Alissa took her glass and took a small sip. I threw my drink back like it was going to expire before I could get it to my lips. I sat the glass down and poured another.
Her eyes doubled in size. “Okay, you have to tell me what’s going on.” She leaned forward in her chair and pushed her long blonde hair behind her ears.
“What makes you think something is wrong?” I picked up the glass, swirling the brown liquid, not meeting her gaze.
“Lennox, we’ve known each other for a while now. I know you well enough to know when something is going on. Not to mention, you only drink this way when something is bothering you. Spill it.” Her blue eyes pierced into me as her eyebrows rose.
I sat down my drink and laid my head on the glass desk. “I can’t marry him.” I shook my head while willing the tears away. I couldn’t look at her. She knew me better than anyone, well, almost anyone. I knew if she saw me break down she would be concerned.
“What? Why? I thought you guys couldn’t keep your hands off one another?”
Just hearing that made my stomach roll.
Finally, I picked my head up off the desk and forced my eyes to hers. “I never intended on letting it get this serious. He was supposed to be temporary. Then he proposed, and I said yes? What the fuck is wrong with me? What am I going to do?” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the desk and holding my head in my hands.
“There’s something else, isn’t there?” She leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs.
“Well, he sort of smacked me today.”
She sat up quickly and sat her drink down with a little too much force. “What? Why?” Before I could explain, she was up pacing the floor.
I leaned back in my chair so my eyes could follow her pacing. “I don’t know. We were okay last night, I stayed over. Then this morning, I woke up and took a shower. When I came back to the bedroom to get dressed, he pulled me down into bed,” I looked at the brown liquid in my glass, it was calling my name. “When I showed my lack of interest for morning sex, he got mad and slapped me across the face.” I tossed back what was left in the glass.
“Has he ever done anything like this before?” Alissa finished her drink and slid the empty glass back to me.
I refilled both before sliding it back. “No, I mean, he’s always seemed to have anger issues. He would lose his temper at the drop of a hat, but never with me. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t call off the engagement one day after I’ve accepted, but I can’t marry him either. What do I do?”
Alissa finally took her seat across from me. “I really don’t know,” she shook her head. “Have you talked to him since? Do you think it was an accident or something?” Alissa was reaching, trying to process any way she could.
“It wasn’t an accident.”
We sat in silence for what seemed like hours, thinking over the situation.
Finally, Alissa broke the silence. “I don’t know what to tell you to do. I understand why you feel like you can’t break the engagement, but you can’t marry him either. What if he does it again?”
“I don’t know anymore,” I poured myself one more drink and tossed it back. “I think I should get some sleep.” I needed time alone.
“Okay, I will see you in the morning. Call me if you need anything.” She leaned in, giving me a hug.
After locking up behind her, I made my way back to the office and turned on the computer. I searched Mason’s page once again.
I looked at the picture I had seen before, of the two of them. I studied over the image. Mason looked happy, his ice-blue eyes were bright. He had let his facial hair grow out just enough to give him a rugged, sexy appearance and his dark hair was no longer shaved short, it had a longer, messier look to it. He looked good. He looked older and even sexier than he did before. I looked at his cocky grin and a shiver ran up my spine, just from thinking about where those lips had been.
Then, I turned my attention to her. She had a round face, almost childlike. She had green eyes, but darker than mine, and her dark brown curls fell over one shoulder. She was pretty, but not pretty enough for Mason. I got annoyed looking at her face and forced myself to keep scrolling.
There were several more pictures I came across. One of Mason on a boat, he was looking out over the ocean with the sun setting, casting an orange glow across the water.
The second was a picture of Mason sitting behind his desk at work and another of him sitting on his balcony. I missed that balcony.
Then the last picture turned my stomach.
It was a picture of Mason and her. They were cuddled up close. The top of Mason’s shirtless chest was showing in the picture and so was her bare shoulders. I could see the edge of a blanket they had thrown over them. I could tell by the look in his eyes that they had just had sex. I remembered that look like I remembered my name. That glossed over, hazy look haunted my dreams.
Feeling angry and confused, I shut the computer off and grabbed the bottle of Jack.
I went to my room where I stripped off my clothes and crawled into bed, alone. Well, not completely alone, I had Jack.
Tears escaped my eyes as I laid on my bed, rubbing my thumb back and forth across the black label.
I had everything any girl would want, I had love.
True love. The kind that only comes around once in a lifetime if you’re lucky. I thought about the first time we met and how we couldn’t take our eyes off one another. Our first date where I talked him into getting me a shot and watching his eyes light up as he laughed because I made a face at the horrible taste.
The boat, on the same night where we got a little too close. I remembered the burning desire in his eyes when he pulled away from me.
The first time we made love, and I gave him my virginity. I remembered his hesitation and the soft way he touched me. Just the thought of his rough fingertips trailing over my skin brought on goosebumps.
I brought the bottle to my lips and took a long drink. I welcomed the burn, knowing it would make me go numb soon.
