She made her way toward the back door to tell him Janey and Mia were down for the count with a germ, all the while reminding herself that it was past time to back away from Owen and take care of her heart. She needed to stand on her own.
Just as she opened the door, an unnatural wave of a chill washed over her, and her upper back started to ache. Her head throbbed, and suddenly, she felt really awful. As in...sick.
She pressed a hand to her throbbing head and rolled her shoulders. Great. Looked like the girls had already shared their germs with her. Or, more likely, they’d all picked the bug up at the same time.
Sara didn’t have time to be sick. It was just her, taking care of everything. She’d turned powering through no matter what into a necessary and useful art form. She’d gutted out sickness before; she’d do it again out of necessity. Single parents didn’t have sick days, or even hours.
Just as she was about to step out onto the patio, Owen showed up at the back door. She stared for just a moment; he looked cuter in his knit hat and work clothes than any man had a right to look. Probably a good thing she didn’t feel well, or she might instigate a repeat kiss right here and right now.
Had to be the fever scrambling her good sense.
She opened the door. “Hey. I was just coming out to talk to you.”
He peered at her. “Everything okay?”
“Janey and Mia both have fevers, and believe it or not, they’re sound asleep right now.”
“In the middle of the afternoon?”
“Yep.” A wave of achy exhaustion swept through her and she felt her shoulders sag a little.
Owen put his hands on his narrow hips and looked closely at her. After a few beats, he whipped off his right glove and, before Sara could see the tricky move coming, pressed a cool hand to her forehead. His brows slammed together. “You have a fever, too.”
“Maybe.”
He pressed his hand to her head again, lingering longer.
If she didn’t feel so crummy, she’d savor the feeling of his cool hand on her warm skin. Good thing she was ill—or not.
He frowned. “No maybe about it.” His eyes zeroed in on her face. “And come to think of it, you don’t look well, either.”
She gave him a deadpan stare, hoping he’d drop the subject; the last thing she wanted was for him to baby her.
“Don’t even try to pull that on me,” he said, waving a finger in front of her motionless face. “I’m a dad, and I’ve been around enough fevers to know when someone has one.”
She shrugged. “Okay, so maybe I am feeling a bit feverish.”
“I knew it.”
She winced as the ache in her upper back spread down and another chill gripped her. “So what? I have too much to do to be sick.” Paperwork. Cleaning. Meal prep. Motherhood. As usual, the list was endless.
“It can all wait,” he said, taking his other glove off and shooing her to take a step backward into the kitchen. “You need to lie down right now.”
She backed up. “No, I don’t have time.”
He glared at her as he pushed the door closed.
“What if the girls need me?” she asked, chewing on her lip as the idea of a nap beckoned like a wonderful dream.
“I’ll take care of the girls,” he said, unzipping his coat.
“From the roof?”
His gloves landed on the counter. “I’ll stay in here.”
She opened her mouth to protest.
“Jeff and I are making good time, and he’s perfectly capable of finishing up today on his own.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t do naps,” she said, taking another tack, knowing she sounded childish. It had to be the germ talking; she wasn’t usually petulant. But she was feeling too blech to care.
“Not even when you’re sick?”
“I’m on my own,” she said as another throb jolted through her head, followed by a sizzling chill that made her whole body ache. “If I take time out to lie around, nothing gets done.”
His face softened. “You’re not on your own today,” he said, putting his hands on her shoulders, his blue eyes seeking hers. “I’m here, and I can take over. I’ll make dinner.”
His words lit a small rogue fire inside her chest that had nothing to do with any kind of germ. She pressed her lips together, refusing to meet his gaze. Boy, he was persuasive.
“Sara, look at me.”
Reluctantly, she did as he asked, even though she was afraid she’d fall into his eyes and never find herself.
“Would it hurt just this once to lean on someone else?”
His question hit right at the crux of the matter. “I don’t like depending on other people. Every time I’ve done that, with the exception of my mom, I’ve been left alone and hurting.”
“I know, and I can’t tell you how what your dad and ex did sticks in my craw.” He looked away, his jaw flexing. “But I think in this instance, for your own good, and for the girls, too, you need to get in bed and sleep so you can get well fast and be back on your feet in no time. You look like you’re about ready to drop.”
A wave of exhaustion rolled over her, pulling at her like taut ropes around her limbs. “Tricky, using the girls as ammunition.”
“Not ammunition,” he said, shaking his head. “The truth.”
He was right; she felt as if her bones were made of lead. In a tiny part of her brain, she wondered what it would be like to have someone take over for her for just a little while so she could sleep. She didn’t get many breaks, and with an illness bearing down on her it would be novel to be able to let someone take care of her for a change.
Plus, she was in no shape to be up working. And she would recover faster if she took care of herself now. “Guess I should count myself lucky that you’re here to take over.”
“Well, yeah, that goes without saying,” he said, quirking his mouth up at one corner. “I make a pretty good nurse.”
