I let the hot flow of water run over my sore body, leaving my skin red.
By the time I had gotten out of the shower, my pill had started to kick in, which was good and not so good. It was good because I wasn’t in as much pain, but it was bad because, I hadn’t eaten and that made my stomach churn. I wrapped myself in a towel and left the bathroom.
“Get dressed, we’re going to eat,” I said passing through the hallway.
I made it to my room where I wrapped my ribs before pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
“I’m leaving, if you want food you better move,” I shouted back to Alissa, on my way to the door.
“Fine, but you’re buying,” she said, sprinting from her room.
We got to the bar within minutes instead of the twenty it took the night before.
“God, isn’t there anywhere else in this town to eat?” She crossed her arms, refusing to move.
“Yes, but this place is the best. Let’s go in or you can starve.”
“Fine, it’s not fair you know how to manipulate me like this.”
We walked into the empty bar and sat down at a table.
“Hey guys, how are you feeling today? Dane looks like shit.” Wendy sat down our menus before standing back and looking us over.
“I feel like shit.” I took the menu even though I knew what I wanted.
“Me too,” Alissa stated.
We ordered our food and sat back in the booth dazing off into space. We were both too tired to talk.
“We should never do that again,” Alissa said, finally breaking the silence.
“You never are, Cheetos shower.” I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Hey, it was fun at the time,” she defended.
Wendy brought us our food and we began to eat in silence.
“You guys look like shit,” Sarah said, sliding in the booth next to me.
“How do you look so good? You were passed out on the boat.” I looked over her perfectly straight auburn hair and chipper smile.
“I don’t know, I recover well,” she said, stealing a fry from my plate. “Oh, onion rings.” She reached across the table for Alissa’s plate.
Alissa grabbed her plate and pulled it closer to her, almost growling.
“She doesn’t share food,” I warned, when Sarah pulled her hand back in fear it would be bitten off.
“I can see that.” She gave Alissa a worried look.
“How’s Trent feeling today?” I asked her.
“About as good as you guys. He’s back at work. I just had to take him some Tylenol and saw your car here, figured I would stop and say hi.”
“Where’s the baby?” I wanted to see the little creation Sarah and Trent had made. Who knew the guy crying about being Coyote Uglied would end up marrying the girl that snuck away from him that night. I wished I had that kind of love story.
She stood. “She’s with my mom. I have to go get her now. We should do that again.” Sarah smiled before walking away.
Alissa and I turned our attention back to each other when Sarah ran back over and stole one of Alissa’s onion rings.
“Hey!” Alissa yelled at her.
Sarah crammed it into her mouth. “Bye, Lennox.”
I couldn’t hold in my laughter.
“Why is she so cheery?” Alissa frowned in Sarah’s direction.
I shrugged and dug into my food.
After we finished eating, we went back home to relax the rest of the day. We laid on the couch and finished watching The Blacklist on Netflix. We ordered pizza for dinner and crashed early.
I woke up Friday feeling like a whole new person. I was rested, wasn’t hungover, and my ribs felt better than they had the day before. I showered quickly and made Alissa breakfast before she even woke up. I was sitting down to eat when she finally pulled herself from bed.
She lifted the lid on the pan and peeked inside. “Did you cook?”
“Yes, why do you sound so surprised?”
“Because I am, you never cook. I didn’t even know you knew how.”
“It’s french toast, it doesn’t take a genius.”
Alissa made her plate and took a seat across from me. “So, what’s the plan for today?”
“I have no idea. I don’t really feel like doing much.”
Alissa dropped her fork onto her plate. “You have got to be joking, right?”
“What? I don’t want to go out there and see Nicole hanging all over Mason. I know he belongs to her, but I still don’t want to see it.” To say I was bitter about the whole situation was an understatement.
“Lennox, you have to get over this. I know you loved the guy, but you left and now he is with someone.”
“I don’t need you to remind me. I remind myself every day. And it doesn’t make a difference anyway. I just want all this shit with Chris out of the way, so I can go back to my life.” I pushed away from the table and went to my room to lie down.
As I stared at the white ceiling, I thought about the mess my life had become. I thought about the weekend Mason and I had together before Nicole dropped the pregnancy bomb and wished it could’ve lasted longer.
I knew what we did was wrong, but it felt so right. I didn’t know how I was going to stay away from Mason. But if Nicole was pregnant, I had to. I had to avoid him, that was the only way it could work. One look into those ice-blue eyes and I would get swept away in them. Nicole would fall away, the pregnancy would fall away, it would just be Mason and the hungry look in his eyes. Just picturing that look made my heart speed up.
My phone rang drawing me from my thoughts. I picked up the phone and saw Mason’s gorgeous face on the screen.
“Hello?”
“Can I come over?” his voice was thick and smooth. “I have something to tell you.”
My heart pounded in my ears as my skin became hot. “Okay,” I whispered.
The phone clicked and I pulled it away from my ear. I knew it was all coming to an end. I could feel it deep inside of me. He was coming to give me the results. I prayed for a negative.
