by T. M. Cromer
He’d known they were over before they’d started. He would never allow more. Never allow someone else close enough to alter any aspect of his well-organized life.
Now she knew. They’d been circling the drain for a while. Finally, his true feelings on the matter penetrated her thick skull. The man didn’t want her in his world. How long did it take a normal person to recognize the truth? After all, he’d been hammering it home from day one.
However, she’d allowed herself the fantasy that he cared. The small, seemingly loving gestures had contradicted his claim to be a free agent. Again, she’d failed to see the warnings.
She gave a jerky nod and spun away, refusing to make eye contact with Mason’s mother who stood gaping in the doorway. Shonda suspected he’d thrown her for a loop too. No mother liked to think her son was a complete asshole. Connie would be wrong—her son was.
“Excuse me,” Shonda whispered with a tight smile.
Of course his mother blocked the door, and unless Shonda intended to shove her to the ground, getting around her was impossible.
“Hold it together! Hold it together,” her mind chanted in a continuous loop. Focusing on the refrain enabled her to stop the tears burning behind her lids.
“Shonda, honey,” Connie Sharp tried to do what she did best—manage the situation.
“Mrs. Sharp, would you please let me by?” she asked, tone low and desperate.
Wasn’t it bad enough she’d been humiliated by her own actions and Mason’s words? Did she have to be trapped by a meddling mother too?
“He didn’t mean—”
“Yes, he damned well did,” she retorted, anger building. “Now please, will you let me pass?”
Perhaps the edge in her voice penetrated the stubborn desire Connie held so close to her—the desire to see her eldest son settled and happy. Unfortunately for her, it was at direct odds with what Mason wanted. Regardless, the older woman silently stepped aside.
Shonda breathed a sigh of relief.
As she set one foot out the door, Mason’s deep voice reached her. “Shonda.”
Her treacherous heart had her halting her retreat. Pride had her refusing to turn.
“I’m sorry. If there was anyone worth changing my mind for, it would’ve been you.”
The sincerity struck her. He meant what he said, but it was no consolation. Without offering up any response, she lifted her chin and headed out the door once again. A few spasmodic steps later and her temper took hold. She whipped around and charged back to within inches of his arrogant face.
“You know what? Fuck you! Fuck your platitudes and condescending bullshit words. I don’t want or need them,” she raged. The sharp tip of her index finger pounded his pec with every point she made. “I feel sorry for you. One day, after you’ve shoved away everyone who might have tolerated your grumpy, narcissistic ass, you’ll be sitting alone. Life will have passed you by. And you’ll think of all we could’ve had. You will know true loneliness then.
“But me? I’ll have met a great guy who cherishes me. We’ll have gotten married and had a few babies. We’ll be surrounded by our extended family in our old age, and I’ll never spare you another thought. This moment will have been long forgotten. So don’t sweat it.”
It was a grand monologue as far as exit speeches went. Had she not been crying with hurt and frustration, perhaps he would have believed her.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart. That’s what you should tell yourself.”
“Perhaps I should have saved my bullet and let Christie finish you?” she mused coldly. The satisfaction she felt for having shocked him into silence pleased her. It felt good.
As Shonda swept out, Connie made no move to stop her. Maybe she recognized that Shonda would shove her down this time. Perhaps it occurred to her Mason really was a lost cause.
As she stalked down the hallway, Shonda acknowledged she’d never felt so alone. There was no running to Erica with her troubles. Her dearest friend lay in another hospital room, recovering from torture inflicted by that psycho, Christie. The last thing she needed was this stupid drama.
Shonda toyed with the idea of speaking to Dane. However, she didn’t want to cause additional strife in the Sharp family. Seeing his bruised face from the broken nose still made her wince.
A recent job offer from an old college friend in Colorado might be her solution. Besides Erica, nothing was really holding her in Stonebrooke anymore. From here on out she’d focus on her life and what it would take to make it fulfilling. Preferably without a man. She was bone-weary tired of the male population at large.
After she brought up her email app, she shot off an informal acceptance message to Veronica. Roni’s excited response made Shonda feel slightly less sick to her stomach about the spur-of-the-moment decision. They hammered out a few terms as she sat in the parking garage of the hospital.
Wow! She was really doing this. Really going to start fresh. A sense of rightness struck. Part of her said she should no longer trust that feeling. After all, she’d experienced it with Mason. Look where that went—nowhere fast.
Intent on her emails, she never noticed the man step up to her car. When the passenger door opened, she screamed for all she was worth.
“Damn, woman! It’s me.”
“Dane! What the hell? You couldn’t knock on my window?”
“I’m afraid you were so lost in thought, you would have screamed anyway,” he laughed before sobering. “Seriously, though, if you’re going to sit in a parking garage, I suggest you lock your doors.”
“Yeah, well, I won’t make that mistake again. You took ten years off my life.”
He chuckled, dimple flashing. She wondered for the millionth time why her heart couldn’t have picked him.
“Why so blue, babe? I suspect I know, but humor me.”
“I’ve taken a job in Denver.”
“You’re already regretting it?”
