by Sofia Grey
“She hasn’t filed for divorce yet.”
“No.”
“It’s only a few months; these things might take forever here.”
Three months and one week. Not that I was counting. “They might.” Or she might not be ready to take that step.
Last time I was with Kate, her face etched itself into my heart. Any time I saw her, I’d remember that moment and what I’d done. I destroyed her. Forgetting the condom had been a moment of stupidity, but bullying her into marrying me was arrogant beyond belief. Pushing her around when she was pregnant— I knew that was why she lost the baby. Why she could never forgive me.
“Jordan?”
“Huh?”
“We’re heading back to Houston for Christmas. How about you?”
I had no idea. “Ask me something else.”
“Mom wants to see you, and I’m sure Uncle Thaddeus does too.”
“I dunno. I may stay in London.” Would Kate be on her own? Sophie was going to be in New Zealand for the holidays. If I asked Sophie nicely, she might let me have Kate’s address, and I could at least send her a card. Or flowers. Maybe.
We called into the Harrods giant Food Hall on our way back to the apartment, but while Lou chose something for dinner, I diverted. There was something I’d seen in the jewelry section I wanted to have a closer look at.
Something Kate might like.
19.4 Jenny
My phone rang with an unfamiliar number. It shouldn’t be Rob, but I took no chances. The ringing stopped, and I waited. Seconds later, the phone chirruped to announce a voice message.
It was Kate. I added her new number to my contacts list and called her back.
“Hey. I can’t believe it’s so long since we spoke.” She sounded as friendly as ever, and tears sprang to my eyes.
Seriously, I was crying again? I’d done nothing but, since I arrived back home a week ago.
“I’m sorry about Rob,” Kate continued. “That must have been hard. Do you want to talk about it?”
Did I? Not really, but I needed to. “He hurt me.” Memories of picking out pieces of glass from my knees made me nauseous. I lifted my fingers to the cut on my cheek. That had needed three stitches. “It wasn’t the first time, and I couldn’t do it any more. I had enough, you know?” I closed my eyes against the onslaught of images. The broken glass held just inches from my eyes. Rob’s sneer. My heart shattering into a million pieces. “Is that what happened with Jordan?”
She was silent for a couple seconds. “I had a miscarriage.”
I didn’t expect that. I groped for something to say. “I didn’t know you were pregnant.”
“That’s why we got married so ridiculously quickly. Not my idea, I might add. But yes. I was. I couldn’t talk about it, Jen. Not to anyone. It was the only way I could cope.”
I knew all about that. For months I pretended it was wonderful with Rob. At first it was. He’d been everything I wanted, and that was partly why it hurt so damned much. The amazing guy I fell in love with was still in there somewhere.
I didn’t want to think about him. This was my chance to reconnect with Kate. “How are you now? Where are you working?”
Another hesitation. “I’m not. I’m renovating a house my grandmother left me, while I get my head together. I don’t know if I’ll ever go back to I.T. sales.”
“Wow. Maybe you’ve found your calling. House renovation and sell for a fat profit?”
Her soft laugh trickled down the line. “I love it too much here, to think about selling. And it was Gran’s when she grew up. It’s steeped in family history.”
“Tell me more about it.”
“It’s huge. Like something out of a period drama. And it’ll be gorgeous in a few years. I’m working on it one room at a time. Mostly. Until I get sidetracked. Hey, in a total change of subject, did you say you’re looking for somewhere to live?”
“Yes, I guess. I mean, I have to. Mum and Dad are wonderful, but I’m still a child to them. I’m used to having my own place.”
“How do you feel about renting a tidy little terrace in Didsbury? I’ve no idea what the hell I’m doing with my life, and I can’t handle any kind of big decisions. Selling is a step too far, but I’d love to rent it to you. Six months, twelve—whatever works for you.”
“Oh, my God, I’d love to. Thank you.” Rob didn’t know where Kate lived. I might be safe there. I dove right in. “Would you mind if I upgraded the alarm system?”