I pulled myself from the bed and started pacing the floor with anticipation. I thought about changing out of my oversized t-shirt that I slept in, but couldn’t function long enough to find clothes.
Finally, he knocked on my door and stepped in. I turned to look into his eyes.
Right then I knew, it was positive. He didn’t need to say anything, I just needed one look in his eyes to know.
A tear ran down my cheek and he was pressed against me in a second with his hands tangled in my hair. “I’m so fucking sorry, Lennox,” he pressed his lips to mine. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” He shook his head with his forehead resting against mine.
I nodded, understanding. I held on to him, knowing I would fall over if I didn’t. I knew Mason wasn’t mine and in that second, I knew he never would be again. He belonged to her.
With both of his hands on either side of my face, he looked into my eyes. “I only want you. You have to know that.” A tear formed in his blue eyes and it broke my heart even more. I could handle being broken, but watching Mason break before me was too much.
“I know,” I managed to get out.
As soon as the words left my lips, his were against them. His soft lips moved with mine as his tongue demanded entrance. My heart pounded in my chest, knowing it wouldn’t ever get that again.
I tangled my fingers into his hair and pulled him close, I just needed a few more seconds.
With his scent engulfing me and his heat invading my body, I lost myself. I let out a whimper and before I knew what was happening, my back was against the door, my legs around his hips.
Holding me against the door, Mason pulled his shirt over his head and our eyes met. “Mason, we shouldn’t be doing this.”
He silenced me with his lips as his hands traveled up my body, landing on my breast with a firm squeeze. “Just one last time. I have to have you,” his hand traveled down between my legs and he slid a finger
into my panties. “You want it too. I know you do.” His voice was deep and filled with need for me.
When his finger slid into me, I lost all train of thought and let out a moan of pleasure.
“I just need you one last time, Lennox. Please, just one last time?” he whispered against my lips while his hands traveled across my body.
I was wound so tightly, I couldn’t have denied him if I wanted. “Okay.”
I told myself I was doing it for him, he needed it to be able to put me behind him and move on, but really, I needed it just as bad.
Mason reached for the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head, leaving me in just my panties. With his hands on my thighs, he moved us to my bed.
He pulled at my panties until they ripped and fell away. When I was completely bare for him, I heard his belt buckle clank as he worked his jeans down.
Our eyes were locked as he placed himself at my entrance. “I love you so fucking much.” The second the words left his lips he pushed inside of me. The moment he filled me, I was ready to fall over the edge.
His hands held me. My hips, my breasts, the base of my neck as he kissed me deeply all while thrusting in and out of me. I didn’t ever want to separate. He was mine and I needed him.
Knowing I wouldn’t ever have him again, made a tear fall from my eye. Mason raised his thumb to my cheek and wiped it away while continuing to move inside of me. “You don’t even know how fucking sorry I am.”
I nodded. “I know.”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t. Let me show you.” He moved his lips back to mine while filling me deeper and deeper with each thrust.
“Can you feel me? Can you feel how sorry I am for fucking this up? Can you feel how much I love you?”
I was getting closer and closer to falling apart beneath him. I dug my nails into his back and forced him to pick up the pace.
“I want to watch you come for me, one last time. Come for me, Lennox.” He moved faster and deeper until I was falling apart beneath him in an earth-shattering high. I moaned and held on to him as tightly as I could as my body was being overtaken with pleasure and pain at the same time.
When my orgasm ended, I looked into his ice-blue eyes that were locked with mine. “I don’t want this to end.” I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him like I wouldn’t ever get a chance to again. I tried to make every taste, every move, burn into my memory.
“I love you, Mason,” I whispered against his lips just as he jerked and filled me with every last drop.
He came to a stop on top of me and suddenly, it was like the weight of what we had done settled over us.
Something flashed in Mason’s eyes. Does he regret what we just did? I don’t, even though I know I should.
He pulled out of me and stood, not meeting my eyes as he adjusted his pants and pulled his shirt back on.
Finally, when I thought he was going to leave without a word, he sat down beside me on the bed. His eyes met mine and it felt like my heart stopped beating.
“I can’t tell you that I’m sorry enough. I never meant for this to happen to us. I only wanted you and now, I’m stuck and can’t get back to you. I love you, Lennox. Always remember that.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my lips.
This is it. This is the last kiss we will ever share.
I closed my eyes and let that kiss sink in, all the way to my heart and soul. Knowing I couldn’t ever have him again, my body broke down and sobs consumed me. I felt him pull away but didn’t open my eyes until I heard the door shut behind him.
I couldn’t watch him walk away from me.
I curled into a ball and cried myself to sleep thinking of nothing but the pain I was left to deal with.
13
Mason
It was D-Day, the day Nicole was going to take her pregnancy test. There was a pit in my stomach that wouldn’t go away.
All morning I was nauseous waiting for her call. I snapped at anyone that said my name, I couldn’t eat, and couldn’t think of anything but Lennox. I was wondering if it was over between us and if I would ever get to see her again.
Will she stay if Nicole is pregnant?
A part of me couldn’t bear to think of Lennox leaving again. Even if I couldn’t be with her, I still wanted to be able to see her and be near her.
