The Ultimate Choice

by Emma Darcy

The way he looked at her made her wonder what had been going through his mind while she was manipulating his leg with her eyes closed. If he'd been remembering…

  Kelly's heart skipped a beat. She had to remember what they were here for.

  ‘If you keep on the way you've been going, it will only cause you more and more trouble,' she admonished him. 'Already there's some wasting in the adductor muscles. Don't you care about yourself?'

  He grimaced and turned his head away before muttering a reply, I can put up with it.'

  'Well, I won't!' Kelly protested, impatient with his attitude. 'And I'm going to fix it as best as it can be fixed. I'm going to give you back two perfect legs.'

  Again he gave her that intense, inscrutable look. 'Why should you care?' he asked softly.

  Kelly had the feeling that she was walking across quicksand, and any moment she was going to be sucked in. 'Because I know I can do it…and I want to,' she answered slowly, but she knew there was more to it than that. Somehow she sensed that the leg was a barrier between them, and she had a strong instinctive urge to break down that barrier. And any others he raised. She saw the flicker of dissatisfaction with her reply, felt his withdrawal. 'Perhaps it's because I can't stand to see anyone in pain,' she added more forcefully. 'Certainly not in unnecessary pain.'

  His shoulders lifted and fell in a careless little shrug. 'Two years of operations and exercises left me with a distaste for spending any more time on the problem. The leg was never going to be good enough to stand up to much, anyway. So I rechannelled my career into an area where it didn't matter. The pain only flares up occasionally. After I've done something stupid,' he added self-mockingly.

  Like chasing her, Kelly thought guiltily. She quickly applied the suction cups for the interferential. 'You've got too many years ahead of you to let your leg deteriorate,' she scolded. 'You're still a young man.'

  He made a contemptuous sound.

  Kelly felt even more impatient with him. 'I'll bet you're not even old enough to have a hip replacement,' she said scornfully. And that was information that she really did want to know. 'How old are you, anyway?' she demanded.

  'Old enough to know better, Kelly Hanrahan.'

  The low growl had a distinct bite to it.

  Kelly took the bull by the horns, if you're going to keep on kissing me, I want to know how old you are.'

  She heard the swift intake of his breath. His body went curiously rigid. He said nothing.

  The silence seemed to go on and on.

  Kelly was quite certain he was not going to answer. Apparently he had no intention of kissing her ever again. The disappointment she felt was acute enough to make her feel silly and miserable. She started to turn away.

  'How old do you have to be to have a hip replacement?'

  Kelly glared at him, resenting the diversionary tactic, but his eyes were hooded, revealing nothing of his thoughts or feelings. His face wore an abstracted look.

  'Generally they don't like to do them until a person is forty,' she replied tartly.

  The silence lasted for fifteen or twenty seconds. 'Then I've only got five more years to go,' he said at last.

  Kelly's spirits instantly lifted and she sighed with satisfaction as she worked out the arithmetic. Twelve years between them didn't form an unbridgeable gap. A man of thirty-five was considered in his prime, and women always matured more quickly than men. By her reckoning, that just about put them on a par. There was certainly nothing wrong about her feeling attracted to him or him feeling attracted to her.

  She smiled triumphantly as she switched on the machine. 'I want you to relax now and let the interferential do its work. I'm going to attend to some of my other patients. If you have any trouble, just give me a yell,' she said, and even she could hear the exultant lilt in her voice.

  Justin St John was starting to bend!

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Although Kelly was satisfied that she had won the honours in the first round with Justin St John, it was early days yet, and the end was still very much up in the air. Why had he changed his mind from yesterday, when he had categorically refused any more physiotherapy from her? Why hadn't he attacked her about stealing Rasputin? He hadn't even mentioned it. He had to have some plan up his sleeve.

  Kelly conscientiously carried through the exercises necessary for her other patient, but she was extremely aware of Justin St John's presence in the next room. However, with the extra workload that his presence had thrust on her, she was kept busy for the next forty minutes.

