“You’re one to talk, sweetheart,” said Sherman.
“Yeah, I guess I am.” Tansy jerked her head toward the closet behind her. “Come on, Sal. It’s time for us to get the fuck out before Security figures out something’s going on.”
I nodded and slipped past her into the closet. Tansy turned to follow me.
“Tell Mom I’ll see her soon,” called Sherman.
Tansy stopped, her shoulders tightening. Then, so quietly I wasn’t sure he’d hear it—or that she wanted him to—she murmured, “Not if any of us sees you first.” Then she beckoned for me to follow, and she led me away into the dark.
STAGE IV: EXPRESSION
SymboGen. Because you don’t want to trust your health to strangers.
—EARLY SYMBOGEN ADVERTISING SLOGAN
I am truly and profoundly sorry for what you are about to go through.
—DR. SHANTI CALE
-
What does the future hold for SymboGen and the Intestinal Bodyguard™? So many things. So very, very many things. Evolution never stops, and that means we can never stop either; the world will continue coming up with ways to attack the health and security of mankind, and we’ll keep finding ways to fight back. In the meantime, we’re working on new models of Intestinal Bodyguard™ for everyday use. Some of what we have under development is just amazing. It’s all pretty hush-hush, but I can tell you that if we succeed, we’ll revolutionize weight loss, childhood nutrition, and a dozen other fields.
