by Mysti Parker
Once the IV is prepared, I add the antivenin and hang the bag from an IV pole.
“How long will it take?”
“Thirty minutes to an hour.” I grab a stethoscope and listen to his heart and lungs. “Elevated heart rate, but the lungs sound clear. Once he’s stable, I’ll give him some antibiotics.”
“So, he’ll be okay?”
“I think so.”
Avery holds him while I clean the wound and bandage it. I look up to see her teary eyes staring back at me.
“Thank you, Jack.”
“It’s just my job.”
“I wouldn’t have known what to do.”
“You did great. We’re a good team.”
She smiles.
While we’re alone and all is quiet, now’s as good a time as any to tell Avery what I know about the wreck.
Both of us, however, say the exact same words in sync. “There’s something I…”
I laugh nervously. “You first.”
“No, no, you first.” She seems relieved.
“Um, okay, the night of your car accident…”
“My…accident?”
“Yes. The thing is, I was there.”
She turns a shade paler, if that’s even possible. “There? What do you mean, there?”
“I was driving when I shouldn’t have been.”
“What do you mean? You weren’t drunk. Please tell me you weren’t drunk.”
I take her gently by the arms. “No, not at all. I’ve actually never been drunk. Tipsy a couple of times…”
“What are you saying, Jack? Were you tipsy? Did you cause the crash?”
“No, just listen. I was only sixteen, but I didn’t have my license yet. There was this girl…”
“Isn’t there always?” She crosses her arms and narrows her eyes.
“No…well, yes sometimes. But that’s not the point. I had my permit, and I sneaked out with Pa’s truck to go pick up this girl. We…you know…behind a barn, but then I took her back home and was driving back home, which was Pa’s home.”
“You’re rambling.”
“Okay, sorry. So, I topped a hill and saw something on fire on the side of the road. The closer I got, I saw it was a car smashed into a tree. I pulled over and ran to see if anyone was in there, and I…I found you.”
“Me?” Avery blinks rapidly as though sorting through the memories. “So you were the one who…”
“Pulled you from the wreck, yes.”
“And my grandparents?”
“I couldn’t save them. It was too late. I’m so sorry, Avery.”
“So how did – did you take me to the hospital?”
“No. I called nine-one-one and gave them the exact location. I made sure you were well off the road on the other side, and then I…well, I left before the first responders arrived.”
“You left? But why? Jack, there were so many unanswered questions. You could have told them something.”
“I told them all I could over the phone. I didn’t witness the accident when it happened, so I suppose no one really knows what caused it. Jesse already had such a bad reputation, I was afraid to be caught driving without a license. It was too dark for me to really tell who you were – there was blood all over your face.”
Avery winces, lowering her head as though recalling all the pain she must have gone through. “You know, they probably would have been lenient on you.”
“I know that now. I didn’t then. I made sure you were still breathing before I left. After that, I saw something on the news about it. They didn’t mention your name because you were a minor, but I was relieved to know you’d survived. I think you were still in middle school at the time, and by the time you were able to come to high school, I was a senior busy with sports and getting ready for college. When you told me the story there over breakfast, I put two and two together.”
Avery just stands there looking at me, tears welling up in her eyes. I don’t know whether she’s angry or sad or…
Someone bangs on the front door. Both our heads turn toward the sound.
“I should answer it. Can you watch him?”
She nods.
I go to the door and open it to find Allison, her husband, and the kids all here. The kids all look upset. Which is why they shouldn’t be here, but what am I supposed to say?
“I’m sorry,” Allison says, “they begged us to bring them. Is he okay?”
“He’s stable, and I can call you in an hour or so.”
“Please, Uncle Jack, can we just see him a minute? We won’t play with him or anything,” Annabeth says. She takes my hand, pleading with her big blue eyes, her cheeks wet with tears.
I really want to lay down the law and tell them they shouldn’t be here stressing out the patient (and Avery), but damn it, there’s so much innocence and sincerity in that little face, I just can’t do it.
“Okay, but be very quiet and don’t touch him. Follow me.”