  Not that he suffered in any way from the lack of her personal attention. Leaving the machine on him for that long wouldn't do any harm, and could only do good. The high frequency waves would help relieve the pain. The low frequency waves would exercise and help correct the atrophy of the underused muscles.

  After she had finished with two other patients, she could give Justin St John her undivided attention until ten-thirty. And that would be the danger period. Kelly was aware that if he was going to make some counterstroke against her it would be during this time that it came.

  The minutes rolled by all too quickly.

  Kelly returned to the cubicle.

  For a moment she felt light-headed, much the same as she felt before the penultimate round in a Grand Prix event, when it was essential not only to do well, but to pull out something special that would place her in front of all the other competitors. She took a deep breath and pulled the curtain shut behind her.

  She switched off the interferential and removed the suction cups. 'How does this feel now?'

  'Better,' he grunted.

  'I'll finish off with some resisted exercises and then some ultrasound.'

  He complied with all her instructions without complaint. No conversation was entered into by either party as she made him move his leg against the pressure of her hand. But there was a distinct rise of tension in the room. The physical connection that the exercises demanded engendered a very personal sense of intimacy.

  'That's enough for today,' Kelly finally said, her voice made husky by a tightened throat. She swallowed hard, then attempted a brisker tone. 'To do any more might stir it up. But when we can get more freedom of movement I'll start you on the weights. I want you here every day…'

  'Kelly…'

  He levered himself up on his elbows and it was a demand to meet his gaze. She looked up, knowing and expecting this to be the moment of reckoning. There was a sardonic twist to his mouth, and the grey eyes were hard and probing.

  Kelly's chin lifted belligerently, if it's beneath your dignity to come here, I'll come to you.'

  He shook his head. 'You can't really believe you can barter therapy for the horses…

  'I wouldn't try!' A flush of indignation highlighted her cheeks. 'And that's a very offensive comment! I've given you no reason to relate the two things in such a cynical fashion. I do care about you, whether you want me to or not. And I don't want to see you… incapacitated, when it's all so unnecessary.'

  His lips curled with bitter irony, if I hadn't been incapacitated, you wouldn't have got away from me yesterday evening.'

  Kelly took a deep breath and faced him squarely. 'If your feelings were more human, it wouldn't have been necessary for me to get away from you. You would let me ride my horses. I wouldn't have to steal them from you.' Her green eyes blazed with righteous conviction. 'You're the one who is unjust. I'm sorry about the pain you inflicted upon yourself, but it's all your own fault.'

  He rose up from the table, every line of his face drawn into haughty reserve, if I were less of a human being, I would give you every encouragement to break your foolish neck. The thought of having to deliver such news to your grandfather is sufficient inducement by itself to make me decide that you should not ride my horses. I…

  'Don't bring my grandfather into this. Yesterday it was Noni. Today…'

  ‘It's for your own good.'

  'No, it's not. It's…'

  'I also wish to apologise for kissing you. With
our age difference, it was a totally foolish thing to do.'

  'There's no need to apologise,' Kelly insisted hotly. 'As kisses go, that was an experience worth having.'

  His face tightened. 'We're not getting anywhere with this.' He eased himself off the table and walked to the chair where he had hung his trousers. He kept his back turned to her as he effected a more dignified appearance.

  Hating his silence, Kelly plunged on to another tack, I haven't thanked you for returning my car. I appreciated the consideration. In fact…'

  'Simple expedience!' he cut in brusquely, it would have been more of a problem to me if you'd presented yourself at Marian Park for another session of plea-bargaining.'

  He swung around, formidable in his armoured control. 'You're a very forward young woman, Kelly Hanrahan,' he stated with an emphasis that had Kelly instantly bristling. 'But I will make a bargain with you,' he added in a tone that smacked of condescension.

  Her temperature soared. He'd forced all the running, not her! 'You're an impossibly arrogant man, Justin St John,' she shot back at him recklessly. 'And I'm not sure I want to make a bargain with you. If you're going to pretend nothing happened between us…'

  'I'll tell you what's between us,' he whipped back bitterly. 'About twelve years. And a matter of horses. And it wouldn't be the first time a woman used her body to get what she wants.'

