by LS Sygnet
Along the neck and border of the jacket were tiny sterling rosebuds embroidered into the fabric.
It was the most beautiful dress I'd ever seen, even though it was not something I'd have ever chosen to wear. It wasn't in my favored color scheme of black, navy or gray. It came as no surprise that Johnny would choose this color, the symbolism that the sterling rose held in our recent history.
I removed the garment bag and discovered another one behind it, this one containing a soft white fir wrap. "You thought of everything, didn't you Johnny? You're always three steps ahead of me."
A long soak in a hot bubble bath improved my mood more than I realized. Dread of the evening was replaced by a constant flutter of excitement in my chest. No matter how much I tried to mute what Johnny's thoughtful gesture meant, my heart couldn't dismiss what I wanted it to mean.
Zack's compliments fell on deaf ears. I didn't care how healthy the dress made me look. My thoughts were focused on one thing. He said he knew me. He said he understood what made me tick. All Johnny Orion had ever done was patiently wait for me to see that he was telling the truth. Now, I couldn't wait to see him, to tell him that I believed him.
The throng of officers from Central Division and Downey distracted me temporarily. Charlie Haverston was the first to accost me on entering the banquet hall. He set an unwelcome precedent by grabbing me and hugging tightly. "I'm so glad you're here, Helen. You look fantastic."
He tugged his wife Rose up to his side and introduced her with a proud grin. A parade of others with whom I'd had contact during my short tenure in Darkwater Bay – before the shooting – from desk sergeants to civilian employees came to greet me. The pawing and constant pressing of the flesh started to make my skin crawl. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Chief Weber.
Graciously, I excused myself to have a word with him. Nobody objected, assuming perhaps that I wanted to offer my dismay at his abrupt announcement of retirement. True, I wanted to chat with him about any repercussions that had cropped up from his decision, but I needed an excuse to get away from too much attention.
Dad always warned me to keep a low profile. The consequences of rejecting that advice, whether conscious or not, could not have been more apparent than they were in a room filled with hundreds of people who knew my name and reputation.
"Helen," Don shook my hand and maintained socially appropriate distance. "You look stunning. We're delighted that you were able to come tonight. Lieutenant Finkelstein said she feared you might not feel up to attending our annual gala tonight. I so hoped we wouldn't have to honor you in some quiet way after you returned to active duty."
The murmur that rippled through the crowd distracted me from Weber's odd remark. I turned and watched the head and shoulders that stood taller than most bob through the crowd. My heart quickened.
Johnny Orion had arrived.
It was odd to sense the split in opinion in the room. Probably thirty percent of attendees bristled at his presence. Interesting, I thought. I wonder if these are people susceptible to the wooing of Danny Datello's checkbook. It brought my thoughts back to Weber and why I wanted a private word.
"Sir," I said, "might I have a moment with you in private?"
"This is a party, Helen. I'd rather not discuss the unpleasantries of work tonight."
"I was curious if you heard anything interesting after making your announcement Wednesday morning."
Don shook his head and chuckled. "You are tenacious, aren't you?"
"If you mean I haven't given up on getting to the source of your problem, the answer is no. I won't give up, even after your replacement is hired and you're retired doing whatever it is that makes you happy, Chief Weber."
"Oh, Helen. I appreciate your commitment to seeking the truth, but I don't see how its necessary now that I've announced my intention to retire."
I gripped his arm. "What if this person decides to go after your replacement? Show me one person in this room that doesn't have a secret they'd rather not become fodder for the rampant gossip mill in this city. I cannot allow anyone else to be compromised, to suffer what you've endured all these years. And for what, chief? Because you love someone that the rest of the world might not understand?"
His posture stiffened, eyes widened.
