by Jill Shalvis
The self that didn’t need anyone or anybody, him obviously included.
She was writing again. She’d been on the town’s website that morning with a new gig reporting in on adventures within the state of Idaho. Her first article had been “How to Road Trip the Back Roads to Boise,” although he couldn’t help but notice she’d left out the creative use of a mini iPad to punk your travel mate.
He’d also heard she’d been to work at Belle Haven in her new office.
What he didn’t know was if she missed him. He figured the answer to that was a big fat no or she’d have shown her face.
The front door opened. Trent held it wide for Summer, who walked in ahead of …
Darcy?
She wore a long, flowery skirt, a denim jacket, and some kick-ass boots. Her hair was loose and wild, a pair of big sunglasses blocking her eyes.
Until she shoved them to the top of her head, surveyed the large open room, and found him. She said something to Trent and Summer and, her eyes still locked on AJ’s, cocked her head toward his office.
Nodding, he turned to Tyson. “Give me a minute.”
“Take a bunch of minutes,” Tyson gasped, flopping to his back on the mat. “Take all the minutes.”
AJ strode across the floor and met the three of them in the hallway outside his office. He greeted Trent with a handshake and tried to offer the same to Summer but she threw herself at him and hugged him tight.
Darcy took a purposeful step back out of his reach.
Not knowing what to make of this, of any of it, he untangled himself from Summer and opened his office door to let everyone in. “What’s going on?”
“We’re here to apologize for questioning your judgment and behavior,” Summer said.
Trent nodded. “She’s right. I had no right to do that. We’d like to back your grant program, if you’ll still have us.”
AJ hadn’t taken his eyes off Darcy. He forced himself to do so now and met Trent’s gaze. “What changed?”
“It wasn’t your behavior that was the problem,” Summer said for him, taking Trent’s hand. “It was ours, right, baby?”
“I’m impatient,” Trent said. “And more than a little spoiled, to be honest. I thought my presence should’ve been the most important thing to you that day, but I was wrong. Very wrong. I didn’t see that until Darcy came to visit and reminded me that love trumps work.”
Darcy still didn’t speak but there was lots going on in her eyes. Too bad AJ didn’t trust himself to read any of it. “You went to see them?” he asked her.
She nodded.
“She drove herself,” Summer said, smiling at Darcy proudly. “She said it was her first time on the highway since her accident.”
“It was the first successful time,” Darcy corrected. “And you saw me when I answered. You know that I was a complete wreck when I got to your place.”
“Not a complete wreck,” Summer said.
“It took me an entire day,” Darcy said wryly. “I stopped at every gas station and rest stop, and two malls along the way.”
AJ was undone. “Darcy.”
“Wait, is that where you got those amazing boots?” Summer asked. “Totally jealous of those.”
Trent reached a hand out to AJ. “Hope you can forgive us. We believe in you. We want to work with you.”
“Even though my patients might come first?” AJ asked.
“Especially if your patients come first,” Trent said. “In fact, I’ll insist on it.”
AJ nodded and they shook hands. Trent looked at Darcy, and then back to AJ. “I think we’ll go get settled in at the inn for the night and give you two some alone time.”
AJ didn’t say anything until Trent had guided Summer out of his office and shut the door.
“You got on the highway days after what happened?” he asked Darcy.
She nodded, eyes full of things he was almost afraid to read. “I couldn’t stand that I’d screwed up your deal for you,” she said softly.
“You got on the highway after what happened,” he repeated, unbearably moved. “For me.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I just kept thinking about how my brain didn’t want to believe that you could have deep feelings for me, but my gut and heart said you could, that I was worth those feelings and I could trust them. That I could trust you.”
“You can,” he said. “Always.”
“It’s starting to sink in.” She moved to his wall where over the years he’d pinned pics of his patients and clients. She studied them for a long moment before speaking again. “You’re driven to help people.” She paused and turned to look at him. “It’s one of the things that draws me to you.”
“Do you want to know what draws me to you?” he asked.
She hesitated. “I’m still accepting that you’re drawn to me at all.”
He let out a low laugh and pulled her in. “Everything,” he said, pressing his face into her hair. God, he’d missed the scent of her. “Everything draws me in, from your unstoppable spirit to how you use your voice to stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves, to the way you throw yourself—literally heart, body and soul—into everything that matters to you.”
