“Zack?” She took a step closer but stopped before she touched him. “I’m sorry if I was out of line—”
He chuckled, and slowly his chuckle grew into a full laugh. He turned to her. She smiled back at him even though she wasn’t sure about the joke. “What?”
“You’re always apologizing. Rowan, you are the nicest person I know. You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“I thought you might be struggling with how you were going to turn me down without hurting my feelings. The last thing I want is to add to your problems.”
“There you go again, worrying about other people.”
“Well, what about you? You’re the one taking care of your little sister and trying to win custody because you want a better life for her than she would get with her mother. Not many young, single professionals would feel that way.”
“Becca means a lot to me.”
“And you mean a lot to her. That’s why I think we should get married. And I’m not being entirely altruistic. I’ve somehow gotten myself wedged into a life I never wanted. This way, I could start over.”
Zack shook his head. “I spent my life watching my father’s marriages and the chaos he left behind. I decided a long time ago that marriage isn’t for me.”
“I’m not talking about a real marriage. Just an arrangement between friends. You need a wife to help you get custody of Becca, and I need a fresh start. Once you have custody and I’ve had a chance to figure out what I want to do with my life, we could get an annulment.”
“So, you’re proposing—”
“Marriage in name only. You have a guest room, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well, then, I could live here and take care of grocery shopping, cooking and chauffeuring Becca, and it would give me a home base to work on organizing the fundraiser.”
“But you have an important job in Tokyo.”
“I have a job in Tokyo. I’d hardly call it important. Honestly, my boss would probably be thrilled if I quit. Of course, that means I wouldn’t have a paycheck, but thanks to my grandmother, I am part owner of Now and Forever Farms, and we’ve reached the point of paying out a small quarterly dividend. It’s not making us rich, but it is enough for me to pitch in for my share of household expenses.”
“I’m not worried about household expenses—”
“Maybe you should be, at least until this fundraiser happens. Maggie told me about you covering the wildlife center’s bills with your own money.”
“Rowan, it means the world to me that you’ve offered, but I can’t let you do this. You’d be giving up too much.”
“What would I be giving up? A job I don’t like? Having my mother looking over my shoulder all the time?”
“What if you met a man you want to marry for real?”
“I’m thirty-two, and it hasn’t happened yet. I need to get myself together before I think about marriage.”
“And how, exactly, would taking on my problems help you get yourself together?”
“I’ve lived my whole life in my mother’s shadow. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a great mom and she loves me. But she’s never allowed me to...struggle, I guess would be the word. She smooths the path in front of me and steers me the way she thinks I should go. It’s time to start making my own decisions.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And your first decision is a fake marriage?”
“I know it sounds strange. But I really do care about you and Becca. Look at it this way. A lot of people take a gap year between high school and college, or between college and starting a career. We could commit to a year, where I help with Becca and you give me time to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.”
“Becca already adores you. What happens when you leave in a year?”
“It will be hard, for both of us. But when you hire a nanny, they’re not committed to staying forever, right? It’s kind of the same thing.” She touched his arm. “I’ll leave you now. Thank you for a wonderful dinner. Think about what I’ve said.”
How could he think about anything else?
* * *
“READY, BECKS?” Zack called up the stairs the next morning. They needed to be out in ten minutes if she and Charlotte were going to arrive at camp on time. He took the final swig of coffee from his third cup. He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, turning over Rowan’s proposal in his mind. Not that he could take her up on it. Could he?
“I want a ponytail,” Becca called.
“Then hurry. Come down once you’re dressed and I’ll fix it.” His phone rang. Clarissa. Great. He had neither time nor patience to deal with her, but he answered anyway. “Good morning.”
“I need another advance.” Well, no one could say she wasted his time.
“Did you see the deposit I put in your account a couple of weeks ago?”
“I need more. I’m entitled to it.”
“Fine, how much?”
The figure she mentioned would buy a lot of animal feed. His father had been a wealthy man, but at the rate Clarissa was spending, she’d run out of money in—Zack did a rough calculation in his head—ten years or so. He considered mentioning that she was burning through her money at an unsustainable rate, but what would that accomplish? “I’ll take care of it.”
“What’s the delay with settling the estate, anyway? It’s my money, according to the law. I shouldn’t have to beg you for it.”
“Legal stuff always takes time.” Especially when the only will to turn up was completely out of date. “You should have the advance in your account within a week or so.”
“Good.”
“I want a braid, instead, okay, Zack?” Becca called as she trotted down the stairs. “Oh, who are you talking to?”
“Your mother. Here.” He took the brush and hair tie from Becca’s hands and handed her his cell phone. He’d let Becca believe Clarissa had called to talk to her.
“Mommy?” Becca listened while Zack brushed her hair smooth and separated it into three sections. He’d become surprisingly good at braiding hair in the last couple of months.
“Uh-huh... Oh...” He couldn’t help but notice Becca wasn’t answering any questions. She squirmed as though she was eager to get away from the phone, which made the braid come out crooked, but he didn’t have time to do it again. Zack was just twisting the elastic onto the end when Becca said, “Bye, Mommy.”