"Oh come on, sir. It's the 21st century. Do you think the public really cares about such things anymore? Your family knows the truth. I'd imagine a good many people in this room, like me, have at the very least a strong suspicion of it. Cheating on your wife and living a double life isn't admirable, but its hardly something that qualifies as immoral. You can't help being born that –"
"That's enough, Helen." He forced a pleasant smile. "I appreciate your concern for my job and even acceptance of my... well, acceptance. It may well be the 21st century in the rest of the world, but this is Darkwater Bay. Change happens slowly. Bringing you to Darkwater Bay was probably the smartest thing George and I ever did. Honoring your service tonight will be the highlight of my career, at least in recent years."
Zack's description of the evening echoed in my ears. Cocktails, dinner, an awards ceremony, dancing and revelry into the wee hours. "Oh no," I murmured. "You're not –"
"Of course we are. Didn't anyone tell you why we were so determined that you attend tonight if at all possible?"
The betrayal of a conspiracy of no less than five men slammed into me. My head whipped around, looking for the nearest exit where I could make my escape, and fell instead on three grinning conspirators – Crevan Conall, Johnny Orion and the recently returned Tony Briscoe. They raised their glasses in silent toast.
Must find exit. Must get out now. The look of unadulterated panic flashed in my eyes and registered in recognition on Johnny's face. He handed his drink to Crevan and started pushing his way through the crowd toward us.
"No, no, no, no, no," I chanted under my breath. If Orion got to me before I got to an exit, that was it. He'd be stuck to me like gorilla glue to make sure I didn't duck out before the festivities began. I turned back to Weber and flashed a thousand megawatt smile. "A dance, Chief Weber?"
"I'd be delighted," he said.
I let Weber believe he was leading, while I kept my eyes fixed on the red and white light marking an exit on the opposite side of the room. It was easy enough to maneuver him in the right direction.
At least until a brick wall tapped on Weber's shoulder and obstructed my view of escape. Johnny smiled at Weber. "May I cut in?"
No was on the tip of my tongue when Don graciously released me and thanked me for the dance. Johnny's arm manacled my waist before I could bolt in the opposite direction. My days of subtly leading came to a screeching halt. He swept me away from the safety of the emergency exit and remained silent through the remainder of the dance.
When another soft melody floated through the air, he continued, but looked down at me. "You look so beautiful, Helen."
"I should thank you for the dress, but it's not really my color."
He laughed. "I know you're saying that because you're pissed that I prevented your escape." His lips brushed the shell of my ear. "I know you, Doc. Remember?" One thumb stroked back and forth over the small of my back.
"I can't do this, Johnny."
"Dance with me?"
"You know what I'm talking about. I hate these things, and even more than that, I hate the kudos and falseness of honoring one while ignoring the contributions of the many it takes to do this job well. If anybody deserves an award tonight, it's Charlie and Taylor and Thieg and Adams. Tony and Crevan closed the case against the Jacksons. All I did was get shot and cost the department a ton of money in medical care."
"We're not talking about you standing up alone and taking sole credit for everything that happened this year, Helen. But the people here aren't blind. They're not stupid. They know that your fresh take on our cold case, your instincts with Kim Jackson and his brother, they opened avenues that helped those cases get solved. They want you here, to honor you and make sure yo
u know how much everyone values what you've brought to our city."
I caught my first glimpse of the woman who could only be Johnny's new girlfriend. Briscoe was almost physically restraining her from barging across the room in the direction of her hateful gaze – me being the recipient.
"Your girlfriend is waiting for you," I said.
"She's not my girlfriend, she's a platonic friend who agreed to accompany me to this thing tonight."
"Somebody ought to tell her that," I muttered. Hey, I know jealousy when I see it, and whatever Ms. Petite Buxom Blonde had on her mind was clearly not platonic.
Johnny's arms pulled me close enough for my chest to press against his. He stopped dancing. "Let them have their night with you, Helen. We haven't got an infinite amount of time with you to show our appreciation. You'll be long gone before we have this gala again next year, won't you?"
That was the plan, though when he suggested it just now, it felt like the last thing I wanted. I exhaled a shuddering sigh and murmured, "How do you do it, Johnny?"
