“I know you’re just being protective of me,” Enzo says, taking my hand on the table, “But I’m a big boy, Siena.”
“But a boy all the same,” I mutter, standing to go.
“Are you angry with me?” Enzo asks.
“You’re just becoming someone I don’t know anymore, Enzo,” I tell him, “Someone I’ve never even met.”
I stalk across the dining room, back toward Shelby and Bex. The English beauty sees me coming and lowers herself down off my stool. We cross paths at the center of the room and pause, sizing each other up.
“I’m onto you,” I tell her, “I just want you to be perfectly clear about that.”
“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about,” she says lightly.
“I don’t know why you’re dragging my brother into this mess,” I plow on, “But I swear to God, if you hurt Enzo or his career—”
“Oh relax,” she drawls, “Your brother is safe with me. Why so touchy, Siena? There are lots of other drivers on this season. Surely you of all people could learn to share Enzo?”
My blood runs hot as Shelby flashes me a quick smile and steps around me toward my brother. I watch her sway across the floor, my mind reeling madly. What the hell did she mean by that last jab? Did she just reveal to me that she’s my mystery spy, or am I just reading way too much into her cattiness?
One thing is for sure, though. Enzo taking a McClain woman out on a date changes the name of the game a bit. It’s clear to me now that the problem with me and Harrison being together isn’t an issue of McClain vs. Ferrelli, it’s all about Lazio vs. Davies. It’s my brother’s ego I have to worry about, plain and simple. But if he’s courting Shelby all of a sudden, how will he be able to make a case against me seeing Harrison? Maybe this is a blessing wrapped up in some strange, baffling disguise.
I sit down next to Bex once more and take a long sip of my drink.
“Well,” she says, “This just got a lot more interesting.”
“Tell me about it,” I say.
“Kind of pokes holes in the theory of her carrying a flame for Harrison,” Bex points out, “Maybe she’s not your blackmailer at all, huh?”
“I’m not so sure, Bex,” I say, eyeing my brother and Shelby across the room, “But whatever she is to me or Enzo, I’m going to find a way to use it to my advantage.”
“So you’re really going to do it? Tell your dad and Enzo the truth?”
“As soon as I work up the nerve,” I tell her, “There’s no reason my brother should get to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants while I sneak around. It’s time for this double standard nonsense to end.”
I may be talking tough, but the thought of coming clean still terrifies me. How can it be the right thing and yet feel so risky?
Chapter Six
Crushing News
Before I know it, the day before the Moscow Grand Prix has arrived. The preliminaries and qualifiers have all been raced, and tomorrow the race itself will go down. Tensions ran high on and off the track as the practice laps unfolded. There were no outright moments of confrontation, just a lot of icy silence. Usually, there’s an excited sort of camaraderie among drivers and teams. But for the past couple of days, things have felt very formal. Far too formal for what is, in the end, a great big sporting event.
I’ve been doing my best through the past few days not to drink in the sight of Harrison too obviously on the track. Who knows—my lovesick puppy eyes could be the final straw for our blackmailer. Anyway, we’re set to meet this evening in front of the State Museum. Then, I’ll be able to feast my eyes on him all I want. And my hands, and my mouth if we manage to find somewhere private enough...
I’m in my room, pulling together an outfit for my rendezvous with Harrison. Despite the high stakes, these illicit meet ups are sort of thrilling. It’s like one of those old movies...except of course that those always wrapped up with a happy ending. Who knows if Harrison and I will get that lucky?
Having pulled on my favorite pair of skinny jeans and loose cropped tee shirt, I weave my hair into a side braid and grab my coat. Just as I’m about to wrench my door open, it swings into my room. I jump back, surprised, as Enzo strides across the threshold. We haven’t said too much to each other since I found him schmoozing that Shelby woman, and a cool silence falls between us now.
“Where are you off to?”
“Nowhere,” I lie.
“You were heading out the door,” Enzo says.
