by Lauren Wood
***
“You look, stunning Eve.”
I had made the effort and I was already rethinking it when I saw the look in Joel’s eyes. Maybe I had done too much because he looked like he wanted to eat me alive at the moment.
“Thank you Joel. You clean up nice as well.”
He grinned at me and I noticed that he was wearing a leather jacket. Joel looked different and I knew that the jacket had something to do with it. He looked like a biker all of a sudden and it made me wonder what form of transportation he was going to be taking me out in. When he handed me a helmet and walked towards the bike, I knew that my fears were realized.
“We are taking this?”
His smile faltered and he shook his head. “I told you that I had a bike, didn’t I?”
Shaking my head that he didn’t, I was sure that I would have remembered such a thing. There was no way that I was getting onto the back of it. That was all I could think about. I was going to die, I was sure of it if I did get on.
“You don’t want to ride with me?”
About to answer him, I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye and I could tell that it was Carlos on his porch. He wasn’t usually home this late in the day, but of course he had to be there. I didn’t want him to think that I was a coward, so against all better judgement, I put the helmet on and got on the back of the bike.
It moved when I got on and it scared me for a moment, but I was happy that the helmet covered up my face and the expression on it. More regret came when Joel got on and my body naturally nestled up against him. It was too close and I could feel my face getting hot. This was supposed to be a night to get Carlos out of my mind, but it was only getting me in trouble so far.
I couldn’t ask him where we were going because of the loud bike, so I was left to hold on for dear life and hope that we didn’t crash on the way to wherever it was we were going. When we stopped at a particularly rough looking bar that was lined with other bikes like Joel’s, I started to wonder if I would have been better off in a wreck. There weren’t a lot of women there from what I saw and the few that were there were not dressed like I was. I was dressed to go out to a restaurant and eat, not this. What had I gotten myself into?
***
“This is Carlos’ place.”
“Carlos?”
“Yeah my cousin that lives upstairs.”
“Oh.”
Looking around, it started to make sense why Carlos was always gone when he was. His lifestyle was far different from mine. Curiously enough though, I didn’t see the man that Joel kept talking about. I could tell that the man admired Carlos and it wasn’t hard to see that there was a loyalty there. I liked that about Joel and it made me rethink Carlos if he had someone that thought that highly of him. Maybe I had seen him all wrong before?
“You still haven’t really met him yet?”
I was sure that Joel had heard about my comments the other night, so I told him that we had met when I had went over there.
“I wouldn’t really call it a social call though. It was three in the morning.”
Joel just smirked and shook his head. “I hope Carlos wasn’t too gruff with you. He has a tendency to be that way sometimes, but his bark is worse than his bite.
“He was actually pretty nice about it and they were quiet the rest of the night. He even brought me coffee the next morning, so that was nice.”
My words stunned Joel and I wasn’t sure why.
“That doesn’t sound like my cousin.”
“Why?”
Joel just shook his head. “Carlos usually doesn’t give in to anyone.”
The look on his face was different than before. Joel was looking at me strangely and I took a drink of the glass in front of me to break the eye contact.
“What are you two doing here?”
Speak of the devil.
“Just taking Eve out to see the place. She is still new to the city, so she had to come to the best place here.”
I agreed with Joel, but it was Carlos that took my attention. His look was similar to his cousins, but with Carlos it didn’t look like a want, it looked like a need that he had every intention on getting his way.
“You flatter me Joel. I don’t think that this is Eve’s kind of scene.”
His comment offended me, even though it was dead on. “You don’t know what kind of scene I am into Carlos.”
“Well you don’t fit in here. I think you need something a little fancier, like a drink with an umbrella in it.”
Taking Joel’s shot of whiskey I downed it and asked Carlos for another. I saw the brow go up on Carlos’ face and I thought I had made myself clear. I wasn’t some weakling like he thought. I didn’t have to be handled with kid gloves, but I seemed to forget that I wasn’t a very good drinker. Never had been and by the way I was feeling, I was never going to be.
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PREVIEWS
Never Mine
A Bad Boy Second Chance Romance
PROLOGUE
FIFTEEN YEARS AGO: MANDY
I couldn’t believe what I’d just found out. It was not at all what I was expecting when I took the test. Things like that don’t happen to girls like me. I was just out of high school and I had my whole life ahead of me. Greg had his whole life ahead of him and I knew what he would say if I told him.
It occurred to me then that I couldn’t tell Greg. He would try to fix it, do things that he didn’t want to do because of it. I couldn’t let him do that. I didn’t want him to be with me because he had to or because he felt trapped. There was nothing that I could do but get away. I had to get away from Watertown for a while. I wasn’t sure where I was going to go, but I needed space and time to think.