“Of course not. Just send me the bill. It’s been fine so far, though, and it’s a nice neighborhood.”
“I know, but I’m scared of Rob finding me. What he’ll do if he does.”
“You mean he physically hurt you?” I heard the disbelief in her voice. “What the fuck happened, Jen?”
More images ran on fast-forward in my head. Cade taking me to the hospital, then to his place in a cab, and to Mum’s the next day. Cade. My hero. So gentle and kind with me. His quiet insistence I did nothing wrong and had nothing to blame myself for.
“I don’t know how to face the people at work. Everyone liked Rob. Do I tell them we split up? I’m not wearing my ring now. Will they notice?”
Kate sighed. “I ran away to somewhere nobody knew me. You should tell Marella, in case he calls you at work.”
I updated Kate on the events at Marella’s party. “It’s like everyone is falling apart. You and Jordan. Isobel and Greg. Are we destined to be crazy cat ladies?”
“I’ve already started. I have a little cat now.”
“That’s funny. Are you okay, Kate? Does it get easier?”
“Ask me again next month. Sophie’s getting married soon, and Jordan’s going to be at the wedding.”
“At least you live hundreds of miles apart. It’s not like you’ll bump into each other on the street. Rob works in town, like I do. He’s not going to let me go. He’s already called here and showed up.”
Dad talked about injunctions and restraining orders, but I didn’t want to go there. Rob was polite when he came to the door, asked if he could see me, and then walked away, head bent. He looked truly penitent. For a long moment, I considered going after him, but then I remembered the glass in my face. No.
Never again
I’d just said goodbye to Kate when my phone rang again. This time, it was Cade.
“Hey. How are you?” He checked in with me every day, and his quick friendly calls had become my lifeline.
“I’m good, thanks. Kate called, and it was lovely to catch up with her.” The idea of renting her house was both exciting and terrifying, and needed more thought before I talked about it.
“That’s cool. Marella says she hopes you feel better, by the way. Any idea when you’re coming back to work?”
“I guess I have to, but is it stupid of me to be nervous?”
“You’re never stupid, Jen. He took advantage of your good nature.”
“I know, but I feel like a failure. We weren’t married long.”
“You’re showing how smart you are, and how tough. Doesn’t sound like a failure to me.”
“Has Rob been to the office?”
“Nope. I talked to the girls on Reception, and the guys in Security. And I gave them all his picture. They’ll make sure he doesn’t get anywhere near you at work.”
What did I ever do to deserve Cade in my life? I knew without asking that he’d have my back. “Where on earth did you get his picture from?”
“Facebook. I’m stalking him there to keep tabs on him.” He paused a moment. “I made a new profile and asked to be friends, and he accepted.”
I was stunned at how much Cade did for me. Little things that made me feel safe. “That’s brilliant. Thank you. I’m surprised he accepted the friendship, though. He’s normally cautious about stuff like that.”
“Yeah, well… When a blonde bombshell called Tiffany asked him, he caved instantly. Might have been her profile picture or the fact she was looking for fun after breaking up with her boyfriend
, but it worked.”
Christ. It didn’t take Rob long to get over the split. How many more ways could he hurt me? However, it was brilliant of Cade to think of doing this. “You’re amazing, Cade Brisley. Did you know that?”
“You’re not so bad yourself, Twinkletoes.”
I snorted with laughter at the ages-old nickname he revived. It felt good. I might get through this.
19.5 Jordan
I sneaked another look at my watch. It wasn’t even eight yet. I had to suffer at least another hour, before I could excuse myself. The TM-Tech party was a tradition I couldn’t avoid and usually didn’t want to. We closed our offices around the world, to celebrate Thanksgiving in line with the U.S., and in London we threw a staff party on the Wednesday night .
Business had been good this year, and everyone was having a great time. Everyone except me.