Numb was familiar to me. It was basically the only thing I had felt since I had left him. If it wasn’t pain, sadness, or regret, it was numbness. It was probably the only way I had managed to stay away as long as I had.
“Tell me to stay,” I whispered.
Mason placed the palm of his hand on my cheek. “I can’t do that. I love you too much to ever ask that of you. Please, understand why I can’t say those words.” His eyes were pleading with me.
I placed my hand over his that was still on my cheek and nodded while more tears fell freely.
“I love you,” he whispered as he moved in for a kiss.
“I love you, too.”
I woke from the light invading my dreams of when Mason and I were together. I sat up to find the bottle of Jack still in my hand. I looked at the bottle, black label peeling off, brown liquid begging to be drunk, I unscrewed the cap and took a drink.
Way to go, Lennox. You can finally classify yourself as an alcoholic. Not even out of bed and drinking whiskey? What the fuck is wrong with me?
My phone started ringing and I glanced at it on the bedside table, but didn’t bother reaching for it. The minute it silenced, it started again. I knew it wouldn’t stop. Finally, I sat the bottle down and answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Lennox, I’m so sorry. Please talk to me, babe.” Chris’ voice was thick and heavy.
“What do you want me to say, Chris?” I threw myself back against the soft pillows that didn’t want me to leave them.
“Say you forgive me. I don’t know what the fuck happened yesterday, but I promise, it will never happen again. I don’t know what got into me. Please say you forgive me. Don’t leave me, babe. I couldn’t stand losing you. Will you go to lunch with me so I can show you how sorry I am?”
“I don’t know, Chris. I’m not feeling well.” He didn’t need to know that I drank half a bottle of Jack all to myself while fantasizing about my ex.
“Th
en I will bring lunch to you. We can hang out in bed, watch TV, and eat. I just need to see you. Please?” he pleaded.
“Okay. I want Chinese food.”
“I will bring all your favorites. I love you, babe. I will be there soon.”
I tossed the phone down beside me before reaching back for my bottle of Jack.
I unscrewed the cap slowly, thinking about Mason, my past, my future, and Chris. I took a long drink.
It burned its way down my throat again. It was something I longed for. It was something I always reached for, knowing it would numb the pain.
I know what you’re thinking. Poor superstar, she can’t handle being rich and famous. The truth was, I couldn’t. I hated it in fact. I hated the person it turned me into. I didn’t even recognize my own reflection anymore. I didn’t want to live in a penthouse apartment. I didn’t want to be followed by bodyguards. I didn’t want Chris or the engagement I had somehow stumbled into.
The only thing I wanted was my past. I wanted Mason. I wanted to be happy and loved.
Seeing the pictures of Mason happy with another woman, it felt like leaving him all over again. Just thinking of that picture made my chest hurt. I took one last drink before hiding the bottle in my nightstand.
I forced myself from the bed and took a quick shower.
Shortly after, Chris showed up with two bags full of takeout. We cuddled up in bed, ate, and watched a movie. I didn’t bring up what happened the day before.
I know, I was a dumbass, but after seeing the pictures of Mason, I just needed someone to be with.
I was lonely. Even Chis’ presence wasn’t enough to fill the void, but it was better than a bottle of whiskey. I knew there was only one person that could fill the void inside of me, and it was time that I admitted it.
Chris acted like nothing had happened after saying what he did on the phone. We both took the day off and just hung out together. In a way, it was nice. It was almost like we were just a regular couple. We ate and watched TV before falling asleep in each other’s arms. It wasn’t the arms I wanted, but something was better than nothing.
3
Mason
Nicole and I had been together for three months and honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was nice having someone around to share things with. I had been single for far too long.
I forgot what it was like to fall asleep holding someone close to me. To have that same someone wake up next to me and just to have someone around to talk to and be with.
Nicole rolled over and wrapped her arms around me. “Good morning, babe.”
“Good morning, how’d you sleep?” I asked pulling her in closer, happy just to have the contact with someone.
“Like a baby.” She stretched and pressed her lips to mine.
Our kisses led to other things like they so often did and by the time we finally managed to get away from one another, I was late for work.
I showered at record speed and kissed Nicole before leaving her to get cleaned up.
I walked into the shop an hour late. The bell above the door rang and Joey’s eyes landed on me. “It’s about time you came in, this place is falling apart without you,”
Pouring myself a cup of coffee, I turned to look at her. “What’s going on?”
“Some kind of mix up with the boats. Then we’ve had two break down today, so they need to be worked on. Also, your brother has called three times already looking for you.”
I hung my head and went to see what the mix up was.
I made my way down to the rental counter and pushed open the door to find Trent bent over the counter with his eyes trained on the computer. “What’s going on?”
He stood upright and motioned toward the computer. “The same boat has been rented twice.”
“How the hell did that happen?” I asked walking around the counter to look at the screen.
“I don’t know man, it was picked up this morning and not even twenty minutes later, someone else came with a reservation slip to pick it up.”
I leaned over to look at the screen. “Where’s the boat now?”