He took the phone from her hand and held it to his ear. “We need to go, Clarissa. Was there anything else?”
“Just the money. Thank you for taking care of Becca for me. Cheers.” She ended the call.
Was it Zack’s imagination, or did she put emphasis on the “for me” part of that last sentence? But he didn’t have time to think about it right now. He fed the cat, gathered his phone and keys and stuffed the lunch he’d assembled last night into Becca’s backpack.
“Ready?” he asked Becca, who was still standing where he’d left her, staring at the wall.
She looked up. “What?”
“I asked if you’re ready to go.” He handed her the backpack. “You okay, Becks?”
She nodded and followed him to the garage, but her mind still seemed far away. He opened the door of the truck and herded Becca and Ripley into the back seat. “What did your mom have to say?”
“She said I’d like swimming in the ocean. But I don’t know how to swim.”
He wasn’t sure if she was upset because she couldn’t swim, or if she’d picked up on the hint that Clarissa might be considering taking her there. He tried not to react. “Next week your age group at camp is supposed to start swim lessons at the high school. I’ll bet you’ll be a good swimmer.”
“I don’t have a swimsuit.”
“Do you have one at the house?” Meaning Dad and Clarissa’s house. Zack had brought most of Becca’s clothes over, but s
he might have left things like sandals and swimsuits behind.
“I don’t know.”
“You know, you’ve grown so much since last summer, you’ll probably need a new one, anyway. I’ll take you shopping on Saturday.”
“On Saturday, I’m going with Rowan to see the baby goats.” Her voice brightened. “Maybe Rowan can take me shopping. She’d be better. She has pretty clothes.”
He glanced at his work pants and T-shirt and laughed. “Are you saying I don’t have pretty clothes?”
“You’re with animals all the time. You’re not supposed to have pretty clothes.”
“Good point. Well, I can ask Rowan if she has time.”
“I’ll bet she will. She’s really nice.”
“Yes.” If she only knew. Rowan was the most selfless person he’d ever been around, and that concerned him. She needed to realize that her own needs and wants were just as important as anyone else’s. Including his and Becca’s.
Just before they reached Jessie and Greg’s house to pick up Charlotte, Becca spoke again. “Zack?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t want to go swimming in an ocean with Mommy. I want to stay with you.”
Zack didn’t want to make promises he couldn’t keep, but he couldn’t let Becca continue to live with this hanging over her head. “I want you to stay with me, too.” He pulled into the driveway, stopped the truck and turned to look Becca in the eye. “I’ll figure out a way, Becks. Just leave it to me. Okay?”
“Okay.” He could see the tension melting from her shoulders. She trusted him, trusted that he would take care of her. Now he had to find a way to make it happen. Whatever it took, he wasn’t going to let Becca down.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“WE’LL PLAY WITH the goats and then eat at the tasting room before we go shopping,” Rowan said, while Zack strapped Becca’s booster seat into the back of Patrick’s old jeep.
“Sounds good. I got a call that someone is bringing in a lynx kitten. It doesn’t sound too serious. If it goes well, I can pick Becca up in two hours or so. Will that work?”
“Can we have a little longer? It’s not easy to find the perfect swimsuit. We’ll probably need to go to Wasilla. I can bring her home when we’re done.”
He laid a hand on Becca’s shoulder. “Are you okay with that?” For a moment Rowan wondered about his serious tone, but then she remembered he’d said Becca liked to know exactly when things would happen.
But today Becca’s mood seemed carefree. “Yes! I want to play with the goats and go shopping with Rowan.”
“Okay, then. I’ll probably be in the wildlife center, so call when you’re on your way back.”
“We will.” Rowan was already helping Becca buckle up. “Good luck with the lynx.”
On the drive to the farm, Becca chattered about Charlotte and the hikes they had been doing at camp. “We saw baby ducks. Did you know you’re not supposed to feed ducks bread? That’s what my counselor says.”
“I’ve heard that.”
“Next week is our turn to go to the swimming pool at the high school for lessons. That’s why I need to get a swimsuit. I’ve been to the pool before, but I had to stay in the shallow part, because I can’t swim. Charlotte’s daddy taught her to swim already, so she’ll be in a different class than me. Charlotte’s swimsuit has a unicorn on it.”
“Do you like unicorns?”
“I like real animals better. Maybe I could find one with a moose. Moose like to swim. They have hollow hair that helps them float. And they can close their noses while they eat plants underwater.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Zack told me. He knows a whole lot about animals. He’s the best brother in the whole world.”
“I’ll have to tell him you said that. I’ve got a pretty good brother, too. His name is Patrick.”
“Does he know all about moose?”
“I don’t know, but he’s learned an awful lot about goats since he met Lauren, his wife. He’s also an electrician and he’s working on the North Slope this week, so you won’t get to meet him, but you’ll meet Lauren today.” Rowan pulled up in the parking area. “In fact, there she is.”
Lauren led a mother goat with a bell on her collar toward the enclosed area where they did goat yoga. Three kids followed along, prancing and dodging as they went. Becca giggled. “They’re so cute. That one has a black circle around one eye.”