Annabeth clings to my hand as we head back to the exam room. Avery looks up, glances down at her niece, and smiles.
“How is he?” Allison whispers.
“I think he’ll be okay.” Avery steps aside so the kids can get a look. Their eyes immediately home in on the IV pole and line taped to his shaved leg. They look terrified, and Annabeth starts crying.
I squat down in front of her, taking her little hands in mine. “Shh. Don’t cry. I know it looks a little scary with all that stuff, but that’s what’s going to make him better. He’s getting medicine now. It’ll take a little while, but Huff will be back at your grandmother’s house ready to play with you soon. He’ll need some time to rest though.”
She sniffs. “Like when I had the floose?”
Avery strokes Annabeth’s hair. “Yes, like when you had the flu. You had to stay in bed for a few days, and you felt a little better every day, remember?”
The little girl nods.
I try to offer as hopeful a smile as I can. “Good. I’ll keep him here for a while and make sure he’s doing well. Then he can go home, okay?”
“Okay. Thanks, Uncle Jack.”
She throws her arms around my neck. I freeze at first, but then hug her lightly and stand back up. Everyone’s looking at me, and it’s making me uncomfortable. I save dogs every day, but I’ve never hugged a client’s kid before, and they’ve never hugged me.
Yeah, so it’s not as bad as I thought it might be. That still doesn’t make me want kids of my own.
Beside me, Avery groans and sways, holding my arm to stay upright.
I wrap my arm around her waist to steady her. “You’ve barely eaten anything. Your blood sugar must be way too low. Allison, can you take her back and make sure she gets something to eat?”
“Of course.” Allison and Allen hold her arms and guide her out of the room.
“But, Jack, I…” Avery looks over her shoulder.
“No buts. Doctor’s orders.”
She frowns but lets them lead her out. I’m worried about her. The stress is too much, and my confession didn’t help. Maybe it’s time to convince her to drop this whole thing, let me loan her however much money she needs, and stop this whole charade.
But as I hear the minivan engine start up and fade away, I’m afraid it’s become a lot more than a charade. I’m finding it harder and harder to imagine my life without her.
Damn it, maybe Jesse was right.
∞∞∞
An hour after we started the IV, Huff starts wagging his tail and licks my hand. His heart rate is fine. The swelling is going down, so I go ahead and administer some antibiotics. I take out the IV and put him in a kennel with a bowl of water to see if he’ll drink. He does, and even eats a little soft food. I’m thankful he’s recovering, but then again, if he hadn’t, it might be easier to cut ties. As it stands, I’m not that much of a dick to let a dog die just to get out of a fake marriage.
I pull up a chair and get comfortable so I can keep an eye on Huff for the next few hours. Huff is soon
sleeping comfortably. My eyelids grow heavy, and my head nods. It’s been a while since I’ve pulled an all-nighter with an intensive care patient.
My cell phone rings, startling me awake – probably Avery checking up on Huff. But the caller ID shows Dr. Bradshaw.
I tap accept and answer, my voice groggy. “Hey, Doc, what’s up?”
“Where are you?”
“I’m at the clinic. Emergency call. I’m staying for observation.” Peeking in on Huff, I see he’s still breathing well. He raises his head and cocks it to one side.
“Oh, good. I was driving by and saw the lights on.”
I blink my eyes to clear the fog and check the time. “It’s three a.m. You out on a call?”
He’s quiet for a moment. “I’ll turn around. Be there in two.”
“Okay.” That was odd. Maybe he needs help delivering a foal or something. I stand up and stretch, then walk to the back door just as he’s knocking on it.
I open the door and let him in. He’s in athletic shorts, flip-flops, and a baggy T-shirt. Definitely not emergency call clothes. “Hey, Jack.”
He goes straight to the office and makes a pot of coffee.
“What’s going on? Everything okay?”
He sighs and shakes his head. “Everything is not okay. I screwed up.”
“How so?” I prep myself a cup, adding cream and a dash of sugar as the coffee drips into the glass pot.
