Granny pursed her lips.
“We should get back,” Taryn said to Noah.
“Time is money,” Granny said, and she gave them a nod. “Thank you for coming by, all the same.”
This was the problem with Granny. She was full of opinions, convinced she was right and willing to use manipulation to make things happen her way. But she was also old, and one of these days, the world would stop bending to her will.
Noah stayed silent while Taryn said her goodbyes to her grandmother. When they stepped outside, the screen door propped open, Granny said, “Can I say just one more thing, Taryn?”
Taryn paused, waiting.
“As far as men go, I’ve experienced a lot myself. And this one here—” Granny put a hand on Noah’s arm. “He’s got kind eyes. I know it’s no guarantee, but Glen didn’t have kind eyes. And your grandfather had laughing eyes...but not kind ones. I just thought it was worth mentioning.”
Taryn looked down at her weathered old grandmother, at the lines in her face framed by wispy white hair, and felt a wave a protectiveness. Granny did want to help...
“I love you, Granny,” Taryn said, and she leaned down and kissed her grandmother’s cheek.
“All right,” Granny said. “I love you, too. Go back to work now.”
She gave her grandmother’s hand a squeeze.
Taryn followed Noah back to his truck, and when he opened the door for her, she took his hand as she hoisted herself into the passenger’s side seat. He held her hand just a moment longer than necessary.
“You okay?” he asked softly.
“Yeah... I’m fine.”
Noah slammed the door after her, and as he headed around to the driver’s side, Taryn looked out the window toward her grandmother, still standing on the step.
If only marrying a handsome guy and having his baby was the easy solution that Granny made it seem. But life wasn’t that simple, and she had a feeling that it never had been, not even for Granny.
Noah got into the driver’s side and put the key in the ignition.
“She’s a real force of nature, isn’t she?” Noah asked. He put on his seat belt, and they pulled away from the curb.
“She is,” Taryn agreed.
“For the record,” he said, “I’m not scared off by your ability to argue well. I think it’s kind of attractive.”
Taryn laughed softly, and Noah reached over and took her hand in his. He twined his fingers through hers, and she looked over at this strong man sitting next to her, one hand on the steering wheel, the other holding hers...
“Don’t let Granny get in your head,” she said.
“Because I’m holding your hand?” he asked, and he didn’t take his eyes off the road. “Don’t worry—I think there will be times that a high five isn’t enough. And this is one of them.”
She should pull back, get things onto a logical, even keel, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
Did Granny have a point? Or was Taryn toying with unnecessary heartbreak by making the same mistake all over again and letting a pregnancy dictate her romantic future?
She’d been down this road before...and it was painful. But Granny made things seem not only possible, but reasonable.
She stole a glance at Noah, and while he didn’t look toward her, his grip did tighten on her hand just a little bit.
He was tempting...oh, so tempting. But kind eyes and physical chemistry just weren’t enough.
* * *
NOAH HAD TO release Taryn’s hand in order to signal, and once they were on the road that curved around the lake and led up toward the resort, he glanced over at her.
“I’m being selfish, aren’t I?”
“Hmm?” She looked up.
“Tom told me once that when he married my mother, he closed his eyes and jumped and just hoped for the best,” he said. “And I remember thinking how selfish that sounded.”
“Don’t let my grandmother get to you,” she said. “She has these ideas of the order things should happen, and for her, babies belong in wedlock. Period.”
“Yeah, I got that,” he said.
“And while she and my grandfather stayed together, my grandpa was cheating on her for a lot of their marriage,” she said. “She loved him, and she probably hated him in equal measure, but they needed each other. They had eight boys to raise, and they weren’t going to manage that in separate households. So...they stuck together.”
They were both silent for a couple of beats.
“We have a good plan,” Taryn added.
“I think so, too,” he agreed. “I just... I like your grandmother. She’s spunky.”
“Just wait until she turns that attitude your way,” Taryn chuckled.
“I think I understand you a little bit better,” he said.
“Oh?” He saw the wariness in her eye.
“You’ve got a big, connected family,” he said. “And I always imagined that kind of upbringing would be soft and supportive. I think you’ve had to dig your heels in and get tough, though. You needed to stay true to yourself in the face of all these people who love you and figure they know you better than you know yourself.”
Taryn shot him a surprised look.
“That’s kind of true,” she agreed. “Big families are wonderful, but you have to step carefully with them, too.”
“I only have my sister,” he said. “There are fewer expectations there.”
“Fewer clashing expectations,” she countered. “But family always expects something.”
That was true, but his relationship with his sister kept him grounded, too. Birthdays, Christmas, Easter—he had somewhere to go, somewhere he was needed, or else the day wouldn’t be the same. Family gave structure, and you either used that to form yourself, or you kicked against it.
“So are you ready to see the family I come from?” he asked. “Tomorrow night, we’re watching my sister’s kids.”
“I’m curious to see you with kids,” Taryn said, and she shot him a grin. “And four of them sounds like it’ll drive you to the edge. That’ll be interesting to see.”