“I’m sure you do,” she said, meaning it. “I bet you can take a temperature with a smile as well as you swing a hammer or run a band saw.” Was there anything this guy couldn’t do?
As he turned her around with gentle pressure to her shoulders and she headed to the luxury of the couch in the parlor in the middle of the afternoon, the answer to her own question reverberated through her mind like a shotgun blast.
The only thing the wonderful man in her kitchen couldn’t do was stay in Snowglobe forever.
* * *
Owen found Sara’s list of chores and spent the afternoon doing laundry, mopping the kitchen and foyer floors and cleaning the upstairs bathroom between silently checking on the girls and Sara.
As he worked, and not for the first time, either, he couldn’t help but remember every detail of his and Sara’s kiss, and he had to fight wanting a repeat. Not a good idea, of course, but his memories of having her close seemed to have a mind of their own.
He also went over their conversation about her dad and ex’s desertion as he had more than once since they’d talked. She’d had it rough, no doubt about it, and that tore him up inside. His gut burned every time he thought about it. What a couple of losers. Was it any wonder she didn’t want to lean on anyone?
Yeah, she was stubborn, and took her mom and entrepreneur duties very seriously, which impressed him to no end. He could tell it had taken a lot for her to let him take over while she slept; she was used to depending on no one but herself. But in the end, she’d done the right thing, even though it had clearly gone against her instincts. Again, he couldn’t help but note she was an exceptional person.
A truly wonderful woman, one he had a feeling he should somehow hang on to, even though that was the last thing he’d thought he wanted. Was it possible he had the rest of his life planned wrong?
And he couldn’t deny Mia was g
ood for Jane. His little girl had really come out of the shell she’d been hiding in since Kristy had died, and he knew that he had, in part, the more outgoing Mia to thank for that transformation. All in all, the Kincaid ladies were good for Janey. Really good.
What about for him?
He had no concrete answers, except that it was really weird that he was having so many doubts after being so confident that leaving Snowglobe was the right thing to do before he’d met Sara. Was he really that messed up?
Not a comforting thought.
Just as he’d finished making a scrambled egg and waffle dinner to serve to his patients, the lights flickered. He froze for a moment, plates in hand, waiting. The lights came back on and he gave a sigh of relief, then continued setting the table.
The idea of a power outage ran through his mind as he worked. Maybe he should go dig up a flashlight, just in case?
He methodically went through the kitchen drawers, finding a small flashlight in the last drawer he looked in. Shoving it in his pocket, he continued setting the kitchen table.
Just about the time he had the silverware in place, the lights dimmed, bumped up again...and then went out, leaving him in complete darkness.
Thankful he’d listened to his instincts, he pulled the flashlight out and turned it on. Looked like they were in for an interesting evening. Luckily, he already had dinner made.
Figuring the girls might be scared if they woke up in total darkness, he made his way to Sara’s room where Mia and Janey slept, glancing out the front door on the way by. From the looks of the darkened street, most of the town was without power.
He awakened the girls before he roused Sara, making a silly game out of the flashlight casting funny shadows on the wall. Then, with one girl’s hand in each of his, and the flashlight clamped between his teeth, he went to get Sara.
She awoke easily, and he quickly explained what was going on. She sprang up and took Janey’s hand and they led the girls to the kitchen. Sara found some candles, and they ate dinner by candlelight. Both girls perked up during the meal.
He insisted Sara let him do the dishes, but she, of course, wanted to help, declaring she felt better.
“How long do you think this outage will go on?” she asked as she dried dishes. The girls were playing with their little ponies at the candlelit kitchen table.
“No idea. Could be all night.”
She nibbled on her bottom lip. “We’d better get the fire going, then.” She glanced out the window at the swirling snow. “It’s going to get cold in here.”
He paused. “You want me to stay?”
Sara’s chin went up. “Nah. We’ll be fine.” There was that independent streak of hers.
“You sure?”
“Positive.” She dried the last dish and put it away. “I’m a big girl.”
He gave her an I-know-you-are-but-I’m-still-worried look.
She waved a hand in the air. “Relax, Prince Charming. We’re just going to be sleeping.”
“Well, at least let me build the fire before we go.”
“Okay. I’ll give the girls some more acetaminophen while you do that.”
Uneasy with the arrangement but wanting to give Sara the space she needed, he wiped the counters and then went in to the living room and started a nice fire. Thinking ahead, he went out and started the truck so it would be warmed up when he and Janey got in.
Then, once he was confident everything was in order, he bundled a sleepy Janey into her coat and hat. Sara still looked like she was dragging, but she assured him she could handle Mia for the rest of the evening, with or without power, while thanking him for his help.
He waved off her thank-you as nothing big because it wasn’t and gave her a quick hug as he told her to take care of herself. With a promise to be back in the morning, and making sure Sara would call if she needed anything, he hustled Janey out to his truck, being careful in the silent darkness. The snow was really coming down, and he hoped it stopped soon or he and Jeff would have to spend a lot of time tomorrow morning clearing the roof before they could get started. Assuming the power was back on by then...
