by A. m Madden
“Please make sure he’s gone.”
Reed pushed a button on his phone and said, “Can you make sure Mr. Cavello has left the building.”
My body shook uncontrollably as I waited for confirmation that he was no longer here. “Okay, he left,” Reed said as he hung up the phone.
“I need to go.”
“Maygen, come stay with us until your dad gets back. Phoebe will be there for you; you shouldn’t be alone.”
“No. I need to be alone. I don’t want to see anyone.” I grabbed my coat and bag as he walked toward the door in a final attempt to stop me.
“Then let me come with you to ensure you get home okay.”
“No, Warren can take me. I appreciate you looking out for me, Reed. But I can take care of myself. This is all a result of my father’s warped need to protect me like a child, and right now I just want to be left alone.”
Chapter 23
David
When George recommended me to his brother, the last thing I wanted was to spend my time babysitting a modern-day princess. The only thing that made it sweeter was the pay. Until I met her, and fuck if everything had changed the day I met her.
I needed to explain that though it may have started as a job, it became something else. And I had planned to tell her that. I actually tried to once before but chickened out. I needed more time. Not only to get to know her better, but more for her to get to know me. This David she’d been with was not the same David who met with her father weeks ago. I myself was slowly getting to know the new David. He was a stranger and I had no idea how to relate to him.
I heard her key in the lock and stood in preparation for a fight.
The moment the door flew open, she gasped and held her chest. “How did you get in?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes it does.” She held the door open. “Get out.”
“After you hear me out I’ll leave because I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It’s too late for that.”
“You owe me a chance to explain myself.”
“I owe you?” she asked incredulously. “That’s actually funny.”
“Please.”
A battle ensued within her. I could see her debating whether she should let me speak or not. “You have five minutes.” She slammed the door shut, but leaned against it while still wearing her coat.
“I was going to tell you,” I began pathetically.
“You were? When? One night when you had your cock buried balls-deep in me? Or possibly while I sucked you off?” I flinched at her words. She noticed and folded her arms defiantly. “Would those have been good times to tell me you were being paid to be with me?”
“No one was paying me to be with you. I was with you because I wanted to be.”
“Empty words.” From across the room I could see the first tears shimmering in her eyes. I took a few steps closer before she thrust a hand out. “Stop. Just say what you have to say.”
“I met with your dad for the first time the day before I ran into you on the street. George introduced us at FBI headquarters. He showed me the pictures and said there was nothing else in the envelope, not a note or explanation of any kind. George had the photos dusted for prints, but they came up clean. Your dad was beside himself. George said maybe it was a jilted boyfriend, and until we knew more we should keep it to ourselves. The objective was for me to keep an eye on you.”
“An eye on me? When exactly were you on the Maygen babysitting detail? Where were you when I was at work, or here sleeping?”
I gripped the back of my neck, stalling for a few moments of time. Telling her I wasn’t the only one on Daddy’s payroll would probably send her into a tailspin. But, if this was my chance to tell her everything, I needed to be completely honest.
“Your time is running out,” she prompted.
“When you weren’t at work and on weekends.”
“What if I left for a meeting, or to grab lunch?”
“I was immediately told. Your dad had a team of us working together. I was the main contact, so you were always being watched.”
She closed her eyes as if each and every word out of my mouth, every syllable, was literally causing her pain.
“Who else was in on this?” she whispered when her eyelids slowly slid open. The more I looked into those pale blue eyes the more the stabbing sensation in my chest spread. It easily rivaled and was no less crushing than what I felt the day Barry was killed. The difference was, this pain that I felt deep in my soul was worse because I was causing her pain. I was responsible for the hurt she felt. In reality, I had pulled the trigger.
I swallowed hard, trying desperately to dislodge the lump in my throat. “Ray, the security guard in your office building.”
“And?”
“Felix downstairs, and your dad’s driver, Warren. They all needed to text me when you came or went.”
“Jesus Christ. Was the day we met staged?”
“Yes.”
“And you knew I wasn’t making lunch that day?”
“Yes. When you didn’t show, Warren explained where you were.”
The expression on her face morphed from one of hurt and pain to one of disgust. Her hands flew over the buttons of her coat before she yanked it off and threw it on a chair.
“For the past six weeks I’ve been a laughingstock. The day we ran into each other at the park, Eve’s party, all of it was planned? Did you all get together over coffee to discuss the poor little rich girl whose daddy put half of Manhattan on his payroll? Did you win the lottery on which of you got to fuck me?”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“Like what? It’s the truth, isn’t it?”
I slowly walked toward her but she took a step back. “Maygen, I wasn’t on your father’s payroll. Ask him. In fact, Reed probably knows the same. For fuck’s sake, I never cashed those checks! The one and only one I cashed was dated the day before I met you.”
“Aw, isn’t that noble of you?” She slammed her hands into my chest. “Big fucking deal! You took them, didn’t you? Possibly waiting to see how good of a fuck I was?”
“Stop it.”