  That he could have interpreted her response to him in such a way shocked and angered Kelly. For several moments she was utterly speechless, colour ebbing and flowing in her cheeks. He watched her with hard, remorseless eyes as she struggled to bring herself under control.

  'You can leave now, Mr St John. You have had your treatment. If you're not in a medical fund, that will be twenty dollars,' she bit out, then marched off to the desk in the waiting-room to do whatever paperwork was required to send him on his way.

  She heard him follow her with his walking-stick, but scorned to look up until he reached the opposite side of her desk. Then she raised a frosty glare. 'I hope you appreciate how much better you're walking on that leg?'

  'Yes,' he replied curtly, and the steely grey eyes met and returned her challenge. 'How long will it take to restore it to perfect working order?'

  ‘I don't make God-like judgements!' she snapped, too furious to feel any triumph that he was considering her advice. 'After regular therapy for a fortnight, I might be able to give you a fairly accurate prognosis. Will nine o'clock each day suit you?'

  'I'll make it suit!'

  He dropped a twenty-dollar note on the desk. Kelly did not bother picking it up. She wrote out a receipt, her biro stabbing at the paper in her fierce resentment.

  'I won't be here next week,' she informed him as she banged down her pen, tore the page out of the receipt-book and handed it to him with icy disdain. 'But I'll leave instructions for your treatment with my replacement.'

  He ignored the receipt. 'Why won't you be here?' he demanded, his eyes boring into hers.

  'Because I'll be show-jumping,' she stated defiantly.

  His hand whipped out and caught her around the wrist. 'Not on that black stallion!'

  Her eyes flared with immovable determination. 'No matter what you do about Rasputin, I'll still go show-jumping. I've been offered other rides, and if I have to take what I can get, I will! You can't stop me!'

  His fingers tightened around her wrist. 'Bring that black rogue back, Kelly, and I'll reconsider about the other horses.'

  'Rasputin is the best! I can win more surely on him than any other horse.'

  'And lose more surely!' was the fierce retort. 'No one has been able to ride him.'

  Kelly bared her teeth. 'I can. Now, take your hand off mine, Mr St John. I might think you're using your body to get what you want.'

  Every nerve in Kelly's body jangled in alarm as the tension between them gathered explosive proportions. Then, suddenly, the dangerous glitter in his eyes faded and he broke into a self-derisive laugh.

  'Touché!' He released her wrist and regarded her with grudging admiration. 'I see I cannot impose my will on yours. But whether you want to believe it or not, I do have your best interests at heart, Kelly.'

  'That's very presumptuous of you, Mr St John,' she replied, disdaining his claim, in case it's escaped your notice, I'm old enough to make my own decisions.'

  'Then make the right one. The only sensible one!' he said in exasperation.

  Another patient came through the door.

  'Please… reconsider.'

  The soft appeal nearly made her change her mind. She didn't want to fight with him. She wanted to please him. If he let her ride the other three horses in exchange for Rasputin… but the thought of all the years of effort, Henry Lloyd's faith in her, and Noni before that… if she compromised now, it would be a betrayal in more ways than one.

  Kelly couldn't do it. She lifted pained eyes, wishing he could understand. 'I'm sorry, Justin. But at present that is quite impossible.'

  He looked at her steadily for a moment. Kelly could not possibly decipher what was on his mind. 'I'm sorry, too,' he said. 'I'll leave you to your patients.' He turned on his heel and walked out the door.

  Kelly wondered when she would see him again- and under what circumstances. He had given her the chance to settle out of court, so to speak. Having had his offer refused, what would he do now?

  Well, it was out of her control, Kelly decided. She had done the best she could by him. She could do no more.

  With an air of resignation she turned to her next patient.

  It was going to be a long day.

  Kelly saw her last patient out of the door. Ever since Justin St John had left that morning she had been half expecting something to happen, but the rest of the day had passed without the slightest ripple out of the ordinary.

