“Oh, come on guys. Grow a pair.”
Laughing Abby jumped up, “I’ll stay with my wine too. But I gladly act as pourer and score-keeper, though. Or the nurse, depending.”
“Accepted.”
In the end Joshua and Matt were the only ones brave enough. Thank God. Lillian almost sighed with relief.
“Let’s line them up.” Abby rushed into the kitchen to get the glasses and salt.
Sam’s eyes shot up when she got back. “You got shot glasses in your kitchen? Damn, guess we got the wrong safe house.”
The table was cleared and twelve glasses, four each, were lined up as Lillian shook her head and explained with a smile, “A good, well-functioning guard always has tequila and shot glasses in the trunk of their car.” She sat down on the floor, crossing her legs Indian style.
“Yeah, well, and they were on sale.” Abby winked at her.
“That too.” They laughed. “Now, let’s get started.”
Lillian sitting at the end of the table with Joshua at her right and Matt on her left and on the couch, looked directly into their eyes knowing a wicked gleam of challenge lit up her own.
Abby poured. Salt was passed around and licked.
Lillian downed her glass. Fire hit her belly and she relished the pain, as it for one peaceful moment masked the one in her heart. She definitely needed more of that.
At shot number eight Lillian watched as Matt slid like water off the couch and onto the floor.
Abby bit her lip to keep from cracking up. “You okay?”
“I’m ‘kay. Still ‘ere.” His eyes were glassy and rolling around as he tried to focus on the table in front of him, his brain obviously not catching up with the sudden change of perspective.
“Ready for round three?” Abby asked the guys, already pouring shot number nine for Lillian. Ah, her friend knew her too damn well, she thought.
Joshua slowly nodded, his eyes flicking to Lillian. He winked at her and a beautiful smile curved his lips, one that made his eyes glow.
A fluttering rustle and suddenly Raz stood in the room, dressed in dark jeans and shirt and a navy pea coat now that looked entirely too good on his shoulders. Hands buried in the pockets of his coat he looked straight at her from across the table. His brow furrowed as his gaze wandered, taking in the room, resting on the bottles and the glasses before coming back to find hers.
How was it possible that one look hit her stronger than the tequila ever would?
Never breaking the contact Lillian leisurely licked salt off her hand and felt a shot of pleasure searing her veins as Raz’s gaze dropped to her mouth. Smirking she raised her shot in a silent salute before knocking it back smooth.
Her voice low and slow from the tequila, she asked, “Wanna join?”
Lillian could feel her guard’s nervousness to his presence change into curiosity. They weren’t sure what to make of the two of them, since she had been rather tight-lipped about what had happened earlier outside.
“What are you doing?”
Joshua started laughing like a loon, almost smashing his head against the table before wiping his eyes and looking at the angel. “What does it look like? Shots obviously.” He winked at Lillian again, before drinking his shot down.
Abby held up the bottle. “Wanna give it a try?”
Raz’s eyes flicked from Lillian to Joshua and back again. He pulled off his coat and threw it over the arm rest of the couch, the muscles in his arms and shoulders flexing. “Okay.”
During their exchange Matt had keeled over. When he started to snore Abby snickered but her gaze was soft. “And he’s out.” To Raz she added, “You mind using his glasses?”
“Go ahead.” Raz sat down on the floor as well, at the end of the table so he faced Lillian. Gesturing with his chin towards Matt, he asked, “How many did you have?”
Lillian tapped her empty glass. “This was number nine.”
Nodding, Raz lifted his and saluted her before downing it without a blink. Licking his lips, he cocked his head. “Nice. But it seems I have some catching up to do.” With that said he knocked back the rest of them, while motioning for Abby to start pouring the next round. Joshua was outright staring now, while Lillian couldn’t help but smile.
“So what’s the point of this anyway?”
“Besides getting drunk? To last.” Abby paused pouring to looked at him in astonishment, one hand on her hip. “You’ve really never done this before?”
“No.”
“But you do drink so…”
“Alone, sure, but never like this.”