"Do what?"
"Read me like a first grade reader. I'm supposed to be an enigma, an unknowable –"
"How many times do I have to tell you?" His gaze softened into something achingly sad. "I know you, Helen. From head to toe, inside to outside, dark corners where you can't bear to look to the light of day obvious. I know you."
I couldn't tear my eyes away or mask what his words were doing to my emotions. Johnny gripped my hand tighter.
"Please don't run away tonight. Let them have a couple of hours, Helen. Don't leave and let them believe that none of this really matters to you."
"It does matter."
"Then let them see how you really feel about what you helped accomplish."
My fingers kneaded the shoulder beneath them. "Thank you, Johnny."
"What for?"
"Not letting me run out of here and make an ass of myself." I stroked his hand with my thumb and felt the breath hitch in his chest. The pressure from the hand at my back increased, pulling me against him so close, I felt like we might be one person again.
"Helen," he rasped.
"Shh," my hand roved over his shoulder and caressed his cheek. "Your date has eluded Tony and is headed this way."
"Forget about Marci. Tell me how you feel. Tell me if I'm reading what I see wrong –"
I interrupted, rose on my tiptoes and kissed the corner of his mouth. It dragged a pained moan that vibrated up from deep in his gut.
"Happy birthday, Johnny," I whispered before slipping away from his grasp and moving through the crowd to find Zack.
Chapter 31
Tony Briscoe looked like the Cheshire cat that ate the cat that ate the canary when he tugged me out for another dance before dinner was served. "Well, well, well," he chuckled. "I go away for a week and the whole damn city turns on its ear."
"If I had a clue what you were talking about, I'm sure I'd be interested in your unique take on current events, Tony, but as usual, you're a bit too cryptic for me."
"Crevan filled me in on the broad strokes of what's been goin' on around here this week, and as fascinating as I still find police work after all these years, that ain't what's got me primed for a bit of interrogation, Dr. Eriksson."
Oh boy. Here it comes. "I'm not having this conversation with you."
He snorted, "You show up lookin' like Cinderella at the ball, and the handsome prince as it turns out, can't seem to tear his eyes away from you. Then I find out that said prince done camped out in your house takin' care of you on account of what Crevan says looked like the brink of starvation."
"Stop. You know what a drama queen Crevan is."
"He does have a flair in that direction, don't he? Are you tellin' me Johnny didn't pick out this magnificent cut of cloth you're wearin' tonight? Are you gonna deny what I saw with my own two eyes no more'n half an hour ago?"
"It's his birthday," I said. "Aren't I allowed to wish a friend happy birthday?"
"Honey, the sparks flyin' between the two of you were more than friendly. More like let's get outta here and celebrate in our birthday suits."
"And to think that for about six seconds, I was happy to see you back tonight, Tony. This is definitely not the part of you I missed having underfoot."
"Ouch. So you think you could use another pair of hands on your big case?"
I thought about the wariness some expressed over Johnny's arrival and hesitated. "Perhaps this isn't a good place to talk about what we may or may not be investigating, Tony. If Lieutenant Finkelstein wants to assign you to help, I'm sure she'll do so in the appropriate setting."
He sighed. "And to think for six seconds I thought I missed workin' with you too, Eriksson. Ain't it hard bein' so paranoid all the time?"
"If you knew everything I know, you'd realize that sometimes paranoia is simply good common sense. Not everybody is happy to see all the guests at the gala tonight. It might be wise to keep that in mind before we openly chat about a sensitive case."
Briscoe's eyes darted around us. "Huh. Good common sense you say. Well, considerin' the history around here, I can't argue that one. I can say that I'm glad you decided to stick around for the awards. This is the first time I can remember that this shindig actually had something real to celebrate. Usually it's some windbag standin' up and praisin' the least worthy people in town."
