“Are you trying to talk me into having kids?” Noah asked with a low laugh.
“Nope,” Gabe replied. “You know what you want. But I’m pointing out that this isn’t all on Brody. Nevaeh wanted kids, and while she loved you, I highly doubt she’d have been blissfully happy with just you. I’m sorry. You weren’t enough for her, and much as that hurts, this isn’t just about Brody doing you wrong.”
“I know that...” Noah leaned his head back.
“And you aren’t mad at Nevaeh at all for lying to you about that?” Gabe asked. “I would be.”
He sighed. “Maybe I am, a little bit. She could have told me the truth instead of hinting about engagement rings. You know what I think? She figured she’d change my mind on it.”
“Yeah, of course.”
“What do you mean, of course?” Noah demanded, twisting to look at his friend.
“I mean, of course! She figured you’d change your mind and she’d talk you into it,” Gabe replied. “We all knew that.”
Always the last to know... Noah heaved a sigh.
“At first, she liked the idea of not having kids, you know,” Noah said. “In my own defense. She liked the quiet evenings, and money spent on the finer things in life. For a while there, she agreed that being two working adults with no kids would be a really nice lifestyle.”
And then she’d changed her mind... Would Taryn do the same thing? Would she decide that she didn’t want him in their son’s life anymore? Or would she suddenly want more than he could give? Was he stupid to believe that Taryn was being one hundred percent honest with both him and her herself right now?
“So you’re single, you don’t want a family of your own and you’re cutting off friends,” Gabe said, tugging his attention back to the conversation. “The way I see it, Brody saved you from a divorce. Plain and simple. And you’re going to need your friends in your life. Brody’s been there for you for decades. You two were joined at the hip all through high school. Brody fell in love with Nevaeh, and I get that was crossing a line, but dude, Nevaeh fell in love with Brody, too.”
Noah was silent.
“You never noticed that, either?” Gabe asked. “I mean, you must have seen how Brody fawned over her...”
“Yeah, I noticed that,” Noah said curtly.
“And that she really depended on him,” Gabe added.
“They were friends,” Noah said.
“It started out that way,” Gabe agreed. “And I don’t think there was any cheating, but she really relied on him. He...he might have been friend-zoned while she was with you, but they’d developed a real relationship. Everyone could see it. I mean, I did, and Cassie always tells me I’m dense about these things.”
Noah rubbed his hands over his face. “I really don’t want to talk about this.”
“She could have married you and ‘accidentally’ gotten pregnant,” Gabe said.
“That would have been underhanded.” That would have been a betrayal, too.
“Still—that does happen,” Gabe said. “So maybe realize that things might be complicated, but not quite so complicated as a baby arriving that you’d never planned on!”
Noah felt the bitterness of that irony, because a baby was arriving...just not with Nevaeh. And he was going to be a father whether he’d planned for it or not. The only difference was, he hadn’t been duped in the process of this child’s conception. What would Nevaeh think when she found out that he was going to be a father?
“So how do you figure we all move forward, then?” Gabe asked when they’d been silent for a couple of beats. “Are you just going to avoid anything that includes Brody and Nevaeh from now on? Dinners, barbecues, birthday parties, graduations? Like—how do you figure we do this? Because we’re all friends with both of you.”
That group of friends had been part of what had drawn Noah back to life in Mountain Springs when he’d moved here five years ago, and it was the reason that he was hoping to get out of here and start fresh in Seattle. But Gabe was right. There would be a wedding for Brody and Nevaeh. There would be baby showers for them, and baby showers for other friends, too. There would be all the parties that Brody and Nevaeh would be invited to. And if Noah shut himself off from anything that included Brody, he’d end up alone. This was Noah’s problem—no one else felt it deeply enough to pick a side. They were adults, and life was messy—they’d made their peace with that.
“I figure I’ll move,” Noah said quietly.
“Funny.” Gabe took a swig of his beer, then eyed him uncertainly.
“I’m serious,” Noah said. “I’m applying to a job in Seattle.”
“Really?” Gabe looked over at him incredulously. “You’d leave the sweet gig you have at the resort?”
“There are other sweet gigs,” Noah said.
“There are other women, too!” Gabe said. “Look, if you leave your home, your sister, her kids, your friends, your job—if you leave all of us because of Brody and Nevaeh, I think you’ll regret it. Because life will go on—our lives will all go on. And there will be no turning back that clock. Life here in Mountain Springs is bigger than the two of them.”
“Life changes sometimes,” Noah said. His own life was even more upended than Gabe knew.
“Look, if you have to leave, then leave. But don’t do it before you look Brody in the face and talk to him. Even if it’s just to say your piece. You owe yourself that much.”
He might have a point—he might move across the country, but if he didn’t sort out his issues here at home, it would still hold him back emotionally.
“You might have a point, Gabe,” Noah said. “Seeing Brody once more might be a good idea.”
“Yeah?” Gabe sounded hopeful.
“I just can’t promise that I’ll be all sensitive and talk it out,” Noah said.
“You know, or hit him,” Gabe said with a grin. “Whatever it takes to clear the air.”