Eyes wide and incredulity written all over his face, Sam almost sputtered, “How old are you again?”
“I’ve existed…a long time. You’d call it forever I guess.” He slammed down his empty glass, number nine. Locking eyes with Lillian he raised the next, “Bottom’s up.”
“Forever without drinking shots?” Joshua snorted and hiccupped, “What kind of forever’s that?”
A lonely one, Lillian thought.
“Yes, some times.”
Oh. She hadn’t realized she had said that out loud.
His fierce gaze held hers, even when Joshua gave up and Abby announced the head-to-head. Those gray eyes of his pierced her and made her want to swallow, made her want to run away from the longing she saw there. Probably just imaging it, Lillian told herself. That’s the tequila you’re seeing nothing else.
In a desperate attempt to stop from falling into those smoky eyes, she shrugged and hoped she managed a casual face. “Well, I for one gladly take my mockingly short but thankfully tequila-flavored Ivory years over your forever.” Knocking back shot number twelve, she was glad to break eye-contact.
But those gray eyes persisted. “You wouldn’t like to live forever?”
“Apparently nothing’s forever, even angels.”
The temperature in the room suddenly plummeted and Abby jumped up, waving an empty bottle like a white flag. “Dammit, we’re out of booze! Seems it’s a draw, ladies and gentlemen.” Laughing she leaned down towards Lillian, “You still able to move those feet of yours? We haven’t danced this whole evening.”
Already moving to the pulse of the beat she pulled Lillian to her feet. With the tequila running through her veins, it was easy for Lillian to follow suit. Arms in the air, her hips moving, Lillian just let go. Her hair was loose, ruffled, barely brushing her shoulders, and for one moment she regretted not to be able to feel the length and weight of it at her back.
From over Abby’s shoulder she could see Sam coming up from behind. Abby closed her eyes in sweet surrender as his hands settled on her hips. Lillian smiled secretly, turning slightly away to leave them in their own cocoon.
Enjoying the heat of her body, she closed her eyes. Alone in her head, free with the music. When she opened them, she was his captive once more, getting lost in hot smoke. Two years had gone by and yet the connection was so easy, so frighteningly easy. The world faded away and it was just the two of them. Longing gripped the bars of its prison, rattling her heart.
Lillian faltered as an unfamiliar heat seeped into her from behind. Looking over her shoulder she saw Joshua there. She hadn’t noticed him moving, too transfixed on Raz. Regretting the broken moment and yet glad it had been interrupted, she turned around to dance with him. The pang in her heart which wished for someone else to hold her like this was enough of a wake-up call. Raz meant pain and she would do well to remember that if she didn’t want to have another taste of it.
Joshua’s smile was flirting and inviting, and yet she knew there was nothing to worry about. They knew each other well and she was safe with him. Flirting was second nature to him, especially when drunk, but in the end it meant nothing. No harm done.
When his eyes flicked over her shoulder to where Raz sat, she even wondered whether he might know her too well. At the conspiratorial glint in his eyes a flicker of mischievous pleasure shot through her, making her lips curve. The little wink that followed before he put his
hands on her hips, confirmed her suspicion. Pulling her closer, but not too close, they started moving together. And Lillian admittedly enjoyed the thrill of seeing Raz’s eyes narrowing, darkening as he watched her.
After two songs Lillian needed some fresh air, the pulse of the music and the booze making her heart throb hard in her chest. She went out on the porch, down the steps and onto the stretch of untended lawn behind the house. There was a small shed a little to the side of her that had probably served as a garage once but was now too unstable and maybe a size too small after the last hurricane had toyed with it to be used as such. Forgotten, unused, alone in the darkness - for one sad moment it reminded her of her heart.
The night sky stretched above her like an endless diamante covered canopy that not even the lights of the city could rival with.
She sensed him like the caress of a warm breeze along her skin before he spoke. “Things have changed.”
Lillian braced herself before turning around to face him.