"Lowe lauding his puppets, in other words. I wondered how such incompetent detectives could be so highly decorated."
"Means a hell of a lot more comin' from people who aren't serial killers, I can tell you that. You're one of 'em now, Helen."
My chest seized. One murder did not a serial killer make. "One of what?"
"The decorated detectives of course."
Like Dad. Before I could drift off to wonder if he'd be proud of me, Zack interrupted.
"They're getting ready to serve dinner. Rubber chicken, wilted broccoli, and shriveled up baked potatoes. I hope it doesn't kill your appetite, Helen. At least you'll have room for dessert. The tiramisu is a tradition at these banquets, and I must say, it's worth suffering through the main course."
Our table wasn't much different than the one that fed tired and frustrated bodies at breakfast Saturday morning, with the exception of a few additions. Johnny's date was present. Zack sat beside me. Tony was back from Phoenix. Maya and Ken joined our group along with Ned, Devlin and Crevan.
I focused my attention on Maya. "Any word on your expanded tests?"
She shook her head. "But I've been warned that discussing autopsy results over dinner is considered impolite. You don't see him avoiding the wonder of plaster casts of tire treads, do you?"
"I'm glad you're here," I grinned.
"Darling, you look stunning. With everything that's been going on this week, how did you have time for a dress fitting?"
I glanced at Johnny. He didn't even pretend interest in anything else at the table. "A gift," I said, "From someone determined to help cloak my self-neglect in front of the masses."
An hour of pleasantries dragged on because of nerves on my part. I dreaded the honors portion of the ceremony. It came quickly enough. I held my breath and waited for the speeches from commanding officers to wind down. Don Weber spoke first on behalf of Central Division. Pride swelled in my chest when Charlie Haverston rose and ascended the dais to receive his award. Not only had he clawed his way to the rank of detective, he was being honored for his contribution to turning things around at Central Division.
I missed Weber calling my name. Zack tapped the back of my hand and rose, as did the other men at the table. I groaned softly, grabbed my purse and took my place beside Charlie and company.
Bay View followed Fielding's lieutenant, before Shelly rose and gave her chuckle eliciting speech about how Tony Briscoe felt his honor was long overdue. "I happen to know that his last decoration was far too long ago, so I am pleased to be the lieutenant honoring him and his partner Crevan Conall tonight."
They rose and joined
the growing throng of officers on the stage. Shelly turned and crooked one finger at me. "Come here, Detective Eriksson. We're not through with you tonight."
I tucked my chin downward and stepped forward in shoes I cursed for being too tight.
"It is my distinct honor to present you with a second commendation tonight, Helen. I believe that I speak for all of us when I say that everyone knows that even though technically Downey is your house now, all of Darkwater Bay is your home."
My eye glimpsed Maya standing first to applaud, followed by everyone else at our table (except petulant Marci), and a slow cacophony of clapping hands and risen bodies from seats around the banquet hall. Frankly, I wanted to crawl under the podium and die.
Low profile, Helen. Don't draw attention to yourself –
Johnny's voice boomed above the din. "Speech! Speech!"
Had I wanted to kiss him earlier? Strangulation seemed more apt at the moment. Shelly stepped aside and waved me forward with a sweep of her hand.
I clutched my small purse in a white knuckle grip and stepped forward. Thoughts raced through my brain that ranged from irritable snarls at Johnny for suggesting I speak, to a confession that included every single reason why their honor was little more than an abomination. What came from my throat was quite different.
"Some of you I know. Many of you I do not know. What I believe should have happened tonight is that the honors bestowed on a few men and women who join me here, should belong to everyone who is committed to serving and protecting the people of Darkwater Bay. It is your efforts every day, from those that seem small and routine, to those that change and save lives, that should be honored. I believe that without the dedication each of you shows every day that nothing anyone standing beside me tonight could've been accomplished. I honor you, your commitment, your knowledge, your excellence. Thank you for allowing me to be part of the good work you do in this city."
