His eyes moved to the bare walls, painted a glossy white to ward off stains. He heard another pair of footsteps coming down the hallway.
Before long, another lady came in. This one was in a blouse and skirt. She said she was from the Department of Human Services and started off by claiming she was “here to help.”
The next thing Hakiam knew, other people were coming in with more questions. Men with suits and shiny shoes.
“How did she fall?”
Leesa’s mouth twisted before she said, “She don’t fall, she rolled.”
“Haven’t you heard of guardrails?”
“That costs money, which I don’t have,” Leesa said. “Is this the time for a lecture?”
“Certain things are normal in a child’s life, Miss Powell. The common cold, ear infections … but falling off a bed in one room while you carry on at a party in the next room is not.”
“It was an accident!” Leesa said, pounding her fist on the table.
“Either way. X-rays are dangerous on someone that young,” the woman said.
Leesa turned away.
“What do you have to say?” one of the social workers asked Hakiam.
Hakiam kept his chin up and looked past them to a place on the white wall on the other side of the room. “It was an accident. She just fell.”
After more note-taking on their part, they left.
Leesa punched Hakiam on the arm. “You didn’t sound very convincing.”
“I told them it wasn’t on purpose. What else do you want me to say?”
“Just don’t say anything. Keep your mouth shut!”
Hakiam absorbed her anger and thought, This is nothing. Malikia is the one really going through it. He imagined how it must have felt crashing to the floor.
37
The next day was Sunday, which meant a fatter newspaper for Mr. Anderson, and he could take his time with breakfast. He usually had granola cereal with dates. Wendy knew his movements inside and out, and despite all the strife of the previous night, nothing had changed.
He spent the rest of the morning fiddling with white eyelet curtains. The fact that they were summer sheer, and here it was late November, was the reason he had finally found them at a price he was willing to pay, Wendy guessed.
She stood behind him for a long time without him turning around. It was like a comedy routine watching him try to hang them all by himself. The bay windows in the living room gave him quite a time.
“Well, are you going to stand there all day or are you going to help your father out?”
Wendy shifted positions and told him, “I’ll just stand here.”
He had his back to her, which made it easier to say that, but of course it was a joke. Or rather a dig. She grabbed a rod and inched the fabric onto it. He took the other end, and together they finished the front side of the house.
As they went to work on the south entrance, carrying the stepladder and the rest of the curtains, Wendy sighed and told him, “Thanks for coming with me to the hospital last night.”
He didn’t say anything. They began working side by side, and her dad suddenly spoke as if he were reading from a fortune cookie: “Sons aren’t forever, but daughters are supposed to be.”
“I’ll always be your daughter, Dad,” Wendy said, climbing up the ladder. Then she added under her breath, “Unfortunately.”
As they finished up, her dad made a big deal about how Wendy had left an empty bag on the floor and what was the use of redecorating with an eyesore like that lying around.
At that point, Wendy thought, So much for turning over a new leaf with all this impromptu father-daughter bonding.
“See you later, Dad,” she said, and headed for the stairs.
“Wendy,” he called to her.
Now what? she wondered.
He spoke in a quiet voice, but it was his voice all the same. “When you get a status update about the baby, let me know.”
38
The bedspread was twisted around Leesa, who was in a deep sleep. It was one hour past noon. She had pressed the back of her hand over her eyes to block out the sun.
Hakiam couldn’t sleep. They had just gotten back from the hospital and he couldn’t even sit still. He had to walk. He had to pace and pace. And when he did sit down, Leesa’s cell was next to his wrist on the table.
Two people from the party last night had come back over: the girl in a tube top who had been passing food, and another girl who had been in a halter top. They looked beat, but it was probably more from the partying than the worry. They weren’t just pretending to look at TV; they were watching it.
Around three in the afternoon, Leesa emerged from her bedroom. She didn’t look particularly lost or found; she just joined them on the couch.
Hakiam looked at his cousin with disappointment, then disgust. Since last night, something had shifted in him. He finally got it.
He went out into the hall to make more worry rounds.
When he came back in, his belongings were piled by the door in a paper shopping bag.
“What the hell is this?” he asked.
“What does it look like?” Leesa said.
“Your daughter could have died last night.”
“Yeah, but she didn’t. She’s fine. The doctor just called while you were out.”
“She’s fine? She’s conscious and everything?”
Leesa let out an exasperated sigh. “She’s conscious and everything.”
“Well, ain’t you gonna go pick her up?”
“My mom’s gonna. She’s taking her in.”
“So she’s not even gonna live here? That’s why I’m getting the shove out the door. You are a goddamn bitch, you know that?”
The girl in the tube top said, “Hey, man, we’re trying to watch the show.”
“Shut up, you, and mind your business.”
He turned back to his cousin and looked her dead in the eye.
“You gonna just do me like this? I was nice to your daughter. I never meant you any harm.”
Leesa didn’t blink once as she told him, “Tell the truth for five seconds—you came here for a free lunch. You wanted it all to go your way. You wanted it all to be easy.”