“You think?” he asked with a short laugh. “My oldest nephew is getting an attitude. So this might be more daunting than you imagine.”
“We can handle one evening,” she said. “Besides, I’m giving my presentation to Angelina on Monday, and then I head home.”
“So soon?”
Taryn didn’t answer, and Noah sighed. Their time here had flown by, and he didn’t feel ready to say goodbye to her yet. Despite all they’d shared, he felt like a lot would change when she left. While she was here, she needed him here—on some level. She might not need as much from him at home, where she had her own supports...
“I...look, I was wanting to talk to you about something,” he said slowly. “When the baby is born, are you... I mean, who’s going to be with you?”
“My mother,” she said.
“Yeah, that makes sense.” He nodded. “And I’m sure you have friends.”
“I do,” she said.
“It’s just—” He swallowed. “I know my place, okay? I’m not pushing. I’m not asking for any kind of custody arrangement. But I’d really like to see him when he’s born. I’d like to see—” He swallowed. “I’d like to see you.”
He wanted to make sure Taryn was doing well, was cared for, was healthy. He’d feel better seeing her with their son in her arms, knowing they were both okay, seeing that they were okay.
“You want to be at the birth?” she asked, her voice low, and he couldn’t read what she was feeling.
“That’s too much, isn’t it?” he asked, but he reached out and took her hand again. This time she squeezed his fingers hard.
“It’ll be sweaty, and ugly and I’ll be screaming, no doubt,” she said. “There’s nothing easy about delivery
.”
“I’m his father,” Noah said quietly. “And I want to... I don’t know. I want to see you through it, in whatever way would actually help you. I’m not foolish enough to push myself on you, but if I might be...comforting—”
What was he doing? He was asking for far too much.
“The thing is,” Noah said, sucking in a breath, “I’m just going to tell you what I’m thinking, okay? So there’s no misunderstanding here. I want to know that you’re safe—both of you. And I have this image in my head of you holding our boy, and that would be comforting for me. I want to know that he’s in your arms, and that you’re well cared for. And if you need anything, I want to be there to make sure you get it. That’s all. I’m not asking to get between you and the baby, or...anything like that. If that makes sense.”
“You want to be there...”
“Yeah.”
“It might be nice,” she said. “Just...a bit more support.”
“I’d be there for you—and you can send me on errands, or break my hand during contractions, or curse me for doing this to you—”
“We’ll see what I need,” she said, and he noticed that she hadn’t released his hand. Maybe she’d want this—him at her side, letting her crush his hand as hard as she needed to.
“When I go into labor,” she said, “I could let you know.”
“That would be really nice,” he said.
For the first time in his life, he was thinking about holding a woman’s hand while she delivered their child...about giving her his strength.
It was a good thing to be staying in Mountain Springs—in Colorado. He might not have much of an instinct toward parenting this child, but he did feel deep inside of him that closer was better. For whatever that was worth.
When they arrived at the lodge again, Taryn had more work to do, and she headed into her office. He went to his, and for a moment, he just sat at his desk, his mind spinning.
So much was changing so quickly. He’d gone from being a bitter guy who’d lost his fiancée and his best friend to being the father of an unborn baby. And he was thinking about what it would mean for his life, for that child’s life...for Taryn.
Noah turned on his computer, and while he flicked through a few work emails, his cell phone rang. He looked down at the number—it wasn’t one he recognized, but it had a Denver area code.
“Hello. Noah Brooks,” he said.
“Noah? Hi, it’s Tom.”
Noah’s heartbeat sped up, and he turned away from the computer. “Tom? Hi...how did you get my number?”
“Your sister passed it along,” he said. “I’m sorry if this is too much—”
“No, it’s fine,” Noah said. “How are you?”
“I’m not too bad,” Tom replied. “I’ve been thinking about you kids lately, and when you found me on Facebook, I guess it brought back a lot of memories.”
Noah was silent for a moment. “Good memories?”
“Yeah, of course!” Tom said. “Very good memories. I missed you kids a lot when your mom and I split up. It’s nice to see you all grown-up now—looks like you turned out okay.”
“Yeah, we did,” he said. “I was actually hoping to see you at Mom’s funeral.”
“It didn’t feel right to go,” Tom said. “I mean, your mother wasn’t crazy about me at the end, and showing up with my new wife—that felt disrespectful. I did send a flower arrangement, though.”
“Actually, that was probably a good call,” Noah admitted. He was silent for a moment. “Tom, you weren’t good to my mother. You know that, right?”
“I’m—” Tom cleared his throat. “I’m really sorry, Noah. You’re right. We didn’t bring out the best in each other.”
“That’s not an excuse, though,” Noah said. “At some point, a man has to take responsibility for how he behaves. I remember listening to you two fight. You’d always find a way to get that last word in, and my mom would be in tears. Do you have any idea what that did to me?”