“It’s Lisa. She found me texting an old girlfriend. I didn’t initiate it, but I didn’t put a stop to it, either. She sent me…” He stares at the coffee pot. The back of his neck turns red. “Pictures. It was, I don’t know… It made me feel like the man I used to be, when everything didn’t revolve around kids and soccer and dentist appointments and bills.”
“Oh. Wow, that’s…”
“Stupid, I know.” He heaves another sigh as the coffee spurts the last of the brew into the pot. “Lisa told me to get out. I don’t know if she means forever or not, but…Jack, we haven’t had sex in three months.”
“Man, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s not your burden to bear. I just didn’t know where else to go. I don’t want to leave her or the kids, but I don’t want to be in a sexless marriage either.”
“You know, my brother’s wife, Leigh, is a really good counselor.”
“I know. We’ve been to her.”
“Oh.” Of course I wouldn’t know. Leigh doesn’t talk about her clients.
“Why don’t you go home and get some sleep? I can’t sleep anyway, so I’ll keep an eye on the patient.”
“Are you sure? I can stay and talk or whatever.”
His bitter laugh surprises me. “You have no idea, Jack. Listen, things might be different for you with Avery, but…I don’t know, just make sure you’re both ready if you decide to get married. It’s not easy.”
I pour myself some coffee, but I have no idea what to say at this point. He’s a living example of everything I’ve been trying to avoid. Sure, kids can be cute and wives can be fun, but eventually, this is what we have to look forward to.
“Go on home,” Dr. Bradshaw says. “Just give me the rundown on the patient’s condition, and I’ll call you if anything changes.”
“Okay.” I bring him up to date on Huff’s condition and grasp his shoulder. “If there’s anything I can do, just let me know.”
“Be happy, Jack. Whatever you do, just be happy and drive safe.”
I drive back to Avery’s parents’ place, caffeine and a racing mind keeping me plenty alert. I’m torn between wanting to pack my stuff and go back home or climb in bed with her. This should not be such a difficult choice.
Chapter Seventeen
Avery
Reruns of I Love Lucy come to life in black and white on my old twenty-seven-inch TV. My room is just like it was when I moved out, minus a few things I brought to my apartment. My white-painted dresser with pink knobs and the mirror with adhesive marks from celebrity wedding pictures I’d taped to it is still there. The full-size mattress is new, but the bedframe is still the same, with stenciled stars in glow-in-the-dark paint on the headboard. A shelf above the bed still holds a row of dusty dolls in wedding dresses.
The wobbly ceiling fan whirs on low speed above me, and despite how tired I am, I can’t sleep. It’s the episode where Lucy tells Ricky she’s having a baby. It’s so damn fake and heart-tugging at the same time.
Propped up on my pillows, I let the tears fall as Ricky sings “She’s Having My Baby” to Lucy. Why can’t it be like that? I’ve spent the past few years making everyone’s wedding look like a fairy tale. Maybe it’s blinded me to reality. Allison and Allen are happy, but they’ve had their ups and downs. Andrea is desperate to have a baby, while Greg is worn out from trying.
And here I am, pregnant with a real baby and a phony husband who won’t be singing and dancing when I tell him the news. I’m tempted to call Leigh, but she’s still in the throes of newlywed bliss, so I don’t want to weigh her down with this catastrophe that I brought upon myself.
I really don’t want to be a single mom, but I hate the thought of an abortion. Maybe I can let Andrea and Greg adopt the baby.
But Jack saved me – I’d have gone up in flames just like my grandparents had he not arrived on the scene. I owe him something more than just casual sex. As much as it hurts, maybe that thing is…freedom.
My door creaks open. Crap, Mom or Astraea has probably heard me having a private pity party. But it’s neither one of them.
Jack slips inside, closing the door quietly behind him. He comes to the bed and sits beside me. At first I think I’m dreaming, until he wipes my tears away with his thumbs.
“Hey, what’s all this? Huff is doing great. Dr. Bradshaw is staying the rest of the night to observe him. He can come home soon.”
“I’m glad, but it’s not that.”