CHAPTER NINE
THAT EVENING, TARYN stayed in her sleeveless black dress—it wasn’t formal, but it was suitable for a dessert invite with the Second Chance Dinner Club, and she’d added a sparkly floral-patterned rhinestone necklace to dress it up. It would do.
As she headed into the dining room, she spotted the women in a far corner, tucked away from most of the other diners. Outside, the sun had already set, and the moon hung low over the mountains and shimmered on the rippling surface of the lake. Problems seemed smaller with this kind of scenery outside.
She’d read that in the International Space Station, astronauts looked down on earth from above, and when they returned to the earth’s surface, they just never saw things the same way again. There was something about the beauty of the planet and the massiveness of space that put things into perspective. The mountain lake did something similar for her—at least for the span of one evening.
The sampler platter of desserts sitting in the center of the table drew Taryn’s attention, and she smiled at the women who were already there. There was Jen and Gayle, the aunt and niece who had sat together last time, too. There was Belle and Renata, who seemed to share a special bond. Melanie looked effortlessly beautiful tonight in a crimson off-the-shoulder dress. The only one who was missing was Angelina.
“Thanks for inviting me tonight,” Taryn said, and slid into a chair next to Gayle.
“So we’re getting together to talk weddings tomorrow, right?” Gayle said.
Taryn had called both Gayle and Melanie that day to make plans.
“Yes, absolutely,” Taryn said. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“Me, too,” Gayle said. “Any excuse to pull out the wedding album.”
“You are just so cute, Gayle,” Melanie said with a grin. “I remember when you wanted some understated wedding behind a barn or something.”
“It wasn’t behind a barn,” Gayle said with a laugh. “It
was going to be outdoors in blue jeans.”
“It didn’t end up being a blue jean wedding,” Renata said for Taryn’s benefit. “It was stunning—the event of the season. You should have seen Gayle. She was very old-Hollywood. She oozed glamour.”
“Oh, go on,” Gayle said, but her cheeks pinked. “I didn’t think I needed a big, fancy wedding this time around, but you all were right. I loved it.”
“I’ve seen a couple of pictures,” Taryn said. “It looked gorgeous.”
“I was a nervous wreck,” Gayle said. “If it weren’t for these women here, I don’t know how I would have pulled it all off.”
“Well, if it weren’t for us and Matthew,” Belle said.
“Oh, right, the groom,” Gayle joked, and they all laughed.
Taryn watched Gayle’s face as she turned to laugh with Belle, and she was happy. That happiness made her glow—she was deeply satisfied. Had Gayle always looked this fresh? She doubted it. A woman stuck in a marriage that didn’t fulfil her seemed to age ten years. Taryn had certainly felt that way with Glen, but it wasn’t just an unfulfilling marriage; it was the infertility. She’d gotten pregnant before they ever took those vows, so why couldn’t she do it again? Why had her body betrayed her? That had drained her energy away, too.
Her baby moved inside of her, and Taryn rubbed the side of her belly where his foot was pushing.
“How did you do it, Gayle?” Taryn asked quietly.
All eyes turned toward her, and she smiled uncomfortably.
“I mean, I’m pretty newly divorced, and you’re just so...beautifully happy,” Taryn said. “I suppose I want that, too.”
“It was this group,” Gayle said, and the other women nodded knowingly. “We got together for a meal one day, and we were talking about how a lot of us had been Mom for so long, that we wanted to be more than that. We wanted to be women. And for me, my first husband was gay, so I missed out on the kind of romance the rest of you might take for granted... I went home that night, and I decided that I didn’t know what would happen. I didn’t know if I’d find love again at my age, but I decided I wanted to try. So when I met Matthew at the gym, I...flirted back.”
“You never told us that!” Melanie said, leaning forward. “I do remember that dinner, though. It was one my first dinners with all of you. We toasted to being more than mothers.”
“I wanted to have what everyone else had,” Gayle said quietly. “I wanted it so badly...”
Taryn nodded. “You were ready.”
“I was so ready,” Gayle said, and her eyes sparkled as a smile spread over her face.
These women wanted to be more than mothers, but Taryn had longed to be a mother, period. She’d wanted a child of her own, a baby in her arms. More than a mother? No, finally a mother! And yet, she understood that longing for love and passion, too. Taryn just wasn’t ready to try for it. She was still cherishing the victory of her pregnancy.
Angelina arrived at the table then, and when she slid into the seat next to Taryn, she shot them a smile.
“You made it,” Jen said.
“Sorry I’m late,” Angelina said. “I got some emails I had to respond to right away, or I’d just think about them all evening. You know how it is.”
“You work too hard,” Renata said.
“I love it, though,” Angelina said with a shrug. “The dessert is on the house tonight. Albert made up some samples for a photo shoot with Taryn, which left us with all of this left over.”
“Lucky us,” Belle said with a grin in Taryn’s direction. “I think tonight could use a large dose of chocolate.”
“Any night, really,” Renata said.
They all chose a dessert and they chatted while they ate. Taryn chose a raspberry chocolate mousse served in a little chocolate cup, and it was just as delicious as it looked in the photos she’d taken. She listened while the women chatted. Belle, who sat next to her, took a small bite of her cheesecake, then put down her fork. Taryn looked over at her.