  She telephoned the judge's place to check on Rasputin. Arlene Moffat assured her that he was fine; her stable-boy had set up some jumps for Kelly, and she could come and practise any time she liked.

  Kelly was tempted to drive straight out there, yet prudence dictated caution. Nothing had been resolved with Justin St John this morning, and Kelly did not think he was the type of man to tamely accept her defiance. What his next step would be, only time would tell, but Kelly did not want to risk being observed and having Rasputin taken away from her.

  'I'll come out early tomorrow morning, Mrs Moffat. And many thanks to you and the judge for all you've done,' Kelly said warmly.

  'Our pleasure, Kelly. And if you bring your clothes for work, you can shower and change here. That will save you some time.'

  Kelly thanked her once more, and with her spirits boosted by the thought of having her favourite horse to ride again she locked up the office and went home.

  Justin St John's next move stared her in the face as she drove up to the house. The palomino, the chestnut and the grey were all tethered to the fence railing.

  When she could tear her eyes away from the horses, she saw her grandfather strolling down the veranda steps, wearing a huge grin on his face. Kelly's heart pounded with excitement and uncertainty as she stopped the car and leapt out.

  'How did they get here, Grandpa?'

  'Stable-hand brought them down about half an hour ago.'

  Kelly shook her head, trying to work out the implications. 'What does it mean?' she wondered out loud, unable to believe that Justin St John had completely climbed down from his position, but wildly hoping that he had.

  ‘It means you can ride them and jump them to your heart's content,' her grandfather rolled out with relish. 'And I've put your saddle on Rapunzel because I reckoned you'd want to take her out first.'

  'But… surely the stable-hand said something?' Kelly cried, bursting to know the best… or the worst.

  'No more than I've told you.'

  'Nothing about Rasputin?'

  'Not a word!' Her grandfather grinned again. 'Reckon he's capitulated, Kelly.'

  The Justin St Johns of the world did not capitulate, she thought grimly.
Yet he seemed to have accepted her advice about the physiotherapy he needed. Completely perplexed by the man, Kelly looked at her grandfather for his advice.

  'Don't look three gift horses in the mouth, Kelly,' he said with an encouraging chuckle. 'Go to it, girl. Who knows what might happen next?'

  'That's true enough!' Kelly said with feeling. 'I'll go and get changed.'

  'Just like old times,' her grandfather said with happy satisfaction.

  But it couldn't be quite the same without Rasputin. And Kelly wasn't at all sure what game Justin St John was playing with this open-handed gesture. Or was it a trick? she wondered as she stripped off her work clothes and pulled on her riding gear.

  Perhaps it was his way of pressuring her to accept the bargain he had offered this morning. Showing her his good faith, and expecting her to respond with the return of Rasputin. If so, he could think again, Kelly determined stubbornly. As far as she was concerned, there were no strings attached. And she would play it that way until otherwise informed.

  She took all three horses down to the practice field. She set the grey and the chestnut free to graze while she gave the palomino a work-out over the jumps. Rapunzel was willing enough, and game, but she didn't have the black stallion's ability in jumping. Nevertheless, Kelly enjoyed encouraging the good-natured mare. When she managed all the jumps without knocking a rail, Kelly laughed from sheer elation.

  It was then that she saw the man watching her from the fence which edged the pine forest. Although he was too far away for Kelly to discern his features, she knew instinctively that it was Justin St John. Still exuberant over her success with Rapunzel, Kelly waved to him.

  He did not wave back.

  Kelly was tempted to ride up to him, but even from this distance there was a forbidding look about him which suggested she wouldn't be welcomed. He was probably watching to see if she broke her foolish neck, Kelly decided. It would support her cause more if she kept on riding and showed him how wrong he was.

  He watched her until she had taken all three horses through their paces. When she started to lead them up towards the stables, he moved away from the fence and disappeared into the pine forest, making it very clear that he had nothing more to say to her at this time.