“What is it, then?”
I look into his deep blue eyes, the ones I’ve come to adore so much. “Jack, you were amazing tonight.”
“I’ve treated much worse injuries.”
“No, not just with Huff, but with my family. With the kids, especially. They went to bed smiling and happy that Uncle Jack had come to Huff’s rescue. And the way you painted rocks with them and… I know they’re messy and loud and…”
He takes my face in his hands and kisses me. It’s the absolute tenderest kiss he’s ever given me, and it warms me to the core. Jack unbuttons my pajama blouse, planting kisses down my neck and collarbone, until he reaches my breast. He kneads it in his hand and kisses me again before dipping his head to capture a nipple in his mouth.
I tangle my fingers in his hair, letting my head fall back on the pillow as he suckles, drawing it into his mouth a little harder. My whole body tingles. No one’s ever made me feel this way, and I doubt anyone else can. He rolls my other nipple between his thumb and forefinger until I grasp at his scrub shirt. He sits up long enough to take it off, along with his pants.
Lifting my hips, I let him take off my pajama bottoms, and then he’s on top of me, kissing me again, his tongue sparring with mine. And then he’s inside me, filling me, his kisses burning paths along my neck and collarbone. His thrusts are slow, careful, and deliberate.
My hands rove along his back, feeling his bunched muscles contracting under my fingers.
He thrusts harder, and my nails dig in, making him groan. Energy builds in my core, deeper than ever before, so deep I think he’s invaded my soul. It’s painful to the point of pleasure, a loaded spring I can’t contain.
“Jack…” His name is a breathless whisper, and it’s all I can say before the tension shatters, throwing rippling pulses up my spine, along my legs, and all the way to my toes. Head thrown back, the pain escapes in one long, low, primal moan.
His release follows. Cheek pressed against mine, I feel the vibration as a groan climbs from deep down in his throat and escapes in a long, hot exhaled breath on my neck.
Gradually, he slow
s to a stop and straightens his arms until he hovers above me and kisses me once more, slow and gentle.
It’s almost like a goodbye kiss. Is that what it is? If so, I can’t tell him about the baby now. I don’t want him staying with me just because I’m pregnant. If he wants to go, I won’t keep him. I reach up and touch his face, smiling up at him. He lies down beside me, gathers me in his arms.
“Nice room,” he says with a chuckle.
“Thanks.”
“I saw the bride dolls up there. Have you always wanted to have a bridal shop?”
“Not always, but I’ve always been fascinated with weddings. It’s silly, I guess.”
“No, not silly.”
“Well okay, but…” I shrug, nuzzling my head under his chin to soak up as much of him as possible. “When I was a little girl, I saw a wedding as the pinnacle of love between a man and a woman. To make that big of a promise, until death… I don’t know, it was powerful to me. I saw my mother and father so happy together, so I knew that kind of forever was possible. At least, that’s what I thought back then.”
He’s silent for a moment as his fingers glide like feathers across my abdomen, above the child he doesn’t yet know I carry. “And now?”
Goose bumps prickle my skin when he cups my breast as gently as one might hold a baby bird. “Now, I don’t know. Things aren’t as simple as they were back then, are they?”
I feel him shake his head. On the TV, another episode of I Love Lucy is on. Ricky is repeating “I’m a father” while looking through the glass at their new son, and he’s so overwhelmed with joy, he passes out.
Sleep, which had eluded me for hours, finally comes at me full force. I can’t keep my eyes open.
“For the record,” Jack says, “I did notice you in high school, but I was too full of myself to really see you. I’m sorry about that.”
There are so many things I want to tell him, but only one thing settles on my tongue.
I love you.
Did I say it out loud? I have no idea. All I know is that I don’t hear a reply.
∞∞∞
Morning comes all too soon. I roll over to find Jack’s side empty. He’s not in the private bath. Either he went back to his room before Dad could find him here or he’s gone like my breakfast probably will be shortly. There’s nothing I can do either way except get up, wash off yesterday’s crazy, and put on some fresh, clean clothes.