I went straight to Nicole’s when I got off work. I pulled into her driveway and shut off the engine. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and made my way to her door. I almost had to stop and vomit in her shrubs, but I pushed the thought away.
When Nicole answered the door, nothing was said, she just nodded her head.
Fuck. I’m going to be a father. I can’t be a father, not the kind this kid deserves. My dad was good at this father thing, I know I’m going to screw this up somehow.
I moved in to hug her. I wrapped my arms around her loosely.
“You’re not happy?” Nicole asked, pulling away to look up at my face.
“I don’t know what I am.” I shook my head while rubbing my brow.
“Take some time and think about it. I’m not her and I never will be. It’s her or us.” Nicole shut the door, leaving me standing on the doorstep.
It was time I accepted it. I couldn’t keep Lennox on the hook any longer, but I didn’t want to break the news to her. I went home, where I stayed the rest of the day. I didn’t talk to anyone, I didn’t eat or drink. I just sat out on my balcony and thought about the future I had.
The next day, I still wasn’t feeling myself. I sat at my desk and spaced out, not looking at anything, just praying that my life wasn’t going to turn out to be as shitty as I pictured it.
I knew I had to tell her. It wasn’t something that could wait and it couldn’t be said over the phone. I called and asked if I could come over. She knew what it was about and it killed me knowing I couldn’t touch her or comfort her in some way.
My stomach was in knots the whole way. Finally, I reached her apartment and Alissa let me in. I walked slowly to her room to find her pacing the floor in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and panties.
Does she have panties under that shirt? God, I can’t think about that right now. Let’s just assume that she does because if she doesn’t I won’t be able to get through this.
I brought my mind back to where it needed to be. I didn’t have to say anything. She knew just from looking at me. She always could see right through me.
When a tear ran down her cheek, I couldn’t think of anything but the pain I had caused her. I had to make it stop. I closed the distance between us.
I practically begged her to sleep with me. I knew it would only make things worse, but I couldn’t help it. I needed her, she needed me. She felt too good, soft and warm. I knew she wanted it as badly as I did.
So many emotions bubbled to the surface while we were together. Anger, hate, sadness, love, an uncontrollable need for her. I was consumed with her.
When it was over, it hit us both. We were done. Forever.
She began crying worse than when I came in and I couldn’t do anything about it. Nothing I could say would make it any better for either of us. I left and didn’t look back. I hated myself for hurting her.
I drove home instead of going back to work. I drank beer after beer until the sun was beginning to set. Finally, I knew what I had to do.
I had to call Nicole.
“Hello,” She answered, unsure of what I was going to say. She was nervous, I could hear it in her voice.
“I did it. I told her. It’s you and our child.” My voice wanted to crack but I wouldn’t let it.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
I took a long breath and forced the words from my mouth. “I’m sure.” A tear slid down my cheek and it pissed me off.
I don’t get to cry. I caused this fucking mess. Lennox can cry, she didn’t ask for this. Nicole can cry, she didn’t deserve to be cheated on and get knocked up.
I can’t fucking cry.
“Okay, if you’re sure. What do y
ou say we meet up at the bar and have dinner, I haven’t eaten all day.”
“Okay, I’ll be there in an hour.” I hung up the phone without another word.
I finished what was left of my beer and tossed it over the edge of the balcony. I stood and looked down at the yard littered with beer cans.
I think I have a drinking problem. How can there be so many beer cans down there? I really should get a handle on this.
I pushed away all thoughts and drove to the grill. I took a seat at the bar and ordered a glass of tea.
“Are you sick?” Wendy asked.
I let out a laugh. Yep, I definitely have a drinking problem.
Nicole came in and we moved to the only table that was left, the big round table in front of the stage, with karaoke going on. My head hurt already and the horrible singing didn’t help, but I had to show Nicole I was with her. I had to sit there and pretend to have a good time.
“You’re not drinking?”
“No, I think I’ve been drinking too much lately.” I forced my eyes to the menu, even though I knew what I wanted. I couldn’t look at Nicole’s green eyes. They only made me miss Lennox.
After we placed our order, Trent and Sarah walked in. “Mind if we sit with you guys? Every table is full.”
“Yeah, have a seat,” I offered, happy to have a distraction. “What are you guys out doing?”
“My mom took Macy, so we’re having a little date night. I invited Lennox and Alissa, but I don’t think they’re here yet.” Sarah twisted in her chair to look around the crowded bar.
Great. Looks like I picked the wrong night to quit drinking.
Wendy brought over our food and Nicole and I began eating. I was mid-bite when my eyes locked on Lennox walking through the door.
Instantly, I was pissed. It reminded me of the night I beat this shit out of the cowboy. She looked sexy as hell and I could tell she did it on purpose. Not because she knew I would be there, but as an attempt to get over me.
I let my eyes linger over her long, tan legs and cut-off jean shorts. She had on cowboy boots and a white tank top with a slit in the top, showing off her nice tits. Her hair was styled in loose flowing curls and her green eyes shined clear across the bar. I knew I needed to get out of there.
A Second Chance at Forever (Chance #2) Page 13