“No. Not really.”
“Good.”
She stared, stunned that he would want her to go. He held up a hand to stem her flow of angry words.
“While I’m going to miss your beautiful face, I think a change of scenery is exactly what you need.”
Deflated, she asked, “You do?”
“Yep.”
The seriousness in his blue eyes, so like Mason’s, twisted her heart in knots. She bit the inside of her cheek to stem the flood of tears wanting to overflow.
“Come here,” he ordered, arms wide.
She gave in to the need to be held and coddled.
“My brother has made you a hot mess, hasn’t he?” he murmured.
“Can we act like you are an only child for a while?”
His abrupt bark of laughter spurred one of her own.
“Sure thing, babe. So does that mean we can make out?”
Shonda punched his chest lightly and giggled as he had meant her to do.
“For years I told myself that once you found the right girl, you’d settle down. You’d get over what Melanie had done and wise up. But I was wrong,” Connie said. Disappointment weighed heavily on her face, and in her words, as she stepped closer to Mason’s bed. “Maybe it was the combination of being left by your father and then thrown over by Melanie that caused you to be so cold. But it hurts my heart to see you throw away the best thing that’s ever happened to you. And Shonda was—the very best thing in a long while.”
“She’s a cheater like everyone else. It took her all of a minute before she was kissing Dane,” he snarled. “And Bucky told me she was collecting phone numbers at the police station like they were candies from a Pez dispenser.”
“Watch your tone! I didn’t raise you to be disrespectful,” Connie scolded. “Dane kissed her. I told him to.”
“You what?”
“I only told him to do it if you were flirting with the woman at the coffee cart,” she stated matter-of-factly.
“I wasn’t flirting.”
“No? Hmm, that’s n
ot what your brother reported. He said you went so far as to accept the barista’s number. Care to explain how you can be so hypocritical?”
Mason noted his mother’s raised brow and crossed arms. He really didn’t have a choice. She’d be at him until he did. “Okay, yes. I got her number.”
Connie smacked him on the side of the head.
“Jesus, Ma. I wasn’t going to do anything with it.”
The phone number had been for show. To dissuade Shonda from any further ideas of a relationship. He’d been truthful when he said he didn’t intend to do anything with it. As a matter of fact, he threw the number away as soon as he was out of sight. Currently, the idea of being with anyone but Shonda turned him off.
“Don’t try to kid a kidder, Mason. If you took her number, you intended to have sex with her. How could you do that to Shonda? That girl loves you.”
“I don’t want her to.”
“Yes, you’ve made that quite clear to everyone, most especially her. Well done.”
He didn’t like disappointing his mother, but he’d be damned if he would defend himself.
“I’m tired. Do you mind if I get some sleep now?”
“So that’s the way of it, huh?”
“I’m not doing this with you, Ma. You can’t make me want marriage and rugrats. Let it go.”
He felt a momentary pang when she huffed out of the room, but he dismissed it. Alone was better. He didn’t want his life disrupted.
The next two weeks were spent in a flurry of activity getting packed and ready to move. Shonda had taken the time to say goodbye to Erica, which was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do in her life. To leave her bestie behind was like cutting off a limb. Erica had been so understanding and supportive in Shonda’s decision, she made it doubly difficult.
When Shonda found out Erica was pregnant, she almost cancelled her plans to leave. She extracted a promise from the mom-to-be that she’d call close to the due date.
From Mason there was no word. Shonda hadn’t expected there would be. The delusional part of her wanted him to beg her to stay. The realistic side scoffed at her. Dane had popped over on her last day in Stonebrooke to help carry boxes down the three flights of stairs to load into her vehicle.
“That’s the last of it,” she said on a sigh, shoving her overnight case in the trunk.
“Thank God. It is downright embarrassing that an owner of a gym should be so winded lugging boxes up and down stairs.”
“Just down.”
“Hush. I can change the story to make myself look better if I want.”
Suddenly the moment changed from teasing to serious. In the next half hour, she’d be on her way to her new life.
“I think I’m going to miss you most of all,” she said tearfully.
“Don’t do that. Don’t cry. You’ll make me get all weepy too. How would that look to your neighbors? I’ll have to leave town because of all the teasing I’ll get.”
“Shut up, you ass. I don’t know what it is about you Sharp men that you have to always ruin a perfectly good sentimental moment.”
“It’s a gift.”
“Pfft.” She rolled her eyes and went into his now open arms for one last hug.
“Take care of yourself, babe. Shoot me a text whenever you stop for the night and then again when you get going in the morning. I want to be sure you get there safely.”
“Yes, dad,” she grinned and kissed him on the cheek.
“It’s all fun and games until you’re kidnapped by a highwayman and taken to his lair where he satisfies your every sexual fantasy.”
“On that note, I’d better get going so I don’t miss him,” she quipped.
“Yeah, maybe I didn’t think that warning through all the way.”
“Nerd.”
His teasing did what he intended and shifted her mood back toward upbeat.
“The moving van comes tomorrow. Erica said she’d be here for it, but knowing her, she’ll try to help haul boxes. You may want to be here, if you can, to make sure she takes it easy with her ribs and the baby.”