“Did you need something?” I ask him, deflecting hard.
“I don’t,” he tells me, “But Dad wanted me to come find you. He said there’s something he wants to talk to us about.”
“Right now?” I ask, desperation gnawing at the edges of my mind.
“Yeah, right now,” Enzo says, “Seriously, Siena, where do you have to be?”
“I’m just...I was...”
“I think it might be serious,” Enzo says, shutting the door behind him, “Dad’s been acting weird as hell around me lately.”
“Actually...he’s kind of been odd to me too,” I say, crossing my arms.
“Well, we should go hear him out,” Enzo says, “If you can spare a moment, of course.”
“Don’t be an asshole,” I say, brushing past my brother and yanking open the door. Whatever Dad has to tell us, it probably won’t take too long. He’s a man of few words, that one. I’ll listen to whatever he has to say, then go and meet Harrison at long last. No problem at all.
Enzo and I step into the elevator together. I realize, as the doors slide shut, that this is the first time in weeks we’ve been truly alone together. The sudden closeness is a little startling. I glance Enzo’s way, saddened that my brother’s coming to feel more and more like a stranger to me these days.
“What’re you staring at me for?” he asks, cocking an eyebrow.
“I’m not staring,” I mutter, crossing my arms.
“You’re still mad at me, huh?” he sighs.
“Why would I be mad at you, Enzo?” I ask coolly.
“Oh, come on,” he says, “You’ve been giving me the silent treatment since you saw me with Shelby the other day.”
“Who you spend time with is your business,” I say, “I don’t presume to dictate who you sleep with, Enzo.”
“Who said anything about sleeping with her?” he grins.
“Please,” I say, rolling my eyes, “You’ve been on at least one date with her. And you’re you. So that means you’re sleeping together.”
“What a low opinion you have of me, Siena.”
“No lower of an opinion than you have of the women you date,” I shoot back.
“Rough,” Enzo says, the corners of his mouth turning down.
“I’m just a little sick of this double standard bullshit,” I say, “You go through women like Kleenex, but my love life has been policed since my first date in the eighth grade.”
“What do you want, Siena? You’re my little sister. Dad’s little girl. We’re just trying to take care of you.”
“By dictating who and what I should want?”
“By trying to keep you away from men who will hurt you.”
“Don’t you understand? When you do that, you are men who hurt me, Enzo.”
“Don’t say that,” he mutters.
“It’s the truth,” I say, “As much as it may hurt to hear it.”
“Why is this just coming up now?” Enzo asks.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’ve never had a problem with us being protective before. Why is it suddenly some big deal?”
“Because...Because I’m twenty-five years old, and I want to start—”
“Is there someone you have your eye on? Someone you don’t think we’d approve of?”
I stare blankly at my brother. This little meeting with my dad could be the perfect time to tell them that I’m seeing Harrison Davies. I can’t let on that I’ve already been his lover for weeks, that would ruin the timing o
f this little confession entirely.
Luckily, the elevator doors slide open just in time. I hurry out of the car with Enzo on my heels and turn down the hall toward Dad’s door. As we draw up in front of our father’s suite, the door swings open before us. Dad is standing there waiting, a brave smile twisting his otherwise grave expression. It’s the look he wore when he came to see me the other day, only more pronounced. What in the hell could possibly be going on here?
“Good. You’re here,” Dad says, stepping aside to let us into the room.
“Are you OK, Dad?” Enzo asks.
“Come in, have a seat,” our dad responds, evading the question entirely.
I make my way further into the room, a cold dread beginning to blossom in my gut. It’s hardly five o’clock in the afternoon, but a full bottle of whiskey stands open on the coffee table with three glasses flanking it. Whatever it is Dad wants to talk about, it’s clearly something that’s going to need liquid reinforcement. I wish I could stop time in its tracks, hold off whatever it is I’m about to hear forever.
