It wasn’t surprising that she’d screwed up so much; after all, the first few days had been an overwhelming blur of names and faces. People she didn’t know hugged her and patted her like they’d know her for years, and while it had made her feel good, it was more stimulation than she was used to.
At times she longed for the quiet of her rooms at the mansion, for a place where she could be alone. But then she’d remember what that loneliness could be like, how heavy it could become, and knew that she didn’t want to go back there. She knew that in time, she’d get used to the hustle and bustle of life in Gypsum Creek, but right now it was overwhelming.
It felt like she was trapped between two worlds, one long gone and never to be found again, the other foreign and frightening in its immensity. She felt the tears welling in her eyes; she’d been fighting them for days, willing them away every time she messed up or said something stupid.
But sitting there alone in the quiet of the forest, she let them come, let the emotions that had been building flow out of her. Soon, she was sobbing, wishing that there was someone she could pour her heart out to, someone who would understand how it felt not to belong where you were supposed to.
Chapter Six
***Gabriel***
He’d been sitting under the tree watching Bethany for a long time, but when he saw her begin to cry it became clear he couldn’t stay hidden any longer. It had only been a little over a week since he’d left her, but it felt far longer than that.
His attempt to rejoin his old pack had failed in only a matter of days; he just couldn’t find contentment with them the way he once had. It hadn’t worked to roam the mountains hunting on his own either, and when he’d come across another pack of wolves he knew, even they couldn’t distract him.
All he could think about was Bethany, her innocence, her enthusiasm, but most of all, her smile. There were other thoughts mixed in there as well, thoughts he’d never had in his life, and they’d come with feelings he’d never experienced before. A tingling and tightening deep inside him that was like the instinctual lust he occasionally felt, but deeper.
So, he’d come back, only hoping to get a glimpse of her as she lived her very normal human life. But seeing her crying, he couldn’t stay hidden, couldn’t let her cry there all alone. Stepping out of the trees, he said her name very quietly, trying not to startle her.
When she looked up and saw him, she managed a smile between sobs, and he wanted to laugh. He came over and sat down next to her, looked up at her and asked, “Why are you crying?”
Bethany looked down and him, the sobs beginning to fade. “I’m okay, it’s just been a really long week,” she said, then reached out and put her hand on his head. She wiped her nose with the sleeve of the other arm, then managed a smile. “I was just indulging myself with a good cry.”
“Did it help?” he asked, his voice teasing.
“Not as much as seeing you,” she said, then sighed and stroked his head.
Gabriel felt a new kind of warmth spread through him. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, hoping she’d confide in him.
Bethany sighed and slipped off the bench to sit next to him on the ground and leaning up against him, making his heart leap at the contact. When she launched into her tale of the terrible week she’d had, he tried to listen, but all he could think about was how close she was and how good she smelled.
Ashamed of himself, he finally managed to pay attention just as she said, “I feel like I’m stuck between two worlds and that sometimes it might be easier just to go back to the old one, but then I realize that it’s gone, that I can’t ever go home.”
It took him a second to respond, her words so close to what he felt every day. Finally, though he said, “I understand, Bethany. I’m stuck between two worlds too; there was a time when I was happy living my life as a wolf, but that’s become harder and harder,” he said, saying out loud what he’d never said to anyone before.
Bethany was quiet for a long time. “We’re more alike than I thought. I’m sorry you’re not happy, Gabriel; it must be hard to live like you do.”
“It didn’t use to be, but...” he trailed off, unable to tell her that since he’d met her, he wanted a normal life more than ever. Instead, he changed the subject. “I have an idea: tell your brother that you’re going camping, get away from the world for a little while.”
Bethany pulled away and looked at him. “I don’t know anything about camping.”
“But I do,” he said, hope in his voice.
He knew that he was being selfish, that he shouldn’t pull Bethany away from her new life before she was used to it, but she looked so sad. A break might be good for her, and he’d only steal her for one night, maybe two.
“Just one night; you won’t need much. And maybe I’ll kill a rabbit and teach you to skin and clean it,” he said.
She thought about it for about ten seconds, before saying, “Okay, I could use a break.”
When they found Jessie and told him their plan, he looked at them skeptically. “Dillion will kill me if anything happens to her.”
“I’ll be fine, Jessie. I survived in the cave,” Bethany said, bouncing on her toes like an excited kid. “I need a break.”
“Have you ever been camping before?” he asked, “What if something happens to Gabriel and you’re out there on your own?”
Gabriel snorted. “What exactly do you think is going to happen to me?”
Jessie looked him square in the eyes and said, “Don’t forget that her father is still out there.”
Gabriel wanted to tell him right then what he thought about the fact that they’d let Bethany’s father leave the mountain alive, but Jessie had been adamant that they only kill him if they were threatened. “I remember,” he growled.
“Let’s not get into that again,” Jessie said, then turned to Bethany. “I’ll help you get some gear together, but don’t go far.”