“I didn’t know you heard any of that,” Tom said. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Over the years, I tried to make sense of your relationship with my mom,” Noah said. “For a long while, I blamed myself for the breakup. I mean, Mom was mostly upset because you weren’t very good at making responsible choices for my sister and me—” Now that he’d started talking, Noah could feel the floodgates opening. “But all the same, you’re the one who actually understood me. You were another guy—you were my dad. Maybe it was different for you—I wasn’t actually yours.”
“I didn’t have any legal right to you, Noah,” Tom said.
What did that mean? Had he not felt the same connection?
“I get it,” Noah said quickly. “I do. We were her kids from a previous marriage. But to me—a six-year-old boy—you were the dad I’d prayed for. And when you and Mom split up, I kept praying every night that you’d remember me and come back—”
Noah’s voice broke and he stopped talking. This was a bad idea... What was he even doing?
“I was a kid who took it hard,” Noah said. “That’s all I’m trying to say.”
“I wasn’t any good with kids,” Tom said quietly. “I guess I messed you up more than I thought... I didn’t know that you...loved me.”
“Yeah, well—” Noah cleared his throat. “It was a long time ago. Forget it. I’m sorry to lay all that on you.”
“Hey, it’s fine,” Tom said. “I really loved you kids, but I wasn’t your real dad, and your mom wanted to move on. We were really different, your mom and me. Now that you’re a grown man, I’m sure you get that. We had this chemistry between us, but I wasn’t what she needed on a deeper level.”
“Why did you marry her, then?” Noah asked.
“I guess I was just hoping for the best,” Tom replied. “I always said I just closed my eyes and jumped, and for a while I thought it was the right thing. I had your mom and you kids, and my life felt complete. But it didn’t change that we were fundamentally different. I didn’t make her as happy as you all made me.”
Noah was silent.
“We weren’t bringing out the best in each other,” Tom repeated. “That happens at the end of a marriage—you don’t break up because you can’t stand the other person. You break up because you don’t like who you’ve become. I was willing to go because I didn’t want to be like that anymore. I honestly thought you kids would be glad to see the back of me.”
“Maybe I should have been,” Noah said. “But I wasn’t. I missed you a lot.”
“Maybe you want to come out and visit my rescue operation here,” Tom said. “It would be nice to see you again, and spend a bit of time with you. If you wanted...”
Did he want to take this, or did he want to push all those childhood memories down and move on? He’d thought about Tom far too often to be able to brush him aside with one conversation.
“That would be nice,” Noah said.
“And for what it’s worth now,” Tom said quietly, “I did call your mom after the divorce and apologize for the stuff I said, for the times I hurt her. I did say I was sorry—”
“I didn’t know that,” Noah replied.
“You were a kid,” Tom said gently. “You weren’t supposed to know. We were supposed to be making things better for you, not dumping you in the middle. We did try to protect you from it all, you know.”
Except, kids were smarter and more perceptive than adults ever realized... And then they carried that trauma around with them for the rest of their lives. If there was one thing Noah could learn from Tom, it was that closing his eyes and leaping in wasn’t the answer. And fulfilling a woman’s emotional needs for the long run didn’t happen with a few good intentions.
There was a ping from his computer, and Noah looked over to see a new email. This one was from Seattle, and the subject line read Job Offer.
“Hey, I’ve got to take care of a few things here,” Noah said. “Do you think we could talk again later?”
“Of course!” Tom said. “Call me anytime.”
After he’d hung up, Noah clicked on the email. It was from Ellen at the Seattle hotel. She’d emailed to say the successful candidate had had to turn down the position for personal reasons. And they were circling back to him...
As you know, we were incredibly impressed with you, and if you’d like the job, it’s yours.
Noah swallowed. Seattle. A better-paying job—a better opportunity to provide for his son...and halfway across the country from Taryn and the baby.
It wasn’t the direction his heart was tugging him anymore, but maybe it would be better for all of them. Who was he kidding? The best of intentions were seldom enough. Maybe he should simply provide what he could—a comfortable life that kept his son safely in his mother’s arms and away from any drama that might arise between himself and Taryn.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
TARYN’S BELLY HAD grown since she’d arrived at the resort—she noticed it in how her clothes were fitting.
Maybe it was all that delicious food she’d been having from the mountain resort kitchen, but the baby was getting stronger, too, and she noticed it in his kicks and jabs. She adjusted herself in the seat as Noah drove, rubbing her hand over a place where the baby’s foot was pressing.
“When I get back to Denver, I have a checkup with my doctor,” Taryn said. “And every time I sit in that waiting room with all the other pregnant women, I see the life that’s waiting for me. Most come with their other kids in tow, so I see all the different ages. One woman I see pretty often has an infant that she carries in a baby car seat. She got pregnant the second time like...weeks after delivering her first baby. Not recommended, by the way.”
“Yeah, I imagine.”
She wasn’t sure why she was talking about this stuff with Noah. Maybe it was that she was going to miss him. She’d be back in Denver in a matter of days, and her time in Mountain Springs was coming to an end. Taryn glanced at Noah, at his faint shadow of whiskers, and the strong hand resting on the steering wheel. His warm gaze flicked in her direction.
Harlequin Heartwarming June 2021 Box Set Page 19