“No!”
“The night of the holiday party I told your father I quit. I told him to stop sending me those fucking checks. I told him I was going to tell you.”
Her mouth opened in shock. “That was weeks after we met. All those things you did to me that night, and me to you? Was it to spite my father?” She shook her head in disgust. “That night after the party, when you fucked me, was it to get back at Daddy?”
“I didn’t want to! I tried to walk away, to spare you.”
“But you didn’t, did you? The only thing I asked of you, David, was honesty. The one thing, and you couldn’t give that to me.”
“I tried. Even that night I tried to tell you there was so much more you didn’t know about me. I said there was more to tell. Your father asked me to wait.”
“I thought you were referring to your PTSD, David.”
“I told you to trust my words. I told you to promise me that if you were done then you’d have to run because it was the only way I could let you go. I was just trying to warn you….”
“What you were trying to do was get your fill before Daddy cut you off.”
“No, goddamnit. I was trying to walk away, to protect you but I couldn’t!”
“Ah, there’s the problem. What you should have been trying was to be honest with me.” Her shoulders slumped in defeat. “I’ve heard enough. You said I needed to run from you: This is me running.” Walking over to her apartment door, she pulled it open forcefully and demanded, “Please leave.”
I walked right up to her until only a few inches separated us. I had to clench my fists at my sides to stop myself from wiping away her tears. I had to fight the urge to pull her into my arms and kiss her.
Looking down into her eyes, I whispered, “I’ll leave. You need to know one thing before I go, though. I never, eve
r meant to hurt you. Opening up and letting someone in was not something I’d done before. This was all so new and so confusing for me. I’ve been consumed with the conflict between wanting you and not deserving you…needing you and not being allowed to want to. It was never cut-and-dried for me; the complexity of my emotions was real. Whether you believe me or not, every minute I spent with you was real.”
One final tear leaked from her eyes and rolled slowly over the curve of her cheek. “It was real for me, too, or I thought so. Now it’s nothing but a lie. I trusted you, while the entire time you were being completely dishonest. You were too much of a coward to tell me the truth. You allowed me to fall for you under false pretenses. I no longer know who you are. I once thought you would never hurt me, and now you did. I can’t get past all the lies.”
There was nothing more I could say to her; the damage was done. I tried to hold her gaze but failed when she looked away. Being a coward was never something I’d been accused of. Regret over not telling her fed her accusation, making it absolutely true. She was right, I was a coward, and I walked out of her apartment as a coward.
—
I had no clue what to do with myself. Walking out her door didn’t alleviate the need to keep her safe and protect her. Obeying her demand to leave didn’t alleviate my desire for her. The only thing that had changed in the past few hours was this new crushing pain I felt in my gut.
The night of the holiday party, her father had made it very clear he wanted me to stay away from her. I blatantly refused. I admitted I was planning on telling her the truth. The only thing her dad and I agreed on was that she needed to know. But he asked me to wait. He didn’t want to ruin her holidays or leave on his trip after possibly upsetting her. We decided that once he returned, we’d tell her together. I truly believed if she had heard it straight from us, none of this would have happened.
Even after giving Garrett my word that I’d wait, the night after the party when we were in my apartment, the night I bared my soul to her, I desperately wanted to tell her the truth. Garrett’s words about ruining her holidays were what stopped me. I now regretted not telling her. I also regretted taking her that night. I should have never crossed that line until she knew the truth. I fought my urges to have her for so long. Knowing how I felt about her, knowing I was planning to lay it all on the line to be with her, completely clouded my judgment, and I fucked up.
I believed if Reed hadn’t stumbled on this information, he would have found another way to drive us apart. But finding this out was his jackpot.
My apartment felt strange. Even though she had been there only a few times, I could feel her presence. I was sure I could still smell her perfume in my room. I wasn’t able to shower without remembering all I did to her and all she did to me. The sight of my apartment door brought with it a visual of when I fucked her against it. In such a short time, Maygen had infiltrated my life and my space like some sort of chemical weapon, slowly dulling the senses before fatally claiming the victim.
Impulsively, I yanked open a kitchen drawer to retrieve an envelope that had been haunting me for weeks. Without conscious thought, I left my apartment to grab a subway downtown back to FBI headquarters. I flashed my VIP badge, waited through the metal detector line, and hopped an elevator to the seventh floor. I’d been cleared here at FBI months ago after Angela’s ex turned up dead. Once that case was closed, as Nick’s brother-in-law my presence was no longer questioned. Only today had I appreciated it, because if one person tried to stop me at that moment I’d have probably ended up in jail for assault and battery.
“Hey, handsome, did you forget something?” Marcia asked when I walked into the reception area.
“Sort of. Is he still in his office?”
“Sure is. Go ahead in.”
My first stop was Nick’s office, and it was no shock to see George there. However, they both looked up surprised to see me. I closed the door behind me, anxious to ask George any one of the million questions that rattled around my brain. Most important one, how to fix this? But I feared it wasn’t fixable. I was different to her, no longer the man she trusted. I could see the disappointment in her eyes.