“Yes,” Rowan said. “Oh, there’s Gran and her dog, Wilson. Let me introduce you.”
Everyone was delighted to meet Becca, especially Wilson, who wiggled his long body in delight when Becca petted him. “My friends are meeting me later at the tasting room,” Gran told Becca. “I hope you’ll join us for some of Lauren’s yummy cheese.”
“That’s the plan,” Rowan said. “But first Becca wants to meet the goats.”
“Then come right over here.” Lauren let Becca and Rowan into the pen. “This is Spritz,” she told Becca. “She’s very good at escaping, so we put a bell on her to help us find her.”
Spritz was a character. The goat had served as ring bearer at Patrick and Lauren’s outdoor wedding, although the way she was clinging to Patrick that day, Rowan had wondered if Spritz thought she was the bride.
“And these are Spritz’s three kids,” Lauren continued. “Lemon Tart, Thumbprint and Gingersnap.”
Becca stroked her hands over the kids and giggled when one tried to suck on her finger. “I like the farm because I can pet the animals. I can’t pet any of the animals at the wildlife center, because they’re wild. Except Puddin, and I can’t pet her because she’s a porcupine.”
“A sticky problem.” Gran laughed at her own joke.
Becca, Lauren and Rowan played with the kids. Gran sat on a bench just outside the goats’ pen and held Wilson on her lap while she and Becca had an animated conversation about farm animals.
The rest of the Mat Mates arrived early and came to see what Gran was up to. She introduced them to Becca.
“I’m glad to meet you, Becca. Do you have a library card?” Linda asked her. “Your brother used to come to the library every Saturday when he was your age.” She dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “There was a limit of three books at a time, but sometimes I’d let him take an extra one or two to get him through the week.”
“I like reading, too.”
“What are you reading, now?”
“A book about pirates,” Becca answered. She and Linda discussed books while petting the kids. It was interesting to note that, even though Linda was long retired, she still recognized many of the children’s books Becca mentioned. When it was time to open the tasting room, Lauren returned the goats to their pasture while Rowan took Becca to wash her hands. They sat at a table where the Mat Mates had already set out three cheese and fruit platters.
“Have you ever done yoga?” Gran asked Becca as she passed her some cheese and grapes.
“We did it at school once,” Becca said.
“The six of us come to goat yoga here on Sunday afternoons,” Gran told Becca. “You’ll have to try it sometime.”
“Can we, Rowan?”
“I’ll ask Zack.”
“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” Bea asked Becca.
“Me and Rowan are going shopping, ’cause I need a swimsuit for swim lessons at camp next week.”
“Good for you,” Gran told her. “Rowan told me you’re learning to cook, too. You’re learning all sorts of important skills this summer. What kind of cookies did you end up making?”
While Becca told Gran all about the cookie making, Rosemary handed Rowan a slip of paper. “A friend of mine who owns a plant nursery in Anchorage wants to donate to the auction. Give her a call.”
“That’s great. Thanks!” Rowan tucked the paper in her pocket and told Rosemary an
d Molly about the timeshare. She had just accepted Molly’s offer to create a poster for the fundraiser when Rowan was shocked to see a familiar figure walking toward the table. “Mom?”
Gran turned in her seat. “Renee! I had no idea you were coming.”
“Don’t get up.” Mom bent to kiss Gran’s cheek. “Rowan stayed away for so long, I thought I’d better come check in person. You look well.”
“I am. You remember my friends.” While Gran rattled off everyone’s name, Rowan scrambled to her feet. “And this is Becca Vogel, Rowan’s guest today.” Gran finished the introductions. “Sit down. Try some cheese.”
“It’s good to see you ladies again. Hello, Becca. I’m glad to meet you.”
“Hi.” Becca looked uncertain, as though she could sense the sudden tension.
“How are you, Rowan?” Mom came around the table and opened her arms.
Rowan hugged her mother, catching a whiff of Shalimar. Her mother’s signature scent usually reassured Rowan, but today the perfume seemed overwhelming. “I’m fine.”
“I’m glad. I’ve been concerned. Let’s—”
“Rowan,” Gran interrupted, looking at her watch. “You and Becca had better get moving if you’re going to make it on time.”
Rowan hesitated momentarily before she caught on. “You’re right. I hadn’t realized how late it had gotten. I’m sorry, Mom, but I have another engagement. We can talk later. How long are you staying?”
“I haven’t decided.” Mom gave her that unblinking look that indicated she’d stay as long as it took.
“I’ll be back by dinnertime, so I’ll see you this evening. Come on, Becca. Let’s go.” She took Becca’s hand and hurried her away before she could ask questions in front of Mom.
“Are we still going shopping?” Becca asked innocently as they climbed into the jeep.
“Absolutely. Shopping is the engagement I mentioned to my Mom. Are you hungry?” Rowan asked as she realized she’d dragged Becca away before she could eat her cheese. “We can have lunch before we shop. What sounds good? Pizza? Burgers? Tacos?”
Harlequin Heartwarming June 2021 Box Set Page 34