The prospect of seeing Kate at the wedding on Saturday was tying me in knots. If things went well, I’d ask for her address. If not, I’d walk away and finally put this clusterfuck behind me.
I produced a smile, nodded to another of my colleagues, and started doing the rounds. I was to speak to as many of the employees as possible, thank them for their hard work, and mingle as though I enjoyed myself.
Thank heavens for Cassie. She was never far away and it felt almost natural to have her by my side. The ten-pin bowling had turned into a regular weekly thing, and we started going to the movies too. She looked stunning tonight, in an ankle-skimming black dress, with pearls nestling at her throat. Her hair was piled loosely on her head with a few strands falling around her face. She could be a Greek goddess.
One of my colleagues, Antony Smythe, slapped me jovially on the shoulder. “Good party, eh? A few of us are going to a club from here. Fancy joining us?”
“Sorry. I’ve got plans.” As usual, these revolved around a well-tried combination of whisky and Oasis. But that was preferable to spending the rest of the night pretending to enjoy myself.
I managed to slip out of the party, and was making my way to the exit when I bumped into Cassie. She had her coat over her arm and also appeared to be leaving.
“G’night Cass.”
“Are you leaving now too? Which way are you going?”
Most of the time, I travelled around London in cabs, but I planned to take the Tube tonight, and that was where Cass was heading too. The cold air might sober me and chase away the champagne residue.
We talked about the party, as we made our way through the station. It was a quiet night, with the rush hour long gone, but too early for the night-time revelers. Partway down the long escalator to the platform, I heard a shout and looked up in surprise.
“Watch out.” The man at the top of the escalator looked distressed. He clutched a large black suitcase with one hand, using the other to point at a second case hurtling down the escalator toward us. It bumped and bounced as it raced along, and I grabbed Cass, and held her close, out of the way of the missile.
“Wow. Thanks.” Her eyes were wide and startled.
“Are you okay? That was close.”
“This is closer.” She made no move to pull away, and instead wound her arms around my neck. “Would you like to kiss me?”
After months of being alone, having a beautiful woman in my arms again was a heady sensation, but I hesitated. It felt wrong to want Cassie. I’d spent the day looking forward to seeing Kate again, though she might not feel the same way.
Kate left me. Cassie was here in my arms. What more could any sane man ask for?
I dropped my head, and our lips brushed together. A rapid juddering underfoot reminded me we’d reached the end of the escalator, and we moved off, Cassie still entwined around me. She sighed and nestled closer, trying to deepen the kiss.
It was wrong. I shouldn’t be doing this. I lifted my head and gazed into her eyes. “I don’t want rumors to start about you.” The loss of contact made me breathless.
“Everyone already thinks we’re involved. Why disappoint them?”
I’d kick myself later, when Kate fucked me over and I was still alone, but I couldn’t do this. Not tonight. I stepped back. “I’m sorry. Maybe I’m still hung up on Kate, but I don’t want to complicate things. It’s not fair to you.”
Disappointment showed on her face and she opened her mouth to speak, but I placed a finger on her lips. “Please, Cass, don’t take this the wrong way. I need you to be my friend right now, as well as my PA. It’s all I can offer.”
She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, tears sparkled on her lashes. Her smile looked pained. “Okay,” she whispered.
Relief and regret flickered though me. “Cass, you deserve someone much better. Don’t waste your time on me.”
Chapter 20
20.1 Jenny
The first two days back in the office, I didn’t relax for a minute. I was paranoid that Rob would find a way to see me. He’d been to our offices so many times, I was convinced he could sneak in unannounced.
Marella agreed I could move to a corner desk, from where I could see the entire floor, and I slowly let my guard down. Cade suggested I commute with him, on his bike. Dressed in protective leathers and with a full-face helmet, I looked nothing like my normal self. Not only did I get to snuggle behind him twice every day, but I had a bodyguard at my side as I entered and left the building. That worked for me.