“You matter to me,” she said, voice firm and strong.
“Finally,” he breathed, squeezing her tight. “You get it.”
Her arms wound around his neck. “I’m not a throwaway.”
“No. And you never were. Never,” he said fiercely. “Your parents didn’t know what to do with you, and that was on them, Darcy. But Wyatt and Zoe would go to the ends of the earth for you. Xander, too. Even Tyson. Everyone you pull into your orbit falls for you.” He pulled back to look into her eyes. “Everyone,” he repeated, hoping she was following along and believing.
“And you?” she asked, as if half afraid of his answer.
“I fell a long time ago.”
She stared up at him. “You were already in love with me when we went to Boise.”
“Yes.”
She let out a breath as if she’d been holding it in too long. “I don’t want to be just friends, AJ. I know I said that’s all I wanted, but I lied. And I know that’s a mystery to you because you always say what you mean and you don’t make mistakes with things like this. Or make mistakes period. But I do. Sometimes I say stuff in the moment that later I realize was just a knee-jerk reaction, not to mention shortsighted and stupid.”
“I’ve made plenty of mistakes when it comes to you,” he said.
“Not like me,” she said. “But I’m done screwing things up.”
“I like where this is going. But don’t do this unless you’re sure, Darcy. I never intended to give my heart again.” She cupped his face and kissed his rough jaw. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life. It’s you who should be thinking this over. People would say I’m a pretty shitty bet.”
“I don’t care what people say. What do you say?”
She laughed low in her throat. “I say I’m so far out of my league I can’t even see the league.” She flashed a smile. “But I always did like to try new things, not to mention prove people wrong.”
Damn, he’d missed that smile.
She sucked in a breath, letting it out with slow exaggeration. “I know I said I don’t need love, but I’ve discovered I want it. I want you, AJ, if you’ll still have me. I … I love you.” Looking like maybe she felt lightheaded, she dropped her head low and put her hands on her knees, sucking in a harsh breath. “Holy cow.”
It was probably wrong to be grinning at her panic attack. After all, she’d put her heart on the line, maybe for the first time ever, but he couldn’t help it. Swamped with feelings for her, he stroked a hand down her back. “You okay?”
“Jury’s still out on that one.”
“Just keep breathing. It gets easier.”
“Good,” she said and gulped in some more air.
He was still smiling. “I’ve waited a long time
for this.” She lifted her head. “For me to nearly pass out?”
He smiled into her eyes. “For you.”
“I have no idea why you’re grinning. This isn’t going to be easy.”
He laughed. He laughed so long and hard that she narrowed her eyes and went hands on hips. “Maybe you want to explain why that’s so funny you’re practically busting a gut.”
He hauled her back into him where she belonged and held her still while she squirmed. “One thing you’d never be, Darcy, is easy. But I don’t want easy. I want you. Any way I can get you.”
She stared at him and then her mouth curved, too. “I can think of quite a few ways,” she murmured.
God, he’d missed her. “Can any of them be executed in an office with a window that opens to the main floor?”
She turned her head and stared at the glass where, yep, he had his shades up today and everyone in the place was watching like it was their job. Trent and Summer. Ariana. Tyson. And, damn, Zoe had stopped by. Darcy waved at them all and …
Shut the shades.
Darcy saw the lock on AJ’s door and hit that, too, with great satisfaction. “That should keep everyone out,” she said, and made her way back to AJ, standing there so big, bad, and effortlessly sexy. She fisted her hands in his shirt and tugged him in. “I’ve got a question.”
“Anything,” he said.
Her heart took a good, hard leap at that. “How strong is your desk?”
She had the pleasure of seeing the surprise flash across his face, quickly followed by heat as his eyes darkened. “Strong enough,” he said in a voice that took her halfway to orgasm. “But I’m not taking you on my desk when the building’s full of nosy-ass people.”
“You’re not?” she asked, disappointed.
“No.” He pushed her up against the desk and then lifted her onto it, pushing her legs open to stand in between them.
Mmm … She locked her ankles around his hips, letting out a little humming sound of sheer arousal.