The darkness of the truck’s cab wrapped around him as he shifted into four-wheel drive and started home. Truthfully, after his busy day spent at Sara’s, he felt a bit alone, especially with no lights on anywhere. His headlights cut a bright swath through the falling snow and the quietness of the night closed in around him. Inevitably his thoughts shifted to Sara, and affection grew in his chest and radiated outward, warming him from the inside out.
“Daddy?” Janey said from her car seat, dragging his thoughts away from Sara’s warming effects.
“I thought you were asleep, baby girl.”
“No.”
“You all right?”
“Uh-huh, ’cept my head hurts a little bit.”
“That’s because you have a virus.”
“Oh.”
Silence.
Then from the darkness, “Daddy, I like Sara.”
His heart just about stalled as his mind made a one-eighty, right back to Sara. Funny how he’d been doing that particular half circle a lot lately. “I do, too, honey.”
“Is she coming wif us when we move?”
“Um...no, she’s not,” he shoved out, his throat tight. Interesting how the thought of not having Sara by his side in a little over a week made him feel downright sick inside.
“Why not?” Jane asked, her voice small yet full of disbelief that killed him. “I thought we were a fambly.”
Her question zapped him like he’d been shocked by a live wire. He pressed a hand to the bridge of his nose. Oh, man. What could he say? Janey was way too young to understand the ins and outs of adult relationships, but he didn’t want to make up some lie.
So he settled on a gentle version of the truth. “Honey, Sara is a very nice lady who is my friend and your babysitter.”
“Like Mona?” she asked.
Those two words stopped him short, and he resisted the urge to chuckle at his daughter’s interpretation of the situation. Funny how little kids saw things in black-and-white, without much gray in between.
Whatever the case, Janey’s comment forced him to admit that, no, the way he felt about Sara was not like Mona at all. Mona was a kindly middle-aged woman with grandkids of her own, a heart of gold and a huge soft spot for Janey. All wonderful qualities for sure. But no way had he ever felt the need to spend one-on-one time with Mona as he had with Sara.
In fact, since Kristy had died, he hadn’t felt even the slightest urge to be with any woman...
Until Sara.
His mouth went dry.
Shrugging off the significance of his thoughts as best he could, he instead focused on the conversation at hand. “Um...well, kind of like Mona,” he replied, settling on a version that wasn’t a lie, but was enough to answer Janey’s question. “She and Sara are both really nice ladies, aren’t they?”
“Uh-huh,” Jane said.
For a few long moments, nothing but the sound of the windshield wipers echoed throughout the truck’s cabin.
Then Janey said, “But you never hold hands with Mona.”
He tightened his grip on the steering wheel, wishing he’d had the foresight not to take Sara’s hand in his as they’d walked through town. But what was done was done, no going back. Trouble was, how could he explain the difference between Mona and Sara to Janey in a way she would understand?
“Um...that’s because Mona’s married,” he said, snagging on the only reasoning that was both solid and easy for Janey to understand. “She already loves Elmer, right?”
“Oh. Right,” Janey said. “She already had a webbing with him.”
He smiled at her mangled pronunciation. “Exactly.”
“’Cause she likes Elmer
, right?”
“Right,” Owen said. Best leave the discussion at that.
“Well, I wish Sara and Mia could come wif us.” Silence. “If you like her and I like her, why can’t you have a webbing? Mia and me could be flower girls and wear our princess costumes and walk down the mile together. And then we could play together all the time!” Her tone shined with such hope, he could barely draw a full breath.
Words stuck in his throat for a second, leaving a burning lump behind. He was an absolute idiot for letting himself and Janey get so involved with the Kincaid ladies; she was already envisioning herself walking down a church aisle in a pretty dress with her supposed soon-to-be forever playmate.
Well, there was no help for it; he was going to have to be honest. “Because Sara and I don’t love each other,” he forced out even as the statement burned.
“Why not?” Janey asked.
More honesty needed. “Because I don’t want to fall in love again,” he said. If he said it enough, it would be true. He’d make sure of it.
“Oh.”
He drove in silence for a few moments.
Janey spoke up again. “Daddy?”
“Yes?”
“I think you be sad if you don’t have someone to love.”
The softly spoken words rammed into him like a hammer strike. What if her proclamation was true?
Shoving that explosive thought away, he said, “As long as I have you, I’ll be happy.”
“Okay.”
But, suddenly, nothing was okay. The pesky lump remained in his throat while Janey’s statement bounced around in his brain, refusing to be ignored.
I think you’ll be sad if you don’t have someone to love.
Was that true? Was he relegating himself to a life of unhappy loneliness by choosing to guard his heart at all costs?
As he looked at the cold winter’s night enveloping the truck with snow and freezing temperatures, his confusion over Sara deepened. Quite possibly he would be less happy alone than with Sara and her kind spirit, lilting laugh and compelling presence. But he’d also retain power over what went on in his life. No risk, no pain, no loss. And wasn’t that what he’d wanted since Kristy had died?
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