“You okay?” she asked quietly.
“Hmm?” Belle looked over, then shrugged. “Oh, um, I’m a little down tonight. Philip and I broke up.”
“What?” Renata said from the other side of Belle, and the table silenced.
All the women were focused on Belle now.
Belle’s eyes misted and she blinked back the tears. “Sorry, I’m still a little moody about it.”
“What happened?” Taryn asked softly.
“He came to my place for dinner,” Belle said. “And everything was fine at first. The last time I was at his place, I was looking through some of his old yearbooks and stuff, so he wanted to see mine. Anyway, I have some albums from my modeling years, and from my marriage to Curtis, and I...hid them.”
“So he wouldn’t be insecure about it,” Renata said.
“Exactly.” Belle sucked in a breath and shot Renata a grateful look. “When I was married to Curtis, I hid so many things from him. And I was doing things to please him. Like, he’d complain about models who didn’t get enough sleep, so I’d be careful to go to bed early even when I wasn’t tired so I wouldn’t be ‘one of those girls.’ And then I’d hide eating a cheeseburger because he’d go on and on about trans fats and eating garbage. It was constant! So I was standing in my own living room distracting Philip from the albums I didn’t want him to look at, and I realized I was doing the same thing! I was hiding parts of myself from a man who I wanted to love me.”
“Oh, sweetie...” Gayle breathed.
“And I was sick of it!” Belle said. “With Curtis, I was trying to be thin enough, and beautiful enough, and keep looking young enough... With Philip, I’m trying to be ordinary enough so that he stops worrying that I’ll cheat on him. I’m sick of trying to be someone different than who I am. I’m forty-two years old, and I’m sick to death of pleasing men!”
“Did you tell him that?” Taryn asked.
“No. I told him it wasn’t working and asked him to leave,” Belle said. “Some explanations aren’t worth it. He wasn’t going to get it, anyway. You want to know the worst part?”
The women were silent, waiting.
“When he left, he asked me if there was someone else, if that was why I was breaking up with him,” Belle said. “I almost punched him.”
“Maybe you should have,” Renata muttered, and Taryn smiled at the other woman’s bitter humor.
“I’m sorry,” Jen said. “I know you really cared for him.”
“I did. I do,” Belle said.
“So what do you need to get over him?” Angelina asked.
“This—” Belle looked around. “And you know what? I love you girls! You don’t know how much I cherish what we have here. I have other friends who are less supportive. They figure I don’t deserve any sympathy with my modeling past, and...you all make a world of difference in my life. You know that?”
“You do the same for us, Belle,” Melanie said.
“And we’ll always be on your side,” Renata said.
“I needed this evening out with all of you.” Belle sighed. “And some gossip. I realized that we never found out how Taryn caught her husband’s affair. I’ve been curious...”
“So have I.” Renata leaned forward to get a better look at Taryn.
“Well, I found some texts he’d sent to this other woman, and—” Taryn’s mind went back to that painful day “—he’d never spoken to me like that. I mean, ever. He told her how when he looked at her, he felt like he was coming home. How her eyes intoxicated him, how her lips—” She shook her head. “You get the idea.”
“Ouch...” Jen said softly.
“Yeah,” Taryn agreed. “And when I told my mother about it, she thought I should fight for my man, but there was no point.”
“Because you couldn’t trust him?” Melanie asked.
“Well, that,” Ta
ryn said, “But it wasn’t just about the lies he must have told. I realized in that moment that he’d never lit up for me like that. I’d never inspired him to that kind of poetry. All I’d inspired was some noble obligation. And I didn’t want to fight to be Glen’s obligation any longer. There was no glorious history to fight for.”
“Gayle wanted to be more than a mother,” Belle said quietly. “Taryn wants to be more than an obligation. And I want to be more than a body—more than a face.”
“I just want to be loved,” Renata murmured.
The table fell silent. Wasn’t that what it came down to? The women looked around the table at each other, and Angelina lifted her glass.
“To being loved,” she said, and there were tears in Angelina’s eyes.
They lifted their glasses in quiet solidarity. It was all any of them wanted.
* * *
AS NOAH DROVE away from Gabe’s house and back toward the office to grab his phone, his mind was on Brody. Gabe might have a point, he had to grudgingly agree. Even if Noah left for Seattle, he couldn’t cut off his entire history in this town. There was no such thing as a completely fresh start. He had a history, and even if he got the job, he’d come back and visit his sister, at the very least. Life in Mountain Springs would go on. People would keep getting married, having kids, reaching milestones and celebrating all of it together. Unless he wanted to lose his connection to all of his friends and family, he had to make some sort of peace with Brody.
The drive up to the resort was a quiet one. The moon was high and full, and he needed the time alone to think, anyway. When he parked and got out, he could hear the soft sound of a late dining party on the patio—the murmur of voices, some laughter, the clink of glasses.
He headed inside and nodded at the young man working the late shift at the front desk as he made his way to his office. Phone retrieved, he typed out a text to Brody.
Harlequin Heartwarming June 2021 Box Set Page 12