Bethany ran over to Jessie and hugged him. “Thank you,” she said, then turned to Gabriel, “When do we leave?”
“Right now; go get some warm clothes and see what Kara and Sophie can spare from the kitchen,” Gabriel said.
He waited until Bethany had run off to the house before he faced his brother who had been staring at him. “What?” he asked, knowing that he wasn’t going to like the answer.
“You and I both know that this isn’t a good idea; it’s only going to end badly for you. If I’d known that you were going to get attached to Bethany, I never would have sent you to watch over her,” Jessie said, running his hands through his hair.
“I’m not getting attached to her,” Gabriel lied, the words sounding false even to his ears.
***Bethany***
As they climbed up the trail leading away from the farm, Bethany felt herself begin to relax. For the next few days, all she had to worry about was keeping herself alive, and that was challenge enough for her.
But she was better prepared than she’d been in the cave, with a nice tent and sleeping bag, and enough food to last a few days. She wasn’t sure she wanted Gabriel to catch the rabbit that he’d promised her, but if he did, she had a nice sharp knife to use.
Best of all she had a flashlight and a frying pan: no cooking on a stick for her this time. Sophie had given her a few quick tips, and shoved her out the door, even though Jessie had still been glaring at her.
“Where are we going?” she asked when he stopped to let her rest a second.
“Not too far from here,” Gabriel said. “I’m taking you to one of my favorite places.”
It wasn’t long before they climbed a steep hill and reached a plateau. Bethany took in the view silently, realizing that she could see the Appalachian Mountains spread out before her. Gabriel led her across the plateau to a little campsite on the edge of a steep cliff, the view so beautiful it was hard to take it all in at once.
“Oh, it’s beautiful,” she said, dropping her pack and stepping a little closer to the edge. “I can see for
miles.”
Gabriel walked up next to her and sat down. “I can look at this view for hours, but it’s even prettier at night, especially on a full moon,” he said.
Bethany’s heart lurched at the mention of the full moon; she still didn’t know if Gabriel knew she couldn’t shift, that she wasn’t like the rest of the family. “I’m not a shifter you know,” she blurted out.
Gabriel turned and looked at her. “I know, your brother told me last full moon when you weren’t there.” When she didn’t say anything more, he added, “It doesn’t matter, Bethany.”
She shook her head, “It’s just another thing that makes me different,” she said.
“No, it’s just another thing that makes you special,” Gabriel said.
Bethany felt her body getting warm, felt the need to touch Gabriel, but didn’t move, afraid that he’d shy away from her. “Thank you,” she said, instead, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Now, you’d better help me set up this tent. Jessie made it sound really hard.”
Later, when they had her tent set up, and a nice fire going, Bethany warmed up the stew that Sophie had sent with her and settled down to eat. When she’d finished, she patted her stomach and said, “So far, so good; I don’t think I’m in any danger yet.”
Gabriel laughed. “If you’re with me, you’re perfectly safe.”
She was quiet for a second, then asked, “Why was Jessie so against this camping trip? We can’t be more than a few miles from the farm.”
Gabriel was silent for a long time, clearly sorting through his head for the answer. Finally he said, “He’s worried about me, not you.”
Bethany thought about that and decided it didn’t make any sense. Gabriel was the biggest creature in the forest. “Why would he be worried about you?”
Gabriel was silent for a long time, staring into the fire, then said, “Because it’s dangerous for me to get attached to people, and he’s afraid that I’m getting attached to you, that someday you’ll leave and break my heart.”
Bethany let his words soak in and realized what he was admitting to her. “I care about you too, Gabriel; it feels like you’re the only one who understands me. Kara can a little bit, we’ve talked about it, but she was never locked away like I was.”
“Or stuck between two worlds like you are now,” he said.
When their eyes met across the fire, Bethany felt her insides begin to tingle, and a wonderful feeling welling up inside her. This time she didn’t resist the urge to touch Gabriel, simply got up, walked around the fire, and sat down next to him.
He sat stiffly next to her at first, and then began to relax. “I don’t understand what’s happening between us, Bethany,” he said when she stroked his side, making his body begin to tingle
“I don’t either, Gabriel, but I think it’s something unique and wonderful,” she said, snuggling up to him.
With a sigh, he laid down and let her rest her back against him. “I hope so,” he said, and put his head between his legs and closed his eyes.
Bethany stared up at the stars, feeling content for the first time in days. “I wish I could just stay here with you, that I never had to go back,” she said.
“You might change your mind when winter comes; it can get pretty cold up here,” Gabriel said, shifting onto his side so that Bethany would be more comfortable.
She put some more wood on the fire, then snuggled closer to him. “Where do you live in the winter when it gets cold?” she asked, imagining a snug cave.
“The cold doesn’t really bother me, but there are a few places I like to go when it gets cold,” he said. “Mostly I just sleep where ever I am.”
“You come here a lot, don’t you?” she asked.
“This place is special,” he said, a bit of humor in his voice. “I’ll explain tomorrow.”