She looked like a dream, with the night as her coat, and for a moment Raz wasn’t sure whether this was real, whether he was really standing right in front of her. But it was, because in his dreams it sure as hell weren’t Joshua’s hands touching her.
Crossing her arms over her middle, she frowned at him, “What do you mean?”
“You didn’t used to be that…unprofessional.”
Her frown darkened, deepened. “Unprofessional?” She spoke the word as if trying it out for the first time and not liking its taste.
His jaw clenched as he remembered her knocking back those shots – fearless and without hesitation, the way she tackled life as well. He knew some humans spoke of sparks going off, but that thing between them was no spark, it was a damn bomb that ripped him from the inside out whenever their eyes met. He would have loved nothing more than to taste those tequila-flavored lips. And then she had gone off and danced with Joshua. Danced, he almost snorted. Such a tame word for what they had done. It had taken all of his control to stay where he was and to not stomp over and pin the Ivory to the wall. Seeing her move in those tight black jeans of hers, her short hair tousled as if from a lover’s hands...he swallowed. “The drinking and dancing. The thing between Joshua and you.”
Her jaw very nearly hit the ground but in the next blink of an eye he could almost see the anger flooding her. “What the hell…” Realization sparked in her eyes before they narrowed on him, almost making him want to back away.
Shit, she knew. His jaw clenched tight so hard he was probably about to crush his own teeth. As a man he hated to admit, even if only to himself, that he was jealous. As an angel who wasn’t supposed to feel, he was fascinated by the emotion. At moments a healthy dose of it was an eye-opener, making him realize what he had been trying to ignore. At others it made him downright homicidal and lose all angelic compassion he possessed.
“Are you out of your fucking mind? After two years … Isn’t it enough to suspect me of murder? Now you dare criticize me, my life, the way I live it?” That got a harsh laugh out of Lillian. “Worst of all, you dare stake a claim which you forsook two damn years ago? Really, Raz?” On a roll now, she threw up her arms, “What? You think I’ve snuggled up all alone in my sleeping bag for fucking two years. I’ve become an Ivory not a nun as far as I know.”
Yeah, his teeth were dust. Raz’s eyes darkened even more, making granite look soft. He took a step towards her, closing in like a predator after his prey. “Just like the others. You think I’m a coward. You really think I went away to save myself? Well, think again, stargazer, I did it to save you!”
“What are you talking about?”
They were nose to nose now. “You’re an Ivory. Destined to fight for the greater good before claiming your place in heaven and to finally know some peace. But for that to happen the same hands-off rules that apply to me apply to you.” He tsked, “Seducing an angel, making him fall? That’s asking for a one way ticket straight to hell.”
Lillian didn’t back down as he had imagined she would. “In all that bullshit you’ve got one thing right. Yeah, I’m an Ivory, Raz. With a damn short life span, remember? I don’t give a fuck about heaven and hell. What I give a fuck about is the here and now, about my life. I care about every minute I’m living.” Her voice gained a dangerous edge as she stepped even closer. “You didn’t just take away a decision that wasn’t yours to make, but over a million minutes of my life! A million minutes we could have spent giving it a try. A million minutes we could have been together. A million minutes we could have gone at it like bunnies for God’s sake.”
Her words tore through him, through his heart. Whereas his mind only latched onto one single word. Bunnies. The word painting the image so easily and smoothly. And calling up a storm of heat inside of him that was anything but easy and smooth.
Lillian was a hurting, aching mess as she threw her heart at him, cut open so he could look inside and understand. Now he looked at her with an intensity that made her body burst in flames. And then he was on her, his body pressing into her, surrounding her, as his mouth came crashing down on hers. With a groan he dove deep.
She had tried hooking up with others, twice. The first time a month after he had gone, anger driving her, and the second and last time about seven months ago when loneliness and alcohol had hit full force. Both times her heart and her body hadn’t been on board and even the slightest lick of arousal had been nothing more than a dream, a distant memory. One would think that after all this time, with all the shit that was going on, with all the shit he was throwing her way that things would have changed, but her body clearly had a mind of its own.