“George, I was coming to see you.”
“What happened?” Nick asked, referring to my meeting with Reed.
“A fuck ton, that’s what.” I sat heavily in the chair beside George. Recounting exactly what went down at Whitney’s office, the only thing I left out was my conversation with Maygen at her place.
“Shit,” George said, running a hand through his silver hair. “Garrett texted me earlier that he was on his way home. No mention of this, though.”
“He doesn’t know all this yet. Reed claimed Maygen’s safety was more important than waiting for him to get back and explain. We were supposed to go to the Hamptons this weekend.”
George looked me straight in the eye, then paused before asking, “David, was spending time with her just part of the job?”
“No,” I responded without hesitation. “It’s never been part of the job.”
Nick gauged my expression before asking, “You okay?”
“What do you think? She wants nothing to do with me.”
“She’ll come around,” George said. “My niece has a huge heart.” Yeah, a heart I broke, I thought. “Once she realizes you did care, she’ll see things clearly.”
“I don’t think so, George. She made it very clear to stay out of her life. I’m different to her now. Besides, your brother’s little protégé was just waiting for an opportunity to ruin things for us. He assumes he knows me.”
“Reed is no different than Garrett when it comes to Maygen. After you and Garrett had words at the party, my brother vented to me, expecting me to agree with him. I didn’t, and I said you deserved a chance. I pointed out how happy she looked. Garrett can’t see past his need to protect her, especially after they lost Dana. I’ll talk to him when he gets home.”
“Don’t. Let it be.”
“Let it be? Seriously, David, you’re just going to step away?”
“Yes, Nick. That’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Nick scrubbed a hand over his face, frustration clear in the scowl he sported. “Don’t be a fucking idiot.”
“Nick, you of all people know I can’t force her to forgive me. She needs to do that on her own.”
He didn’t argue. How could he? He knew exactly what I meant when it came to forgiving someone.
I stood, having had enough. Remembering the real reason I came, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the envelope, then tossed it on Nick’s desk. “Those are all the checks he sent me, and except for the first one none have been cashed. Please give them to your brother,” I said to George. Stopping right before walking out the door, I added, “I’m still watching over her. Until you all figure out who sent those pictures. I’d appreciate it if you kept that to yourself.”
George nodded solemnly; he didn’t argue in any way.
Chapter 24
Maygen
I stared into my cup of tea with such intensity you’d think I expected answers to reveal themselves in the steaming liquid. The constant ringing of my phone from inside the kitchen drawer was driving me nuts. But the masochist in me refused to mute it. I also refused to see who kept calling me.
The quick text I sent to Betha as I made my way home explained I thought I had the flu. No doubt that probably caused Dax to panic. With the fall line’s debut in a few weeks, my boss would surely be losing it over his right-hand person going home sick in the middle of the day. Knowing Dax, he’d consider bringing everyone to my place to have his meetings. I’d have to get back to work soon, but I’d see how I felt in the morning.
I’d been desperately trying to remember a signal, some kind of hint that I’d missed along the way.
Then I thought of the park, seeing him sitting on the bench as I approached. Or even the day we met and the staged “run-in” that he probably pl
anned from start to finish. How could I believe any of it was real, genuine?
I especially thought back to the first time we were intimate, and how he adamantly refused pleasure for himself, making it all about me. That was the day he delivered a Christmas tree, and spent the night devouring me. Was that his way to lessen his guilt? He fought intimacy for so long, then the night of the party he caved. What did my father say to him that made him finally fuck me?
The thought made me nauseous. Who knew what he was thinking all those times we were together.
Probably something along the lines of, Fuck, this job is awesome.
All that time I thought the reason he’d drift off was his PTSD, when it could have been his guilt that had him pulling away.
Another chill coursed through me, forcing me to huddle lower under the thick blanket. Nothing was working to warm me. I felt so cold, a raw kind of iciness that numbed from the inside out.
My head pounded painfully from the tension of overthinking everything that had happened between us. My heart literally hurt every time I pulled in a breath, and every time I released one.
Everything hurt from the David Cavello flu.
In a daze, I heard a key in the lock and the door of my apartment being opened. I knew who it was without looking, and I couldn’t bring myself to look away from my now-cold cup of tea.
“Sweetheart.” My dad’s voice filtered over to where I sat comatose on the couch. I gulped down the lump that instantly developed in my throat. I’d known Reed would fill him in, and he would head right over the moment he and Felicia got back. I also knew there would be nothing I could say or do to stop him. My only line of defense was to prepare what I would say to him once he arrived.
Now that he was here, I had nothing to say. Even knowing my silence would probably mask my anger, I couldn’t bring myself to react to him being there.
I heard him remove his coat before he came over to sit on the coffee table facing me.
“I’m sorry,” he immediately blurted out. “I never meant for this to happen.”
Pfft, that’s what David had said. What he actually said was he never meant to hurt me.
