‘Fucksake, Dean, pay attention,’ scolded Dyam. ‘Yer letting them burn.’
She pushed him out of the way, and re-arranged the two birds on the fire. Dean sat down, misery darkening his young features.
‘Do you want to get some practice in?’ asked Laodoc. ‘There’s no one about to see.’
Dean shook his head.
‘I wanted to say,’ Laodoc went on, ‘what a good job you did with burning those looters’ wagons.’
Lola snorted, as Dean’s face went red.
Laodoc raised an eyebrow.
‘I set them alight,’ Lola said. ‘He froze.’
Dean’s face twisted into a snarl. He leapt to his feet and ran off through the trees next to where they had camped.
Dyam gave Lola a look.
‘Ye need to stop mothering him,’ the Lach hunter said. ‘The laddie needs to toughen the fuck up. Ye all do. Apart from Agang, yer all falling to pieces.’
The others said nothing. Laodoc knew that Lola had lost more than just a fellow hunter in Bonnie, but she seemed to be able to put her grief aside and stay focussed on doing her job. Dyam poked at the fire, her pale blonde hair untidy and unwashed. To his left Agang looked his usual composed self, somehow managing to appear smart and clean despite the hardships they had experienced walking for long days through barren valleys and up rocky slopes.
‘We’ll have time to recover once we get to Silverstream,’ the Sanang man said. ‘We can rest and heal our wounds there.’
Dyam looked up. ‘Food’s ready.’
She took the birds off the fire, and used a knife to slice the meat into a row of bowls. Laodoc picked one up.
‘I’ll see if Bridget wants any.’
Dyam nodded.
He got to his feet, his walking stick in his left hand, and climbed the dusty slope to where Bridget sat on a large boulder. She was looking up at the great mass of mountains to the west. He sat down next to her, the bowl of warm food resting on his lap.
‘Snow,’ she said.
Laodoc gazed up, and noticed the white peaks through the clouds in the distance.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘The highest summits of the Grey Mountains can get snow, even before winter has begun.’ He smiled. ‘Not far to go, Bridget. Today, maybe.’ He held out the bowl. ‘I’ve brought you some food.’
She glanced at it.
‘How long’s it been?’
Laodoc frowned. ‘What?’
‘Since Bedig died.’
‘Twenty-five days.’
She nodded, her eyes returning to gaze at the mountains.
‘Are you hungry?’ he said.
She shook her head.
‘You should eat. I’ll share it with you.’
‘I don’t want it.’
‘Is there anything I can do to help?’
‘I just want to get to Silverstream,’ she said. ‘And then sleep. For a long time. Maybe if I’m lucky, I won’t wake up again.’
Laodoc remembered how he had felt after Simiona’s death, and said nothing.
‘I wish Killop was here,’ she said after a while. ‘I miss him. For so many years we were closer than I’ve ever been to anyone, it was like we shared the same thoughts. He knew everything about me, and I knew everything about him. He was my brother. When he left it felt worse than it did when I lost my real sisters in the war. I want to talk to him, tell him about Bedig. He’d get it.’
‘You can talk to us,’ Laodoc said. ‘We’ve all lost somebody we loved.’
‘See?’ she said. ‘I knew you wouldn’t understand.’
Laodoc paused. He wanted to say that he did understand, and that the pain of Simiona’s death had left his emotions shredded, but he swallowed, and nodded.
‘Help me understand.’
She glared at him. ‘If Bedig had died on the battlefield,’ she said, ‘then it would have been hard to take, but easier than this.’
‘Why?’ Laodoc said. ‘He fought bravely to the end.’
‘Aye, while I was lying on the ground with an arrow in my throat. He was killed thinking I was dead. Fuck, I was dead. And then someone made the decision that my life was worth more than his, and here I am, alive again.’ She shook her head. ‘I should be dead. I don’t deserve life more than Bedig did. Why was I chosen?’ She started to cry. ‘It’s bullshit, all of it.’
‘It wasn’t like that,’ Laodoc said, his heart breaking. ‘No one knew what to do. Amid all the blood and confusion, nobody was thinking rationally. Agang had a split-second choice to make, please don’t blame him for doing what he thought best.’