She walked over to the door and opened it.
“You bagged my shit on up to tell me to get out of here? Leesa, you’re really gonna do me like this? After I watched your kid for free?”
“Yeah, and she landed in the hospital, so thanks a lot.”
Hakiam looked from his belongings to his cousin, then back to the paper sack. He grabbed his things and told her, “It’s been real.”
39
Wendy answered on the first ring.
“Where are you calling from? The hospital?” she asked.
“No, I got put out on the street.”
“Don’t tell me Leesa is still blaming you.”
“Who else would she blame?”
“How is Malikia?” she asked.
“She woke up.”
“Good. Is she able to have visitors yet?”
“I don’t know. She’s going to stay with my aunt for a while.”
“Your aunt who’s into church?”
“Yep.”
“Well, that could be the answer. See if she’ll take you in too.”
“I don’t know, maybe I’ll start my job search again. Maybe I’ll get lucky this time.”
“You can’t live at your job. Where will you sleep?” she asked him. Her own mind was searching for an answer. He could try a temporary shelter—but would he want to get mixed up with the system again? With social workers and counselors and the database entries? Hakiam needed a family, not a program.
Meanwhile, Hakiam said nothing. It felt like one of those awkward pauses they’d had when they first met.
“I’m just glad Malikia will be all right,” he finally said.
Wendy nodded. “You know, when they say kids have hard heads, they’re not kidding, Hakiam. Those skull bones don’t join togeth
er till later in life. Sometimes falls aren’t as bad as you think.”
“Wendy, I can count on one hand the number of people in my life who give a damn. Thanks for coming when I called you. Thanks for giving a shit about Malikia.”
A tear came to her eye and she quickly blinked it away.
“I’ll always give a shit about Malikia, Hakiam. I’ll always give a shit about you, too.”
“I guess I’ll see you at the center, Wendy.”
“The center?” she asked incredulously.
“Yeah, you know, the place you volunteer at.”
Her voice rose. “You’re homeless and you have no source of income.”
“Yeah,” he said.
“What are you going to do? You can’t stay on the street.” That was the last thing she was able to transmit to him before his quarter on the pay phone ran out.
The line went dead. Her mind buzzed with more questions. Where was he? What was he going to do with very little money and no place to live? Would she ever see him again?
40
Somewhere in the back of his mind he always knew he’d end up in a hobo jungle. Where else did people who didn’t have a net end up? When they fell, they hit the pavement.
It was sort of like that movie with Will Smith and his son. Hakiam could now look forward to spending the night in a toilet stall, but would there be a light at the end of the tunnel, like in that flick? Would he get a six-figure corporate job? Or an Oscar nomination?
Hakiam left Leesa’s hood and its police sirens and ambulance cries, its basketballs bouncing and children screaming and doors opening and closing. He headed for downtown, because why be homeless around a bunch of poor people?
He hopped a turnstile and snuck onto an elevated train. He rode to the end of the line, which was downtown, then switched to another line. His goals were to stay warm and to stay out of the elements.
For a minute or two, he wished for seventy-five bucks. If he had that, he could catch a Greyhound bus back to Cincinnati and start all over again. Again.
After the third merry-go-round on the train, he had to stretch his legs. They felt thick and his butt was numb. He had to get out and move.
He got out at Sixteenth.
Rain fell heavy and fast from the sky. The street was washing out; the sky had opened. From the newsstand, he took a free Metro newspaper and put it over his head. It was soaked limp within moments. He was still hungry.
Down the street, a hotel doorman was gesturing to him.
Hakiam put his hand to his chest, asking, “You want me?”
The man kept waving.
Hakiam stepped closer to him. “What did you say?” he asked the man in coat and tails.
The doorman told him, “You need an umbrella.”
Now he was wet, hungry, and broke. Night had fallen, and the hour he’d spent walking aimlessly in the rain hadn’t helped at all.
He would have loved to have anything to eat. A sandwich—didn’t matter what was stuck in the middle. Turkey. Baloney. A swipe of peanut butter.
A slice of cheese, even.
Libraries closed at eight. Stores in the city closed at ten, but they hustled everyone out by nine-forty-five. And this being Sunday, they closed even earlier.
So he walked some more. Taxicabs and buses passed him.
The neon signs flashed. He’d never noticed how many tall buildings Philly had till then.
He ended up in a twenty-four-hour laundry.
He got a hot cup of coffee from the vending machine for twenty-five cents. He put in three more quarters and got a danish wrapped in plastic.
It was hard to bite into.
Hakiam noticed her the minute she walked in, a girl with a splash of blond hair and twinkling green eyes. She was the kind of girl he always had his eyes peeled for back in the day.
She put a load in the wash and took a seat near him on the bench, placing her handbag at her feet.
She had an iPod in her ears and her laptop was absorbing her attention. All he had to do was the old bump-and-swoop. He bet she had a few fives, maybe even a few twenties in her purse.