I had to go back to pick up my stuff at some point, but for now, I was managing. Mum whisked me on a shopping trip for new clothes and toiletries, while Dad replaced my cell phone, tablet, and laptop. I existed in a weird state of limbo—not quite homeless, but not settled either. Moving into Kate’s house made sense, though the idea of living alone terrified me.
Should I find someone to share with me? Maybe advertise at work? Like so many things, I’d think about that later.
My desk phone rang, and I answered without thinking. “Jenny Allerton.”
“Jen.” It was Rob.
I stared at the unfamiliar number on the display. “Where are you calling from?”
“So you can block this number as well?”
Shit. He’d figured that out. Rather than changing my number, I’d opted for the techs blocking Rob’s usual phone numbers. His email addresses were also blocked. Panic thickened my throat, and I fought to squash it down. The nice lady in H.R. had talked to me at length about how to deal with a difficult call, and I tried to remember her instructions. “I don’t want to talk to you, Rob. Please don’t call again. I’m going to hang up.”
“Please don’t. I just want a minute. That’s all. Please?”
It was a reasonable request. And he’d only ever really hurt me when he was drunk. That was unlikely for mid-morning. “What do you want?”
He huffed a tired-sounding breath. “I fucked up. I know. I’m so sorry, Jen. Everything got on top of me, and I flipped. I’d like to meet you for lunch, go somewhere nice, and I’ll apologize in person. Can we do that?”
I touched my cheek. “No. I’m sorry.”
“Maybe a drink, after work?”
Definitely not. “No.”
“Can I come to your mum and dad’s? Talk to you there?” I wavered, and he pressed on. “Every marriage has its ups and downs. You’re still my wife, and I’d like to think we can get past this. I love you, Jenny.”
He loved me so much, he’d threatened me with a broken glass. “No.” A fat, salty tear trickled silently down my cheek, right over the stitches. “I’m going to hang up now.”
“Jen, don’t. Please—”
I placed the handset back on the cradle and dropped my head into my hands. He sounded genuine. What if he meant it?
I didn’t want him to call back, so I mailed the techs and gave them his newest number to block. He’d get the message.
Or not. He called again that afternoon, from a different place. Like before, he wanted to see me, to apologize. Again I said no and hung up. He tried twice more before the day was out. That was four different phon
e numbers today.
I gave in and requested a new extension. I’d have to get my business cards reprinted and get in touch with all my clients and suppliers, but it was worth it.
20.2 Kate
I drove to London for Sophie’s wedding and stayed with her the night before in what used to be Gran’s apartment. Isaac was there too, and we spent time catching up. We had a lot to talk about.
Their wedding brought happy tears to my eyes, and I couldn’t help comparing it to mine. Sophie’s was a riot of color, with dozens of friends there, to wish them well. Their guests were so many, the Marriage Room in the registry office ran out of chairs and had people standing at the back. My little sister wore a brightly patterned silk shift dress and carried a bouquet of tiny white roses. She was determined to have the wedding her way, and since a beach ceremony was impossible in London, she brought the spirit of it instead.
Isaac’s Hawaiian shirt clashed, yet matched at the same time. The smiles on their faces made my heart melt.
They booked a local pub and a jazz band for the reception, and again we filled the venue. So far, I hadn’t seen Jordan. Trepidation bubbled in my stomach. How would I react when he arrived? I knew he’d be there. He paid for the reception as a wedding present, Sophie told me, and that included half a dozen cases of champagne.
Despite working around the house and garden so much, I’d put on a little weight, probably because I was eating more. I gave up the constant battle to stay thin and ate when I was hungry. That was another part of my old life I didn’t miss. So much change in a few months. I wore a silky dress today, in a burnt orange shade that suited my coloring. I didn’t have the chance to get a haircut, so I clipped my hair back with a beaded comb, leaving a few strands to tumble over my face.
The mirror told me I looked good. Would Jordan think so? And why did I care?
I knew the minute he came into the bar. I’d followed one of Isaac’s student friends to the dance floor, when I felt someone looking at me.