Packing up my bags, all I could think about was Greg and what he was going to think when he found out that I had left. I knew that I couldn’t see him again and the thought made my heart hurt. It was something that I had to do, that much I knew, but it didn’t mean that it wasn’t going to hurt more than anything else I had ever felt before.
Looking back one last time in the room that I had lived in since I was a small girl it wasn’t my childhood home that I was going to miss the most. It was Greg and I knew I was always going to wonder what would have happened if I had stayed.
CHAPTER 1
MANDY
“Come on Mandy. I don’t know why you are being like this. It is a nice night and you have nothing else going on. Let’s go have some fun for a few hours.”
I tried to look excited, I really did. It was hard to feel like doing anything after I had worked twelve hours at the animal sanctuary. It had been a long day with two animals put into quarantine and another couple being released. All I really wanted to do was find a movie that I hadn’t seen in a while and have a glass of wine. I was tired, but it wasn’t going to matter to Alise. I had made her a promise and she was going to hold me to it. That much I knew, so there was no point in fighting it.
“I said I was going, what more do you want?”
“A little enthusiasm would be nice Mandy. Stop acting like you are on death row.”
I smiled, but I knew that it didn’t reach my eyes. I was leafing through the closet, trying to find something to wear while Alise played with my hair and the curling iron.
“I’m not. I just haven’t gone out in a while.”
She sighed and pulled another hot strand of curl off the iron that fell to my shoulder. I looked into the mirror and I liked the change. I hadn’t done much to my hair in a while besides braid the blonde mess up for work. Now I was looking like I didn’t deserve a lab coat on me, but I still couldn’t find anything that I really wanted to wear. Nothing looked good and I knew that it was because I wasn’t that into going out to a bar to drink and dance.
“I know you ha
ven’t. Ever since you and Jeff broke up, I haven’t been able to get you out of the house after dark.”
Shooting her a look, I couldn’t believe that she was bringing him up. He was the last person that I wanted to think about, but if I was honest he was a lot like all of my exes and I didn’t want to talk about any of them either.
“I just had to take a little break.”
“Well time is up Mandy. It is time to get back out there and you aren’t going to do it with that.”
She took the little red dress out of my hands and I protested a little. “What is wrong with that?”
“It isn’t near short enough. I thought you wanted to have some fun?”
Groaning inwardly, I waited for her to pull out a skirt and tank top combo that made me blush. It was not the kind of outfit that I would wear but to keep the peace and get it over with, I slide the clothes on and watched them cling to my curves. “I look like a slut.”
Alise shook her head. “No, you look a little cheap, but not a slut.”
I smiled and laughed that she thought there was a difference. All I could think about was how much attention the clothes were going to bring me. Straightening up the skirt and pulling it down as far down my leg as I could, I gave up and realized that it was going to have to be okay. I had agreed to it after all.
“Do you want me to put your makeup on?”
Looking at the woman staring back at me in the reflection, there was no part of it that I recognized. My red hair was a mass of loose curls that fell around my waist and the outfit was tight and revealing. I looked good, a few years younger than my thirty two years, but I felt like an imposter.
“No I think I am good on that Alise. I look enough like you.”
She took it as a compliment and told me that my boobs looked good in the shirt. “If I had a body like yours Mandy, I wouldn’t be so shy to show it off.”
I didn’t want to hear that. Alise was beautiful and petite, something that I had always wanted to be. Where everyone else saw curves and features that they liked, I always wanted to be doll-like, like her.
“Whatever, Mandy. I know that you don’t get it, but I can’t even pull off half of the clothes that you have.”
Waving her off, I swiped a little lip gloss on my lips, as well as some eye liner and called it a day. “Are you ready?”
She looked at me as if she had been ready for a year and I had to giggle at her. Alise had a way of dragging me into things that I wasn’t necessarily into, but she at least made it fun on the way. Locking the door behind me, I moved out into the chilly night. Alise was right behind me and I was hopeful that I could get her back home before it got too late.
“What about Alfie?”
“He is with Rita for the night.”
“Good, so that means that you can stay out all night.”
“No, I still have work tomorrow.”
Alise gave me a look and I ignored it as we got in the car. I was still hoping to be in bed before midnight. My overnight partying days were behind me.
***
When we got to Dante’s, I was still a little reluctant, but as soon as I got a drink in my hand I was feeling a little bit better about the situation. The White Russian had an extra shot of rum in it and before long I was feeling the music more than I was feeling my nerves. Alise was right of course, she always was it seemed. Maybe a night out was just what I had needed the whole time.
I could feel the smile spread across my face as I looked out at the dance floor. It was only when I caught the side profile of someone that I used to know that everything in me stopped. The people, the music, it was all in the background as Greg came into view.