“Breaking out the good stuff,” Enzo observes, trying to crack through the stifling tension that fills the room.
“Only the best for you two,” Dad replies, moving toward the table.
Enzo and I sit side by side on the couch as Dad pours out three generous whiskeys. He hands us each a glass and takes one for himself, raising it to us. I notice with alarm that this amber liquid sloshes slightly as his hand trembles.
“To family,” he says, his voice thick, “And mine, most of all.”
We raise our glasses to our lips in unison, and the burning warm liquid offers me a brief moment of comfort. I’m not usually one for straight liquor, but it sure hits the spot right about now. I wrap my hands around my glass, bracing myself for the worst as Dad settles into an arm chair opposite us.
“So?” Enzo says, “What is this all about, Dad?”
“I...Jesus,” Dad sighs, “You know, I had this whole speech planned out, and now it’s completely gone out of my head.”
“Did something happen with the team?” Enzo asks, “We’re all still gainfully employed and all, right?”
“Of course,” Dad laughs, “Ferrelli would never get rid of a Lazio, that’s for certain.”
A brief twinge of relief passes through me at that. For a moment, I was worried that Dad was about to call me out, tell me that he’s already learned of my affair.
“Is something going on with Mom?” I ask, casting around in the dark, “Is everything OK between you two?”
“As fine as it’s ever been,” Dad replies, “She wanted to be here for this, really. But you know how she is. She can’t even watch the races, she gets so nervous. I don’t blame her for being too upset to come now.”
“Come for what?” Enzo urges, “Come on, Dad. You’re killing us, here.”
An alarmed look passes over Dad’s face. He can’t put this off any longer. Instinctively, I grab for Enzo’s hand, all argument between us forgotten for the moment. He laces his fingers with mine, giving my hand a tight squeeze. Don’t worry, that little bit of pressure says, Whatever it is that’s about to happen, we’re going to get through it together. Dad takes a sip of his whiskey and looks up at us, eyes misty.
“There’s no easy way to begin this,” he starts, “But there’s something I haven’t told you kids that’s come to a head. I’ve uh...Well, there have been some health concerns that I may not have mentioned.”
“Health concerns? Your health?” I ask.
“Please, let me get through this,” Dad says, “The truth is, I got some news a couple of months ago that I didn’t share with you two. My doctor, he ran some tests at my physical right before the season started. I didn’t want to burden you guys, not as we were about to head into another championship. But the way things have progressed...I can’t keep you in the dark any longer. It wouldn’t be fair.”
He takes another long sip of his drink, and I join him. I’m having trouble forcing air into my lungs, and Dad hasn’t even gotten to the heart of his admission.
“What kind of tests?” Enzo asks, “What did they find?”
Dad looks up at us, looking hopeless and heartbroken. He takes a deep breath and gazes down at the hotel carpet.
“The tests...they were recommended by an oncologist,” he says, “I’d been having some symptoms, some issues.”
“They tested you for...cancer?” I ask, my voice hollow.
Dad nods wordlessly.
“And they came back—they came back—?” Enzo stutters.
“Positive,” Dad all but whispers.
The grounds seems to give way beneath me, and the foundation of my world falls away. The world grinds to a halt all around me, and every minute detail of this moment stands out in high resolution. Enzo, frozen stiff in denial and anguish, our half-empty whiskey glasses clenched in our fists, and of course my father—head bowed in sorrow. I know that this is a scene that I will remember for the rest of my life.
All at once, the world speeds back up, the sound rushes back in, and I’m flying across the room into my father’s arms. He pulls me tightly against him as I throw my arms around his shoulders, holding my tears in with all my might.
“Don’t worry Dad,” I whisper, “I know it must be scary, but we’re here for you. We’ll get you the best care possible. You’ll be able to beat it. You’re a winner, you’ll win this too.”
“Oh, Siena,” Dad says, his voice choked, “My girl...I’m afraid this is one match I’m going to have to lose.”