Bethany sat up and looked at him. “Explain now,” she demanded.
“Nope, not until morning; it’ll give you something to look forward to,” he said. “Now you need some sleep, and so do I.”
Bethany knew that he was right, it had been a long day, but she didn’t want to break the spell they were under. But finally, the fire burned down, and the temperature began to drop, so she climbed into the tent, glad for the warmth of the sleeping bag.
Chapter Seven
***Gabriel***
The next morning, after breakfast, Bethany washed her dishes and cleaned up camp. When she was finished, he asked, “Are you ready to go exploring?”
She stopped what she was doing and put her hands on her hips. “You promised to tell me what’s so special about this place,” she said.
Gabriel nodded his head. “I did, and I will, but first you have to see something,” he said, mysteriously.
“Won’t you even give me a clue?” she asked. “The suspense is driving me crazy.”
Gabriel laughed. “Nope, you’ll just have to wait.”
Bethany stuck her tongue out at him, then said, “Fine, but this better be good.”
He was shocked at his body’s response when her pink tongue came shooting out of her mouth; it was such a childish gesture, but it did something to him deep inside. He was beginning to understand that what he was feeling was desire, an emotion that until now had been beyond him, and instead of fighting it this time, he let himself feel it.
It wasn’t something he’d ever felt living with the wolf pack, but suddenly he knew that was exactly what he was feeling. He knew that his ability to communicate with Bethany was responsible for the feeling and that he was in real trouble, that once awoken, the feeling would be almost impossible to forget.
But looking into her eyes, he knew that he wasn’t going to try and block the feeling; he was going to enjoy feeling like a normal man for the first time in his life. It might hurt in the future when Bethany finally moved on with her life, but deep down he knew that this was his one chance to find a little happiness.
She must have seen something in his eyes, because she sucked in a deep breath and said, “I’m ready if you are,” her voice shaky.
Together, they crossed the plateau, walking away from the cliff and toward the woods that surrounded it. They passed by the trail, but Gabriel kept going, leading her to the back of the plateau and a big pile of rocks.
Bethany looked at the pile of rocks, then said, “Someone put these here.”
Gabriel nodded. “This is a special place for not only me,” he said, then walked around the pile of rocks. “The Cherokee Indians used to roam these mountains before white men came and took their land. This is one of their most sacred places, a place that many have forgotten. These rocks represent all the great chiefs and medicine men who were buried here; they were added one by one over years and years.”
“So, this is a burial ground?” she asked, not sure if she was freaked out or not.
“Yes, one of the most sacred to the Cherokee,” Gabriel said, waiting for Bethany’s reaction.
She was silent for a long time as she walked around the rocks again, then looked out over the mountains. “I can understand why; this has to be one of the most beautiful places on Earth,” she finally said.
“I was afraid that you’d be freaked out,” Gabriel said, looking over at her.
“I was a little at first, but then I realized that there’s nothing but positive feelings here,” Bethany said, coming over and sitting down next to him.
“That’s what attracted me to it the first time; I could feel it before I even came over the ridge. For me, it’s more of a feeling of acceptance,” he said.
Bethany looked up at him, “What do you mean?”
“Well, unlike white people who would rather hunt a creature like me down, the people who lived here before them would have revered me. They believed that creatures like me were magic, that we possessed powers that humans didn’t, that we were guardians of the underworld,” he explained. “Here I’m welcomed by the spirits of those people, and it’s soothing to be here. This place reminds me that there is so much more t
o the universe than just what we can see and that I have a place in it.”
Bethany was so affected by his words that she sucked in a deep breath. “That was beautiful, Gabriel,” she said, laying her head against his chest.
They sat in silence for a long time, watching the clouds roll across the valleys and mountains spread before them. It was a comfortable silence that neither wanted to break, but the longer they sat there, the more Gabriel wanted to kiss Bethany, kiss her the way a man kisses a woman.
He knew it was impossible, but there was something happening between them, a connection that only continued to grow, a feeling that they’d only just begun to explore what was possible. He knew what it was: it was hope, and hope had never had any place in his life. It was stupid to let it in, to let it flower and grow, but he was powerless to stop it.
Suddenly scared and needing to break the silence, he got to his feet. “Let’s take a walk; there’s a waterfall not far from here.”
He could see that Bethany was lost in her thoughts, but finally, she said, “Okay, that sounds good.”
“Did you bring your fishing pole or am I hunting for rabbits today?” he teased as they headed across the plateau for camp.
“I think I’ll try fishing again,” she said with a shudder. “I’m not quite ready for the rabbit yet.”
Gabriel laughed and said, “Just let me know when you are.”
***Bethany***
Bethany was sitting on the bank of the stream, three fat fish on a stringer in a pool in front of her. She had a smug look on her face as she watched Gabriel belly deep in the fast-moving water trying to catch his first fish.
“You might as well give up,” she taunted. “I’ve got enough for both of us.”
Her White Wolf: Wolves of Gypsum Creek (A Paranormal Romance Story) Page 4