‘So it was him? He left Bedig to die?’
‘And if he hadn’t?’ Laodoc said. ‘Imagine he had raised Bedig instead of you. Imagine how Bedig would be feeling right now. Would he want to go on, knowing that he had been chosen over you? Oh, Bridget, I’m so sorry, for everything. It is I who dragged you all on this journey, a “fool’s errand”, as Bonnie called it. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me.’
‘Don’t be stupid.’
Laodoc glanced at the bowl of food on his lap, his appetite gone.
He heard a whistle from the campsite below, and glanced up to see Dyam waving at them to come down. The tents were being packed up, and the fire extinguished.
‘Time to go,’ he said.
Bridget nodded, and they got to their feet.
‘You should eat that,’ Lola said when they got to the bottom of the slope.
‘I don’t want it,’ he said. ‘You have it.’
Lola shrugged, and took the bowl. She took half of the food in her hands and swallowed it down, then passed the rest to Tara.
‘We all ready?’ Agang said, gazing round the clearing. Everyone nodded, including Dean, who Laodoc noticed had re-appeared.
The Sanang man approached Tara, whose mouth was full of her second helping of breakfast.
‘Which way?’ he said, pointing.
Tara smiled, and strode off through the trees. The others followed, Laodoc leaning on his stick.
‘Just a few more miles,’ Agang said to him, picking up a heavy pack and slinging it over his broad shoulders.
Laodoc smiled, though his heart was heavy.
‘I’ll keep you company,’ Agang said.
‘Thank you, my friend.’
They followed the line of narrow forest, hemmed in between high rocky cliffs on either side. The trees towered above them, sheltering them from the cold wind that gusted down the valley. The ground was uneven, and slippery, and Laodoc felt his calves ache as they started to lag behind.
Agang glanced at him. ‘How was Bridget this morning?’
‘The same,’ he said. ‘It breaks my heart to see her in such pain. Are you sure you can’t help her, heal her mind?’
‘I can’t,’ he said. ‘I’ve told you, grieving is a natural process, I can’t interfere.’
‘You interfered with me quickly enough.’
‘All I did was temporarily fix the imbalance in your brain, to ease your depression. Bridget’s in mourning, it’s different.’
‘But there must be something you can do,’ Laodoc said. ‘The guilt she’s carrying is too much for anyone to bear.’
‘Guilt?’ Agang said, his eyes tightening. ‘I’m not sure you understand how my powers work. I can encourage a body to physically heal itself, or I can give a piece of my own life-force to bring someone back. I can’t cure guilt, my friend.’
‘So we’re just going to leave her to suffer?’
‘Keep talking to her,’ Agang said. ‘She’ll get over it eventually. We all do.’
Laodoc glanced ahead at the group. Tara and Lola were out in front, almost out of sight through the trees. The two Domm came next. Dyam was chatting to Dean, who was glowering in silence. Bridget followed them alone, her gaze fixed, but her eyes vacant. She was as thin as she had been when he had first seen her, in the cess-pit of a holding cage in the Rahain Capital, bound in chains next to Killop and Kallie.
‘What about you?’
Agang said.
‘I’m fine.’
‘You don’t have to pretend with me.’
Laodoc frowned at him. ‘I said I was fine. You may not believe it, but you’ll have to accept it. It was most certainly not an invitation for you to pry.’
Agang scowled and looked away, and they continued on in silence.
They walked for a few hours as Laodoc’s limbs grew wearier, the joints in his legs and back aching. He said nothing, refusing to be the one who called for a rest, not when Tara’s excitement was visibly growing with every step. They were close, they just had to keep going.
Agang passed him a waterskin.
Laodoc reached out to take it, but staggered forward. Agang grabbed his arm, stopping him from falling.
‘You’re pushing yourself too much,’ he said, then turned to the front. ‘Everyone! Time for a break.’
Bridget sat down on a rock, and Dyam and Dean trudged back to where Agang was supporting the old Rahain man. He lowered him onto a smooth boulder, and held the water skin to his lips.