“What are you talking about?” Enzo asks, “You can’t just give up, Dad. What the hell are you talking about?”
“By the time they found out,” Dad says, stroking my hair, “It was already too late.”
“Slow down,” Enzo says, refusing to hear him, “Found what?”
“The tumor,” Dad says, “It started in my lungs, but it’s traveled, son. They gave me a year, tops.”
“That’s plenty of time to do something about it!” Enzo exclaims.
“No, Enzo,” Dad says, “It’s spread too far. It was inoperable by the time we knew it was there.”
“What about radiation? Chemotherapy?” I ask desperately.
“Siena, we were just about to start a season when I found out,” Dad says, “How could I have gone in for all that? Besides, none of my doctors could even guarantee that it would work. Why would I spend the last year of my life miserable, locked up in some hospital, instead of doing what I love with my children?”
“You mean you had a chance?” I ask, standing in front of my father.
“Barely,” he replies, “It was never a choice for me. This is the best treatment I could have asked for. Being on the road, watching Enzo sweep this season.”
“But you might not even see the end of it,” Enzo says, his voice choked.
“Maybe not,” Dad says, smiling sadly, “But you will. You’ll see so many more seasons too, Enzo. Both of you will. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, once you knew the truth. My entire life is wrapped up in this sport, and I want to know that the Lazio legacy will be carried on after I’m gone.”
“Of course it will be,” Enzo says furiously, “You trained me to be the best. I’ll keep on winning in the Lazio name. You have my word.”
“Thank you son,” Dad smiles, “But there’s another Lazio I want to see succeed as well. Siena, you know that I’ve become one of Ferrelli’s primary shareholders, right?”
“Of course, Dad,” I say.
“Well,” he says, taking my hands in his, “I’ve written up a new version of my will that names you the beneficiary of those shares.”
“Wh-what?” I sputter.
“When I pass away,” Dad says, “You’ll become a shareholder of Ferrelli. One of the most influential shareholders. You’ll be able to contribute to decisions, shape the sport from the top, just like you’ve been talking about. You two will keep this team on top. Hell, you’ll probably make it ten times bett
er, if you work together. I know that this doesn’t make my news any easier to hear, but I wanted you to know that you’ll be taken care of when I’m gone. Even if I can’t be here to take care of you...”
His voice cracks, rending my heart in two. I take my father’s face in his hands and plant a kiss on his deeply-lined forehead. Enzo crosses the room and stands behind Dad’s chair, laying his young hands on the older man’s shoulders. The tears finally begin to fall from all our eyes, as we stand together, silent in our overwhelming grief. For now, there are no more words. There is only our little family.
I don’t know how long we stay there together, but before I know it, the sun has set. It’s not until Enzo switches on the lights that I realize how late it’s gotten. A shock of alarm charges through me as I realize my mistake. I completely forgot about meeting Harrison at the State Museum. He must have thought I stood him up.
I have to go to him, tell him what’s happened. But how can I leave my father’s side now, and to see a man who he can’t abide? I realize all at once that I can never tell them about me and Harrison, now. I missed my opportunity to save us, to save our one shot at being together.
A fresh wave of tears washes over me as I sit with my family. All of a sudden, I find myself with far too many things to mourn the impending loss of.
Chapter Seven
Salvaging
I cradle my phone against my ear, heart hammering as the line rings endlessly. Pick up, I pray in desperation, please pick up...
I’ve only just arrived back at my own room at the Moscow hotel, after so many long, tear-soaked hours spent with my father and brother. The instant I find myself alone once more, it’s clear what I must do next. I have to talk to Harrison. I have to tell him that I didn’t mean to blow him off this afternoon, that I want nothing more than to see him. He has to know that I failed in telling my family about us, that things have taken a turn for the absolutely dire. I need his help, I need him to hold me. I just need him.
Take Me Series (COMPLETE BOX SET) Page 22