The moment they touched, lightning struck and shot right to her heart. Her blood sang and she almost whimpered, from the aching and longing inside of her, from the heat, but most of all from the relief. Rousing her from deep sleep. Breaking her out of the numb prison she hadn’t even realized she had been stuck in.
She hadn’t noticed their little dance of wills had brought them closer to the shed until her back hit its wooden wall.
No fumbling, no hesitation, but sheer determination and mindless desire. Raz’s body pressed against hers, scorching her; his scent so familiar and so missed, teasing her. Need and hope burst like a sunrise, awakening her body and heart.
One hand fisted in her hair, cradling her close and changing the angle of their kiss so they could explore more deeply, more fully, using their tongues and teeth and everything they hadn’t allowed themselves to feel. His other hand roamed her body, cupping her breast before trailing down her waist, leaving a trail of burning ecstasy dancing along her skin.
Not only her heart but also her senses were overloaded and yet everything was crystal clear. Every taste, every touch, every moan magnified. His mouth kissed a path along her jaw, aiming for that spot right below her ear. A lick of his tongue and her whole body trembled.
Lillian had been dreaming of this for two years, had been hungering for it, and now… Now was not the time, something inside her screamed. When reality flickered at the sides of her mind, she grabbed it like a lifeline. She knew she had to push away. There were so many things wrong about this. Her being drunk and hurt wasn’t even the worst of it all. Raz suspected her of killing an angel. Her blood cooled down immediately at the harsh reminder.
She broke away at the same time as Raz stepped back. For a moment she wondered about his move, already missing his touch, but then she inwardly shook herself. It was better this way.
Both panting, their gasps for breath loud in the calm of the night, Lillian couldn’t look at him. What would she see in his eyes? Regret or hunger? The first would cut her more than anything else, while the other would be impossible to resist. Without another glance or word she stepped around him and headed back inside, hoping like hell it didn’t look like the desperate escape it was. They were both good at that, weren’t they?
TWENTY-ONE
Lillian could feel Abby’s eyes on her the moment she woke up. Her eyes
still closed, she smiled. She knew Abby was on her stomach, braced on her elbows, curiosity pouring out of her and stirring Lillian as effectively as if she had reached out with her hands to shake Lillian out of sleep.
“I’m awake. Go ahead.”
“So…Raz is back?”
“Apparently.”
“How do you feel about that?”
Lillian opened her eyes, rolling her head to the side to look at her friend. “You do realize you sound like a therapist, don’t you?”
Abby simply stared back at her, one sharp eyebrow lifting, and that was all it took. “And do you realize what a bad attempt at distracting from the juicy stuff that was?”
Lillian sat up slightly, bracing herself on one elbow and then sighed. “I have no idea how I feel, okay. I’m angry, I’m thrilled, I’m hurt. I’m torn up.”
“He looks good.”
Groaning, Lillian fell back onto her back. “So not helping, Abby.”
“Sorry. Just saying.”
“He tastes even better.”
Abby’s eyes went wide. “Whoa…what did I miss?”
Lillian’s mind replayed the scene over and over again in her head. She had even dreamt about it – albeit with a different ending. Dammit. “Raz and I almost dry humping it against the wall of the shed last night.”
“Wow…I’m amazed the thing still stands.”
Lillian couldn’t help it. The bubble of laughter burst out, immediately taking some of the weight off her chest. That’s why she loved this girl. Her ability to take people’s mind off things, to make them relax when they think it impossible, was an amazing gift. “Thanks for that.”
“You’re welcome.” Her smile dimmed. “Seriously now, what the hell’s up with that angel you supposedly killed?”
“No clue. But apparently a lot of the evidence points to me.” Lillian didn’t speak for a while and then shrugged before looking at Abby, not even trying to hide the helplessness probably showing in her eyes. “I don’t know what to do. He believes I did it, Abby. He’s here to save his ass, to make sure…I don’t know, that me killing the angel wasn’t his mistake or something.”
Ivory Guard Page 18