‘I’m not a child,’ he snapped, taking the skin from Agang’s grasp.
Agang backed off.
‘It’s time for lunch anyway,’ said Dyam, pulling off her pack. ‘Dean, help me unpack whatever we’ve got left.’ Tara barged past her, heading for Laodoc. She stood in front of him, and unleashed a torrent of Rakanese in his face.
‘Enough,’ said Lola, and the young woman fell silent, but continued to glare at Laodoc.
‘Sorry, everybody,’ he said. ‘Damn these old legs.’
‘Let’s just recover our strength,’ Agang said. ‘We can get a few more miles done this afternoon.’
Lola snorted. ‘Maybe if you carry him.’
‘Look,’ said Agang, ‘I understand that you’re all frustrated, but we have to deal with the situation we’re in. We need to stick together, now more than ever. Soon we’ll be in Silverstream, a town where we won’t understand anything that people are saying, a town that’s stayed hidden for years. They’re probably going to be suspicious, and worried that the world has finally caught up with them.’
He gazed at them all.
‘We’re hoping to meet Shella there,’ he went on, ‘so remember this. The only person among us that she’s ever met before is Laodoc. This old man is the only link we have to her. To help us, he’s walked over a hundred miles through these hills. Is a little patience too much to ask?’
Lola frowned. ‘Ten minutes,’ she said, and walked off, Tara close behind.
Dyam glanced over at Agang, and smiled.
‘Thank you,’ said Laodoc.
Agang shrugged. ‘I meant what I said.’
He knelt, his hands out-stretched. ‘Now, where does it hurt?’
Their route that afternoon took them through a tight ravine, its bottom muddy and littered with fallen boulders. They scaled a long rocky slope, scrambling over the rough ground, and down into a deep valley, thick with spruce trees. Laodoc pushed himself on, Agang’s healing keeping him on his feet for hours.
As they descended the slope, Tara cried out, pointing. Laodoc glanced up, and lost his footing on the loose rocks. The ground shifted beneath his feet and he slid down the hillside, his arms flailing. His leg hit a tree trunk, and he swivelled, coming to a halt next to an great boulder. He groaned, and clenched his eyes shut, the pain in his leg excruciating. He heard footsteps close by.
‘Shit,’ said Dyam. ‘Agang, get over here.’
Laodoc opened his eyes, biting his lip to keep himself from screaming. Agang was running towards him, while Dyam knelt by his side. Agang put a hand on his leg.
‘Broken.’
Lola came into view. Behind her Tara was standing. ‘Fix him,’ said the Lach hunter.
‘I can’t,’ Agang said. ‘He’s too weak. I don’t think he’s eaten anything today. If I try to heal his leg, he’ll go into a coma, maybe worse.’
‘But you’re a fucking mage.’
‘I can only work with what I’ve got,’ Agang yelled, his eyes narrowing at Lola. ‘The body needs some reserves for my powers to work. Older people have less reserves anyway, and Laodoc’s are utterly exhausted.’ His voice lowered. ‘I’ve already healed him so many times, he has nothing left to give.’
Agang faced him. ‘But I can ease his pain.’
Laodoc felt a soothing sensation through the Sanang man’s touch, and he gasped in relief.
‘Thank you,’ he said.
‘I’ll make him a splint,’ said Dyam. ‘Dean, help me.’
‘Why do I always have to help you?’ the young mage said.
‘Don’t fucking test me,’ Dyam snarled. Dean backed away.
Tara started talking, her voice rising in an angry tirade. She kept pointing further into the forest.
‘Look,’ said Lola, ‘the lassie’s obviously desperate to get home. I reckon from the way she’s carrying on, it must be close. Maybe I should go with her. If it’s nearby, she can show me the way, and then I can come back for the rest of ye.’
‘That’s a good idea,’ said Agang. ‘We’re not going to be able to move Laodoc for a while. He needs rest and food before I can heal his leg.’
Lola swung her pack to the ground. ‘I’ll leave this here with ye.’ She turned to Tara. ‘Come on, then. Silverstream.’