Memories flooded my system and I was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe in the packed room. He didn’t see me yet and I was split between standing still and running away so that he didn’t. It had been too long since I had seen him and the last time I had, my heart had broken into a thousand pieces. There was a part of me that knew that he was never going to forgive me for what I had done. I had made some decisions that I knew was going to be hard for him to deal with. They were hard for me to live with as well, but it was what had to be done.
Greg was a bad boy or he had been when we were in school together. He was the love of my life and I would have sworn that I was going to marry him. That is what I had expected and when things had changed, it had taken me a long time to get over Greg, if I ever really did.
He turned my way and I stopped in my tracks. I had been staring and though I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see him or not, if I wanted him to know that I was even there. When he saw me though, I saw the recognition on his face and I was left speechless. He remembered me and I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. One way or another, Greg started to walk towards me and I was left there to stand. The drink in my hand was gone and I felt betrayed a little bit by that.
“Mandy Cossin, as I live and breathe.”
I smiled up at him and I could feel my body’s age old response. All of me remembered Greg quite well.
CHAPTER 2
MANDY
“I can’t believe you are here. What are you doing here Mandy?”
I didn’t know what to say, passed the fact that he was standing right there and I missed him. God, I had to stop the words from coming out of my mouth. What was wrong with me when all it was I could think about was the last time the two of us were together in such a way? I was shocked to say nothing and it was only when a tall blonde woman walked up behind him and asked him when he was going to be able to leave that I pulled it together.
“I’ll be ready to leave soon Amber.”
Amber could tell that she was being ignored and I stood up a little straighter in the woman’s presence. I don’t know why, but I wanted to know who she was and though I think I had a good idea of who she was, I wanted confirmation.
“No, don’t let me hold you up Greg. Maybe we can catch up another time. Nice to see you again. It has been a long time.”
I started to walk away and though I was happy to see him, filling my eyes with Greg, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to talk to him and explain myself. There was a part of me that wanted to, but more than that I knew that it wasn’t going to end well. If I told him the truth, Greg wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me. That much I knew for sure.
The breath in me was starting to come easy again and my eyes looked for my friend Alise. I wanted to get out of there before I ran into someone else, though there weren’t any more Greg’s running around. He was the only man that I had ever loved and there was a part of me that was sure that it wasn’t possible to love someone more than I had loved Greg.
“Mandy?”
I felt his hand on my shoulder before I heard him calling my name. There was something in his green eyes that I didn’t understand, but I didn’t want to. Looking behind him, I asked where his friend was.
“Why did you take off? You’re really bad about that, you know that right?”
“Bad about what?”
“Taking off on me.”
I was silent for a moment. He was talking about the fact that I had just left. I had left Watertown in the dust, along with my boyfriend at the time. I’d never say goodbye and that was one of the reasons that I knew it was going to be hard to talk to Greg again. I wasn’t proud of what I had done and how I had acted, but there had been no other choice for me. I had to do, what I had to do, no matter how hard it had been or how hard it was then with the past staring me in the face.
“Sorry, I don’t think your wife or girlfriend wanted you talking to me, so I didn’t want to get you in trouble with her.”
Greg looked at me as if he didn’t understand what I was saying. “Who? Amber?”
He waved her off like she wasn’t important. “Yes.”
“She is just a friend.”
I smiled and remembered that we had been ‘friends’ a long time ago too.
“So you never got married?”
He sh
ook his head. “Never found a woman that made me want to. Not in a long time anyways.”
I didn’t know what the last bit was about. We had dated our senior year. He had tried to date me several times, but I had been focused on my studies. When I finally gave into his boyish good looks and piercing green eyes, I knew that I had made a mistake. I loved him not long after that and I wasn’t sure if I had ever loved someone the same again or if I ever would. Greg had been a special kind of love and almost fifteen years later, he still made me feel the same.
“What about you, are you married?”
“God, no.” My answer was paired with a strong shake of my head. The last thing I wanted to think about was getting married. I had never even come close. I had been asked, but never once had I thought to actually say yes to one of those kinds of questions. I was more likely to never get married, especially when it was figured that I was already in my thirties.
“I can’t imagine some guy not snatching you up a long time ago.”
Shrugging, I looked around again for Alise. Maybe she could pull me from his grips that he had on me so that I could get out of there. Every minute I spent with Greg was not good. I knew that I wanted to talk to him more, see how he was, but I was afraid of what would happen after that. I knew that part of me would always love him, but I had left him for a reason and that reason was still just as valid as it once was. It was actually more so now because I wasn’t prepared for him this time. I had had years to know the difference between what we had had and what I would have with others. At the time I was with Greg, I didn’t understand how special it really was and how special it was going to be as time went on. That was the hardest part of all of it. I knew what I had lost now and though I couldn’t go back, there was a large part of me that wanted to. I wanted to go back to the way things were when I was permanently in his arms.