“Of course! Or I may make Zack do it. She might be more inclined to listen to the father of her baby.”
“Yeah, I doubt it.”
They shared another laugh and one last hug. Then without further ado, Shonda climbed into her car to start her journey to Colorado and her new life.
Mason limped around his home, snapping at anyone and everyone who disturbed his peace or brought up Shonda’s name. Not dissimilar to an animal in pain. And he was. When he could take no more of his own mood, he grabbed his keys and took off to her apartment.
His fist connected with the door twice before it was jerked open. He stood staring down at an exceedingly irritated Erica. Frowning he pushed past her—careful of her newly pregnant state—and charged into the living room. The boxes made his pulse kick up.
“Shonda!”
Silence greeted him.
“Shonda, come out here. We need to talk.”
Erica joined him in the center of the room and laid a hand on his arm.
“She’s gone, Mason. She left yesterday,” she said softly.
“Gone? What do you mean gone?”
He brushed off her touch and searched the rooms. Part of him wanted to believe the stacks of taped boxes were an optical illusion. Surely she hadn’t turned tail and run? Not Shonda. She was a fighter. An optimistic one to boot. She would’ve stayed until he came to his senses.
“She took a job offer out of state,” she said, shadowing him.
He noticed she chose her words carefully so as not to give away the location.
“Where is she, Erica?”
“She doesn’t want you to know.”
“Where. Is. She?” he snarled the question.
“I’m sorry.”
“You are honestly going to stand there and not tell me?” he asked in disbelief. “You owe me.”
Her raised brows forced him to question the wisdom of those words. Still, if he had to use the getting-shot-on-her-behalf card, he would.
After some inner debate, she seemed to come to a decision. “Okay. She left for Colorado.”
“Where in Colorado?”
His patience was thin. If she didn’t start talking, he feared he would wring her neck.
“Yeah, that’s all you’re getting. If you want her bad enough, you’ll make an effort to find her.”
“This isn’t one of your stupid-ass romance novels,” he ground out. “Give me the damn address.”
“You aren’t endearing yourself to me. In fact, you’re pissing me off,” she said with a poke to his chest. “You put her through hell. Did I say anything? No! Because I know what you’ve been through. I know what it feels like to be betrayed. But I’ll be damned if I sit here and have you yell at me because of your own stupidity. Go to hell.”
“I swear to God…”
“What? What will you do? Nothing, that’s what. Zack would kill you dead, if I didn’t first.”
Suddenly he could take no more. He knew he’d screwed up. Now he needed to make things right. The moisture formed behind his lids, and he blinked furiously to dispel it. He drew in one ragged breath and softened his tone. “Please.”
Erica visibly softened. Thank God for romantic saps.
“I promised her I wouldn’t say. I can’t break my word, even for you.”
He dropped down into a plastic wrapped chair. Defeated, he stared out the slider windows.
“But…”
Her one word gave him hope. He sucked in his breath, raised his head to gaze up at her, and waited.
“I suppose if you happened to overhear me telling the moving men the address, I wouldn’t exactly betray her trust,” she said slyly.
He jumped up and planted a big smacking kiss on her mouth.
“Hey!” Zack strolled in to witness the exchange and took exception.
“Yeah, up yours, dickhead,” he grinned. He laid one more fast kiss on Erica and sunk down in t
he chair to wait for the movers. “By the way, I’m going to need to take some time off.”
“If you hurt her again, Mason, I swear I will tear you apart. Piece by piece, starting with your balls. You understand me?” Erica warned.
“I do, and I won’t. Not again.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
As the moving van pulled up to the driveway of the home she’d leased, Shonda almost told them to turn around and head back. She missed her small hometown in the days that she’d been gone. And while she’d settled on Thornton, a town just thirty minutes from Denver, for her new residence, it still had a much larger population than she was used to.
She firmed her resolve and opened the garage door for the movers. When she saw Mason’s car park behind the truck, she almost hit the button to shut him out. Part of her reeled in shock. Another larger part burned with anger. What the hell was he doing here? And why now? How had he found her?
Their eyes met across the roof of his black Lexus. She supposed it was a good thing she didn’t have any major tools in her garage yet. She’d be tempted to use them to do bodily harm for disrupting the new life she intended to build.
Breaking his visual hold, she met the moving company man who approached her with his clipboard as she did her best to ignore Mason as he stalked in her direction.
“Why did you leave?” he asked after the mover went about his business.
She stared at him, incredulous. “You traveled all this way to ask me that?”
“Answer the question, Shonda.”
“No. I don’t think I will,” she said as she turned away.
He caught her arm before she’d taken two steps. His grip firm on her upper arm didn’t allow her to go. “Please.”
She took a moment to center herself and faced him again. “Mason, this is all redundant. I don’t know why you’re here. And, truthfully, I don’t want to know. I’m moving on. I suggest you do the same.”
“No. No, I…” He trailed off, frustration vibrating off his entire body. The words wouldn’t come. He finally settled on, “I was wrong.”