AJ groaned and rocked against her, sliding his hands up from her knees to beneath her skirt.
Darcy got hopeful, really hopeful, even more so when he pushed her hem higher and then higher still, intimately exposing her to his heated hazel eyes.
He took in her bikini panties with the words Rock On across her crotch and smiled. “Damn, you’re distracting.”
“Good,” she said. “Take ’em off, AJ.”
“Not yet.”
“When?” she asked.
“Later.” He gathered her very busy hands from where they’d been trying to get into his pants and entwined their fingers together. “I want a promise from you.”
“Absolutely,” she said, leaning in to kiss his jaw. “I promise to take your undies off, too.”
He slid his fingers into her hair and pulled her head back, his eyes smiling, his mouth serious. “Not that.”
“Sounds serious,” she said carefully.
“It is.”
She bit her lower lip, her heart starting to pound. “Are you going to ask me to go steady? Because I’ve got to tell you, up until this point, I’ve not been all that good at keeping people happy.”
“I’ll keep myself happy,” he said. “You don’t have to do anything different or be anyone different, ever.” He kissed her softly. “But maybe you could tell me you love me, again, just every once in a while.”
She felt her heart melt. “I will. I love you, AJ,” she said softly. “Truth is, I’ve always loved you. I just thought maybe someone else would be better for you.”
“There’s no one better for me than you.”
She’d never been so grateful that he was just as stubborn as she. “There’s something I realized after you walked away from a very important business deal to help me,” she said. “Which, by the way, was stupid.”
He smiled at her vehemence and kissed her again. “So you love me because I’m stupid?”
“Yes. I realized that you can’t live without me.” She smiled when he laughed. She was never going to get tired of his laugh. “And that I cared for you more than I ever thought possible. And—”
He stopped her for another hard, long kiss. “And?” he pressed after they broke apart to breathe.
She blinked, mind empty. “I don’t remember.”
His smile was pretty damn smug. “Maybe we should take this to my place.”
“Yes, please.” She grabbed his hand and backed to the door, tugging him with her. She pulled it open, turned to go out, and stopped short.
Everyone had moved closer but no one closer than Zoe, who had her ear against the glass. “Okay,” she said, “I know this looks like maybe I was trying to eavesdrop.”
Darcy crossed her arms over her chest. “Actually, it looks like you were most definitely eavesdropping.”
“Yes, well, it’s just that I wanted this for you both so much,” Zoe said. “You two are together for real now, right?”
AJ pulled Darcy in and gave her a kiss that chased away anyone’s doubts. “For as long as she’ll have me,” he said.
“How long will that be?” Zoe asked Darcy. Everyone else looked at Darcy, too.
Normally being the center of attention like this would give her hives, but all she felt was … love. “For as long as he’ll have me,” she said, mirroring AJ’s words.
“Which will be for as long as I live and breathe,” he responded.
Her heart swelled against her ribs. “I can work with that.”
Epilogue
Five months later …
Darcy watched Wyatt toast his wife-to-be, grinning from ear to ear, staring at her like she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Emily appeared to melt.
So did Darcy. They were at the couple’s co-ed bridal party. “So sweet,” she said as Emily wrapped her arms around Wyatt’s neck, pulling him down for another kiss.
“Yeah,” AJ said. “It all seems to come down to the last person you think of each night. That’s where your heart is. Emily’s his heart.” He met Darcy’s gaze. “And you’re mine.”
Every time he said something like that to her, she marveled at how lucky she was to have him. “I’ve never known Wyatt to look so happy before.”
“It looks good on him.” AJ pulled Darcy into his arms. “You’re looking pretty happy yourself.”
“It’s the goofy-ass smile,” she said. “I see it when I look in the mirror in the mornings but I can’t seem to get rid of it.”
He grinned. “You’re welcome.”
They were in Emily’s backyard. It was sunset, the sky a brilliant kaleidoscope of colors as a storm rolled in. Thunder rumbled and Darcy looked up. “I hope we get rain soon. I want to dance in it.”
Even as she said it, the sky opened up. Around them everyone grabbed their drinks and belongings and made a beeline for the house.
AJ tried to pull Darcy inside as well but she resisted, laughing as the rain soaked through her clothes, plastering them to her like a second skin.