“On the water and won’t be back until five.”
“What time was the other guy supposed to pick it up?”
“First thing, man. I sent him up to the bar for breakfast on you while we figure this thing out.”
I sat down and clicked around on the computer. Sure enough, the same boat had been reserved twice for the same day and same time. “How the fuck does this happen? The system shouldn’t allow it,” I began clicking on anything to try to magically fix the problem. It didn’t work. “Is the boat reserved for tomorrow?”
“No, it’s open but I’ve already offered and he won’t be here tomorrow. He’s on vacation and he’s leaving first thing in the morning.”
“Do we have any boats today, besides the two that are down?”
“Yeah, a few actually.” Trent took the mouse from me and brought up the options we had available.
“Okay, give him a free upgrade. That’s the only thing we can do. Make sure you apologize and be polite. If he doesn’t like the offer, he can leave.” I pushed away from the desk.
Trent handed me the keys to the two boats that needed to be repaired and I made my way out to the dock to see what I could do to get them running.
After spending the morning with my head stuck in a boat motor, I needed a break. My head was starting to hurt and my ears were ringing from sweating my ass off in the sun and not staying hydrated.
I grabbed my shirt, that I removed, and used it to wipe the sweat and grease from my face and hands before making my way into the office for a clean shirt.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and called Nicole to see if she wanted to meet up for lunch. She was already on her way to town and agreed to meet with me.
I made the walk up to the bar and took my usual seat, the same booth Lennox and I always sat in.
Dane rushed to the table. “Mason, what the fuck have you been doing? I’ve called you three times this morning.” He sat down in the booth and slouched back.
“I’ve had a busy morning, what’s up?” I flagged down Wendy and motioned for a beer.
“It’s funny, you know?” Dane had a shit-eating grin on his face and his dark eyes lit up.
“What’s funny?” I asked, in no mood to put up with his bullshit.
“That you finally move on and get a girlfriend months before she comes back to town.” He leaned forward in the booth, resting his elbows on the table.
“What the fuck are you talking about, Dane?”
Wendy brought over my beer and I took a long drink while waiting for him to reply.
“You would never guess who showed up in here last night asking about you, or maybe you could guess.” His smile was still in place as his eyebrows rose.
“Do you actually have something to say or do you want to waste time and give me riddles?” I was beginning to lose my patience until I started catching on to his game. Is he trying to tell me that Lennox is back in town?
“Lennox Madison came in here last night.” He leaned in watching the emotions change on my face.
“Lennox was here?” I asked, tapping my finger on the table.
“Yep.” He nodded his head with a big ass smile, clearly enjoying the moment.
I wiped the expression off my face and sat back. “What was she doing here?” I was trying to play it cool, even though I was anything but.
Dane shrugged. “I don’t know. She came in, had a few drinks, and talked to Wendy.”
“Did she say something about me?” He could tell I was excited by the tone of my voice.
“She asked if you were around and how you had been doing, but that’s it.”
I sat back in the booth and ran my hands through my hair.
Lennox is here, and she’s asking about me. Is she here to stay or is she just visiting her dad?
She had come to town before to see her dad during holidays, but she was always careful a
nd never came to see me. I knew why, but I wondered why she was asking about me after all the years she went avoiding me?
“Well, this shit isn’t nearly as fun as I thought it would be.” Dane stood from his seat and walked back to his office looking disappointed that I didn’t give him the entertainment he was looking for.
Nicole walked in about that time and took the seat that Dane had just evacuated. “What’s going on, babe? You look like you’ve had a rough day.”
I brought my attention back and offered her a small smile. “Nothing, sorry. I was just thinking about some work I need to get done. Are you ready to order?” I asked, hoping she didn’t ask anything more.
She shrugged it off and flipped through the menu.
While eating lunch, Nicole and I talked about her schedule. She was a nurse at the local hospital and it was her turn to work the graveyard shift. That meant I was on my own all weekend. She went on to talk about something else, I tried to listen, but my thoughts kept drifting back to Lennox and the fact that she was in town.
“Mason, did you hear what I said?” Nicole asked, waving her hand in front of my face.
I rubbed my eyes, hoping to rub away any thoughts of Lennox.
I can’t let her come back and turn my life upside down. I finally got some normalcy after all these years.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” I took her hands in mine and offered up an apologetic smile for not paying attention to her.
“I said, my parents asked if we would like to go to dinner on Sunday. Can we do that?” Her eyebrows rose and her eyes were hopeful.
“Wow. Meet the parents?” I didn’t know what to say. I pushed my plate away from me and leaned back in the booth.
“Mason, it’s not like that. They know we’ve been dating for three months and they would like to meet the guy I’m always gushing about. It’s not like we’re getting married or anything.”
I choked on my beer when she said the word, “married.”
Nicole wrinkled her brow and started wiping up the beer that had spewed from my mouth. “Are you okay?” she asked with a concerned look on her face. She could clearly tell I was distracted.
A Second Chance at Forever (Chance #2) Page 3