Tara grinned, and the two walked off through the trees.
Laodoc lay still as Dyam prepared a splint, using an axe to pare down and trim a sturdy branch, while Dean sat watching. Agang straightened his leg, dulling his pain with every slow movement, until it lay flat.
‘How bad is it?’
‘Two breaks,’ Agang said, not looking up.
‘Could I have some water, please?’
‘Of course,’ Agang said. He folded a cloak, and slid it under Laodoc’s head to prop him up, then passed him the water skin. The old man took a drink. Dyam held the splint out against his broken leg, then removed it and began to make adjustments.
Laodoc frowned. ‘Where’s Bridget?’
Dyam glanced around. ‘Fuck. Where’s she got to?’
‘I didn’t see her come down the slope,’ Agang said.
‘Bridget!’ Dyam yelled. ‘Shit. I’d better look for her.’
She passed the splint to Agang, and stood. ‘Dean, come with me, help me look.’
The young mage grunted and got to his feet.
‘You go that way,’ she pointed, and they split up, each taking a separate route back up the rocky hillside.
‘I hope she’s all right,’ Laodoc said, as Agang started to strap the splint to his leg.
‘Just focus on staying still,’ Agang said, leaning over to tighten the straps. ‘Right, the splint’s on. How’s the pain?’
‘Bearable.’
Agang slumped back against a tree. He opened Lola’s pack, and pulled out a cloth package. He unwrapped it, and offered Laodoc a greasy strip of dried pork. He took one for himself and started chewing.
Laodoc stared at the piece of gristle, and laid it down.
‘No,’ Agang said. ‘You have to eat. If you don’t, I won’t be able to heal you.’
The Rahain man picked it up, closed his eyes, and took a bite. A wave of nausea washed over him, but he swallowed, and managed to keep it down. He raised it to his mouth again, then stopped, as a piercing cry rang out over the hillside, echoing off the other side of the valley.
Agang sprang to his feet, his hand on the hilt of his sword, and gazed around.
‘It came from where Dean was headed,’ he said, turning to Laodoc.
‘You’d better go.’
Agang frowned, his eyes darting between Laodoc and the hillside.
‘I’ll be back as soon as I can,’ he said, and sprinted up the hill.
Laodoc watched him leave, and took another bite.
A voice hissed at him in a foreign language.
He turned, and saw two Rakanese approach, each aiming a Rahain-made crossbow at him. They glared at him with venom in their eyes. O
ne of them shouted at him, and he picked out ‘Rahain’ among the stream of words.
Laodoc dropped the strip of pork and raised his hands.
One of the Rakanese lifted his crossbow and took aim.
There was a blur of movement and Bridget appeared, running out from the cover of the trees. She grasped the crossbow and ripped it out of the hands of the Rakanese, then shoved him to the ground. She then punched the other Rakanese in the face before she could raise her weapon, and sent her flying into the undergrowth.
‘Behind you,’ Laodoc said, as the male Rakanese got back to his feet, a knife in his hand.
Bridget turned, a look of rage on her face. The two began to pace round in a circle, each staring at the other. Bridget was unarmed, but stood a good foot and a half taller than the Rakanese with the knife.
‘We’re looking for Shella,’ Laodoc cried. ‘Shellakanawara.’
The man’s eyes glanced towards him, and Bridget leapt forwards. She gripped the man’s wrist and squeezed. He yelled out in pain and dropped the knife. There was a crashing noise of sliding rocks, and Dyam stumbled down the hill.
She gazed at the two Rakanese. Bridget was still grasping onto the man’s arm, and was forcing him down to his knees. Dyam picked up his crossbow.
‘Let him go,’ said Laodoc to Bridget.
‘He was going to kill you.’
‘I know, but you stopped him. Let him go, Bridget.’
She released the man. He raced off ten yards, then turned, and hurried back to where his companion lay in the undergrowth. He reached her side and crouched down.
‘We need to go,’ said Bridget.
‘How?’ Dyam said. ‘Laodoc can’t walk.’
‘I’ll carry him.’
The Magelands Box Set Page 172