Hakiam thought about it and thought about it. It was almost like God (or some other all-seeing being who knew Hakiam was desperate) had sent her here to solve his problems.
All he had to do was reach out and take it.
But he couldn’t get his body to cooperate. Temporary paralysis took over, and when he recovered, all he could do was tap her shoulder.
She took out her earplugs and turned to him with a warm smile.
“Your bag’s on the floor.”
“Oh,” she said, like it was the farthest thing from her mind. “Thank you.”
His smirk morphed into a smile back at her.
41
Wendy emptied her head during a history exam, traded ideas in her English literature peer group, and wrote a theorem on the board when her name was called in calculus. Thanks to a crazy global-warming day, she was spending lunch with Erin out on the school’s rolling lawn.
“I’ve fallen out of bed before. I even fell out of a bunk bed—the top I bunk,” Erin said.
“I’m sure you weren’t an infant at the time.”
“It’s a shame.” Erin nodded, shading her eyes from the sun. “So your dad really let Leesa have it.”
“It wasn’t very productive. He was just venting at her and Hakiam.”
“Why Hakiam? He sounds like the hero in all this.”
Wendy frowned and put things concisely: “It’s guilt by association.”
“Uh-oh. So, where does that leave you and Hakiam?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even know where he is. Leesa kicked him out of her apartment. That just puts a nice little cherry on top of the sundae,” Wendy said, listlessly spooning through her yogurt and granola.
Erin’s eyebrows knitted together as she stilled her friend’s hands. “Kyle and I had a blast that night. I hope we can all hang out again. Be sure to tell him that when you see him.”
At the end of the school day, Wendy stopped by the Lower Merion post office. When she got up to the window, she found out that the application she was sending weighed a whopping one pound, five ounces.
“Howard, eh?” the bespectacled man behind the counter asked, reading the address.
“Yes,” Wendy answered.
“I hope you get in,” he said with a bright smile. “How would you like to send this?”
“Express, please.”
42
Hakiam had stayed up all night. The sun rising in the morning, with birds flying through the trees, wasn’t necessarily the most beautiful sight to him. But at least he had a few things scheduled.
He went to the downtown mall between Eighth and Tenth and took the escalator to the ground floor, where the food court was. Mickey D’s stood there, shining like a yellow and red beacon, exuding the smell of coffee and Egg McMuffins and hash browns.
He entered the store and stood off to the side till the manager noticed him. The moonfaced woman asked, “May I help you?”
“I need a job, like now,” he told her.
“Right this minute?”
“Yep.”
“Did you fill out an application?”
“Not here, but a few weeks ago I went up and down Chestnut Street. I ain’t heard nothing.”
“But you didn’t apply here?”
“Look,” Hakiam said, “I—I want a job. I do. I know this ain’t the right way to go about things but I’m nearly out of money, so if you need someone to do whatever you do here, I’ll do it. Cuz I’m almost out of money.”
He could tell the woman was trying hard to keep her jaw from dropping open. Finally, she gave him a half smile and said, “Well, we could always use a hand.”
After giving him paperwork that she said he could fill out during his lunch break, she showed him to the mop closet, where the rags and disinfectants were stored. His first task was to wipe down the tables from the breakfast rush.
As he
trudged his way through the paces of his new job, cleaning off crumbs and spilled orange juice, he spent the first hour in a state of shock. It was unbelievable to him that he’d actually been hired. All he did was ask!
He looked at the patrons. They didn’t really look back; there was no real connection. His role relegated him to being the proverbial fly on the wall, and that was fine with him. Hakiam moved on to putting the straws in the dispensers and the wad of napkins into the canisters, and before he knew it, it was time to punch out.
He was one for one. He decided to press his luck.
He caught a bus heading west and got out near Catharine Street.
He walked quickly on the cold streets, passing morose faces, church spires, and leafless trees.
After he made it to her address, he paused before ringing the bell. He took a deep breath.
The door opened.
“Hakiam, Hakiam, it’s been so long, too long. I had a feeling you’d be coming by. Every lost sheep comes back into the fold. I’ve been praying about it,” she said, and held her arms out.
“I didn’t even get a chance to ring—”
“I saw you clear down the block.”
Hakiam accepted her tight hug. She was a thin woman, covered up in a long-sleeved shirt and a skirt to her ankles. Her Afro was gathered in a headband.
She started to say her signature line: “God is great—”
“All the time,” Hakiam finished for her.
“I’m glad you came. Let me get you something to eat—”
“Don’t go to the trouble.”
“It’s no trouble, Hakiam. I’m happy to do it.” She left the hall and went into the kitchen. Hakiam followed and steadied her hand before she was able to reach for anything on the shelf.
“I just wanted to see Malikia,” he told her.
She nodded and led him upstairs to Malikia’s bedroom. “She’s been asleep for most of the afternoon. The doctor said that’s good.”
Hakiam’s heart started pounding hard. Aunt Josephine had the crib set up in the center of the room. Beside that she had a rocking chair with a Bible placed on the armrest. It was open to Matthew, chapter 18.
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